For Forever
by klaineandblazers
Summary: A story of two boys growing up and realizing what's always been right in front of them. (Niff)
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story centered around Nick and Jeff from Glee, posted here for the friends that are interested ((: This story is gonna span over their lives from middle school to** **high school, as these two grow up into the people I imagine them as.**

 **Of course, I don't own Glee.**

* * *

"Straighten your tie, Nicholas. You're getting too old for me to have to tell you that."

Nick Duval turned from his mother, looking in the mirror and straightening his tie like she'd asked. He started fifth grade today. It was a pretty big deal, because now he was in middle school. And now his uniform had a tie. His elementary school uniform had just been a T-shirt with the school's logo. "Better?"

His mother nodded, looking at their reflection in the mirror and smiling a little. "You look very handsome, Nicholas. Although I wish you would let me take you for a haircut… next weekend, maybe."

Nick's smile fell a little, and he touched his hair self consciously. He hoped it didn't look too long, or just bad in general. "Can you help me fix-"

Her phone rang then, interrupting him, and she held up a finger, answering and walking out of the room. Nick knew better than to try to get her attention while she was on the phone. He gave himself a final glance in the mirror, brushing his fringe off his forehead. First day of middle school. He should make a good first impression, his parents always talked about that. His mother wasn't off the phone when Nick left for school, so he left without saying goodbye. His father was already at work, he left super early every morning because he had really important things to do. Nick knew they were important because his dad had to wear a suit and tie to work everyday and he had a really shiny car that Nick wasn't allowed to touch.

Nick reached the bus stop and sat down on the bench, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap. He wanted to fidget with his hair again, but he knew if his mother were here she would scold him for it.

"Hey Duval."

Nick turned at the sound of his name, seeing the boy who lived down the street walk up to meet him. He always thought it was funny that he called Nick by his last name, nobody else did that. "Hi Jeff."

Jeff sat next to him, a really big smile on and his tie too loose. "Middle school. Are you ready?"

Nick shrugged. "I guess so. We won't know until we get there."

Jeff laughed, and brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes. Jeff had long hair and it looked fine. Maybe Nick didn't need a haircut. "Yeah, maybe. Except school is boring, duh."

"It is not, we get to learn a lot of stuff." Nick corrected him. He didn't think Jeff's parents reminded him that school was really important.

"I can learn a lot of stuff in other ways." They stood as the bus came, and Nick supposed he couldn't argue with that. They went their separate ways, Jeff sitting with some friends from his soccer team and Nick sitting by himself and opening a book to read. It was hard to focus on it with his nerves, but he kept telling himself he had nothing to worry about. New school. First impressions. Getting a haircut. Only a few things to worry about.

* * *

Middle school, as it turns out, was really difficult. Nick had homework all the time now, and he was having trouble finding a group to fit into. Everyone seemed to already have their own friend groups. It was discouraging, but Nick could handle being alone. A few weeks into fifth grade, he'd pretty much accepted he would just be by himself. It was fine. He'd just adapt to it.

That's what his family kept saying, at least. And his older brother called him to wish him luck on his first day. Nick didn't want to tell him that he was a few weeks late, because his mother said Michael was 'trying'. But he lived far away and it was hard for him to keep track of stuff that wasn't really important.

Middle school wasn't really important.

It was more of the same everyday. Ride the bus, sit in class, do the homework, go to bed. He told Jeff that at the bus stop one day in the fall.

Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "Then do some other stuff."

"Like what?"

He shrugged, busy looking for spots in the trees where the leaves already changed. "I dunno. A sport. An instrument. Hanging out with your friends."

Nick watched him from the bench. "I don't have friends."

"Bullshit." Jeff smiled. "We're friends."

He almost said, 'We are?', but stopped himself. It would've been rude. Instead, he said, "Good."

"Good." Jeff handed him a leaf, one that had already changed colors and fallen. "First one." It was a yellow, misshapen one.

Nick couldn't see any other changed leaves, Jeff was right. "When it turns a color like this, it means it died."

Jeff laughed. "It's still pretty. Yellow is the best."

The way that Jeff said it made Nick trust him. Yellow was pretty. He liked that Jeff liked it. He pocketed the leaf, careful not to bend or tear it. When the bus came, Jeff squished in beside Nick in the seat and put in a pair of headphones.

Nick turned his attention out the window and smiled a little. Jeff was his friend. He liked that.

* * *

The absolute worst part about fifth grade was other fifth graders. Nick didn't understand them at all. All the girls were mean. All the boys were mean. And lunch was a war zone.

He took his usual seat at an empty table, putting his lunch out and trying to find his place in his book. It was April, he'd done this all year. But for some reason today, the other kids wanted to fight with him about it.

"Why do you always sit by yourself?"

Nick looked up, seeing a kid he recognized as Ryan. Ryan pushed kids into lockers. He wasn't alone, he had four other kids behind him. They also pushed kids into lockers. "I like it."

Ryan laughed, everyone else laughing instantly. "It's because you don't have any friends!" Nick was silent. It's not like he could argue. "You're such a loser. I bet no one wants to be friends with you because you never talk."

Nick swallowed, trying to keep tears at bay. It was useless to cry over being made fun of, it wouldn't change anything. "Look, he's gonna cry!" One of the other boys piped up, and his group thought this was hilarious.

"Go on, cry about it." Ryan taunted, but was suddenly cut short.

"What's going on?" It was Jeff, having pushed through the students to get to them.

Ryan smirked. "Duval is about to cry."

Jeff looked to Nick, taking a deep breath. Nick blinked the tears back. "Nick, come sit with me." Jeff said, giving him a half sort of smile. It looked like he was angry and trying to cover it up.

Nick nodded, standing and taking his lunch, avoiding eye contact with Ryan. "Still have nothing to say?" Ryan pressed, and Jeff stepped forward to say something to him, but Nick spoke first.

"You're the loser. You only have friends because they're scared to say no to you." He said, his words coming out a bit fast, but still clear. Ryan looked taken aback, blinking at him. "I'd rather sit alone everyday than sit with people like you."

Jeff's usual grin was back, and Nick cracked his own smile when Jeff flipped Ryan off. Ryan was the one speechless this time, and Jeff led Nick back through the cafeteria to his table. "Man, did you see his face? That was priceless. He was totally shocked!"

Nick laughed, blushing as he took a seat at Jeff's table, which was filled with other kids that played the sports Jeff did. They all greeted him and made room for him to sit. "Thanks for letting me sit here."

Jeff slapped Nick on the back, smile still wide. "You should've punched him, that would've been hilarious! Guys, did you hear what Nick just did?"

Jeff recounted the story, embellishing with his own details, acting out Ryan's facial expressions and grabbing Nick's arm when he told his favorite part. Jeff had been right, he really did consider Nick a friend. And for the rest of the year, it continued. He had a group to sit with. He had Jeff. And even though he didn't mind being alone, having a friend was much better. Being with Jeff was much better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Side note: The title of this story is from Dear Evan** **Hansen.**

* * *

"You suck at these games, all of them." Jeff grinned, leaning forward with his controller, face almost less than a foot from the tv screen.

Nick pushed his shoulder, staring more intensely at the current video game they were playing. "I do not! You just have more practice." There were about six other games stacked by the tv, Jeff always brought them over and they headed up to the top floor of the house to play, where no one bothered them.

They were in sixth grade now, and hung out daily. They were best friends, and did everything together. Nick felt lucky that he had a best friend. "No practice, just skill." Jeff snorted, then paused the game, flopping back on the couch. "I'm exhausted."

"From Call of Duty?" Nick teased.

"No, that's effortless." Jeff smiled. "School was so long though. I'm dead. I want to sleep."

Nick shook his head. "No napping, I'll be bored."

"I didn't get any sleep last night." Jeff protested, yawning loudly. "My parents never stop screaming at eachother."

He frowned, fiddling with his controller. "Why?"

Jeff only shrugged, looking at the ceiling. "I dunno."

He'd only met Jeff's mom before. She seemed nice. But they usually came to Nick's house, because his parents weren't home so they could turn the TV up loud. Plus, Nick had a better game console. "Well, they shouldn't fight like that when you're around." Nick said softly, and Jeff sat up.

"Yeah. Hey, what time is it?"

He glanced at the clock. "8:23."

Jeff got up quickly. "I had to be back at 8." He discarded his controller on the floor, Nick laughing.

"You know if you unpause the game I'll win."

"No way." Jeff responded, quickly grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. "Bye."

Nick frowned at how abruptly he was leaving. "Bye-"

But Jeff was already gone, his footsteps quick on the stairs. Nick powered off the game console and went downstairs later, heading into his room on the second floor. Maybe Jeff's parents were really strict about curfews. Or maybe he didn't feel good. He pushed it from his mind. He'd ask Jeff about it tomorrow.

Jeff wasn't in school the next day. Nick thought maybe he missed the bus, but he didn't come in later either. He must be sick, it was probably why he left last night. But still, he was a little worried. So on the way home from school, Nick stopped at Jeff's house and knocked.

There was silence, then the sound of one of Jeff's little brothers crying. He waited a minute, then leaned to see if he could look through the window. But the door opened before he could look, and Jeff was there. With a split lip.

"What happened?"

Jeff smiled, but it looked funny with the swollen lip. "Hello to you, too."

"Hi. What happened?" He repeated, a million things going through his head. What caused it? Why was he home? When did it happen?

"Tripped." Jeff shrugged. "It doesn't even hurt." He seemed casual. It must not be that bad, then.

"Is it why you stayed home today?" He asked, Jeff scratching his head.

"Uh, yeah. Well, I don't really feel good."

Nick studied him. He looked fine. "Oh." They both stared at eachother. "Well, feel better."

Jeff nodded. "You got it. Why did you come over?"

"To see if you were okay."

His friend raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Nick laughed, crossing his arms. "Yeah."

Jeff's smile got a little bigger, his lip still a little distorted. "Thanks."

"No problem." He blushed for some reason. Jeff always made eye contact with everyone, Nick was the opposite. "Will you be in school tomorrow?"

Jeff nodded, then turned his head as someone called him from inside the house. It sounded like what must be his father. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." Jeff stepped back in, but then back out quickly, wrapping his arms around Nick briefly and hugging him close. Nick didn't even have a chance to say anything before Jeff disappeared back into his house.

Nick was left staring at the door, surprised. He hadn't been expecting that. He gathered himself and stepped off Jeff's porch, walking to his own house. He hoped Jeff recovered from whatever he was sick with quickly. Being home alone wasn't fun like hanging out with Jeff was.

* * *

Nick stopped keeping track of Jeff's absences some time after the first ones. It was nearly summer break now.

To: Jeff 3:17 PM

I just got back from school, why were you absent again?

To: Nick 4:32 PM

still sick ): did i miss anything in class?

To: Jeff 4:33 PM

No, we're two weeks from the end of sixth grade, the teachers have given up haha

To: Nick 4:39 PM

haha good

Nick fiddled with his phone. Whenever Jeff was absent one day, he was gone for at least a week. He must have missed a month of school when added altogether. And he never let Nick come over when he was sick. Maybe it was selfish, but he wished Jeff would let him come over anyways. Nick was lonely and his house seemed way bigger and emptier without Jeff being there. After a few minutes of thinking about it, he texted again.

To: Jeff 4:43 PM

I'm gonna stop at your house and tell you a funny story you missed in class today

To: Nick 4:43 PM

call me and tell me instead (:

To: Jeff 4:45 PM

It's way better in person

To: Nick 4:50 PM

i dont wanna get u sick

To: Jeff 4:51 PM

It's been 48 hours so youre not contagious anymore

To: Nick 4:51 PM

i might be

To: Jeff 4:53

Well I don't care, I'm coming over anyways, Ill take medicine after haha

To: Nick 4:54

dont come over nick

To: Jeff 4:54 PM

Why? Youre making me worried

To: Nick 4:55 PM

just dont come over, i just dont want you to okay

Nick stared at his phone screen, reading Jeff's text a couple times. He read their conversation to see what he did to make Jeff upset. Were they not friends anymore? He shut his phone off without texting back. Jeff hated him. Jeff never wanted to hang out with him again.

He took five minutes to pity himself and feel sad. Then he got up and pocketed his phone, heading downstairs. The more he thought about it, the more confused he was. Best friends didn't do this to eachother. He wouldn't let Jeff do this to him. Just like when he stood up to Ryan, he wouldn't let himself get pushed around anymore. Without entirely thinking it through, Nick left his house, jogging down the street to Jeff's house. He didn't really know what he would say. Maybe he'd ask why Jeff never wanted to hang out anymore. Maybe he'd tell Jeff that he was his closest friend and it hurt when your best friend told you they didn't want to see you.

He reached Jeff's house and knocked on the door a little harder than he intended to. After a minute, Jeff's younger brother answered the door. "Where's Jeff?" Nick asked quickly. His brother pointed up the stairs.

Nick breezed into the house and up the stairs, then took a second to brace himself outside Jeff's door. Just do it. He opened Jeff's door and entered. "Be honest if you don't like me anymore." Jeff looked up from his desk in surprise, and Nick's mouth fell open. Jeff had a black eye, deep purple by his nose and a greenish color around the edges. "Oh my God."

Jeff stood from his desk chair as if he could go hide somewhere. "Shh."

"What happened?" He asked, and Jeff shushed him again.

"I said not to come." He looked scared.

Nick shook his head. "Jeff, who did that?"

Jeff stared at him, shifting uneasily. "Nobody."

"Who did it?" He repeated, stepping closer. Why was Jeff lying to him? What was going on?

Jeff stepped back, looking away. "My dad."

"What?" He'd assumed it had been a bully. Not his own dad. "Your dad hit you?"

Jeff quickly put his hand over Nick's mouth. "Be quiet, he's here." He dropped his hand, glancing to the door, waiting for his dad to come in. But he didn't. "Yeah. But it was my fault."

"What did you do that deserved that?" Nick made a face, crossing his arms.

"I was an idiot. I was helping with dinner and I messed it up. It was my fault." Jeff repeated.

"Stop saying that." Nick tried to look at the bruise closer, but Jeff stepped back again.

"It's true."

"No, it isn't." Nick protested. He wished he could meet Jeff's dad so he could punch the guy and see how he liked it. "Does your mom know?"

Jeff shrugged, but after a moment, nodded. "Yeah."

"What does she do about it?"

"What is she supposed to do?" Jeff said defensively. "I was the one that messed it up. I don't want her to get hurt too. It was my fau-"

"Stop it!" Nick said, exasperated and upset and confused and too many other emotions to name. Jeff turned away, touching his bruise gingerly. Nick took a calming breath. "You need to tell someone."

"Who?"

He swallowed. "I- I don't know. Someone at school."

"You're making it into a bigger deal than it is." Jeff shoved his hands into his pockets. "It barely ever happens anyways, it's not like, all the time."

Suddenly, Nick remembered the split lip. And all the times Jeff had stayed home from school. He wasn't sick. "Jeff-"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Please." Jeff made that eye contact with him that he usually did, but it was different now. "Please."

Nick finally nodded, fidgeting with his hands. "Okay."

They kept looking at eachother, but Nick didn't know what else to say. So he hugged him instead. Jeff hugged back instantly, squeezing him tightly. And then Jeff's shoulders were shaking, and Nick held him tighter to still them. He had to do something. He would do something. And for now, he would hug him until he felt okay again.

* * *

It happened fast. A lot did. Sixth grade ended. Jeff's parents divorced. And then Jeff and his mother and his two younger brothers moved away. It was only the next town over, but it felt like they lived a million miles from Nick. He missed the freedom of seeing him whenever he wanted to. He quickly found out that it was a twenty minute bike ride to Jeff's new house, and he rode there almost everyday over the summer.

"You're late." Jeff grinned when Nick arrived, hopping off his bike and fanning himself.

"By three minutes! You're not the one getting this much cardio on the daily." He laughed, leaning his bike against Jeff's fence and joining him on the front steps, a little more shaded from the sun. His new house was small, really small, but Nick loved it. It was yellow. Nick wondered if Jeff remembered the yellow leaf, if he still thought yellow was the best.

"You'll be super buff for seventh grade." Jeff teased, passing him his soda. He pressed it to his forehead gratefully, then took a sip before handing it back.

"Do you think that will make it more tolerable?"

"No." Jeff tipped the rest of the drink back and swallowed, smiling as he crushed the can.

Nick laughed, leaning back on his hands. They didn't talk about last month much. One day, soon after Nick had found out about Jeff's father, Jeff had called him. He'd said he was sorry for lying to him, and for keeping it a secret. He said his mother was divorcing his dad, because she just wanted Jeff to be happy and safe. Nick had listened to him cry on the phone for a long time, then went to his house to hug him while he cried more, a mixture of sad and happy tears. The next weeks after that were crazy, and he went the month without seeing Jeff much at all, as he watched Jeff's house get packed up in boxes and moved in the UHaul.

Jeff rarely came to Nick's house anymore, they'd both rather be here. Where Jeff's mom was warm and everything was inviting and a little hectic in a good way. Nick's house wasn't like that at all. If Jeff's house was warm, Nick's was cold, all closed doors and quiet. Nick plucked a dandelion from the ground and spun it between his fingers. "My mom invited you over for Sunday brunch tomorrow, but you can only come if you wear a tie."

Jeff scoffed. "I will never willingly put on a tie. Not even for you, Duval."

He'd expected that. "There's gonna be lots of food, though."

"And lots of adults that are gonna tell me to straighten my tie and cut my hair." Jeff countered. Nick remembered his mother saying those exact things. So he really couldn't argue.

"I'll be there." Nick stated the obvious, but hoped it would change Jeff's mind anyways.

"True." Jeff blew out his breath, thinking. "Nope, sorry. Still gonna have to pass on the visit to the Duval Museum." Jeff had dubbed it that the first time he came over and noted that everything from the decor to the paint color reminded him of a museum, and had asked if he was allowed to use flash photography indoors.

"I tried." He shrugged, picking petals off the flower and dropping them on the bottom step by his feet.

"Does she love you, does she love you not?" Jeff smiled, reaching over and pulling a petal off.

"Probably not."

"Ooh, have a girl in mind?" Jeff wiggled his eyebrows.

Nick shook his head. "Nope." Jeff talked about girls all the time. Nick didn't really get it. He knew he'd start understanding once he found a girl he liked, but right now, he just didn't have any interest. He liked just sticking with his friends and with Jeff.

"Well, I love you." Nick looked to him with eyebrows raised, and Jeff held up his petal and let it flutter away. "I love you not." He teased, and Nick rolled his eyes, pulling off a petal.

"I hate you."

"That's not how this works!" Jeff laughed, pulling the dandelion away from him. "You hate me not."

They got to the last petal, grappling back and forth, until Nick picked it. "I guess I hate you not."

"Victory." Jeff smiled, tossing the stem high.

They sat on the steps until it started getting dark out, and then Nick biked home. He really didn't want the summer to end. Right now, everything was perfect. What if seventh grade wasn't?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three, late, but it's here ((:**

 **I don't own Glee, blah blah.**

* * *

"Please try out for the soccer team. Please. Please? Please!" Jeff had been at it for almost an hour, badgering Nick to join everything he was involved in. Which was a lot. When seventh grade started, Jeff continued on the soccer team, as well as starting choir and drama club. Nick hadn't even known Jeff was interested in those things.

"I'm bad at soccer." Nick shook his head, eating his lunch and looking around the cafeteria. It didn't feel much different than sixth grade. Jeff was a little different, though. He was taller, taller than Nick now, which Jeff loved. And he had these newfound passions for dancing and singing and acting, which he also begged Nick to do.

"So? You'll get better at it when you start playing." Jeff stole one of Nick's chips and ate it. "Then join choir. I've heard you sing before, you're good!"

Nick swatted Jeff's hand away. "Not good enough for choir."

Jeff groaned. "Why are you so hard on yourself? Just do it for fun! It doesn't matter if you're good or bad."

Nick wanted to protest again, but Jeff was giving him that look. That look that was too hopeful to say no to. "Fine. Choir. But that's it."

Jeff cheered, drawing the attention of a few neighboring tables. "Yay! You'll love it, I promise."

Nick laughed, sighing. "We'll see." They finished eating, and Nick's thoughts drifted. His parents wouldn't like him in choir. They wouldn't want to drive him to meetings or anything. They probably wouldn't even go to performances or-

"Hey, stop."

Nick broke from his thoughts, seeing Jeff looking at him. "What?"

"Stop overthinking." He squeezed Nick's arm. "It's gonna be fun. And my mom already drives me home from it, she'll drive you, too."

Somehow, Jeff knew exactly what he was thinking. "Thanks." He said softly, gratefully.

Jeff smiled, getting up as the bell rang and tossing their trays. "Sure. I'll see you after school."

Nick waved as they parted ways, feeling a little more optimistic. Jeff was right, don't overthink. Everything would be fine, it was gonna be fun. He did his best to absorb Jeff's optimism and headed to class.

* * *

Choir turned out to be the best part of Nick's day. He looked forward to it now, and wished it was more than three times a week. The teacher was super nice, and he fit in with the group right away, which was rare. And he got solos. A lot. His teacher thought he was really good. That made him want to be even better.

"Let's skip rehearsal today, I got a new videogame and it's so sick." Jeff said, walking alongside him to the choir room.

"No, I want to go, I think we're sounding really good." Nick laughed. "Practice makes perfect, right?"

Jeff groaned. "For once in your life, be a slacker!"

Nick laughed, bumping Jeff's shoulder. "Never."

They entered the room together, greeting the other kids that had already arrived. Rehearsals started quickly, and although Jeff had previously been complaining, he put his all into it anyways.

"Great job, everyone." Their teacher smiled, clapping when they finished their song. She patted Nick on the back. "I can tell you've been working on your solo, hard work pays off." She high-fived him, and his heart swelled. He never heard things like that. He turned to tell Jeff, but he was talking to someone else. Her name was Sadie, Jeff talked to her a lot. Nick didn't really like her, he didn't understand why Jeff talked to her at all.

"Hey, your mom is probably waiting." Nick said to Jeff, smiling at Sadie briefly.

"You can go ahead, I'll be right there." Jeff nodded, barely looking away from her.

Nick nodded, leaving the choir room and shaking his head. Whatever. Sadie wasn't that great. He got in Jeff's car, huffing out a breath.

"Everything okay, lovebug?" Ms. Sterling turned from her spot in the drivers seat, raising her eyebrows at the sound of Nick's sigh. She insisted Nick call her Amy.

"Yes." He said reflexively. But then he looked at her. "I just don't get it. All the boys in my grade are obsessed with girls."

Amy smiled softly. "That's because they're just discovering them." She laughed. "You've always been more grown up, though."

Nick shrugged. "I guess. But still. I think Jeff likes this girl in our choir."

"Is she nice?"

"She's not a good singer. And she talks a lot." He quieted, feeling guilty. He realized that she was pretty nice. But he still didn't like her, and couldn't figure out why. "She's nice, it seems like. Jeff only makes friends with people that are nice."

Amy smiled, looking out the window as Jeff came out of the school. "You two will still be best friends, no matter what."

"I know." He played with his hands. "Thank you." He said quickly, before Jeff got in. Talking to his own mother about this stuff was hard. But Amy listened, and she didn't treat him like a kid that needed direction.

Amy smiled at him in the rearview mirror. "Anytime, Nick."

Jeff got in the passenger side, closing the door and turning the radio on instantly. "Hey mom." He leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly. That always made Nick smile. Not a lot of boys did that.

"Hi, sweetie. Nick tells me you've made a new friend." Amy smiled, pulling out of the school's lot.

"Well, yeah. Sadie." Jeff smiled. It looked like he was blushing too. Yeah, Nick really didn't understand. As Jeff chattered on to his mother about Sadie, Nick sank in his seat and looked out the window. He wished he could start getting it, and seeing what all the other boys saw. He felt left out. And this couldn't be normal, why didn't he work like the rest of them? Maybe he had to take initiative, not wait to feel something. Really, he had no idea how this was supposed to work. But he'd do it. He just wanted to fit in.

The Sterlings dropped Nick off at his house, and he trudged inside, dropping his bag by the door even though he knew he wasn't supposed to, and going into the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. His father always said to take the bull by the horns. So he forced himself to smile, then texted a girl from his class about the current lesson, and asked if she would tutor him. He didn't need any help, but it was all he could think of. Maybe he'd like her like Jeff liked Sadie.

He got into bed that night and stared at his ceiling. "Come on, Nick. Stop being like this. Just like her." He muttered. He let the words hang in the air, then shut off his lamp and closed his eyes tight. He wouldn't be an outcast again.

* * *

"I didn't think you needed tutoring in science, you're usually the only one that answers the questions."

Nick laughed a little, sitting with her at the library table. Her name was Cara, she was pretty good at science too. And she had a nice smile. "I don't know, this lesson has been a little tougher to understand."

She nodded, opening her textbook to their current unit. "Yeah, it does get a little confusing."

Nick nodded, scanning the textbook pages. It was actually pretty easy. But he sat with her for an hour, letting her explain the topics and watching her draw diagrams in the margins. He glanced at the clock. "We should probably get ready to go. My mom doesn't want me to be late." She was probably going to be late picking him up from the school anyways, but Cara didn't need to know that.

"Oh, sure. Did I help at all?" She smiled.

Nick copied her smile. No, she didn't help, he was still just as confused. Just not about science. "Yeah, thanks. Maybe we could make this a regular thing. Doing homework together." He ventured, and Cara nodded.

"I would like that."

"Good." He stood, picking up his bag. "Great. I'll see you in class." He waved, leaving and taking a deep breath. He liked her. But not the way he wanted to like her. He got in his mother's car, buckling his seatbelt. "Thanks for picking me up."

She smiled, leaning over to adjust his lapels. "I'm proud of you for getting the tutoring. Staying on top of your studies is very important. You'll want to be top of your class someday, like Michael was."

Nick nodded, turning on the radio to the station he and Jeff usually listened to. "Right."

His mom turned the volume down low. "Your father and I were talking, you should join a sport. It's important to be well-rounded, something athletic will be good for you. You'll learn team skills, leadership qualities."

Nick fiddled with the automatic lock on his door. "I don't know. I already have choir. And I'm not really interested in any sport."

"Well, choir can be something on the side, but it won't benefit you the way that a sport will. I'm not saying you have to do it, but it's something to think about." She shrugged.

Nick sighed under his breath. Something to think about almost always translated to something he had to do. "Okay, I'll think about it."

"Perfect." She was back to smiling, and they reached home a while later, Nick getting out of the car and heading inside to his room. He took out his phone and quickly texted Jeff.

To: Jeff 4:38 PM

Let's hang out, I can bring COD.

To: Nick 4:40 PM

my xbox is broken ):

To: Jeff 4:43 PM

Let's hang out anyways

To: Nick 4:46 PM

ugh fine, i guess

To Nick 4:47 PM

btw that was sarcasm, come over!

Nick laughed, leaving the house and grabbing his bike. Maybe he'd do a sport with him next season, it would give them an excuse to hang out when it started getting too cold to bike there. It was already getting sort of cold, it was late October. But he didn't mind, he wore gloves and it wasn't that bad. It was definitely worth it.

He reached Jeff's in record time, leaning his bike against the house and hurrying inside, where it was warm.

"16 minutes, you're slacking."

Nick pushed Jeff's shoulder, rolling his eyes. "That's nearly my fastest time!"

"Your fastest time was 15:33." Jeff pointed to the chart on the fridge. They'd been keeping track for a while, just to see if Nick could beat his own times. He was too competitive to not strive to go faster every trip.

"Well, it was cold out today." Nick laughed, kicking off his shoes. He hadn't even changed out of his uniform before he came over, Jeff was in sweatpants and one of their elementary school tees, that miraculously still fit despite his growth spurt.

"No excuses." Jeff tossed him a soda and jumped onto the couch, moving one of his little brothers, Jason, out of the way. Nick sat next to him, leaning back on the cushions. Jeff's furniture was all mismatched, something that would've given Nick's mother a stroke, but Nick loved. He and Jeff both fit on the giant, plush couch when they had sleepovers, and there were a bunch of quilts over it with funny pictures.

"Hey, I have a question." Nick sat up a bit in his seat, Jeff looking away from channel surfing.

"What?"

"Do you like Sadie? Like like her?" He blushed, laughing a little at how stupid and childish it sounded.

"Like like her?" Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "I mean, I don't know. She's pretty. I like talking to her a lot." Nick stayed silent, waiting for the answer. Jeff bit his lip. "I don't know. How can you tell if you like someone?"

"I was hoping I could ask you the same question." Nick muttered. But he was strangely reassured. Jeff didn't know what he was doing either. Maybe nobody did.

Jeff laughed softly, putting his soda on the coffeetable and leaning back. "I guess you just… know when you know."

Nick nodded, finishing his drink and considering Jeff's words. "What if you never know?"

This stumped Jeff for a second. "Well, it's not like we'll be alone. We'll have eachother."

Nick felt significantly less confused. Jeff was a constant in his life. He always would be. He wasn't confused about that. "We'll have eachother." He lifted his empty can in a faux toast. The rest, he'd worry about later.

* * *

"Thanks for helping me out."

Cara smiled, shrugging. "No big deal. You help me, too."

Nick laughed softly. He was starting to consider Cara a good friend. They always studied in the library on Thursday afternoons, because Nick didn't have choir. "Well, good."

They worked together silently, Nick humming occasionally. "Can you believe we only have a few weeks left of seventh grade?" Cara said suddenly, closing her notebook and smiling.

"I definitely can, I hope eighth grade goes fast. Highschool seems so much better." Nick laughed, shaking his head.

"Are you going to Dalton?" Cara tilted her head.

"Hopefully." He nodded. "Country Day?"

She nodded. "Yup."

"Maybe we can keep hanging out. Even if we don't study together." Nick offered, shrugging. He liked having her as a friend.

Cara raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah." Nick cleared his throat. "I mean, unless you don't want to."

"No, I want to. Is it… is it like a date?"

Nick breathed in, straightening a little. "That would be- I mean, sure. It can be." He was a little thrown off. He hadn't been thinking about it that way. But why not? Cara was a good friend. Maybe she could be his girlfriend, he could start to like her in that way.

"Oh." Cara smiled, blushing and tucking her hair behind her ear. "I thought… nevermind."

"What?" Nick smiled, crossing his arms.

"I just always thought you were gay."

The smile slipped from Nick's face in an instant. "What?"

"It's not bad, I just- I didn't know." She covered, but Nick was barely listening. He wasn't gay. That was impossible, why would she even say something like that?

"I'm not gay." Saying the word aloud even felt strange, scary. He didn't even know anyone gay, let alone himself. "Why did you think that?"

She played with her pencil. "I don't know. You weren't chasing girls like the other boys have been. And you're always with Jeff-"

"He's my best friend." Nick interjected, and he felt himself getting red.

"Okay, yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't know." Cara looked as uncomfortable as he was, if that was even possible. Nick quickly put his textbooks into his backpack.

"I have to go."

"Nick-"

He left, his mind racing. He wasn't gay. He had never kissed a boy or anything like that, he'd never even thought about that. Did everyone think the same thing that Cara did? How could they all know something Nick didn't know?

He caught himself quickly. He did know. He wasn't gay. That just wouldn't make any sense. He sat down on a bench outside the school, his mother wouldn't be there for a while. Being alone with this new thought was terrifying. But what else could he do? He'd never tell anyone that she said that. Not even his parents. Not even Jeff.

By the time his mother arrived, he'd composed himself, and got in the car, doing his best at making their usual small talk. If his attempt was flimsy, his mother didn't notice, and for once he was grateful for her inattentiveness. He'd keep pushing this down until he forgot about it, soon it wouldn't even matter. He wouldn't even let himself think about it.

* * *

A few weeks after what happened in the library, Nick found that not thinking about it was impossible. Seventh grade ended, and he barely noticed, his mind was so preoccupied. He couldn't leave the idea alone.

One night, a few days after summer started, he took a few deep breaths and warred with himself before sitting down at his computer and typing in, 'gay'.

 _gay, adj._

 _(of a person, especially a man) homosexual._

He shook his head and tried another.

 _homosexual, adj._

 _(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex._

He read the definition a few times, then leaned back in his desk chair, digesting. He was trying to make it simpler in his head, make it not so scary and unknown. Defining it helped him, he'd always strayed to the more literal and logical side of things. He scrolled through endless information, from gay celebrities to biological evidence to coming out stories. Without even realizing, he stayed on the computer for hours, and when he looked at the clock it was past midnight.

He powered off his computer and rubbed his eyes, tired from the harsh light of his screen. He crawled into bed and looked at the ceiling. For the first time, he let his mind wander without forcing it to think a certain way.

What if… he _was_ gay?

He allowed the idea to roll around in his mind for a minute, not knowing how he felt about it. Mainly scared. But as he had been for weeks, he was fixated on the topic. Switching to a new perspective was like gassing a flame.

His mind seemed to reach everywhere after he let himself think just the one question. Did it explain why he never had crushes on girls? What was it like to kiss a boy? What was having a boyfriend like? Was there anyone gay in his town at all?

He fell asleep with these thoughts, feeling confused and disoriented. He didn't know how to deal with this, still. One more question was circling his mind. What if he never figured it out?

* * *

"Babysitting is the worst." Jeff hoisted Jason onto his shoulders with a grunt, giving him yet another piggyback around the yard.

Nick laughed, watching from his seat on Jeff's back deck, Jeff's other little brother, Aaron, by his side. "It's not that bad."

"That's because you're sitting pretty on the porch, not being subjected to manual labor." Jeff let Jason fall to the grass, the boy landing with a laugh.

"Oh, get over yourself."

Jeff put his hands on his hips. "You try it!"

It was around ninety degrees out, the kind of weather that was just so hot and thick that doing anything just seemed entirely too hard. But that was August in Ohio. "I'm all set, thanks."

Jeff grabbed the hose from the side of the house, waving it menacingly. "You look like you need to cool off."

"Jeffrey Sterling, don't even think about it." Nick quickly got to his feet, increasing the distance between them.

Jeff grinned. "Beg for mercy."

"I'd rather die."

"Say no more." Jeff turned the water on, pointing the hose at Nick and charging at him.

Nick laughed, frantically dodging the stream. "Evil!"

They chased eachother around the yard until they were drenched in sweat and the heat was too much. Nick let Jeff catch him, he wanted the cold water so badly. Jeff acted like it was a victory still, tackling Nick to the ground. "Got you!"

Nick groaned as he laughed, trying to control the water. "You're sweaty and disgusting, get off."

"So are you, it's fucking hot outside."

"Your brothers can hear you!"

"Believe me, they've heard worse." Jeff finally gave up the hose, collapsing beside Nick and catching his breath, wiping his forehead.

Nick ran the water over himself, then Jeff, who hummed gratefully. They'd spent the whole summer together, just like last year. Now they started their last year of middle school in just a week. Time felt like it was tumbling by him.

In the day, at least. During the day, he had fun, and he hung out with Jeff, and he occupied his mind all the time. But nighttime wasn't so easy, and it was getting harder to deal with all that he was feeling and thinking about. Which was bothersome, because wasn't it supposed to be getting easier?

It wouldn't start getting easier until he answered the question that kept him up those nights. Was he gay? He was more open to questioning it now, but answering it was different. Answering it was final and real and he wasn't ready. He'd keep living in this grey area for now. Here, he didn't have to face any truths he didn't want to hear yet.

"Hey, are you having a heatstroke?" Jeff's waving hand in front of his face pulled him back into the now, and he rolled his eyes, bending the hose to stop the water.

"More like suffering from over exhaustion." He released the block to spray Jeff with the water, snickering as the blonde spluttered.

"Trouble sleeping?" Jeff dragged himself to his feet to shut off and wind up the hose.

Nick shrugged. "Yeah."

"Nightmares?" Jeff wiggled his fingers and imitated a ghost booing, which prompted Nick to trip him.

"Those would be preferable, because they would mean I was falling asleep at all."

Jeff fell to the ground and huffed, rubbing his arm where he landed. "Damn, seems like you need a good lullaby."

"I'd love to hear you give it a shot." Nick gestured for him to begin.

Jeff laughed. "I can't do it on the spot."

Nick shook his head and smiled. "Then I guess I'm on the road to insomnia. And it's your fault."

"Fine, fine. Let me think." Jeff crossed his arms behind his head as he thought, and Nick watched him, waiting for the song. "Ever heard of a little song called _Ignition_?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Not lullaby material."

"But it's the remix!"

Nick flipped him off, and Jeff grabbed his hand, folding his finger back down. Nick pulled his hand away quickly before he thought or felt anything he shouldn't. "I should head back soon, I have to go to some auction thing tonight."

"Say you're sick and can't go."

"And have the public think that the Duval family is in anything less than perfect health all the time? Definitely not." Nick mocked his mother's voice.

Jeff laughed at the impression. "If your dad wins, are you gonna be Ohio royalty?" He teased.

Nick's dad was running for state office, something that required attending a lot of events dressed nicely and watching his mother coordinate parties and dinners like it was her job. Maybe it was, Nick didn't really know. Often, business affairs were not topics of discussion with the 'children'. "Oh, sure. Nick Duval, Prince of Ohio." He made a face.

Jeff shrugged. "It's got a nice ring to it, you have to admit."

Nick laughed, getting to his feet and pushing back his wet hair. "Then let's hope he wins."

"You're Ohio royalty regardless." Jeff teased, blowing a kiss, which Nick pretended to wave away.

"Uh huh. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Jeff nodded, sitting up and pulling off his soaked shirt. "Tomorrow."

Nick might have stared one second too long. He might have tripped a little on his way out of the yard. Shaking his head, he got on his bike and pedaled hard on the way home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4, this one is pretty long, bear with me. Eighth grade is a big year for Nick.**

 **Don't own Glee ((:**

* * *

"Now, for this project you'll need a partner."

Jeff turned around in his seat to face Nick, who saluted. They worked together every project, but confirmation didn't hurt. The teacher droned on at the front of the class, and usually Nick was good at paying close attention and taking good notes, but not today. Because today was important. Today he heard back from Dalton.

Most of the boys at their middle school enrolled last year, but there was a lengthy selection process that carried through to now, when it was late September and school was back in session. Dalton was expensive, and prestigious, and a few other choice words his parents loved, like 'enriching' and 'classy'. Not everyone got in, and it was an honor to be selected. Nick wanted it badly.

The bell finally rang to dismiss them, and Nick waited for Jeff to walk with him to the bus. "We're gonna kill that project, I already have a million ideas." Jeff grinned, and Nick half nodded. Jeff raised his eyebrows. "Now is the part where you ask me what they are, Duval, then proceed to appreciate my creative genius."

"Sorry, I can't stop thinking about Dalton." He shook his head. "What if I don't get in?"

"Please, why wouldn't you get in?" Jeff laughed. "You're crazy smart. And the school will want people like your family, Prince of Ohio."

Nick laughed. "What about you? You'll get in for sure."

Jeff's smiled wavered a bit. "I don't think so."

"Are you kidding?" Jeff's grades were crazy high, and he worked hard to get everything done. He liked creating projects like the one they were just assigned, and he was involved with a lot at the school. "If I get in, you'll definitely get in."

Jeff breathed in and shrugged. "Even if I did, we can't afford it."

Nick nearly stopped short in the middle of the hall. "I can't go there without you."

"You might have to." Jeff mumbled. He was clearly upset about this, Nick didn't know why he didn't mention it before. "It's too expensive. Mom is already working extra shifts just to pay for Jason and Aaron and I to have new clothes."

Jeff never talked about this stuff, and Nick pulled him to the side of the hallway, out of the way of traffic. "My family could lend yours the money, it's not like we don't have it to spare."

His friend's face went red. "No, I wasn't- fishing for handouts, Nick, I don't need the money. I just won't go."

"It would be a gift-"

"It would be charity." Jeff cut him off, stepping away from him. "We're getting by just fine. Don't worry about it."

Nick swallowed, knowing he'd struck a nerve. "I'm sorry, I just thought-"

"Whatever. Thanks for the offer." Jeff said flatly, and then disappeared into the busy hallway. Nick watched after him, his chest tight. Was that a fight? They never fought. Not in a real way.

He trudged down the hallway a few minutes later. He didn't want to go to Dalton if Jeff didn't go. The thought of going to different schools made his heart ache. His excitement to check the mail diminished, and dread replaced it, as he sulked on the bus ride home.

By the time he reached his house, he didn't want to check for the letter at all. He stood in front of his mailbox, staring at it. It took a few minutes to make himself open it, and sure enough, the letter was there, with the official seal and everything. He pulled it out, feeling the weight of the expensive paper in his hand, and slit open the envelope. He didn't even bother to wait until he went inside. He unfolded the letter and scanner it quickly.

 _To the Parents or Guardians of Nicholas Duval,_

 _It is our pleasure to inform you that Nicholas has been selected to continue his learning at Dalton Academy, as a part of the Class of 2021. It is considered a great honor to be chosen-_

Nick folded the letter again and shoved it in the envelope. He got in. His parents weren't home. There was no one to tell. He got on his bike reflexively, his backpack still on and the letter still in hand. Could he go to Jeff's? Would Jeff want to hear it?

He was biking in the direction of Jeff's house already, mental autopilot kicking in. He reached Jeff's house and knocked on his door by instinct alone. Jeff opened it, with a huge smile on his face and an identical letter in his hand.

"You're… happy."

Jeff didn't say anything, throwing his arms around him with enough force to knock him on his back on their front porch, Jeff falling with him in a fit of breathless laughter. "I got in."

Nick barely processed what Jeff was saying, hands tangled in Jeff's shirt from their fall. "I thought it didn't matter because it was too expen-"

"Scholarship. I got in on a scholarship, full ride." Jeff was still holding him tight, his happiness audible.

"Oh my- Jeff! A scholarship!" He repeated dumbly, Jeff's wide grin was contagious. They were going to Dalton together.

Jeff finally let go of him, but stayed on top of him from the fall, snatching Nick's letter from his hand. "You're in, right? Of course you're in, we're in!"

Nick laughed, laying underneath him and looking up. Suddenly, a thought entered his head without him allowing it to. Watching Jeff smile like that, so close to him… he wanted to kiss him. The thought quickly filled up his brain and clouded everything else in his mind. He wanted to kiss his best friend. He wanted to kiss Jeff Sterling.

After he first thought of it, it was all he could think about. He couldn't look at Jeff the same. He couldn't stop his gaze from falling to Jeff's mouth, and how had he never noticed how nice his eyes were? His smile made his heart beat in double time, his laugh made it triple. Why was he just noticing all these things now?

By the end of the week, he was realizing that he wasn't noticing them for the first time. He was just putting things into this new context. It was both terrifying and oddly therapeutic. He could label these things now, he knew why he felt them. But fear kicked in when he thought about feeling them in the first place.

He had a crush on his best friend. And that was never, ever going to work out in his favor. Even if Jeff wasn't in the picture, there'd be no hope for him. He couldn't come out or anything like that. He couldn't even come out to himself. Since realizing his feelings for Jeff, Nick looked in his mirror everyday and tried to make himself come out, out loud. And he couldn't. He didn't think he ever would be able to make himself say it.

* * *

Sometime close to Christmas, Nick watched Jeff make snow angels in his yard for hours. "The key is, when you get up, you have to jump out of the angel shape, or there will be ugly footprints all around it." Jeff leaped out of the indentation of his snow angel, landing ungracefully in a snow drift.

Nick laughed, rubbing his gloved hands together as he watched from the steps. "Amazing, your work belongs in the finest of museums."

Jeff came over and yanked Nick's hat over his eyes. "Good enough for the Duval Museum?"

Nick pushed his hat back up, retaliating by pulling off Jeff's scarf and tossing it into the snow. "No, too tacky. Sorry."

"I'll have to keep working, then." Jeff laughed, grabbing his scarf and snapping it at him. Nick waved him off, watching as Jeff started rolling snowballs. His cheeks were all ruddy, it looked nice with his eyes and his light hair. He tried not to look for too long.

"Ask for anything nice for Christmas?" Nick asked, rolling a few snowballs of his own.

Jeff shrugged. "Not really."

"Your mom will get you something good, she knows what you like."

"Santa's not real?" Jeff gasped, widening his eyes.

Nick tossed a snowball at him. "Oops."

Jeff laughed, throwing one back, then swearing as Nick dodged it and hit the house's front door. "I can't believe Santa's not real, my dreams are crushed." Jeff teased, putting his hand over his forehead melodramatically.

"Just wait 'til you hear about the Easter Bunny."

"Don't even start!" Jeff whipped another snowball, this one with more force, hitting Nick in the chest.

Nick brushed it off, looking up at the overcast sky. It was getting dark, night always fell faster in the winter and it was easy to lose track of time with Jeff. "I gotta go, my brother flies in early tomorrow for the holidays and I need to be 'well-rested' to give him a 'proper greeting'." He air quoted as he stood.

Jeff shook his head. "No, sleepover, riding your bike over ice in the dark is dangerous."

"Thrilling." Nick teased, but Jeff was being genuine.

"I always get scared you'll get hurt, biking here isn't the same as it is in the summer."

Nick shrugged. What could he say? He couldn't stop coming to Jeff's, he wanted to see him. He didn't really care if it was dark or cold or anything. "I'll be fine."

"If you stay over you can just go home early tomorrow, when it's light." Jeff pushed him towards the door gently, and Nick sighed, but smiled to himself.

"Fine."

Jeff smiled, pushing ahead of him to go inside. "Couch is mine, you get the floor!"

Nick laughed, following him in and taking off all his layers at the door. "No way, I did the floor last time."

"I called it first, fair and square." Jeff gathered blankets and pillows from his bedroom and brought them down the hall to the living room, so they could watch TV as they fell asleep.

"Well that's bull, I'm sleeping on the couch."

"So am I." Jeff challenged, hopping on the couch, Nick quick to follow.

They laughed as they adjusted, limbs tangled in eachother's. They ended up with their heads on opposite sides of the couch, their legs overlapping in the middle. They were both taller than they'd been since they'd both fit comfortably, but neither of them moved. He closed his eyes, even though the lights were still on and the TV was loud. He liked the way it felt to have Jeff lay close to him. He let himself think that without pushing the thought away. "Night, Nick."

"Night, Jeff."

* * *

 _I'm gay._

Nick stared at his reflection. Just say it. He couldn't. Frustrated, he studied the pictures that were stuck in the frame of his mirror.

A photo of him and his family at some state event. He wasn't smiling in it. A photo of him on his first day of middle school. Not smiling. There were only two pictures he was smiling in. One was a group photo of him and the choir, where he was at the front, doing some solo he didn't remember the name of. And the other was a photo of him and Jeff that Jeff's mother had taken, where neither of them were looking at the camera. They were looking at eachother, laughing at something, sitting on Jeff's front steps.

Nick faced the mirror again. Say it. He opened his mouth, but nothing. He took all the pictures down from his mirror and left.

"Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, all that good stuff." Jeff was at Nick's door with a wrapped present, a hat pulled over his ears and red mittens on his hands.

"Christmas is two days from now. And I told you not to get me anything." Nick crossed his arms, but his smile persisted.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you got something for me, right?" Jeff tilted his head. Nick couldn't argue with that. He stepped aside to let Jeff in.

"I feel like I haven't been here in forever." Jeff hung his scarf and pulled off his hat, leaving his hair a mess. Nick reached over and tried fixing it, but Jeff bumped his hand away. "Leave it, it's exposure therapy for your mom."

Nick laughed, dropping his hands. Jeff was right, he'd been trying to make Jeff look more presentable for his mother. "Alright, just know she's gonna mention it."

Jeff laughed and passed Nick his present. "I can deal with it."

Speaking of, his mother came out then, in a dress and heels. "Oh, Nick, your father and I are going out tonight. You really shouldn't have company when we're not here. Hello, Jeffrey." She added as an afterthought.

Jeff waved. Nick sighed. "Mike is home, he'll make sure we don't burn the house down or anything."

His brother had flown in a few days ago, and was staying for a few weeks. "Fine, but try not to bother him. He's very busy."

"He always is." Nick headed upstairs with Jeff quickly, taking him into his room.

"Am I gonna meet the famous Duval brother?" Jeff asked, once they'd closed the bedroom door. Nick sighed and sat on the bed.

"If he can make time in his busy schedule."

Jeff nodded, joining him on the bed. Nick hadn't told Jeff much about him, but he was sure he could fill in the blanks. He was the perfect brother, and Nick was being trained to be his photocopy. "Well, open your present. But first appreciate how well I wrapped it."

He laughed, turning it over in his hands to study the wrap job. "Wow, this is impressive. For you." He teased, and Jeff flipped him off.

"I'll take your present back, watch yourself."

Nick smiled and unwrapped it, having no idea what it could be. When he finally lifted the lid, his eyebrows raised. It was a T-shirt, with the middle school's logo on it. All over it, there were choir kids' signatures. "What…"

"I had everyone sign it. So you remember where you started when you become a famous singer." Jeff laughed, biting his lip and watching Nick's reaction.

He read through all the signatures, shaking his head slowly. "This is…" Incredibly thoughtful. The best gift he'd ever gotten. "I love it." He leaned in, pulling Jeff into a hug. Jeff laughed, hugging back.

"I'm glad you like it. You're really talented. You're gonna go places. Don't forget us."

Nick laughed, hugging him a little tighter. Choir might fade from his memory years from now, some of these signatures he barely recognized. But Jeff's stood out, front and center. He'd never forget him. "Thank you, Jeff."

They finally parted, Nick getting up to hang the shirt in his closet and retrieve Jeff's present. "Close your eyes."

Jeff did so, laughing. "I swear, if you drop a snake in my lap or something-"

"It's not that." Nick laughed, bringing it over to the bed. It was a guitar. It was secondhand, Nick knew Jeff wouldn't accept something too expensive. Jeff used to have one, Nick remembered it, but it had gotten damaged somehow, and Jeff always put off repairing it because of the expense. He placed the instrument in front of Jeff on the bed; it wasn't wrapped, but there was a bow around the neck. "Okay, open."

Jeff opened his eyes slowly, then opened his mouth. "Nick."

"It was secondhand at a music store, it wasn't pricey or anything." Nick hurried to fill in. "But I just wanted you to have it. You have musical talent, too. You need to have something to hone it on." Jeff wiped his eyes quickly, and Nick's heart sank. He'd offended him. "I'm sorry, I'll return it if you want, I only-"

Jeff laughed through his tears. "They're happy tears. I'm happy."

"Oh." He breathed out, smile growing again. "Okay, good, you need to start playing me things all the time."

He untied the bow gently, lifting the guitar into his lap and strumming a few chords, tuning it by ear. "Anything you want." Jeff smiled, and Nick couldn't stop watching the way his fingers moved over the strings. He wished he could reach over and hold his hand. He wanted to feel the calluses from the rough strings on Jeff's hand in his own. Thoughts like those still startled him a bit, they entered his head so automatically. But he didn't try to stop them anymore.

"Anything I want? That's risky, I have a lot of song requests." He smiled, and Jeff laughed.

"I can work with that."

"My first request is for you to play your favorite song." Nick grinned.

Jeff plucked the strings as he contemplated. Finally, he chose, and he began playing _Bulletproof_. It was a slowed down, acoustic version. "Been there, done that, messed around, I'm having fun; don't put me down. I'll never let you sweep me off my feet." He started softly, keeping his eyes on his hands.

 _Burning bridges shore to shore  
I'll break away from something more  
I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap_

 _Been there, done that, messed around_  
 _I'm having fun; don't put me down_  
 _I'll never let you sweep me off my feet_

 _This time, baby, I'll be, bulletproof. This time, baby, I'll be, bulletproof._

 _I won't let you turn around_  
 _And tell me now I'm much too proud_  
 _To walk away from something when it's dead_

 _Do, do, do your dirty words_  
 _Come out to play when you are heard_  
 _There's certain things that should be left unsaid_

 _Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch_  
 _And life's too short for me to stop_  
 _Oh, baby, your time is running out_

 _I won't let you turn around_  
 _And tell me now I'm much too proud_  
 _All you do is fill me up with doubt_

 _This time, baby, I'll be, bulletproof. This time, baby, I'll be, bulletproof._

Nick smiled, listening closely. Jeff had picked up the skill again quickly, and the song sounded great. It was Jeff's favorite for a reason, Nick could see why, after what his friend had been through. He clapped after he finished, Jeff laughing and blushing a little. "I'm a little rusty."

"Not at all." Nick said honestly, playing with the ribbon from the guitar idly.

Jeff smiled and put it down on the bed. "Maybe I'll write you an original. You could be my muse."

It was Nick's turn to blush, but he hid it, getting up to throw the ribbon away. "I'll be waiting for that track to drop."

Jeff laughed, leaning off the bed to pull the ribbon back. "Hey, don't throw that out."

Nick let him take it. "Why?"

"Because I want it. You gave it to me with the guitar." He teased. "It's pretty."

"You can't really do anything with it." Nick shrugged, and Jeff imitated the gesture.

"I like it 'cause it's from you and reminds me of you."

He ran his hand through his hair and forced a smile. He wished Jeff meant that in the way he wanted him to. "Fair enough."

Jeff tied the ribbon around the neck of the guitar again and got up. "Let's go eat, is there any gingerbread?"

Nick laughed and went downstairs with him. "No, it's gross."

"Anything Christmas-themed?"

"You're a dork."

"You're a scrooge."

"I'll take your present back." Nick copied what Jeff had said earlier, Jeff pushing him with a laugh.

"You'd have to pry it from my cold, dead hands."

Nick grinned and grabbed his shoulders. "Watch your back."

Jeff laughed and ran down the stairs, Nick right behind him.

* * *

He found himself in front of the mirror again, shortly after Christmas. It was becoming routine. He'd sit down, stare at his reflection, think about saying the words. Then he'd open his mouth, stay silent, and think about why he couldn't say the words.

"I'm-" He'd cut off, his stomach lurching. He'd triple check to make sure he was alone. A few more deep breaths. But he still couldn't do it.

Until one day, he did. He sat in front of the mirror, swallowed, and met his own gaze.

"I'm gay."

He covered his mouth, surprised at himself, and hearing the words for the first time. Tears filled his eyes instantly, and he cried for a long time. He didn't even know what emotions he was feeling, too many of them were entirely new to him.

It was an odd feeling, to say the words out loud. Weeks later, he still had mixed feelings. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he'd answered what he'd been most confused about. He'd faced the truth, and though he wasn't entirely comfortable with it yet, he could admit it. But at the same time, he felt at a loss for what to do next. He wasn't planning on telling anyone, or doing anything to give it away. So his secret just sat with him.

That was okay for now, it was enough.

* * *

It got warm out again quickly, it seemed, like winter seemed to thaw especially fast this year. In the spring, middle school was already feeling like a memory, though he hadn't even left it yet.

"Dances are so stupid. Why do we have a dance, just to mark the end of eighth grade?" Nick vented to Jeff as they walked from Jeff's house to the park with his brothers, who were sitting in the wagon he was towing.

Jeff laughed. "Don't be a downer, it's gonna be fun."

Nick rolled his eyes. "No possible way."

"When did you become the antagonist of a coming of age film?" Jeff teased, bumping Nick's arm. "There's gonna be music, food, and it's our last chance to see everyone that isn't going to Dalton."

He shrugged. "Bad music, bad food, and it's not like I'm gonna miss those people."

Jeff stopped walking, dropping the wagon handle to turn to Nick and grip his shoulders. "Enough of this moping." He grinned, and Nick couldn't help but smile as well.

"But-"

"No buts. You're gonna go to this stupid dance and listen to stupid music and you're gonna have fun." Jeff shook him, laughing. "Who are you planning on asking?"

He took Jeff's hands off his shoulders, laughing a little. "Do I have to take anyone?"

"No." Jeff conceded. "But I know a bunch of girls that would love to go with you."

"Liar."

"I have never told a lie!" Jeff put his hand over his heart dramatically, to which Nick raised an eyebrow to. "Fine, I have stretched the truth a bit in the past. But I'm serious, what's not to love about Nick Duval?"

Nick blushed, putting his hands in his pockets. "A lot."

"Wrong again. You're full of great qualities." Jeff ticked them off his fingers. "You're a good singer, you're nice, you're generous, you have really nice eyes-"

Nick stopped listening, glancing to Jeff as he spoke. Jeff didn't mean it like that, he knew. It was just an observation. But it still made him wish harder that there was any chance Jeff felt the same way about him as Nick did. "Okay, enough, I get it." He laughed, shaking his head. "But still."

Jeff sighed and smiled. "You're a heartbreaker, Prince of Ohio." He jostled Nick, and he pushed back with a laugh.

"Will you ever let that nickname die?"

"Never." Jeff grinned and dodged Nick's grip. Nick picked up the wagon handle, continuing to the park with them. Jeff kicked a rock as they walked. "I think I'll ask Sadie. To the dance."

Nick breathed in and shrugged. "Hm. That'll be nice." He mumbled, Jeff not catching on to how _not_ nice it would be.

"Yeah." Jeff smiled, ruffling Aaron's hair.

"Oooh, Jeff has a girlfriend!" Jason singsonged, and Jeff laughed.

"I do not. Not yet." Not yet. That was a little harder to fake a smile over. They reached the park, Aaron and Jason scrambling out of the wagon to go play. Nick sat on the bench. "Too old to play at the park?" Jeff put his hands on his hips.

"A little bit."

"It was a trick question, you're never too old to play at the park." Jeff pulled Nick to his feet and dragged him to the swings. "Push me." Jeff sat on a swing, and Nick laughed.

"You're such a child-"

"Get over yourself and push me!" Jeff swung his legs, until Nick finally sighed and began pushing him on the swing.

"You're high maintenance, you know that?"

Jeff only laughed, swinging higher and higher, until Nick couldn't push him anymore. "Thanks."

"Don't jump off." Nick warned, Jeff still laughing.

"I won't."

Nick didn't believe him. "You're gonna break your leg."

"I won't."

Nick watched Jeff gain more momentum, sighing. "You're gonna jump off, aren't you?"

"Yeah, definitely." Jeff smiled, and Nick stepped aside to give him space.

"Any last words?"

"I am not the least afraid to die." Jeff let go of the swing chains, sprawling in the air at a height that made Nick's heart speed up. He landed first on his feet, but toppled forward from the force, faceplanting in the grass.

Nick stifled a laugh, going to him and leaning down. "You good?"

"Great." Jeff rolled onto his back, breathless with laughter and grass stains on his knees.

"Interesting last words."

"They were Charles Darwin's last words." Jeff smiled, still short of breath.

"And how do you know that?" Nick laughed.

"I know lots of things." Jeff pointed to his own foot. "Like, my ankle is definitely broken."

"Jesus." Nick shook his head and kneeled beside him. "I know I shouldn't say I told you so, but." He took off Jeff's shoe and grimaced. His ankle was already swelling. "How are you calm right now?"

"Adrenaline?" Jeff shrugged, glancing to his ankle and making a face. "It shouldn't bend that way."

"No, not at all." Nick breathed and braced himself, then helped Jeff up, letting his friend lean on him and having him sit in the wagon.

"Is Jeff okay?" Aaron yelled from across the park.

"He'll be okay. We're gonna bring him home though, let's do the park another day." Nick motioned for them to come over, and the boys quickly came, heading back to the house with him.

Jeff's ankle swelled more, and his friend was no longer laughing, his face pale. "Why did no one stop me?" He groaned.

"I tried." Nick protested, picking up the speed to Jeff's house. Jeff kept shifting in the wagon, crying out when his foot was moved. "Stop moving, Jeff, we're almost home."

Jeff muttered something, his breathing a little irregular. Finally, they reached the house, and Nick brought Aaron and Jason in, Jeff in the yard. "Amy, Jeff's hurt. His ankle, it looks broken."

Amy turned from where she was washing dishes, and frowned. "Where-"

"He's out in the yard." Nick quickly searched the freezer for an ice pack. "He jumped off a swing at the park and landed wrong."

Amy followed him outside, where they found Jeff pulling himself out of the wagon. "Jeff, easy, stay put." She took his arm, and Nick grabbed the other, wrapping it over his shoulders to support him.

"I'm not spending the summer in a cast, can't we just make a splint and let the bones set by themselves?" Jeff tried to turn back to the house, but Nick turned him towards the car.

"If you didn't want a cast, you shouldn't have jumped off the swing." Nick helped him into the car, Jeff swearing under his breath, Amy either pretending not to hear or just excusing it.

"Now is not the time, Duval." Jeff muttered, sitting beside him in the backseat, squished close so he could stretch his leg out the other direction.

Amy ushered Aaron and Jason to the neighbors' house, then got in the drivers side, heading to the hospital. Jeff rested his head on Nick's shoulder, catching his breath everytime they went over a bump. Nick took his hand, letting Jeff squeeze it. It made his heart speed up, but he pushed the feeling down, it was just about helping Jeff right now.

"Alright, can you walk, Jeff?" Amy asked when they arrived, and Nick shook his head.

"I'll help him in, you can find a parking spot, no worries."

Jeff had started sweating, and looked on the verge of getting sick. Amy promised she'd be right inside, and Nick kept Jeff's arm over his shoulders, leading him into the hospital. "It fucking hurts like hell." Jeff murmured, limping alongside him.

"I figured." He shook his head, sitting him in a waiting room chair and taking the seat next to him. "One of these days, you're gonna do worse than break your ankle, if you keep trying stunts." Nick warned, and Jeff laughed weakly.

"What's life without a little risk?" He leaned on Nick. "I am not the least afraid to die." He repeated, winking.

Nick looked up as Amy entered, going to the front desk to get the forms to fill out. "Do you think it's broken, hun?" She sat next to them to work on the documents, Jeff sighing.

"A little bit."

Jeff was examined by a doctor, which he wouldn't stop complaining about until everyone in the hospital knew he hated the doctors office. Nick just patted his shoulder and rolled his eyes.

Finally, the X-rays came back. "I'm sorry, Mr. Sterling, it seems you've broken your ankle. Fractured your growth plate, specifically."

Jeff crossed his arms, looking at his temporary splint. "So how long am I gonna be casted?"

"Six weeks. Possibly eight. We want to make sure it heals properly, its a major part of your developing bones." The doctor nodded, and Nick took Jeff's hand again, which Jeff squeezed gratefully.

"So I'm in a cast for the whole summer, basically."

The doctor smiled a little sadly. "I'm afraid so. But we can waterproof the cast, and you'll be mobile on your crutches."

Jeff stayed silent, so Nick answered. "Thanks."

"We'll fit his cast now." The doctor went about his work, Nick trying to keep Jeff's attention engaged in something positive as he watched.

"We'll still have fun this summer. Lots of fun. There's stuff we can do you can be laying down for."

Jeff gave him a look that made Nick blush, but was too down to make the joke. "Like what?"

"Like… movie marathons. And we can work on preparing for auditions at Dalton." He nodded, smiling.

Jeff shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"Don't be sad about this summer. I'll make it good for you."

"Alright, now you're begging me to make it dirty." Jeff finally laughed, Nick bumping his arm and smiling.

"There's the Jeff I know."

* * *

By the time the dance came around, Jeff had collected a signature on his cast from just about everyone in the grade. Amy picked Nick up at his house a bit before the event to drive them there.

"Thanks for the ride, Amy." Nick smiled, getting in, careful not to crease his suit. His mother had warned him of creases about a million times.

"No problem, lovebug."

Jeff whistled, moving his casted leg over to make room in the backseat. "I'd say you clean up good, but you're always cleaned up." He laughed.

Nick buckled his seatbelt and flicked Jeff's cast. "Thanks. Not too bad yourself." He smiled.

"Thanks. Red's not my best color, but my tie has to match Sadie's dress, apparently." Jeff adjusted his tie, pulling at the neck a little. He hated wearing it.

"Did she tell you that?"

"Only a thousand times." Jeff laughed, then pointed to the red bow on one of his crutches. "This, however, is the best part of my ensemble."

It was the ribbon from his guitar, and Nick flushed, laughing. "Very nice. Matches perfectly." He found his own signature on Jeff's cast and traced his finger over it. It was just, 'Nick', with a smiley face that Jeff had forced him to add. It was weird, he hadn't really known what to write when Jeff had asked him to sign. Sadie had written a paragraph.

"It really does." Jeff smiled, turning his attention out the window. "I'm pissed I won't be able to dance."

"It'll be stupid music anyways, remember?" Nick laughed.

"I was gonna request some good songs." Jeff sighed dramatically.

Nick smiled and also looked out the window. "You're a drama queen."

Jeff punched his arm. "Please, I am crippled. Show some compassion."

He pretended to jostle his cast. "Oops."

When they finally reached the school, Amy opened Jeff's door for him. "Be careful with your ankle, okay? It'll be crowded in there."

Jeff nodded and kissed her cheek. "No worries, mom."

She gave Nick a quick hug. "Have fun tonight, you two." She smiled, and they headed inside, Nick walking a little slower to keep pace with Jeff.

They entered the gym, and it was decorated like something out of a movie. Streamers and lights and balloons, it was obviously an expensive setup, but that was to be expected from a private middle school. They boys had traded in uniform ties for colored ones, and the girls left their sweaters and skirts in favor of bright dresses. "I can't believe we're not seeing these people again." Jeff tilted his head.

Nick shook his head. "A lot of the boys are going to Dalton. And the girls will go to Country Day, the schools meet up all the time."

"Let me have an end of the world moment." Jeff laughed, and Nick tilted his head.

"And what exactly is that?"

Jeff smiled. "You know. A moment you feel like everything is changing, and nothing will be the same again."

"So… you don't think you're a drama queen?" Nick laughed, and Jeff bumped his crutch against his leg. It was an interesting way of putting it; the end of the world. Your life just suddenly switches.

"Oh my God, there you are." Sadie's voice interrupted his thoughts, and the pair turned to her.

"You look beautiful." Jeff smiled widely. She did. She had on a red dress to match Jeff's color scheme, and it looked silky and soft. She had some makeup on, too.

Sadie returned the smile, kissing Jeff's cheek. "And you look really handsome." She looked to Nick. "You too, I like yellow." She gestured to his tie. Jeff nodded his agreement.

"Yellow is my favorite."

Nick already knew that. "Thanks, Sadie." He smiled, then took a few steps back. "Have fun."

She waved to him, pulling Jeff off somewhere, who was laughing in spite of stumbling on his crutches. Nick sighed watched them go. _Don't get sad. You knew they were gonna go as a couple._ It still hurt, though.

"Nick?"

He turned, and saw Cara. He was surprised, he hadn't seen her all year. A lot had changed since the last time they talked. "Oh, hey."

She smiled a little. "You look nice."

"You too."

They looked at eachother a minute, and then Cara came closer. "Nick, I know it happened last year, but I'm sorry. About what I said. I wasn't thinking, and I miss studying with you-"

Nick cut her off. "It's okay, you were right."

She stopped, tilting her head. "About?"

"I'm- gay." He said it before he lost his nerve. He didn't know why he said it at all, but he just felt compelled to. Nobody else heard, they were out of the way of the crowd, and there was enough chatter and music to mute them from the group.

Cara nodded, then smiled a little. "Do people know?"

"No one knows." He said, shaking his head. Cara nodded again.

"I'm glad you felt like you could tell me. I'm not gonna repeat it." She touched his shoulder, and Nick let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Telling someone felt okay. Good, even.

"Thank you." He smiled a little, and she wrapped him in a hug. That definitely caught him off guard, but he liked it. He hugged back after a second, able to relax.

"Sure." She pulled away and smiled, then reached out her hand. "Wanna dance?"

Nick looked at her hand, then smiled. "I do." He took her hand and walked with her to where it was crowded, and the music _was_ stupid, but they danced anyways, and Jeff was right, he had fun. She was sweet, and a good dancer, and with her he could fit in with everyone else. When he caught Jeff's gaze, he could smile, and Jeff gave him a thumbs up.

He told Cara he'd get her a drink, then went to where Jeff was sitting by the refreshments, crutches in his lap. "Is this an alternate universe? I'm the one dancing and you're the one sitting out?"

Jeff laughed. "If this dumb cast was off, I'd be killing that dancefloor. But you have moves, Duval."

He chuckled and sat next to him. "Why thank you."

"You're definitely in Prince of Ohio mode tonight, dressed like that."

"Aren't I always?" Nick teased, and Jeff nodded.

"You are."

They ended up talking through the next few songs, and he let himself think they came there as a couple. Just for a minute. But reality came in the form of Sadie tugging Jeff back out to dance, and Nick sat back, sipping his drink. He looked around, at all the kids in his grade dancing and talking. Maybe he would miss this. Parts of it, anyways. He had a feeling things would be very different next year. An end of the world moment. He smiled a little to himself and finished his drink, tossing the empty cup. He vaguely remembered something Jeff had said last year, and it felt relevant now, though he couldn't quite place the exact words. But when his gaze landed on Jeff again, he remembered.

 _It's not like we'll be alone. We'll always have eachother._

Yeah, that wouldn't change.

* * *

 **SO that's the end of their time at middle school! High school is definitely going to be a wild ride for these two. We'll also meet a couple characters; It wouldn't be Dalton without Kurt and Blaine, and a handful of other notable Warblers. Stay tuned.**

 **I used the song Bulletproof, by La Roux in this chapter, obviously don't own that one (I wish though).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the wait on this chapter! Hopefully it's worth the wait, it's the longest chapter I've posted by far! Niff start high school here, so with this comes the introduction of the Warblers! Some of them, anyways (:**

 **Enjoy- I don't own Glee!**

* * *

"And remember, your grades are most important. Work hard, don't settle for anything less than A's."

"And don't get into trouble, the last thing we need is something bad reflecting on the family. Especially now with your brother's campaign and all."

Nick half listened to his parents as they rambled on, his attention out the window. Every passing minute brought him closer to Dalton, and every day that summer had made boarding school seem more appealing. If his parents were overbearing before, Michael's run heightened it to at least double. He'd spent most of his summer at functions and galas and other events that were talked about in Ohio's newspaper, and Jeff had made a collage of Nick's face in the printed pictures of the family. Nick had, of course, crumpled it up and thrown it out, which Jeff actually cried over.

"Nicholas? Are you listening?"

Nick met his mother's gaze in the rearview mirror. "Sorry, yes?"

She sighed. "I said, make friends with the right people. Jeffrey can be a bit reckless, don't follow his example."

"Jeff is at Dalton on a full scholarship, I think he's a great example to follow." Nick retorted. Jeff had overcome a lot of things that made him someone Nick looked up to.

"All we're saying is to be cautious and be responsible, okay sport?" His father said in his interview voice. It was all artificial.

"Yes, Dad."

By the time Dalton loomed into view, Nick already had his luggage handle in his grasp. His parents didn't offer to help him carry it inside, and it was all for the better, because Nick was eager to leave them behind. "We'll come visit, okay?" His mother nodded.

Nick knew that meant he wouldn't see them until Christmas. But he smiled anyways. "Can't wait."

They waved as they pulled away, leaving Nick with his luggage on Dalton's steps. He tilted his head up at the school and smiled. It was gorgeous in person. Huge and rustic, with a sprawling green lawn and a round driveway. It was like a movie. But even better was the atmosphere. Everyone around him was doing the same thing, admiring the school, pulling their bags into the building quickly, as if it would soon disappear like a mirage.

"Duval!"

Nick turned at the sound, smile already growing as he knew it was Jeff. "Hey stranger." They'd seen eachother last night, when Amy had Nick help Jeff to pack, because his friend was too busy playing Call of Duty to 'worry about boring things like throwing my stuff into a bag'. His words.

"This place is a palace." Jeff laughed, still wearing regular clothes even though they'd received their uniforms over the summer. Nick didn't mind, he liked Jeff in that tank top.

"I know." Nick shook his head, entering with him. "I don't feel worthy."

Jeff bumped his arm. "Please, the Prince of Ohio deserves to live in a castle, right?" Now that he was out of his cast, he could move freely again, and he exercised this by doing a little dance.

Nick rolled his eyes and went to say something back, but was interrupted by a staff member calling them to get dorm assignments. He'd spent the last few weeks praying that he'd get Jeff as his roommate. He knew it was unrealistic, it was a big school, and things like that never happened by chance. He wasn't lucky enough. He discreetly crossed his fingers as he read over the list.

 _Room 232_

 _Blaine Anderson_

 _Nicholas Duval_

He sighed under his breath. No Jeff. He forced a smile. Don't be negative, Blaine could be a really nice guy. Jeff pushed him over a bit so he could read his own assignment. "Room 240, Jeff Sterling and Trent Meyers. Fuck, we're not roommates."

The woman directing students to their dorms gave Jeff a look, and Nick laughed as he pulled him down the hall they were pointed towards. "Nice first impression."

Jeff huffed, towing his luggage. "She should know I'm very upset about us being separated."

Nick was crushed too, but he felt a little better knowing Jeff was just as upset. He liked that Jeff cared so much. "Well, 240 will be just down the hall from my room."

"True." Jeff was smiling again, climbing the stairs to the dorms, suitcase dragging behind him. He'd only brought one, Nick had brought three.

"Is that all your stuff?"

Jeff shrugged. "Yeah, there wasn't much to bring." He saw Nick struggling with his own luggage and took one from him to carry.

Nick smiled gratefully, continuing up with him. "You know if you need to borrow my computer or anything-"

"I know." Jeff cut him off with a smile, and Nick knew to end the conversation.

"Think the food here is any good?" If there was any sure way to distract Jeff, it was with the mention of food, and it worked like a charm. They discussed what the food would be like until they got to their hall, where Jeff handed Nick his luggage back.

"Meet me in the cafeteria when you're done." Jeff smiled, heading down the hall, already making conversation with another boy going the same way.

Nick took a deep breath and faced his door, unlocking it with the key he'd gotten from the residence director and opening it. The room was still empty, and he was grateful for it, as he claimed the bed closer to the window and dropped his luggage on it, taking a moment to look around. It was definitely smaller than his room at home, but spacious for a dorm, and had come with a desk and dresser as well as the bed. A closer look at the desk revealed his class schedule lying there, and he made a note to check it later and compare it with Jeff's. The room's window had a view of the campus lawn, which was so freshly mowed he could see the lines of the landscaping. He could also see the students climbing from their cars, and wondered idly which one his roommate was.

After a moment of people watching, he began unpacking, hanging his clothes and uniform pieces in the closet and filling his dresser. He was in the middle of loading things into his desk drawers when the bedroom door opened, and who must be his roommate stepped in.

"Hi, I'm Blaine Anderson." He was short, with curly hair tamed by product, and he was also carrying a number of bags. But the most noticeable thing about him was that he had medical tape over a cut on his cheek, and a pink cast on his left arm.

Nick smiled a little. "Uh, hi. Nick Duval." Blaine smiled and began unpacking. Nick debated in his head for a while before asking, "How did you get that cast?"

Blaine looked at it as if he was just noticing it. "Oh, it's a long story." He said it in a voice that suggested it wasn't a long story, but rather, a complicated one, and he didn't feel like talking about it. So Nick only nodded.

"I see." Curiosity kept nagging him, but he pushed it down and turned back to his bags.

"I'm so excited to start here, it seems amazing." Blaine talked as he unpacked, and it was easy to see that the kid was pretty sociable, he went on for a while about Dalton's classes and policies and then said something that got Nick's attention. "- and I'm most excited to audition for the Warblers."

Nick couldn't help the smile that started growing. "I'm planning on auditioning as well, when are they hosting them?"

Blaine's already wide smile got wider. "Tomorrow after school. I've been practicing for weeks." He blushed, laughing. "The Warblers are like rockstars."

Blaine seemed to tell himself to tone it down, but Nick liked his excitement. And he was clearly dedicated. "That's awesome. I haven't prepared anything yet."

"I could totally help you. If you wanted." Blaine's overzealous attitude might have been annoying on someone else, but Nick thought he seemed genuine, like he really wanted to help.

"That would be cool." Nick smiled, nodding a little.

"Maybe after the orientation, then." Blaine smiled, hanging up a string of photographs. "I think there's lunch after we're all moved in, then like, 'bonding activities' tonight." He laughed. "Which means a bunch of kids that smuggled their parents alcohol in get drunk and hang out in their dorm rooms."

Nick laughed and put his empty suitcases in the closet. He decided he liked Blaine. He wondered what Jeff's roommate was like. "I think I'll skip the last part."

Blaine nodded his agreement, adjusting his sling and quickly checking his tape in the mirror. "Wanna head down to eat? I can finish up later." He motioned to the clothes that were strewn on his bed, waiting to be hung up.

"Sure." Nick nodded, leaving the room with him and walking down the hall. "So what middle school did you go to?"

"North Westerville Middle. It's kind of close to here." Blaine nodded. "You?"

"South Westerville Middle." He laughed. "Also close to here."

Blaine smiled. "I feel like most of the kids here went to those schools. Private, ridiculously expensive. Can't expect anything less for sons of senators and businessmen." He sounded a little bitter about it.

"Tell me about it. My brother's running for state office right now."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Oh, Michael Duval, right? I remember the name. My parents are involved with state politics, too. It's kind of the worst." He laughed, and Nick joined him.

"It's definitely the worst."

They reached the cafeteria and found food and a table, Nick watching the students move around them. Most had changed into their uniforms. It wasn't just freshmen, there were students from all grades, and it was easy to pick out who was new, because they wore the same expression as Nick. Awestruck, a little intimidated.

"There you are." Jeff sat down at the table with his roommate, Trent, who seemed pretty shy, but friendly nonetheless.

"I'm Blaine." Blaine smiled at the pair, and waved.

"Was move in day pretty rough?" Jeff motioned to Blaine's cut and arm, and Blaine laughed softly.

"Just a little. No, these are from about a week ago."

Jeff waited a beat for details, but didn't get any, so kept going. "That sucks. I had a cast on my leg a few months ago from performing a heroic act."

"He jumped off a swing." Nick laughed.

"Heroically." Jeff added, and Blaine smiled.

"Oh, you two know eachother?"

Jeff nodded and smiled. "We do. Since fifth grade."

"Yup, and we haven't gotten sick of eachother yet." Nick laughed, elbowing Jeff lightly.

"Emphasis on yet." Jeff retorted, stealing some of Nick's food. He had yet to change into uniform, and Nick knew he was avoiding it as long as possible, as Jeff had once again ranted about ties and dress shoes to him just last night.

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. "That's great. My close friends all went to different schools."

"I'm sure you're gonna meet a bunch of people here, everyone seems so nice." Jeff nodded enthusiastically. "I met like, six people just on the walk down the hall."

While Nick didn't have Jeff's ease in making friends, he could still see what Jeff was saying, the people here did seem nice. Everyone was open to meeting eachother, not separating into cliques like how it was in middle school. "Blaine told me a little more about the Warblers, auditions are tomorrow." Nick added, and Jeff rubbed his hands together.

"Just wait 'til they see what I have in store for them."

The cafeteria quieted then, and Nick looked up to see the dean standing at the head of the room, tapping on the microphone jutting off the podium. "Hello, students, welcome to Dalton Academy. And to returning students, welcome back." This caused applause, especially loud from the upperclassmen. Nick smiled and shifted in his seat excitedly. People liked it here. He was gonna like it here too, he already did. "For those of you that don't know me, I'm Dean Morgan, I've been the dean here for many years, and I'm proud to say that each of you were hand-chosen by my colleagues and myself. You should all give yourselves a round of applause." They applauded again, Jeff clapping Nick on the back with a grin. "Now, your classes begin tomorrow, and you are all expected to be in the dining hall for breakfast, in uniform, at 7 A.M. sharp."

Jeff gave a mock salute, and Nick dragged his hand down. "First impressions, remember?" He muttered, but couldn't help his laugh.

The dean spoke for a while longer, going over parts of the handbook and the school's expectations, but Nick wasn't listening too closely. He was at Dalton, with Jeff by his side, and had a chance to be in a competitive choir. Everything was good right now, and he soaked up the moment before it was gone. Happiness often felt fleeting for him. But he had high hopes for this year.

* * *

"Next!"

Nick adjusted his tie for what must've been the thousandth time and glanced to Jeff. "I don't think I'm ready."

Jeff watched the next person go into the choir room before giving Nick a look. "We didn't practice in my dorm until two A.M. last night for you to say you're not ready."

They were auditioning solo, but had still practiced together the night before, and luckily Trent was also auditioning and didn't mind being kept up late by their rehearsing. Well, Nick's rehearsing. Jeff hadn't shown Nick what he was doing yet. "Blaine told me last night that it was really hard to get into-"

"Yeah, it is. But you're really talented and will make the cut." Jeff said simply and shrugged.

Nick appreciated Jeff's support, but it didn't quell his anxiety. He really wanted this. "Thanks. You will, too." Jeff gave a smile and winked.

The choir room door opened again. "Next!"

Blaine was next, he had been waiting away from the rest of them, practicing under his breath. Nick bet he was really good. Or at least, really competitive. "Good luck." Nick said quickly, and Blaine flashed a smile. He didn't seem nervous. He actually seemed pretty confident.

"You guys too." He smiled and gave a thumbs up with his good hand, disappearing into the choir room.

"He seems like a good guy." Jeff smiled, and Nick agreed.

"So does Trent."

"Yeah, but he's no Nick Duval."

Nick bit his lip against a smile and faced forward again. He didn't know if his butterflies were from Jeff or from the audition. Both, probably.

Time seemed to pass in a millisecond, and before he knew it, one of the Warblers was calling next, and Nick was standing up. He registered Jeff squeeze his hand. "You've got this." Jeff smiled at him, and Nick nodded, lifting his chin a little and entering the choir room.

The room was fairly full, and while he didn't recognize anyone, they seemed friendly. But the council was definitely intimidating. Blaine had told him about how the Warblers worked, with a sort of board of captains, something about distribution of power and the strength of democracy. Jeff had laughed at that. There were three guys behind the head table, and they introduced themselves as Derek, Bradley, and Malcolm. "Nicholas Duval?" Malcolm smiled, and Nick nodded.

"Nick, yeah."

"What song have you prepared?" Bradley spoke, and Nick cleared his throat.

"Stars, from Les Mis." It had taken him hours to pick it, but he felt confident in the choice. He knew it well, it was a safety, but he didn't want to afford a risk.

The Warblers nodded, and Nick wished he had any sort of background music, but they were an acapella group and hadn't arranged the song, so he was going to have to do it stripped. "There, out in the darkness, a fugitive running. Fallen from God, fallen from grace."

He slowly became more comfortable, focusing on the song instead of the intent faces in the room, and was able to sing a little louder as he went on, more confidently. "Stars, in your multitudes scarce to be counted, filling the darkness with order and light. You are the sentinels, silent and sure, keeping watch in the night."

He didn't look to see the Warblers' reactions, just closed his eyes as he came to the finish. "Lord, let me find him. That I may see him safe behind bars. I will never rest 'til then, this I swear." He took a deep breath. "This I swear by the stars!" He held his last note, and when his eyes opened, he was relieved to see the council was smiling.

The other Warblers clapped, and Nick smiled breathlessly. Malcolm quieted them by tapping a gavel against the wooden table. "That was great, Nick. Very strong. Look for the list tomorrow to see if you made the cut." Malcolm smiled, and Nick nodded quickly.

"Thank you." He was directed to leave out the back door, and he went out into the hall, finally calming his nerves. He'd done well. He felt good about his performance, and they'd seemed to like it, right? He was filled with energy and wanted to see Jeff, but he was next to audition, so Nick had to wait.

While he was waiting, Blaine passed him, probably on his way to their room. "Hey, how did your audition go?" Nick asked, and Blaine turned.

"Oh, well, I think. I could've done better. There's always room for improvement." He smiled a little and nodded, and Nick got the vibe that it hadn't gone that well.

"Is that like, you honestly could've done better, or you being hard on yourself?" Nick asked, and Blaine laughed, but in a dull sounding way.

"My stitches split in the middle of singing." He motioned to the cut on his cheek, which was covered with a fresh bandage. He must've just come from the nurse. "I don't need to get them redone or anything, the cut was mostly closed. But it started bleeding and it- it definitely threw me off a little."

Nick frowned, not knowing what to say. "Well, I'm sure they'll understand." He didn't know Blaine well yet, but he didn't seem like the type to take failure lightly. He hoped for Blaine's sake that the council overlooked it.

Blaine looked disbelieving, but smiled anyways. "Mhm. Yeah, thanks. How did your audition go?"

He felt bad saying that he thought it went well after hearing Blaine's story. "Like you said, always room for improvement."

Blaine nodded. "Right. Well, I'll see you back at our room." He gave a small wave, then continued down the hall.

Jeff came out a minute later, breathless. Nick laughed, raising his eyebrows. "What did you sing?"

Jeff grinned, flipping hair off his forehead. "Tightrope, by Janelle Monáe."

Nick's eyebrows rose higher. "Really?" He knew the song, it was fast. And not really one you stood still for while singing. By the looks of it, Jeff definitely hadn't.

"Yup." Jeff smiled. "Choreography like in the music video and everything."

Nick laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. Leave it to Jeff to plan a performance. "Wow. What did they think?"

Jeff shrugged, walking with him down the hall, loosening his tie. "I have no idea. They're fucking stoic. Some of them joined in on the dance. But not the council guys."

Nick nodded. From what Blaine had been telling him, the Warblers didn't really take well to things that broke their mold. They were pretty firmly rooted in uniformity. He hoped Jeff's freestyle didn't end up hurting his chances of getting in. "Huh. Well, if they're smart, they'll realize you're a born star." Nick teased.

Jeff laughed and threw his arm over Nick's shoulders. "I bet you killed it, right? They seemed to be in good moods when I came in after you, did you blow them away?"

Nick blushed and laughed, shrugging. "I didn't have a dance routine or anything. So maybe a little unprepared. But I think I pulled it off."

"Aye, that's my boy." Jeff grinned, fist bumping him. Nick smiled and rolled his eyes.

"We need to talk about our first day of classes, I was too nervous about the audition to really have a conversation."

Jeff nodded. "Meet me in my dorm with a bottle of bubbly." He said in a french accent, and Nick tilted his head.

"I'm afraid I don't stash champagne in my dorm."

"I have fruit punch. A little less celebratory, but it'll work just fine." Jeff laughed and waved as they reached their dormitory hall. "I'm gonna shower, see you soon."

Nick smiled and watched him go, unlocking his dorm and entering. A night spent talking to Jeff seemed like the perfect way to unwind, even if it meant being sleepy for his classes tomorrow. Blaine gave him a smile from his bed, where he was reading something. Nick gave him his space while he changed into pajamas. "Jeff just told me he performed a dance routine for his audition."

Blaine laughed softly. "Huh, that's certainly new. Who knows, maybe the Warblers are searching for a touch of creativity this year."

"I hope so." Nick nodded, hanging his blazer over his desk chair. He hesitated a second before leaving. "Do you wanna come to Jeff's dorm with me?" He didn't want Blaine to just sit here alone after what happened. Maybe he needed someone.

Blaine looked surprised at the offer, and smiled. "Uh- that's okay, you two have fun. I'm getting pretty tired."

Nick nodded, figuring he must want to be alone. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow then." They said their goodbyes, and Nick left, thinking about ways to cheer him up. It was odd, having someone as your roommate was like automatically having a friend, and Nick wanted to be there for him. He was still thinking about it when he knocked on Jeff's door, and Jeff answered with soaking wet hair.

"Hey, good timing, I just got out."

"I can see that." Nick laughed, passing him and sitting on his bed. "Where's Trent?"

"He has a friend that goes here, I think they're in his dorm." Jeff shrugged, tossing Nick a Capri-Sun from his little fridge and getting on the bed with him.

Nick popped the straw and twirled the wrapper in his fingers. "On the topic of roommates, Blaine seems kind of torn up about his audition. He said his stitches split mid-song."

Jeff winced. "Yikes. I actually heard a few stories about why he has the stitches in the first place, the cast too."

Nick's interest peaked, but he tried to ignore it. He shouldn't gossip. "I'm sure they're not true."

"Probably not. They're not like, venomous rumors or anything, people mostly seem concerned for him. I heard that he got hurt because he got beat up for going to a dance with a boy."

He blinked, pausing his fiddling with the wrapper. "Like- as a date?"

Jeff nodded. "Yup." Nick leaned back against the headboard. Was Blaine gay? He wanted to talk to him about it. Maybe Blaine struggled with some of the stuff that Nick did. Maybe it would be helpful. Or maybe he shouldn't bring it up, Blaine should have the right to tell who he wanted to when he wanted to. "Earth to Nick."

Nick looked up and refocused. "Sorry, I'm more tired than I thought." He laughed a little.

Jeff sipped his drink and shook his head. "Lame." He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. "I think there are a lot of gay kids here. There's that anti-bullying policy, it's bound to draw in a lot of kids that wouldn't feel comfortable being out at a public school."

Nick nodded, and his heartbeat picked up for some reason. It's not like Jeff was talking about him. But he still felt completely transparent. "I bet."

"That sucks, if it's true. Getting beat up just for going to a dance with a boy. I hope Blaine got some good hits in."

Nick nodded again, watching Jeff talk. Jeff didn't have any problem with Blaine possibly being gay. He'd probably be fine with Nick being gay, too. In a sudden surge of adrenaline, he wanted to tell him. "Jeff?"

Jeff crumpled up his empty juice pouch and looked to him. "Yeah?"

And just like that, he faltered, and backed down. "I- just wanted to say that I think this year is gonna be good. I'm glad we're at Dalton together."

Jeff smiled. "Weirdo, that was off topic. But I definitely agree." He lifted his empty drink. "Here's a toast to freshmen year, and it not sucking."

Nick lifted his as well and laughed, throwing it out with Jeff's. "Cheers."

They got around to talking about their classes, and Nick could relax again, eventually laying back and just listening to Jeff talk. Jeff never minded when Nick got quiet, he was good at filling the silence, in a way that wasn't irritating. He liked the sound of Jeff's voice. He slowly drifted off, and somewhere between waking and sleep, he felt Jeff lay next to him, falling asleep with his arm over Nick's waist. It didn't mean anything to Jeff, he was just a touchy kind of person. But Nick didn't care, he was just content to be so close to him.

* * *

"Rise and shine, the list is up."

Nick woke to Jeff shaking him, and he rubbed his eyes groggily. "What time is it?"

"Five in the morning, come on." Jeff clapped. "Let's be the first to see it."

Nick laughed, yawning. "Since when are you the morning person in this relationship?"

Jeff laughed, leaning against the dresser. "Since I have something to wake up to."

He smiled and got up. "I have to go to my dorm and get dressed."

"Just come in your pjs, we'll only be a second. Then we can come back and get dressed for class or whatever boring thing that's happening today."

Nick rolled his eyes and smiled, adjusting his sleep-messy hair. "Get motivated about school."

Jeff snorted. "You sound like a library poster." Nick shrugged and left the dorm with him, starting to feel the nerves. What if he didn't make the cut? What if he _did_ make the cut? Either way, his stomach was turning over as they made their way down the hall to where the list was posted on the choir room door. "Hey, by the way." Jeff grabbed his arm to stop him for a second, and Nick stopped short. "No matter what that list says, you're talented, okay?" Jeff was doing his infamous eye contact, and again, Nick felt like Jeff could read him like an open book. "You work hard and I listened to you rehearse, you kill that song everytime. You're good. Just remember that."

Nick blushed red and nodded slowly. "Thanks, Jeff. You are, too. I hope they appreciate your creativity." He laughed softly, and Jeff squeezed the arm he was still holding.

"Alright, enough with the sappiness now." Jeff laughed, Nick protesting that he started it and following him to the list.

He took a deep breath before scanning the list, running his finger along the names. There were only a handful of names listed, but Nick knew at least thirty kids had auditioned. Anxiety gripped his heart, and he started to read. And then he read it again. Then one more time to be sure.

He wasn't there.

"Jesus, Blaine wasn't kidding about it being hard to get into." Jeff blew out a breath. He wasn't there either.

Nick shook his head a little. "That's… I really thought I would make it."

Jeff put his arm over Nick's shoulders. "Remember what I said, okay? Three stuck-up council members don't decide if you're talented or not."

"Clearly they do." Nick murmured, but Jeff's arm was a comfort, and he couldn't help but lean into him a little. "I'm sorry you didn't make it either."

"The Warblers aren't ready for us yet." Jeff smiled, turning them back down the hall and walking to the dorms with him. "We'll re-audition and be even better." The next audition date was in a month, the Warblers held them fairly frequently, but were picky about who passed. Nick nodded a little and let Jeff be optimistic. He was probably right, they'd keep re-auditioning and they'd get better. But right now, he just felt discouraged. He couldn't imagine what he could do next time to improve, he'd already used the song he was most familiar with. "Chin up, Prince of Ohio." Jeff bumped Nick's chin, and Nick smiled reluctantly.

"See you in class."

They parted when Jeff went to his dorm and Nick retreated to his own. He'd pick a new song right away. He'd start practicing and get better than he was before. Maybe he could even ask a council head where he went wrong and adjust those things. No giving up. He unlocked his door and quickly showered once he got inside, dressing in his uniform afterwards and putting a smile on. He'd come back from this.

"Hey Nick."

He heard Blaine enter the dorm and leaned out of their bathroom. "Hey, did you look at the list?" He couldn't even remember if he'd seen Blaine's name on it.

"Yeah." Blaine said casually, and Nick prodded for details.

"And? Did you make it?"

Blaine shook his head a little. "No. Well- yes, I did. But I said no."

Nick stared at him. "What? Why?"

Blaine shrugged. "I only made the cut because they felt bad. I know I wasn't good enough to get in, not with that mistake." He motioned to his bandage. "I'm gonna re-audition next month. I'll be out of this cast and I'll be ready to give a performance that's worth it."

Nick was still a little shocked. He crossed his arms. "Blaine… I think you should go back and say yes." He couldn't fathom why Blaine would turn it down. Even after hearing his reasoning.

"No, if I'm gonna get in, I'm getting in on merit, not some pity technicality because they feel bad for the gay kid whose stitches ripped mid-audition." His roommate was prideful, most kids from families like Nick and Blaine's were. And he had also just admitted he was gay. Nick was silent a minute, not knowing what to say. Blaine instantly flushed. "Yeah, I'm gay. But I'm out, so it doesn't matter if you tell. But if you have a problem with it, tell me now."

Blaine's gaze met his steadily. He had fire in his eyes, and Nick knew Jeff's story must be true. Blaine had been pushed around for his sexuality, and he wasn't accepting it anymore. "I don't have a problem with it." Nick said softly, and Blaine visibly relaxed.

"Okay. Well, good." He nodded a little, then gestured to his cast and bandage. "This is- because of it. I tried to go to a school dance with my friend, Tyler." Blaine laughed humorlessly. "I should've known. There were kids that had a problem with it. All we did was hold hands." He got quiet, clearly remembering it. "We got beat up by a whole group of kids. Tyler ended up with a concussion. They just… had at it. Kicking us, punching us. Like we weren't even human."

Nick felt cold, his stomach twisting. He was speechless. To think that kids their age could be so cruel. To think that wasn't even the worst case scenario for people like him, for people like _them._ "That's awful." He sat down on the bed next to Blaine. If Nick was Jeff, he would've hugged Blaine, or rubbed his back, or taken his hand. But Nick was more accustomed to the non-physical support, and being next to Blaine was enough. "I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to go through that."

Blaine shrugged, wiping his eyes discreetly. "That's why I'm here. I'm not going to get bullied or hurt. That's not happening again."

He said it with such determination that Nick believed him, and he admired him for it. "Call me for backup if you need it." He smiled a little, and Blaine laughed under his breath.

"Thank you. Really."

Nick nodded. He could learn from Blaine, he realized. How to be out and proud, even if you were scared. But now wasn't the time for that conversation. "Let's get some breakfast."

Blaine agreed and stood with him, straightening his uniform and pressing his fingers to his bandage to make sure it was still on. "I didn't see yours and Jeff's names up there, I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. We'll re-audition." Nick nodded, leaving with him. "We'll be even better." He repeated what Jeff had told him, and Blaine smiled.

"We'll be even better."

* * *

After a few weeks, all the newcomers were settled in, and everyone was becoming fast friends. Especially their hall of dorms, people got used to hanging out in eachother's rooms until curfew (which was easy to get around, lucky for them). Jeff was more social than him, making wide groups of friends just like he had in middle school, but Nick liked having his few close friendships better. Jeff brought his guitar into Nick and Blaine's dorm a lot and they would practice for their next audition, or they'd go down to the commons, where there was a piano, and Blaine would play and they'd practice there.

"I wish I could play an instrument." Nick commented as he walked to class with Jeff, and his friend grinned.

"You don't need to, you're talented enough with your mouth."

Nick pushed him and laughed, as usual, hiding his blush with a turn of his head and a retort. "Are you saying you're not talented with yours?"

Jeff winked. "I make up for it with my fingers." He pretended to play a guitar, and Nick just shook his head as he smiled. His crush remained, as much as he tried to push it down. There just wasn't anybody like Jeff. And he felt so close to him. And he was so funny and sweet, ever since he'd known him. And he-

"Nick, Jeff , hey."

They stopped walking, Jeff responding to the voice first. "Oh, Malcolm. What's up?" Nick remembered him from the council and waved a little. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't still a little upset from the rejection.

"Not much, on my way to Calculus." Malcolm nodded and then tilted his head. "You guys are planning on re-auditioning, right? Because we're hosting them next week."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, definitely." He paused a second, then asked what he'd been wondering since he read the list. "I don't really know what to perform, though. What should I work on? What are you guys looking for?"

Malcolm smiled. "You were amazing. One of the best by far. But you just didn't- sell it, you know? So many people auditioned with those classic songs, but it didn't mean anything to you, did it?"

He shrugged a little. "I mean, not really, no. I just sang it because I thought it might sound good."

"It did. But we want people with passion. People that feel connected to the songs, that truly use music for something more than just the sake of sounding good." Malcolm nodded, and Jeff laughed beside him.

"Bullshit. You guys don't care about passion, you care about people touch-stepping in sync and not standing out from your line of robots."

Nick was surprised for a second, but then nodded a little. "It does seem like you guys want… uniformity rather than originality."

Malcolm sighed. "Between you and me, I know that. I voted for you guys, but it's a council, majority rules. And the majority didn't want to stray from tradition." He motioned to Jeff. "That's why you didn't get in. But believe me, your choreo was awesome. I loved it."

Jeff smiled a little proudly, but still stood his ground. "Then what about Nick? He didn't do anything crazy."

"You have potential, Nick." Malcolm looked to him, offering a smile. "We need lead singers for when the seniors leave. Not everyone will be touch-stepping." He laughed softly. "We want more from you."

"And less from me." Jeff cut in, and Malcolm chuckled.

"It's a strange balance, I know. Yes, show how well you can work with a group, be someone that can blend in with a team. But at the same time, give us something extra that puts you ahead."

Nick considered this. It made sense. It was just tricky to fall into that mix that they wanted. A strange balance, for sure. "Thanks. I'll have something ready."

Jeff nodded in agreement. "See you next week."

"Good luck, both of you." Malcolm waved, heading back on his way to class.

They started walking again. "So they want us to blend it, but stand out?" Jeff huffed. "Everybody's a critic." Nick nodded, but was busy thinking of what he could sing. Something deeper, something that meant something to him. He watched Jeff talk, at how his mouth quirked up and how he flicked his hair off his face and how he spoke with his hands, and he knew what song he'd do. "Well I'm choreographing a new dance, they can deal with it." Jeff continued. "They'll see."

Nick laughed and nodded. "If anyone can swing them, it's you."

Jeff smiled and blew him a kiss. "Why thank you, my biggest fan."

Nick pretended to catch the kiss and toss it away. "Gotta go to class."

"That could be worth a lot someday!" Jeff gasped as Nick went to class, waving over his shoulder. He was eager to get back to his room and start rehearsing. This would be his best performance yet. But also, his most terrifying.

* * *

"Welcome back, Nick."

Nick stood in front of the Warblers, doing his best to keep his breathing steady and his hands still. He'd nail this audition. He just had to let his guard down. That was the hardest thing for him to do. "Hi. Thanks for giving me another chance."

Malcolm gave him a warm smile, Nick nodded to show he'd taken his advice. "What will you be singing for us today?"

"Heaven, by Troye Sivan." The first time he'd heard it, the message had been clear. He was definitely opening up, reaching somewhere emotional. The Warblers nodded for him to begin, and he took a final deep breath. They might catch on, they might not. But he was doing this for himself now. "The truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek. Trying to save face and daddy heartbreak, I'm lying through my teeth." It wasn't like the last time he auditioned. He didn't spend the whole song worrying about what the Warblers thought, or analyzing their reactions. He slipped into the song like it was an extension of himself.

 _This voice inside  
Has been eating at me  
Trying to replace the love that I fake  
With what we both need_

 _The truth runs wild  
Like kids on concrete  
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage  
And numb what I see_

 _Awake, wide eyed  
I'm screaming at me  
Trying to keep faith and picture his face  
Staring up at me_

 _Without losing a piece of me  
How do I get to heaven?  
Without changing a part of me  
How do I get to heaven?  
All my time is wasted  
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh  
So if I'm losing a piece of me  
Maybe I don't want heaven?_

He suddenly heard the sound of voices joining in, and realized they were singing the backup harmony. He didn't think they usually joined in on auditions. His heart swelled. "So I'm counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen." Nick sang, the Warblers keeping the harmony in the back.

The room quieted again when he came to the close of the song. "So if I'm losing a piece of me…" He breathed out slow, and he could feel that his eyes were teary. "Maybe I don't want heaven."

The room was silent, enough to hear a pin drop, and then the slow start of applause that grew louder and louder. Nick smiled through the tears that were coming now, wiping his eyes quickly. He knew not everyone got the message in the song. But they stood as they applauded, and his heart was warm. "Thank you."

Malcolm spoke when the applause died down. "That was exactly what we were looking for, Nick. You've got something special."

Nick nodded and tried to restrain from cheering, his hands shaking a bit still. "Thank you so much." He said again, breathless.

"Results are up tomorrow." Malcolm smiled in a way that said Nick should already know the answer.

Nick nodded and thanked the rest of the Warblers as he headed out, leftover adrenaline making his heart race. Like last time, he felt confident about his audition. But it was in a different way. He wasn't confident because he did something he thought it would mean something to the council, he was confident because he did something that meant something to him.

* * *

"Nicholas Duval, you have some explaining to do."

Usually, the context of this kind of phrase wouldn't be good. But this was an exception. Because it was said by Jeff, who was standing in his doorway with a handful of flowers. "No idea what you're talking about." Nick closed his laptop and swiveled to face him in his desk chair.

"Tell me why I had to find out from Trent that you made the Warblers?" Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "You're my best friend, I should be the first to know!"

Nick's heart flipped just at hearing the words out loud. He'd made the Warblers. He'd checked the list a few hours ago, and after seeing his name, he couldn't stop smiling. He'd made it. So had Blaine, who was currently MIA, and a few other students he didn't know. But Jeff hadn't. "Sorry, I didn't- I didn't want to seem like I was bragging."

"You should be bragging." Jeff laughed, then handed him the flowers. "Congrats, dude. I stole these from one of the arrangements outside, don't snitch."

Nick smiled widely, taking the flowers. They were yellow. "Remember when you told me that yellow was the best?"

Jeff laughed and sat on Nick's bed. "It still is."

Nick put the flowers in the pencil cup on his desk. It was his favorite color since Jeff had said it. "You're gonna make it next time. I know it."

His friend waved him off. "No big deal. More time to work on new steps." Nick admired that Jeff could always be optimistic, even when it wasn't fully real.

He pulled a flower from the cup and gave it to Jeff, giving him a gentle smile. "Well, I'm sure you stunned them this time around. Can I have an encore?"

Jeff laughed and took the flower. "Regifting my own present? Tacky, Duval." He stood from Nick's bed and put the stem in his mouth, moving his hips like he was dancing the tango. "It went a little something like this." Jeff spoke around the stem, grabbing Nick's hand and pulling him to his feet, dancing with him around the dorm.

Nick laughed, letting Jeff lead him, their hands clasped together and arms outstretched, doing their best to mirror a ballroom dance. "You did not do this in front of the Warblers."

He dipped Nick and grinned, flower still hanging from his mouth. "No, I just wanted to see the look on your face."

Nick was still holding him tightly, laughing breathlessly as he hovered above the floor. "Don't drop me."

Jeff smiled and pulled him back up, doing some series of complicated footwork and tossing the flower in the air. "Never."

He collapsed on the bed after, Nick following suit. "Rehearsals won't be fun without you."

Jeff shrugged. "Sure they will. You'll be doing what you love."

 _But not with who I love_ , he added in his head. He startled himself a little with the use of the word love. Sure, they said they loved eachother all the time, but not in the way his subconscious just spilled. As much as he tried to ignore his feelings, they just got more overwhelming. It was Jeff's fault for making him feel those things. "Still."

"Do you still have that shirt I gave you last Christmas? With the signatures?" Jeff smiled, and Nick nodded. Of course he did. "This is your first step to the big time, I told you you'd be famous when I gave that to you."

"It's a high school choir." Nick laughed, flicking Jeff's forehead.

Jeff batted him away. "Don't minimize this, you always do that."

Nick bit his lip and smiled a little. "It's just not that big of a deal-"

"Yes, it is." Jeff smiled at him in that way he did so easily. "So shut up and recognize that you're going places."

"I don't appreciate being told to shut up." Nick teased, and Jeff laughed.

"I'll make you."

He reddened and picked up the flower from where it had fallen, keeping his hands busy with it. "Have you talked to Sadie at all this year?"

Jeff shook his head. "Not really. I don't think I'm the type to do long distance. I want to be with someone I can like, spend all my time with."

Nick nodded, smiling a little. "That's understandable."

Jeff plucked a petal off the flower. "She loves me, she loves me not." Nick suddenly remembered the last time they'd played this game, somewhere in the summer after sixth grade. They'd sat on the steps of Jeff's little yellow house and pulled all the petals off a flower, Nick wondering why he didn't have a crush on any girls yet. It seemed like a million years ago.

"Don't get petals all over my bed." Nick smiled, but picked off a few. "She loves me, she loves me not." Jeff ripped off about seven, fluttering them over Nick's duvet. "Okay, I definitely don't love you." Nick laughed, brushing them off his bed.

"Yes, you do." Jeff smiled and kept pulling the petals. "Nick loves me, he loves me more, he loves me, he loves me more-" He sighed and smiled, letting him go through to the last petal. "Awe, you just plain love me."

"In your dreams."

"Maybe." Jeff hopped up, going to the door. "I promised Trent I'd help him with chemistry homework. Tell Blaine I say congrats." He smiled as he left, Nick calling bye after him.

He picked up all the petals, putting them in the cup with the flowers. He didn't want to throw them away. For the thousandth time, he let his imagination wander, and he considered what it would be like if Jeff had given him those flowers romantically. If Jeff had kissed him after he gave them to him, or said he was proud of his boyfriend. It was too good to be true, and he squashed the feelings as he opened his laptop again and set back to work. He shouldn't be greedy. He was lucky just to have Jeff as his friend.

* * *

There was nothing better than going to Warblers rehearsals. He loved everything about them. The people, the music, the way there was always a kind of harmony in the background even when they weren't rehearsing.

"You just get better everyday." Malcolm sat next to him on the couch, the Warblers still running songs around them.

It was the day before they left for Thanksgiving break, and it was hard to believe the time had passed so quickly. "Thank you." Nick smiled, ducking his head bashfully. He hoped Malcolm was telling the truth, he'd been practicing a ton.

"Sure." He patted Nick's back. "Plans for Thanksgiving break?"

Nick shrugged. "Not really." It would be the first time he saw his parents since moving into school. He wasn't looking forward to it.

Malcolm smiled. "Good food at least?"

"Hopefully." Nick laughed, then stood as the bell rang to dismiss them. "I hope you have a nice break."

Malcolm nodded as he stood with him, squeezing his arm. "You too. Maybe we could see eachother at some point."

Immediately, his brain kicked into overanalysis. See eachother as friends? As a date? Nick laughed a little, glancing to his hand and then meeting his eyes. "Uhm, yeah. That could be cool." Malcolm smiled and waved as he left. Nick touched his arm where Malcolm had just touched it. _Don't overthink it, Nick_.

"Come on, we gotta pack and be out of here by five." Blaine was by his side then, and Nick shook himself from his thoughts, following him out.

"I wish we could stay here."

Blaine nodded his agreement. "Family dinner feels more like a formal obligation than fun."

"Definitely." He was glad Blaine understood. Jeff was so excited to go home that Nick almost felt guilty for feeling so aversed to it. He wished he had a better relationship with his parents. But he wouldn't wish for Jeff's relationship with his father, so he'd count his blessings.

They reached their dorm and worked on packing up. Nick was leaving most of his things in his dorm, but was taking home some laundry and his school stuff. Dalton definitely did not let up on homework over breaks. "Knock knock!" Jeff walked in dragging a duffel bag behind him. "Chop chop Duval, my mom's out front to drive us home."

Blaine laughed and greeted Jeff quickly. "I'll see you guys next week."

Nick closed his suitcase and gave Blaine a brief hug. "See you next week. I hope you survive your family."

"Same to you." Blaine laughed and waved as the pair left, Jeff with extra bounce in his step.

"I think a bunch of family on my mom's side is coming over for Thanksgiving." Jeff smiled. "You need to meet them, they're so great."

Nick shrugged. "Sure, when?"

"Come for Thanksgiving dinner." Jeff smiled, picking up his pace when they saw Amy's car.

"No, Thanksgiving is a family day." Nick protested, though the idea sounded wonderful.

Jeff looked at him. "Exactly." He laughed. "You've always been family."

Nick stood by the car while Jeff greeted his mother, a stupid smile growing on his face. Jeff considered him family. When Amy hugged him and Jeff put his luggage into the trunk for him, Nick knew he considered them family, too.

* * *

"Pass the butter!"

"I'm not eating peas mom, never!"

"Okay, that's definitely not how you cook a turkey."

Jeff's house was a bit of a whirlwind. To start, there was probably too many people in too small of a space. But it didn't feel claustrophobic. It felt… homey. Like he was really surrounded by love. Everyone on Amy's side of the family was similar to her and Jeff; sweet, open, and definitely outgoing. He immediately felt like he'd known them all forever. He couldn't say the same for his own family.

"Love, can you help me prep this?" One of Jeff's aunts, Aunt Mary, beckoned for Nick to help at the counter. Jeff was off playing hide-n-seek with his cousins, so Nick complied, going to her and taking a knife from the block. It had been easy to convince his parents to let him spend Thanksgiving at Jeff's, because as it turns out, they were headed to a hosted dinner today anyways. No children allowed.

"Just cutting them up?" Nick asked, already starting to work on cutting the array of vegetables lined up on the cutting board.

"Just like that, thank you." Mary smiled, working on another pile. "You must be the boy Jeff is always talking about."

He hid his blush with a duck of his head, focusing on the task at hand and trying not to smile too wide, as if he'd give away his secret. "Hopefully he's saying all good things."

"Non-stop." Mary laughed. "How is Dalton treating you?"

"I love it there. I'm learning a lot. I'm really grateful I have the opportunity to attend." He nodded. He was also really grateful that Jeff got to attend.

She smiled and put some of the vegetables in a bowl for a salad. "Your father's in politics, right? Think you'll head down that road?"

"No." His answer was quick and reflexive. He covered quickly though. "I haven't quite thought about my career path, but I think I've had enough politics to last me a lifetime." Nick laughed a little, looking up when Jeff burst into the kitchen.

"Save me!" He laughed, his cousin right behind him as he grabbed Nick and used him like a shield.

"No fair!" The ten-year-old stomped his foot and dropped his Nerf gun.

Jeff grinned and kept Nick close to him. Nick didn't know if he wanted to push him away or pull him even closer. "How old are you?" Nick laughed, Jeff finally letting go and stealing a handful of the carrots Nick had been working on.

"Old enough to know that there's no greater joy than being a kid at heart." He smirked when Nick rolled his eyes, obviously happy with his retort.

"Jeff, help Nick finish this." Mary laughed and bumped the carrots from his hand.

"Nick does the cooking in this relationship."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "Oh, we're a relationship now?"

Jeff winked. "Sure."

It was a joke. Obviously. And Nick totally knew that. But it didn't stop his heart from fluttering around his chest like a caged bird. "Well, I guess we're lucky I'm the chef then, because you can't cook at all."

"I can, I just like to let you serve me." Jeff teased, then picked up another chopped piece of vegetable and tossing it into Nick's open mouth.

Mary watched the whole exchange with a funny sort of smile on her face. It made Nick feel like she knew too much. "Go finish your game of tag or hide-n-seek or whatever."

Jeff smiled. "We're actually playing a new twist on capture the flag with an indoors modification."

Nick waved his hand. "That, then."

"Just let me know when dinner's ready." Jeff blew a kiss, still playing the relationship joke, and Nick caught it and pocketed it with a disapproving look at him. Jeff lifted his hands in surrender and left.

"Is going to an all-boys school rough on your dating life?" Mary teased then, and Nick wasn't stupid, he knew that she was trying to subtly figure out if he was gay, if there was any truth to the relationship joke.

It was strange, it was moments like these where he was so compelled to just come out. It would be casual, it would fit into conversation. _No, it's not rough on my dating life, because I don't date girls._ But it wasn't as simple as that. He almost stuttered as he responded. "Oh, I'm really trying to focus on classes and all right now. The course load is insane."

She nodded, and if she was disappointed she didn't find the answer she was fishing for, she didn't show it. But it was strange, she didn't seem accusatory or mad. Just curious. No judgement. The oven timer went off then, and they worked on taking the turkey out and bringing it to the table, along with all the side dishes. Jeff sat next to Nick and they talked with his family through dinner. Nick had never felt more welcome.

* * *

"Please, take leftovers." Amy was already pushing containers into his hands after dinner was over, Jeff laughing.

"Easy, mom." He pulled Nick away. "He's got food at his own house."

Nick rolled his eyes and smiled at her gratefully. "Thanks, Amy. Everything was delicious."

Amy hugged him, careful not to crush the containers between them. "You're always welcome here, lovebug."

Jeff pulled him out of the house, laughing. "Watch out, she'll adopt you."

"I wouldn't mind."

"How are you gonna bike home with the leftovers?" Jeff tilted his head, and Nick shrugged.

"I'll manage."

"Let's hang out tomorrow, then. Most of my family will still be here, we can get a game of football going in the park."

Idly, Nick remembered how he'd told Malcolm they might hang out this week. "I might have plans."

Jeff made a face. "Yeah, your plans are to be my quarterback."

"No, different plans."

"Kicker?"

Nick pushed his shoulder, smiling. "Plans with Malcolm."

Jeff looked momentarily put off. "Oh, sure."

Why did it suddenly feel awkward? He felt like he needed to explain himself. "We talk a lot at Warblers rehearsals, so I just- he asked if we could hang out this week." He said lamely, Jeff nodding.

"Oh, right."

"Maybe you can come, I bet some other Warblers will be there." He tried, and Jeff laughed a little.

"I won't intrude. I'm not part of the group."

It almost sounded like he was… jealous. "You will be soon, I know they think you're talented-"

Jeff was already stepping back onto the porch. "Nah, they don't want people like me. They're never gonna accept anything different than their old traditions."

"That's not true, they're changing. They're not like that." Nick couldn't help but be defensive.

Jeff just laughed. Not his usual laugh. This one was bitter. "Of course you say that, _you_ got in."

"I got in because I'm good. I worked hard."

Right after he said it, Jeff's expression made him want to take it back. "So I'm not good, then. And I don't work hard." Jeff shook his head, looking defeated.

"I didn't mean it like that." He muttered.

"Alright, Nick. I have to go. Maybe practice more, so I can be good enough for your group." Jeff walked inside the house and closed the door without saying goodbye.

Nick swallowed. He was too prideful to knock on the door and tell him he was wrong, the Warblers _were_ wary of change, and of course Jeff was talented. So he got on his bike, struggling to carry the leftovers as he pedaled home, wind biting his ears and cheeks. Fighting with Jeff made his heart ache. He hated it. He hated himself for giving them something to fight over.

He reached home and shoved the leftovers in the fridge, texting Malcolm as he walked upstairs to his room.

To: Malcolm 8:37 PM

Hey, hanging out sounds good. How's tomorrow?

Malcolm's response was pretty quick.

To: Nick 8:39 PM

That sounds perfect, I'll pick you up?

Nick texted him his address and then turned his phone off. Why did it feel strangely like cheating? He fell asleep after a long time of staring at the ceiling. He vaguely remembered when his life didn't feel so complicated.

* * *

"Thanks for getting me." Nick smiled as he got in the car. Malcolm was a junior and had his license already, as well as a really nice car that matched with Nick's parents' shiny cars in the driveway.

"No problem." Malcolm shook his head, pulling out of the driveway and heading down the street. "How was your Thanksgiving?"

He thought about his and Jeff's fight. "It was okay. Yours?"

"Okay. Good food, that's the most you can hope for, right?" Malcolm laughed, and Nick chuckled.

"I guess so." He discreetly checked his phone. He knew it was rude, and didn't even really care.

Malcolm didn't miss it, though. "Waiting to hear from someone?"

Nick blushed, looking up. "Uhm, yeah. Kind of."

"Jeff?"

He looked at him. "How did you know?"

Malcolm just laughed. "It's rare to see you two apart, I can only assume you're in touch all the time." He shrugged, laughing a little. He didn't really know what to say. "Can I ask you something?" Malcolm said then, glancing off the road to look at him for a second.

Nick's heart thrummed. "Uh huh."

"Were you and Jeff ever…. you know, a thing?"

"No." He answered, and his face felt overheated. He wasn't lying. So why did he feel like he was?

Malcolm laughed, not noticing Nick's change in demeanor. "Oh, okay. I just thought you two might have dated a while, you're really close and all."

He tried not to be defensive. "Yeah. But he's straight. So." Nick kept his gaze rooted to the windshield. He hoped by not saying he was straight as well, Malcolm would get the hint. That combined with the song he'd re-auditioned with.

"So you're single?"

"Yeah?" That caught him off guard. Why did Malcolm care?

"So… can I officially call this a date?" Malcolm's smile was bright, but Nick's smile seemed to slip off his face.

"I'm not…" He trailed off, not even sure what to say. He didn't like Malcolm like that. He was pretty sure he'd be pining after Jeff until he died. And he wasn't ready to be out in front of the whole school. He was going to come out in his own way, alone. "Malcolm, you're really nice. You've been sweet to me-"

"Oh, no, it's fine." Malcolm interrupted him, the tone of his voice suggesting that he wasn't really fine, and actually pretty hurt. "No worries. I figured I'd go out on a limb. You're one of the good ones."

They both laughed, awkward and quiet, and Nick wished his car door would swing open and he could roll out onto the road. "I'm just- I'm not really officially out yet, and stuff. But you're great. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Except you."

He reddened. "If circumstances were different…" If he hadn't met Jeff Sterling.

Malcolm nodded his understanding. "Well, let's not waste the day. I have a great spot I want to take you to."

Nick also nodded, settling back for the ride. He wanted to be his friend still. Malcolm was being cool about it. It was hard to process that Malcolm even had feelings for him, Nick had never considered anyone outside of Jeff. He checked his phone again. No texts.

He realized he wouldn't have a good day as long as he knew Jeff was upset with him. He made sure his ringer was on so he didn't miss anything, and then tried to focus on what Malcolm was trying to talk to him about. Maybe he really would be pining after his friend forever. It was disheartening to know that he'd rather that then nothing.

* * *

 **So this was definitely longer than I expected to post, but I had to get some basics in there! Next chapter has a lot more drama, a lot more feelings, and a lot more Warblers.**

 **I mentioned the song Heaven by Troye Sivan in this chapter, give it a listen!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is not as frighteningly long as my last one, promise. Some things I've waited a long time to write happen in this chapter!**

 **A warning: this chapter does contain brief reference to past abuse. If that's a trigger for you, keep it in mind! But like I said, it is only mention of past, just note that.**

 **That being said, here is chapter six!**

 **I don't own Glee. (:**

* * *

Nick came to find that not talking to Jeff on a daily basis was strange. Also, lonely. So incredibly lonely. Their fights never lasted this long. In fact, they never had fights to begin with. Nick wasn't sure what to do. And maybe Jeff wasn't either, because now they didn't talk like they used to. It was like there was this… thing between them, for lack of a better word. This distance that was unfamiliar for them. Jeff felt like Nick had moved on. And it was ironic, because Nick felt utterly friendless.

"Nick, I'm not the type to do this. But I think you need an intervention."

Blaine was sitting cross-legged on his bed, staring at him with that wise look no teenager should be capable of having. "An intervention for what?"

"You and Jeff." Blaine shrugged. Nick winced. It had been a couple weeks since their fight, but it felt like an eternity. He'd told Blaine a little bit about it, he'd been too visibly upset to hide it. He said that Jeff felt left out of the Warblers, which wasn't necessarily true. Nick had messed up by implying Jeff didn't deserve it how Nick did. And that crushed Nick, he felt awful. But he was prideful, and he was scared to address it.

"We don't need an intervention, but thanks for your concern." Nick smiled a little, but Blaine pressed on.

"You guys have always been so close, you shouldn't let this come between you guys."

Blaine's intentions were well-meant, they always were, but Nick wished he'd stop talking about it. "I know. I want to be friends with him again, of course. But it just feels weird."

Blaine nodded. "Fair enough. When is he re-auditioning for the Warblers? Maybe once he's in you guys won't feel so distanced."

"Do you think the Warblers will ever let him in? They don't seem to like that he's not one to blend in with a group." That was Nick's favorite thing about him.

Blaine considered. "I think they're coming around. Maybe we could vote on it. We're a democracy." Nick made a face. "Okay, we're trying to be."

Nick sighed and laid back on his bed. "I don't know. I just want him back." His roommate was silent beside him, and Nick knew what that meant. Blaine was wondering if Nick was gay. He'd learned to see the signs. But he didn't feel like explaining himself. "When's the next audition?"

"Thursday."

Nick nodded, grabbing his phone and drafting a text to Jeff.

' _Hey, auditions are Thursday. I hope you're going. I was wrong, you deserve to be there as much as the next guy. Maybe more.'_

He read it over and erased it.

' _Auditions are Thursday. You should go, blow them all away. You'll have my vote.'_

He backspaced that one too. In the end, he sent this:

' _Auditions Thursday. You going?'_

He shut his phone off then. He was afraid that Jeff would text back no. He and Blaine said their goodnights, and Nick tried his best to fall asleep. Blaine didn't say goodnight like how Jeff did. Jeff always tossed in a stupid joke. Or a nickname. And he said 'I love you'. If Jeff wanted to be his friend again, Nick wouldn't take that for granted anymore. He would say everything he was feeling this time. He didn't want to lose him.

* * *

"Do you have any idea what he's going to sing?"

Nick shook his head, checking his phone for the millionth time since their rehearsal had started. They opened for auditions in five minutes. Jeff had texted back that he'd be auditioning, but offered no other details. Blaine, always the voice of reason, guided Nick's phone down. "Sorry." Nick muttered, knowing Blaine must've seen him check it over and over again.

"He'll do great. And you can apologize after. You clearly miss him." Blaine shrugged.

There was no use denying that. Malcolm broke the silence then, hitting the gavel against the wood desk. "Alright Warblers, today is our last round of auditions. After this, we cut off. Next month has many important dates, with Christmas coming up and all the shows that go with it. So let's see what we're dealing with here."

Another Warbler opened the door, letting in the first waiting student. He was older looking, like he might be a junior, or even a senior. What if Jeff didn't get in until he was a senior? His heart sank at the possibility. A handful of other students auditioned, and Nick looked to the clock, getting nervous. Was Jeff bailing?

And then the doors were opening, and there he was, grin on his face so wide it looked like he wasn't worried at all. Nick knew better, Jeff had probably rehearsed whatever he was about to do countless times. But he was a good actor. "Good afternoon."

Malcolm nodded. "Hello, Jeff. What will you be singing for us today?"

"The Room Where it Happens, from Hamilton." Jeff nodded, and it was a subtle jab to the closed off, exclusive nature of the Warblers, but no one commented.

"Proceed." Malcolm gestured for him to start, and Jeff took a deep breath. He made brief eye contact with Nick, and all Nick could do was give a nod. He hoped that Jeff knew it meant it was a good choice, though to be honest, Nick didn't know if it was.

"I wanna be in the room where it happens, the room where it happens…" Jeff opted to skip the opening dialogue, jumping to the first chorus and singing it a little slower, as if it were an acoustic version. The Warblers quickly caught on and filled in with backup vocals.

It was a slightly different version of the song, arranged in a way that cut out most of the dialogue, but the way Jeff did it, you could barely noticed he changed it. He was more than making up for it with, of course, a choreographed dance. "What did they say to you to get you to sell New York City down the river? Did Washington know about the dinner, was there presidential pressure to deliver?" Jeff looked to Nick then, and he knew instantly Jeff wanted him to do Alexander's part. "Or did you know even then it doesn't matter where you put the U.S. Capital?"

"'Cause we'll have the banks, we're in the same spot."

Jeff looked relieved, only flashing a smile for a second before he put his show face back on. "You got more than you gave."

"And I wanted what I got." Nick sang the retort, and couldn't help but notice it's relevance to their situation. "When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. But you don't get a win unless you play in the game. You get love for it, you get hate for it, you get nothing if you-"

"Wait for it, wait for it, wait." The Warblers filled in, and Nick had always played off Jeff well, they had a strong dynamic, and Jeff had a flair for the dramatic, so Nick did too.

"God help and forgive me, I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me, what do you want Burr?"

"What do you want Burr, if you stand for nothing Burr what do you fall for?" They all had joined in for the surge, and then they cut out, and someone flicked the lights out. Nick wasn't surprised to see a flashlight beam land on Jeff, definitely the work of a Warbler he'd somehow persuaded to help him.

"I, wanna be in the room where it happens, the room where it happens. I… I wanna be in the room where it happens, the room where it happens." The lights slowly came back up as the Warblers harmonized on the chorus, slowly building it up. "The art of the compromise, hold your nose and close your eyes. We want our leaders to save the day, but we don't get a say in what they trade away." Jeff was singing directly to the council now, a bold move, but no one could argue it was inaccurate. "We dream of a brand new start, but we dream in the dark for the most part. Dark as a tomb where it happens, I've got to be in the room where it happens!"

Jeff jumped on the desk for the last chorus, and the Warblers were so into it now they didn't care, singing with him the final notes. "In the roooooom!"

Jeff pointed his fingers to the ceiling. "Click boom!"

The lights cut again after the last definitive note, and the applause was instant. Nick was clapping the loudest of all. When the lights returned, Jeff had returned to the floor, catching his breath and straightening his blazer. "That was… something." Malcolm spoke first, and it was hard to read if he had enjoyed it, or hated it.

"Thanks." Jeff responded, and he was smiling, but he was wringing his hands, nervous.

"The results will be up tomorrow."

Jeff nodded, thanking them again and heading out the door. Jeff had to make it. He just had to.

"Alright, I think the council can come to the decision that Jeff is… not cut out for our group." One of the council members said, and Nick was interrupting before he even realized he was talking.

"What? That performance was amazing."

Malcolm frowned. "Nick, it was an underhanded blow to everything the Warblers stand for."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "It was a song about a closed off, elitist group of near tyrants. Is that what the Warblers stand for?"

The other council member shook his head. "No, we are very inclusive. We just have a previous standing tradition-"

"Of turning away anyone unique." Nick finished, and the Warblers chimed in with similar complaints. Malcolm tapped the gavel.

"Enough, enough."

"Why don't we bring it to a vote?" Blaine spoke up, and Nick nodded gratefully.

Malcolm sighed, squaring his shoulders. "All in favor of Jeff joining the Warblers, say 'aye'

Most everyone in the room said aye, Nick saying it a little louder than a regular volume.

"Then I guess he's in." The other council member said, bringing the gavel down somewhat reluctantly. The Warblers clapped, and as soon as they were dismissed, Nick went out to find Jeff. It didn't take him long, Jeff was leaning against the wall down the hallway.

Nick went to him, smiling a little. "You were great."

Jeff shrugged a little. "Thanks for helping me."

"How did you know I'd sing the part of the song?" Nick leaned against the wall next to him. "What if I was bitter and didn't play along?"

Jeff chuckled. "You're Nick Duval. You're my best friend. I knew you'd have my back."

Nick smiled, nodding slowly. "You're my best friend, too. Even if I was incredibly stupid."

"So, so stupid." Jeff laughed, biting his lip. "But I forgive you."

"I haven't apologized yet." Nick pointed out.

"Well, you insulted yourself, so I knew the apology was coming." Jeff teased, and Nick rolled his eyes fondly.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. Really. You work harder than anyone I know. You deserve to have a spot on that team."

Jeff nodded. "Thanks. For sticking up for me in there."

"Were you eavesdropping?" Nick crossed his arms, and Jeff grinned.

"I may have overheard their decision."

"I was gonna surprise you with flowers." Nick laughed. "You've ruined it now."

"Surprising with flowers is my thing, get your own." Jeff was already walking down the hall, and Nick watched him go, trying not to smile too wide.

"Chocolate, then?"

"Now you're talking. But it's also not really a surprise anymore." Jeff called over his shoulder. "You're gonna have to try harder than that to sweep me off my feet."

Nick nodded to himself. He would.

* * *

Though they already knew the outcome, Jeff still dragged Nick to see the list early the next morning, cheering when he saw his name on it. Blaine, who had come along, cheered just as loud as they did. Jeff grabbed Nick into a crushing hug, squeezing him until he was breathless with laughter.

"Congrats, Jeff." He smiled, Jeff finally releasing him.

"Thank you. I wouldn't have gotten in without you." Jeff started, and Nick cut him off.

"No, you would have. You're talented, and you don't give up. It took them a while to realize it, but they did."

Jeff bit his lip against a smile, nodding. "Well, thanks for waking up early to come check the list, then."

Nick nodded, and then more students were peeking at the list, so the trio made their way back down the hall. After Jeff was inducted into the group, time flew by. Jeff and Nick were best friends again. They got to do what they loved everyday. Christmas break rolled around, and Nick didn't even want to leave the campus. Things were going so well. He was happy. He didn't want two weeks away from his friends and the Warblers.

But alas, the time came, and he trudged through the snow to Amy's car with Jeff, as she was giving him a ride home. Dalton was a "long drive" for his parents. Or some other bullshit they told him on the phone. "Thanks for the ride, Amy." Nick said once he got in the car, Jeff piling in beside him.

"Of course lovebug." Amy smiled, beginning the drive home. "How have you been?"

"Good. I wish we could stay." He watched the school disappear out the window, sighing deeply.

Jeff snorted. "Only kid who wants to go to school on Christmas."

Nick gave him a look, and Jeff nodded to show he understood his reasoning. He slid his hand over the seat to be close to Nick's, leaving his palm open in case Nick wanted to take his hand. He did.

"You're welcome to come over anytime." Amy smiled softly. "Except Christmas Day. Jeff's father is visiting."

Jeff's hand pulled from his like lightning. "Dad's coming on Christmas?"

Amy looked slightly uneasy. "Yes. He misses you and your brothers a lot. He has gifts for you."

Jeff read like an open book, and this time was no different. He crossed his arms and moved over so he was pressed to the door, giving himself space. "I don't want anything from him."

"Jeff, please." She said, barely audible. Nick watched the interaction silently. He'd never met Jeff's father, but he hated him with a passion. He still remembered Jeff's bruises. He didn't want him anywhere near Jeff.

Jeff, who had at first protested, now softened. Nick knew he'd obey his mother's wishes. He knew that Jeff didn't want to disappoint her. "Okay." He murmured.

They drove in silence the rest of the way back. Nick held his hand open like Jeff had earlier, offering it to him, but Jeff didn't take it. He stared out the window with his jaw set.

Nick didn't know how to fix this. He thought longingly of Dalton, where everyone was free to be themselves and there was no threat of harm. When he got out of the car, he said his goodbyes to Jeff, and Jeff just nodded, giving a little wave. Nick lugged his duffel bag inside and greeted his parents briefly. His mother was on the phone, and she held a finger to her lips. His father asked him how his grades were. And then the interaction was over.

He shook his head as he went upstairs. He wished that he and Jeff had perfect families. He felt they deserved them. His bedroom was cold and immaculate, and he had the urge to pull his comforter off the bed and sweep everything off his shelves, ruining its pristine appearance. But he didn't. He sat on the edge of his bed and took ten deep breaths. Two weeks, and he'd return to his real home. He prayed he made it that far.

* * *

"I have a Christmas present for you."

Nick smiled when he heard Jeff's voice over the phone, it had been three days since he'd heard it. That might not seem like long, but they were used to seeing eachother everyday. "I have one for you too."

"Mine is the superior gift." Jeff's grin was audible.

"I guess we'll find out. When can I see you?" Nick looked at his calendar. It was Christmas Eve.

"Now? You can sleepover."

"I can't sleepover Jeff, tomorrow is Christmas." Nick laughed softly.

Jeff was silent for a minute. "Maybe I could come over tomorrow then? Later."

He knew Jeff was trying to avoid his dad. He didn't blame him. "Of course."

"Okay, but you should come tonight too. I want you to have this gift."

Nick smiled, nodding slowly. "I'll be there soon."

He hung up, grabbing Jeff's present and putting it in his backpack so he could bike over with it. His parents didn't ask where he was going. He expected that at this point. He biked to Jeff's house and arrived in good time given the icy roads, and Jeff answered the door before Nick had even made it up the porch steps. "I missed you."

Nick laughed, entering the house. "You're dramatic." I missed you too.

The house smelled like cookies, and felt like the heat was on a notch or two too high. But he liked it. "We're exchanging right away." Jeff said excitedly, bounding up the stairs to his room. Nick followed.

"Me first." Nick was already opening his backpack, pulling out Jeff's wrapped gift.

Jeff sighed and smiled, sitting on the bed. "If you insist." He unwrapped it carefully, laughing as he saw the first item. "Clip on tie. You know me too well."

"Now you don't have to complain everyday about the choking grip of societal norms, or whatever you believe your tie symbolizes."

"Thank you." Jeff smiled, putting it beside him on the bed. He pulled out the rest of the present, smiling gently. "A photo album. You cheesy fucker."

Nick laughed, folding his arms. "Look through it." It was filled with photos of the two of them. Amy had helped him track down pictures of them from middle school. Every field trip, every holiday they'd spent together, every adventure Jeff had documented with a disposable camera, it was in there. Along with about fifteen blank pages in the back. "That's to fill with future pictures." Nick explained. "I mean, given you still keep me around."

Jeff smiled widely, studying the pictures closely. "I love this. Thank you." He hugged him tight, and the way they were sitting on the bed made the hug closer. Nick didn't mind that at all. "Okay, now your gift."

Nick pulled away, smiling. "I'm ready."

Jeff handed him a bag. "If you don't like it I can totally get you something else-"

"Shut up, I haven't even looked yet." Nick shushed him, opening the bag and tilting his head. Inside, there was a leather-bound notebook, and a bundle of ink pens. There was also a pitch pipe, and a stack of blank sheet music. "What-"

"It's everything you need to write your own song." Jeff watched him look through the contents. "Last year I got you a gift to remember me when you're famous. This year I'm giving you your first step to fame." It was perfect. It was personal and meaningful and it showed how much Jeff cared. He loved this boy. He was in love with this boy. "Nick?"

Nick realized he'd just been slightly gaping. "I love it." He managed.

"Phew." Jeff laughed. "For a minute there you had me scared." Nick fell silent again. Jeff's cheeks were slightly pink from the house's warmth, and his hair had grown a little too long, falling over his eyes slightly. He was in a ridiculous oversize sweater that's sleeves encased his hands. He wanted to kiss him. "Okay, see, you're giving me the vibe this present was not what you wanted-" Jeff started with a little nervous laughter, and then Nick was saying it and his heartbeat was so loud in his ears he didn't hear the rest of Jeff's sentence.

"I'm gay."

The words hung in the air. He didn't regret them. Jeff blinked. "You're gay?" He nodded slowly, heart still hammering. He knew he should probably explain a bit. But his mouth was dry. Jeff's expression slowly turned to a smile. "Nick… thank you for telling me."

"I- you're my best friend. I wanted you to know." His voice shook, and like always, Jeff's hand was there to hold. He gripped it tightly.

"You're my best friend too. And I love you no matter what. No matter who you like." Jeff said softly, keeping eye contact with him. "Okay? Even if you told me you had a crush on that asshole Brett in our algebra class."

Nick laughed breathlessly, a mixture of released adrenaline and relief. "I don't like Brett."

"Thank God." Jeff was laughing too, and then they were both crying. Nick because he'd finally gotten this thousand pound weight off his chest, and Jeff because… well, Nick didn't know why. But it was strangely intimate, to cry together, and eventually holding hands turned into a hug, where they just held eachother until the tears subsided and Nick felt lighter. "You're really brave, Nick Duval."

He'd done it. He'd come out to the person that really mattered. And he did feel really brave. And Jeff still looked at him the same. And he did end up sleeping over, because the rush of emotion exhausted him, and because he didn't want to let go of his best friend and go back to his museum house. Home was right here, in the place where their fingers stayed tangled together.

* * *

"Wake up, it's Christmas."

"You are a seven year old."

Jeff only grinned. "I want hot chocolate. Come on."

While normally Nick would keep up the banter, today he got up. He wanted to keep Jeff happy today. Somehow. "Fine, fine." He texted his family to say he'd be home that afternoon, but it wasn't a big deal. They were used to having him gone now anyways.

"Merry Christmas!" Jeff yelled when they got downstairs, his little brothers joining in the shouting. Amy laughed and hugged both him and Nick, but she looked tired. Anxious.

"Your father wants you guys to wait to open presents until he gets here." Amy smiled a little. Aaron and Jason complained about the wait, but they were excited to see him. They had been too young when he left to understand why he did. Jeff pretended he hadn't heard.

"Let's make hot chocolate." He urged Nick, and he followed him into the kitchen. Jeff boiled some water, and Nick watched him from the counter.

"We can go to my house when he gets here if you want-"

"Mom says I have to spend time with him." He said shortly. Nick saw the way his fingers tapped the counter nervously.

"I'll stay, then."

Jeff glanced to him gratefully. "I just- what if he's totally different now?"

Nick wasn't as optimistic as Jeff, and he couldn't really fake it. "Maybe."

Jeff made the hot chocolate and poured it into mugs. "Maybe." He repeated quietly. And then the doorbell rang, and Jeff dropped the vulnerability. Nick could practically see him put up walls, like he was retracting into a shell. His heart ached.

"Daddy!" His brothers yelled, and Jeff stayed in the kitchen, stirring the drink he'd already stirred.

"Jeff, come see your father." Amy called, and Jeff walked from the kitchen briskly. Nick followed behind. He'd be right there if Jeff needed him.

When they walked into the living room, Nick was surprised to see that Jeff's father looked… normal. Like Nick's dad, really. Just with less expensive clothes. "There's my Jeff." His father grinned.

Jeff's hesitation was tangible. He didn't make a move to hug him, or even to get closer. "Hey, Dad."

"Present time!" Aaron yelled, breaking the thick silence. Nick brushed his hand over Jeff's and gave him a subtle nod. _You can do this_.

They gathered around the tree to open presents. Jeff's father, Ron, as Nick came to learn, had lots of stories of everything he'd done since he'd been away. Jeff nodded and didn't offer any replies.

Jeff focused his attention on Nick, talking to him while Amy and Ron spoke, and Nick was happy to be his distraction. Until the spotlight was on Jeff again. "So tell me the updates, kid. What's been going on?" Ron smiled.

Jeff smiled a little, shrugging. "Nothing."

"How's school?"

"It's fine."

Jeff was the most talkative person Nick had ever met. It was strange to see him out of his element, giving short answers. "Got a girlfriend yet?"

Jeff shook his head. "Nope."

"A boyfriend, then?"

The room was dead silent. Ron's gaze dragged pointedly to Nick. He wished the floor would open up and swallow him. "No." Jeff said slowly. "Nick is my friend."

Ron pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead. "Good, that was a close one."

Jeff tensed, and Nick felt it. "What?"

"You're not gay. I was worried, that going to that all boys school might turn you." Ron laughed, as if this was casual conversation. Nick felt himself going red. "But that's not how Sterling men roll. You're gonna be just like me and the men before us-"

"I don't want to be anything like you." Jeff said, and Nick brushed his hand over Jeff's leg, trying to subtly calm him. He had never heard Jeff talk with such venom.

"Jeff-" Amy said softly, but Jeff cut her off.

"I think you're disgusting. I thought I'd never have to see you again and I was glad. I hate that I'm related to you. If I grow up to be even slightly like you, tell me so I can off myself."

Nick's mouth opened slightly. Amy was frozen, and Aaron and Jason were mute, trying to gauge the situation. "Jeff, that is no way to speak to your father." Ron said firmly.

Jeff got up, dropping the present he'd been opening carelessly. "You're not my dad." He made a move towards his room, and Ron reached out for his arm. Jeff recoiled so fast he stumbled, throwing up his hands in a practiced defense. The fact that it was second nature made Nick's stomach churn. Ron held his hands up like a surrender.

"I wasn't gonna do anything."

Amy started to cry, which caused Aaron and Jason to cry, and Jeff left the house in a rush. Nick hurried to follow, going out in the cold with him. "Jeff, wait."

Jeff had just a tee and flannel pajama bottoms on, and Nick was dressed similarly. It was freezing, and the wind bit his skin. But he kept up with his friend until they reached the sidewalk, where Jeff sat down and covered his mouth, crying so hard his shoulders shook. Nick sat beside him on the icy pavement and didn't touch him, didn't say anything. Just sat with him until he was done crying. "I'm so fucking stupid."

Nick shook his head. "You were hopeful that he changed, anyone would be. That doesn't make you stupid."

Jeff's wet lashes looked frozen, and his cheeks and nose were chapped. He looked just as beautiful as he had in his bedroom last night. "I'm not gonna be like him. I'm not. I'm not gonna hit anyone. I'm not gonna leave my family. I'm not gonna make my son feel like he fucked up and caused this whole mess."

"You didn't cause anything." Nick whispered, and Jeff rubbed his eyes, starting to shiver.

"I'm sorry he said that. About being gay."

Nick touched Jeff's arm. "Don't apologize for him. You're right, you're not like him. You don't have to take responsibility for his shit."

Jeff moved closer to him, their sides pressing together for warmth. "Still." He muttered. His head rested on Nick's shoulder, and it felt right. They were both comforted by the other's presence. They didn't need to talk about what happened anymore. Nick's heart broke for Jeff; over the fact that he was so used to dodging swings he'd expected one today. He knew Jeff hated that Nick had seen him do it, because it showed just how often his father had been terrible to him, and Jeff never spoke about it. They both had learned about eachother. Nick, and who he loved. Jeff, and who he didn't want to.

Eventually, it got too cold to stay outside, and they went back in, thawing in the living room. His father was nowhere to be seen. They put on an old Christmas movie, and they stayed cuddled up to eachother. For warmth, Jeff had said. Nick pretended like he believed that was the reason, and held his hand.

They had their hot chocolate, and somewhere in the middle of _Rudolph_ , Jeff was snoring, head on his shoulder again. Nick was so caught up in watching Jeff's chest rise and fall he didn't notice Amy come in.

"I'm sorry."

Nick looked up, shaking his head a little. "Jeff is probably the one who needs to hear that."

Amy sank down on the opposite couch, putting her head in her hands. "I couldn't afford Christmas presents this year. Ron told me he'd buy them for the kids if he could stop by and watch them open the gifts." She shook her head, chewing on her thumbnail. "I should've said no. I should've known… he hasn't changed."

Nick knew where Jeff got it from. His hope, his heart. Amy was the spitting image of Jeff in that moment, torn up because she'd seen the best in someone when it wasn't there. Jeff was just like that. "You did what you thought was best."

Amy wiped her eyes, laughing sadly. "You are beyond your years, Nick."

He supposed that could be true. But he'd been a realist since he could walk. "Growing up too fast sucks."

Amy looked at Jeff's sleeping figure. "Jeff grew up too fast."

Nick looked to him as well. "Yeah. But it made him a better person." He thought of Jeff's kindness, and the way he tried to lighten sad situations. The way he respected Nick and listened to him like no other fifteen year old was really capable of.

"You too." Amy said, and Nick smiled a little, nodding slowly. "I know I say it a lot, but you are always welcome, Nick. And we don't share Ron's views here. I want this to be a safe space."

He had thought Amy might think he was gay, and that part confirmed it. But he didn't feel exposed, or scared. Amy was genuine. Nick did feel safe. "Thank you." He said softly.

Amy stood, taking a deep breath and coming over to kiss Jeff's forehead. "Did he like his gift?"

"Loved it. Thanks for your help finding those photos."

Amy waved her hand. "Anything to help. I can't wait to see what other adventures get added to those pages." Nick smiled, rubbing his thumb over Jeff's hand where they were joined under the blanket.

"Me too."

* * *

 **Big milestone for Nick, let me know your thoughts. Next chapter will be set at the start of their sophomore year, so be ready for a little time jump.**

 **I mentioned "The Room Where It Happens" in this chapter, credit goes to Hamilton, I don't own it (Duh).**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey all, sorry for a bit of a wait on this update, the semester has started and I am a lot busier (and more stressed) than this summer! But I have not forgotten about these boys, and there is a lot of this story that still needs to be told. I think this chapter holds a few things you guys have been waiting for, so enjoy!**

 **As always, I don't own Glee (:**

* * *

When Nick looked back on his freshman year, he could say he was proud. He kept perfect grades. He made a large group of friends. He earned respect in the Warblers. He came out to Jeff, and slowly, the rest of the school. He still had obstacles, sure. But overall, the year was a success.

"Maybe this year we'll get lucky and end up roommates." Jeff smiled, wiping sweat from his forehead. It was another blazing Ohio summer, and there was no refuge in Jeff's yard, where they were playing soccer and running through the sprinkler.

"Think the world is that giving?" Nick laughed, kicking the ball at their makeshift goal between two trees. Jeff dove for it, blocking it and adding to his growing gallery of grass stains.

"A man can dream." He got up, leaning against the tree as he caught his breath. "Fuck, it's hot."

Nick smiled, going over and leaning against the opposite tree. "No shit."

Jeff ran through the sprinkler, Nick averting his gaze from where his wet shirt clung to him. That was one of his obstacles. This insatiable crush. He'd tried to shake it, he really had. But how could he, when they were constantly together? Jeff gave him ten more reasons to love him everyday. It was exhausting. "I need a summer fling."

Nick looked over, Jeff standing near the sprinkler still. "A summer fling?"

"Yeah. Something stress free with a girl who is okay with ending things when school starts."

"School starts in a week." Nick pointed out.

Jeff laughed. "I'll have to work fast, then. Know any eligible bachelors?"

"Bachelors means guys, Jeff."

Jeff wiggled his eyebrows, grabbing Nick's hand and pulling him into the water with him. "Well you're single, you can be my fling."

Nick laughed, grateful that his blush would be mistaken for flushed from the heat. "You're not my type." He teased.

"Oh, you're not into hot, funny guys who can dance?" Jeff grinned.

"Maybe I like my guys a touch more modest." He shrugged, Jeff laughing as he pushed him away.

"Guess I'm in the market for a girlfriend, then."

Nick laughed, stepping out of the sprinkler's stream and going to his bike. "Good luck with that. I had to be home ten minutes ago, so if you'll excuse me."

Jeff blew him a kiss as he rode away. "Goodbye, my almost lover."

Nick flipped him off with a smile, then biked home. So the year had been a success. He'd overcome challenges, he'd had a great year. But he had a feeling this year, his crush might be a bigger problem to wrestle with than it used to be. Time would tell.

* * *

"Kurt Hummel?" Nick read his new roommate's name off the paper and sighed. Not Jeff. But hey, he could deal with it. He and Blaine ended up being close. He just had to keep an open mind.

"Hell yeah, I got Blaine!" Jeff grinned. "This is awesome."

Nick huffed. Well that was unfair. He would kill to room with someone he already knew. But he didn't recognize Kurt's name from last year at all. "Lucky."

But after reading their room numbers, he saw they still resided in the same hall. That was a plus. All around him, new and returning students were lugging their bags into their halls, chatting with all the friends they hadn't seen over break. Nick wondered which of them was Kurt.

He and Jeff parted, promising to meet up again after they were settled in, and Nick went into his room with what he hoped was a positive enough mindset. Kurt was already in there. "Hey."

Kurt looked up, smiling a little. "Hey. Nick Duval, I hope?"

"That's me." He returned the smile and dropped his suitcase on the free bed. Okay, first impression, seemed like a nice guy. That was good enough for him.

"Nice to meet you. I have to warn you, this is my first day here, so I might get totally lost." He laughed. He was already in uniform, and Nick could gather he was probably just as concerned with first impressions as he was.

"I can show you around. And introduce you to some people, if you want."

Kurt nodded gratefully. "I would love that."

They returned to unpacking, and Nick took quiet inventory of Kurt's stuff. He had a lot of clothes. Really nice, fashionable clothes. Some of it being the weird sort of trendy stuff you might see in a magazine or a runway. And buried under one of the neatly folded piles, he saw the corner of a pride flag. He was gay.

"Is that a Warblers pin?" Kurt's voice snapped him out of it, and he nodded.

"Oh, yeah."

"I'm gonna try out." Kurt smiled. "I was in the choir at my old school, McKinley High."

Nick vaguely remembered the name. "The New Directions?"

"Yup." Kurt's smile looked a little more sad.

"Why did you leave McKinley?" He had to ask.

Kurt took a deep breath, sort of squaring his shoulders. "They had a problem with who I am. And I don't need to be around that." The way he spoke about it reminded Nick of Blaine. They both were stronger because of what they'd been through, and didn't want to sink again. Wouldn't let anyone pull them down. Nick wanted to be like that.

"This school is a lot better about… acceptance." Nick cleared his throat a little. "I'm gay and I'm out here. No one has a problem with it." It was still strange, to talk about it out loud so casually.

Kurt looked visibly relieved. "Oh. That's definitely reassuring."

He nodded, turning back to his packing. Phew. He'd gotten that out of the way. And there had been no backlash, no nightmare outcome. Although, he probably still had that in store, he had to come out to his parents eventually and there was just no way he saw that going well. He finished his unpacking pretty quickly. He wanted to see Blaine again and catch up, and introduce Kurt to him and Jeff. Because Kurt had gotten a headstart on his unpacking, they finished around the same time and headed down to dinner together.

Jeff and Blaine were at a table near the doors, chatting animatedly. Or rather, Jeff seemed to be telling an involved story and Blaine was listening with a smile. "Oh, hey!" Blaine spoke up when he saw Nick.

Nick smiled and sat down with them. "Hey, Blaine. How was your summer?"

"Amazing. I went to Italy."

He certainly looked like he had vacationed, he was that tanned and glowing look that people had after coming home from a trip. "That's awesome."

"And who is this?" Jeff nodded to Kurt, who was nothing short of staring at Blaine.

"Oh, this is my roommate, Kurt." Nick smiled.

"Hey." Kurt waved, glancing to Jeff a second before looking back to Blaine. It was obvious from the start the two were taken with eachother, Blaine was just as fixated on Kurt.

"I'm Blaine." Blaine smiled, holding out his hand to shake. Kurt took it and held it a bit longer than necessary.

Jeff gave Nick a look, pretending to gag and their sweetness. "I'm Jeff, Blaine's clearly less eye-catching roommate."

Kurt blushed and laughed. "Hey Jeff, nice to meet you."

The four spent the lunch period catching up and learning about Kurt, and the headmaster gave his usual speech. They had to split again to return to their rooms, but Jeff promised he'd find Nick after curfew to hang out.

Kurt and Nick walked back to their dorm, Kurt with a lasting, silly smile on his face.

"You already like him." Nick observed. He had never been one for subtleties, as Jeff had pointed out over and over, but he was just blunt.

Kurt didn't even try to deny it, sitting down on his bed as they entered the room. "I mean, I don't know him well or anything."

"I'm not saying you're in love with the guy." Nick laughed. "You can… appreciate his existence."

"Fair enough. I guess you'd know a thing or two about it."

"About what?"

"You know. Pining." Kurt teased, but his voice was soft. "If it was obvious that I like Blaine, it's three times as obvious that you have a thing for Jeff, and I only saw you two interact once."

Usually Nick denied it. Or he changed the subject. But this time… "But nothing can happen. So."

"Why not?" Kurt crossed his arms.

Nick blinked. "'Cause- well, he doesn't- he's straight."

Kurt shrugged, getting up to change out of his uniform. "I don't know. What's the worst that could happen from confessing your feelings?"

"Where do I start?"

"You're too cynical." Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "I say give it a shot."

Nick huffed. "It's just not that easy."

"Isn't it?"

Kurt flicked his light off, leaving Nick to sit with the question. He mulled it over, studying his bedspread in the dim light of his bedside table lamp. It wasn't that easy. Because he was terrified of losing him. And he didn't want to risk it. The chances of Jeff reciprocating his feelings… they were practically zero. So why make a fool of himself? Why ruin what they had? Admitting to his secret would be what his mother called 'impractical'. He allowed himself a few moments of pity, he thought he deserved at least a little. And then he got up and headed to Jeff's room. With every step, his heart beat faster. And he couldn't figure it out, as he walked the length of the hallway. But then he realized- subconsciously, he wanted to tell Jeff. Somewhere deep inside his brain, he was thinking there was a small possibility he'd tell Jeff tonight. Like a strange instinct that bothered at his heart and his mind. What if he did tell Jeff tonight? What if he just took this weight off his shoulders right now? He thought of how often his mother's idea of "impractical" was actually the right thing to do, and did he want to be living with her influence, her mindset? How long could he shelter himself, how long had he already? What if-

"Fuck, you scared me."

Somehow in the midst of his thoughts he'd made it to Jeff's door, and his hand was still poised to knock, but Jeff had beaten him to answering. "Sorry." Nick said, and his hand stayed up a second longer than necessary. He dropped it awkwardly.

"Can we walk?" Jeff asked, and it was the tone of voice that he said it in that caught Nick's attention. It was a forced sort of casual. It was too breezy to be natural.

"Yeah." Nick nodded, and all of his own anxiety seemed to melt away. His attention shifted to Jeff, to reading his body language, to bracing himself to handle any situation about to come.

They walked in silence down the hall, and out of the building. Nick stayed quiet, not knowing whether it was appropriate to break the silence. Jeff was always the one who initiated the conversations. Nick had learned to take his cues from him, and now he felt off, because he couldn't read him.

"Don't you think they should put up more lights? I hate the dark." Jeff said, kicking a pebble down the path they were following.

"Jeff Sterling, scared of the dark?" Nick teased gently, quick to step on the little rock and kick it back.

Jeff smiled at the defense, finding a bigger rock and kicking it up with the tip of his sneaker. "Didn't say I was scared, Duval. I said I hated it."

"The reason most people hate things is because they're scared of it." Nick countered.

"Like my dad being homophobic because he's scared I'll turn out gay."

Nick didn't have to agree, they knew he was right. They heard the rock Jeff kicked land in the distance, and the night was suddenly dead silent. "Let's go somewhere with more lights. The dark is kinda scary." Nick nodded, and the two of them walked to the lacrosse field, where the stadium lights were still on.

They clambered up the bleachers, Jeff with more elegance than Nick, and sat at the very top. The school's windows were lit up a warm yellow color, and Nick realized that he was cold. His anxiety beforehand had heated his system, but now as they sat in cool quiet, he started to feel the chill. Jeff must have too, because he moved closer, so their shoulders were touching. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Nick laughed a little. "You know I haven't."

Jeff shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe there was something you weren't telling me."

Nick went to protest that, to say he'd never keep something from him. But he was a hypocrite. "Why do you ask?"

"Well… I was just wondering how you knew you were gay. If it wasn't from- you know. Experience." Jeff picked at a thread on his jeans, and Nick couldn't help but notice how badly the cuffs were fraying. But that was a worry for another time.

"I don't know. You just feel it." He ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, that's a shitty explanation. But it's true. You just know, one day. You realize, and it's… things in the past add up. And the future you picture, you can't see yourself with a girl."

"I can see myself with a girl." Jeff cut in.

Nick laughed. "Well, duh. You're straight."

Jeff pulled at the thread until it snapped off, clearly frustrated. "But those aren't the only options, right? There's gotta be more, there has to be in-betweens. Grey areas. You know? It's not just gay or straight."

Nick shook his head. "Well, yeah. There's a lot of different labels. Sexuality is a spectrum."

"A spectrum." Jeff repeated, his shoulders seeming to relax a little. "Right. You can be in the middle somewhere."

"Yeah." Nick studied him, not knowing if he should push it further. "Do you- fall in the middle?"

Jeff wound his thread around his finger until it turned purple. "Yeah. I mean-" He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he nodded, loosening the thread. "Yes."

Nick rested his hand over Jeff's. "You know that's okay, right?"

Jeff nodded, looking at their hands. "I didn't think about it until you came out. Because I've always had feelings for girls. So that's just- I just went with that. It was easy to. And then I started…" He paused. "Thinking that way about guys. But I knew I liked girls, I knew I wasn't gay. So I was just confused. I felt like… I don't know. Suspended in this weird middle where I'm just trying to justify either side."

Nick listened carefully. His thumb brushed over Jeff's swollen finger idly. "You can like girls and guys. It doesn't mean your feelings for either are less… real."

Jeff leaned against him, half enveloping Nick in his soft cotton sweatshirt. "You're really good at making me feel sane."

"You're really good at driving me crazy." He murmured, lacing his fingers with Jeff's and watching as the lights in Dalton's windows went out one by one.

Jeff laughed softly, jostling him. "I'm taking that as a compliment."

"I meant it to be."

They didn't need to fill the silence anymore, and they sat there until the stadium lights blacked out. Nick would admit his feelings another time. Tonight had been enough. Tonight had been a lot of things. As they sat together, leaned against eachother and hands intertwined, it was enough.

* * *

"So, tell us. Are you and Hummel an item now?"

Nick, Jeff, and Blaine were all sitting on the floor of Nick's room, playing cards. Well, half playing cards, mostly trying to get Blaine to spill any details about Kurt.

Blaine just laughed. "I've known him like, two weeks. Talked to him maybe a handful of times."

"So what? If you don't tap that ass, someone else will." Jeff flipped Nick off when he tried to peek at his cards. "And I volunteer."

"Very funny." Blaine rolled his eyes. It hadn't taken Jeff a long time to come out to the rest of the Warblers, many had already suspected he was not straight. He'd never been shy about his fake flirting with Nick, or even with other Warblers. So at their last meeting, he'd casually come out. By singing 'Everyone is Gay', and then finishing with, "I like girls and guys. So lucky for you fellas, I'm on the market", which an upperclassmen had been forced to include in the official minutes.

"I'm serious." Jeff said, and Nick elbowed his side. "Not about stealing your man." Jeff corrected, rubbing his side as he laughed. "I mean about taking control. Not hanging back. Taking a chance. Insert more motivational crap here."

Blaine nodded slightly, studying his cards even though he only had a couple in his hand. "Mhm. Okay. I'll ask him out. But only because I'm giving in to peer pressure."

"Always give into peer pressure, Anderson. All the cool kids are doing it." Jeff snorted, laying down a row of cards. "Read it and weep."

Kurt entered as Blaine and Nick groaned, tossing their cards and pushing their sad collection of crumpled dollar bills in Jeff's direction. Nick would never tell him, but he'd been holding a better hand of cards than Jeff. He hadn't laid it down though. Sure, the pool of money at stake was only ten dollars. But that could go a long way. And Blaine and Nick didn't need it like Jeff did. "Hey, am I missing a good game?" Kurt smiled.

"It was a good game. 'Til I drained them." Jeff grinned, waving his handful of money before shoving it in his pocket.

"He was distracting us." Nick defended, smiling to himself.

Kurt nodded, putting his bag down on the bed. "Excuses excuses." He teased, and then there was a brief silence, which Jeff broke by clearing his throat comically loudly.

"Blaine, didn't you have something to say? A question or something?"

If looks could kill, Blaine's ended Jeff on the spot, and he forced a smile. "I don't recall."

"I'm pretty sure I remember you saying you had to ask someone something." Jeff feigned thinking hard. "But who?"

"I think it was Kurt." Nick played his part with a half-apologetic glance in Blaine's direction. Sure, they were putting him on the spot. But sometimes you just needed a push.

Kurt crossed his arms, tilting his head. "What is it?"

Blaine's cheeks were tinted, and he laughed a little. "Oh, I remember now. There's a party tonight. Some upperclassman is hosting it at his parents' house when they're away. Maybe- we could all go together?"

"Why is that a question just for me?" Kurt laughed, and Nick could see he was hopeful.

"I mean- I don't know if it's the kind of thing you bring dates to. It's just gonna be a bunch of drunk highschool kids, not really romantic. So maybe we should just forget the whole thing-" Blaine rambled, and Jeff was quick to step in.

"Sounds like my kind of event, can't wait. Double date, sounds awesome. This will be great!" Jeff spoke before anyone could protest. Double date, he'd said.

"Sure." Kurt nodded, taking on his own blush. Jeff and Blaine left in a hurry, Jeff ushering Blaine out the door before he could cancel the plan.

"Meet you guys there, see ya!" And then they were gone, and Nick was still rooted to the spot. He'd called it a double date.

"What just happened?" Kurt voiced his thoughts, and Nick laughed a little.

"Blaine asked you out."

"And Jeff asked you." Kurt supplied, but Nick shook his head.

"He was kidding. Or playing the wingman." He waved his hand dismissively. "He's like that."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't overthink it. I mean, it's no candlelit dinner for two. But that's good for us, right? We can start casual. Very casual. With a few drinks to… lessen the anxiety."

Nick nodded, though he was skeptical. "I guess."

"I'm gonna get ready." Kurt took a deep breath, meaning that getting ready would be at least a multiple hour process. Nick retired to his bed, intending to work on homework until they had to meet up with their friends, but he was much too distracted. He didn't know what to think about this. Yeah, Jeff had always been teasing him, making jokes about being in a relationship. But at the time, he'd never known there was a chance Jeff was not kidding. And now… well, now he didn't know anymore. But he supposed he'd find out tonight.

* * *

High school parties were loud. Very loud. At least, this one was. The house was packed with kids, most were recognizable from Dalton, but there were a lot of people he didn't know as well. A lot of girls from Country Day, he assumed. The second he entered, he was offered a cup, and he took it, putting it down on the next table he passed. He wanted to find Jeff.

"It smells sweaty in here." Kurt said from behind him as they moved through the house.

Nick laughed. "That's an accurate description." It also smelled like booze, and cologne. "Did Blaine text you they're here or anything?" Nick asked, but there was no need, because he spotted them a second later, standing with some other Warblers.

"There they are!" Jeff cheered when he saw them, putting his arm around Nick and pulling him into his side. He looked good, in this pink shirt he'd never seen on him, and dark jeans. He always looked good.

Blaine gave Kurt a shyer smile, and the two separated from the group a bit. Jeff and Nick did the same, but that was normal for them, to stick to eachother. "Looks like our plan worked." Nick said, and Jeff looked over to where Kurt and Blaine were talking with a grin.

"We are the love whisperers." He teased, offering Nick a sip from his cup.

He hesitated, then took it, taking a drink from it and trying not to make a face. "That's disgusting, what is it?"

Jeff shrugged. "I don't know." He tipped the rest of it back anyways. "But it makes stuff like this a lot more fun."

Jeff had gone to some parties in freshman year, Nick had always politely declined. It wasn't his scene. Luckily it hadn't been Blaine's either, so he wasn't alone. "So a double date." Nick brought up, teasing him. "I'm honored."

Jeff laughed. "As you should be, my standards are extremely high." He teased back. It was impossible to tell if he was serious.

"Should I update my status, then?" Nick joked, and Jeff must have been a few drinks in, because he was slightly moving to the beat, attention landing somewhere else. Although, that was usually Jeff's regular personality.

"Fuck, this song is good. Why are we not dancing?" Jeff pulled on his hand, and Nick shook his head.

"Because I'm way too sober."

Jeff smiled, tilting his head. "Aw, come on. Dance with me." It was tempting. Jeff in front of him with his hand outstretched, fringe brushing the tops of his lashes and shirt unbuttoned a bit. Come on, Nick. It didn't have to be scary. It didn't have to be weird, he was overanalyzing in his head. "Nick?" Jeff laughed, stepping back. "If you're not in the dancing mood-"

Nick grabbed a cup off the nearby shelf and downed the contents. It burned the whole way down. "No, let's dance."

Jeff cheered, dragging him into the group of people that were a little more uninhibited. It wasn't a club, there wasn't a ton of dancing. But it was more a circle of drunk people moving to the way-too-loud music. Nick both loved and hated it. Jeff was the only one that was actually dancing well, very well, and their classmates watched him, clapping and joining in. Jeff was the kind of person that made everyone start dancing, livening up a party just by being himself.

By the time they were reunited again, Jeff was a bit messier from the drinks, but still as magnetic as always. "Where have you been hiding these moves, Duval?" Jeff said over the music, his hand resting on Nick's waist.

"Says you, King of the Dancefloor." Nick laughed.

"I've never hidden my skills, though." Jeff grinned, and when his hips brushed Nick's, he felt it. Between the alcohol and the closeness, Nick couldn't focus at all.

"You don't hide anything, do you?" Nick moved his hand to Jeff's chest, matching his rhythm. He wondered if he could feel Jeff's heartbeat under his shirt, or if it was just the bass.

"Everyone hides things." Jeff laughed, pressing a little closer to him as people passed. He'd had more to drink than Nick.

"Not you."

"Yes, me." Jeff countered, smiling widely. "I just tell you the most."

"What haven't you told me, then?" Nick tilted his head, his heart racing at the prospect of the answer he might hear.

"That you look really good in blue." He said, tugging gently on Nick's collar. "And I like your hair messy." He ran his fingers through Nick's hair, ruffling it a little.

It must be his heart and not the bass now. He felt it to the tips of his toes. "Anything else?"

"I think I want to kiss you."

Jeff's eyes were half-lidded, regarding Nick with a look that made his stomach flutter. He wanted to kiss him, too. But even after the riskier things he'd said tonight, he couldn't make himself say that. "You're drunk."

"Barely." He held his fingers an inch apart, smiling again. But Nick knew that it wasn't the time or place for this. What if Jeff didn't remember it in the morning?

"We should head back to the dorms."

Jeff laughed, slipping his hand into Nick's. "And you'll kiss me then?"

Nick's heart was at war. "Where are Kurt and Blaine?" Jeff either didn't notice, or didn't comment on Nick dodging the question, and looked around for their friends.

They finally found them, sitting close on the couch, talking and laughing and letting their hands wander a bit. "Hey guys!" Jeff said enthusiastically, nearly tripping.

Kurt smiled. "Hey, Jeff. Feeling good?"

"So good." Jeff smiled, leaning on Nick.

Blaine got up with Kurt. "Are we heading back now?" Neither of them seemed drunk, and Nick's buzz was barely there. Jeff was a little different, though.

"We should stay, let's stay." Jeff grinned.

"I think we're all exhausted, Jeff." Nick laughed, pushing him towards the door, Kurt and Blaine following.

"That's so boring." Jeff groaned.

Blaine smiled, taking Jeff's hand and towing him to his car. "I'll drive this one back, Kurt can drive you."

"Don't let go, Nick!" Jeff squeezed his hand, voice dramatic as he channeled Titanic.

"I'll see you soon." Nick promised, laughing as Jeff reluctantly disentangled their fingers, Blaine ushering him into the car.

"I'll see you at the dorms." Blaine smiled, more towards Kurt than Nick, and the group split to drive towards the school.

Nick buckled into Kurt's passenger seat quietly. "You two seem closer."

Kurt smiled, starting to drive with a dreamy expression. "He's… I really like him. A lot."

"You're in luck, you've got him where you want him." Nick laughed softly, watching Blaine's car as they followed it.

"I mean, it's never that simple, is it? Even if we both like eachother."

He breathed out, nodding. "Fair point."

"Did Jeff confirm if it was a date or not?" Kurt asked, glancing to him.

"Ah- no. He was a little distracted." He almost told him what Jeff had said, but decided last minute he wanted to keep it to himself.

"You guys will get your chance." Kurt said surely. "Yeah, love is never simple. But I didn't say it wasn't possible."

Nick considered that as they headed back. Was it possible? The odds seemed so stacked. Like they'd get so close to what Nick wanted and then pull away like the tide. It was as frustrating as it was addicting.

When they got to the dorms, they helped Blaine keep Jeff on the right track going down the hallway, laughing as he said whatever popped into his head. Until it wasn't as funny anymore. "Guys, Nick won't kiss me."

Both Blaine and Kurt immediately turned to Nick with eyebrows raised. "What?"

"He looks damn good, right? Anyone with eyes would want to. Kiss him." Jeff looked to Nick, his same lopsided smile was there, as if he wasn't drunk, as if this was really Jeff speaking. It wasn't, he was drunk, Nick reminded himself.

"Maybe he'll want to in the morning." Kurt suggested. Nick said nothing, and he knew he was blushing hard.

"I hope so. I don't think he knows that I like him." Jeff had lowered his voice to a "whisper" that wasn't really a whisper at all.

And then Nick was the one who felt drunk. Jeff liked him? Jeff felt the same way? He looked at Kurt and Blaine to see if they heard it too, and judging by their expressions, they had.

"Well, you should tell him. Tomorrow." Blaine smiled, pulling him towards their room.

"Sure. I'll tell him and anyone that will listen." Jeff laughed loudly, head tipping back. Nick had to lean against the wall to process it. How long had he felt that way? Why? When? How did it happen?

"I told you it was possible." Kurt said simply, letting himself into their room.

Nick followed blindly, smile growing. "We should go to parties more often."

Kurt laughed and shook his head, getting stuff to shower and leaving Nick to fall into bed like a lovestruck cartoon character. Tomorrow Jeff would tell him. Tomorrow, they could be together. Tomorrow, this waiting, this _pining_ would end. He could hardly fall asleep. Jeff liked him. Somehow. He'd never doubt miracles again. If this worked out, if he finally could tell Jeff in return what he'd been feeling for years…

It took hours to fall asleep, but he did it, and his dreams were laced with messy hair and pulsing music, scented like booze and cologne.

* * *

 **This update was definitely a lot shorter than the last, but regardless, I hope you enjoyed it! I will try my hardest to bring the next update faster. Reviews keep me going, so those are appreciated! xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**So this is the quickest update I've done in a while, I don't know how I managed it. This chapter brings someone new I've been waiting to enter in to this story, so leave your thoughts in the reviews? x**

 **As always, I don't own Glee.**

* * *

"You need to relax."

The morning after the party brought a headache and anxiety. He hadn't had too much to drink, but the music had been loud, and he woke with his temples throbbing. "How am I supposed to relax, Kurt? I'm terrified."

Kurt smiled. "Why? Jeff admitted that he likes you." He was perched at his desk, doing his skincare routine. Nick couldn't be that perky, not today.

"People say a lot of things they don't mean when they're drunk." Nick huffed, taking some aspirin and checking the time. It was Saturday, so the Warblers were going to meet for breakfast in the dining hall before an early rehearsal. Jeff would be there, and needless to say, Nick was nervous.

"Or they say things they never had the guts to say sober." Kurt pointed out, leaning closer to his mirror to rub some kind of cream into his skin.

"Jeff has always had the guts to say everything." Nick denied, though he knew that wasn't true.

Kurt smiled at him in the mirror. "I have hope for you two."

"Well of course, you and Blaine are smitten with eachother, I'm a hopeless cynic." He half-teased.

He laughed and got up to wash his face of the cream. "I'm not above saying I told you so when you guys get together."

Nick only shook his head, going to breakfast with him once he was ready. Most of the Warblers had already arrived, talking and laughing loudly, occasional notes of harmony as they were known to do. He spotted Jeff easily, he was the only one with white-blonde hair, and slipped into the empty space beside him. The Warblers knew that they'd sit next to eachother. "How's the hangover?"

Jeff groaned in response, leaning against him. "Have you ever known what it feels like to get your head smacked with a golf club? Because if you ever wondered how bad that hurts, whatever was in those drinks will give you a sample of it."

Nick laughed, stealing some of his bacon. "Ouch. I'm sure an extended weekend rehearsal is exactly what you need."

Jeff pouted. "How dare you remind me."

"Speaking of reminders, any memory of last night?" Nick said, hopefully breezily. His question got a few Warblers' attention, he was sure some of them had seen them dancing last night. Jeff laughed a little, starting to answer, but then he was interrupted.

"Can I sit here?"

Everyone's eyes went to the newcomer, a tall kid with upswept brown hair, and green eyes. There was a brief silence. "Sure." Jeff said, motioning to the empty seat across from himself.

Wes, this year's head council member, gave Jeff a look. "Usually this is sort of- a grouping for just the Warblers."

The new addition laughed, taking a seat. "Perfect, I was planning on joining. I'm Sebastian Smythe, I just transferred here. I'm sure a few of you know that already?"

A few Warblers nodded that they did recognize him. "How would we know that?" Kurt spoke up.

"Oh, I was a lead in Ransom Notes."

Blaine's head nearly turned all the way around. "You were in the Ransom Notes? I recognize you now!"

"Where is that group from?" Someone asked, and Blaine answered before Sebastian could say it.

"Vermont. They're so good. Don't you guys keep up on the stats?"

They looked around at eachother. "No Blaine, we have sex lives." Jeff said, Blaine flipping him off and turning back to his breakfast, Kurt suppressing a laugh as he comforted him.

"Well, we still require an audition for new recruits." Wes nodded, and Sebastian waved his hand dismissively.

"Not a problem. Just tell me when and where."

Nick got an arrogant sort of vibe from this guy. Of course, there were a handful of guys here who acted the same, they were a pretty expensive private school, after all. But still. He glanced to Jeff so they could roll their eyes together, but Jeff's attention was on Sebastian.

"Why'd you come here from Vermont?" Jeff asked, tilting his head.

"The guys are hotter." Sebastian teased, keeping Jeff's eye contact. Okay, Nick definitely did not like this guy.

"But the real reason." Jeff laughed, shaking his head.

Sebastian shrugged. "I'd love to share it over lunch sometime."

The Warblers didn't even try to hide the way they stared at them, looking between Jeff and Nick. Jeff laughed a little. "Ah- sure. Sounds great."

Was he imagining it, or was Jeff blushing a little bit? "Great, I'll text you." Sebastian slid his phone over to Jeff, who put his number in. "It was nice meeting you all." Sebastian stood with his half-empty plate, winking before he left. It was clear he'd only planned to stay sitting until he got what he wanted. And he got it.

Nick looked miserably down at the table, and he knew the Warblers noticed it. Conversation resumed, and they kept trying to engage him in it, but he couldn't play along. "Are you gonna text him?" Someone asked Jeff, and Nick could hear him get silently scolded by a Warbler that knew their situation.

"I mean, he's got my number, so I guess it's a waiting game." Jeff laughed, though Nick could tell by the way he tapped his fork on his plate he was nervous.

"Let's not waste more time, it's time to rehearse." Wes spoke up, and they moved to the choir room together, Nick hanging towards the back. Kurt gave him a sympathetic look that said, 'we'll talk at the dorm'.

Rehearsal started, and usually Nick was front and center with Blaine, singing and even directing the others. But today he took a spot in the back. Jeff frowned at him, and Nick motioned that he didn't feel well.

"I'm gonna walk Nick back, he doesn't feel so hot." Jeff stopped rehearsal, and the Warblers knew Nick was lying, but didn't have the heart to call him out.

"Feel better, Nick. These things don't last." Blaine laid the double meaning on thick, and Nick could only nod, leaving the room with Jeff.

"Is it your stomach? A headache?" Jeff asked, pressing his hand to Nick's forehead for temperature. "No hotter than usual." He joked, and Nick nearly cried.

He felt so stupid. He knew he shouldn't have even dwelled on the possibility of them working out for a second. Of course they'd never be together. Nick wasn't good enough for him. And he didn't even say he liked Jeff, how did he expect something to start? He'd missed his chance. He blew it. "I just don't feel good."

Jeff nodded, and he was just like his mother when he got protective, wanting to care for him. "Okay, well you'll be able to lie down soon. I'll stay with you, if you want."

Of course he wanted that. "No, I'm fine. You should go back to rehearsal. You need it." He joked half heartedly, and Jeff laughed, going into Nick's room with him and pulling back the covers on his bed.

"I hate you. Get some rest."

Nick got into bed, rolling his eyes when Jeff made a show of tucking him in up to his chin. "I hate you back."

"Awe, I hate you more." Jeff cooed, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Sleep tight. Don't puke on the floor, Hummel will have your head."

He knew the gesture was a joke, but his heart still beat fast, breaking a little more. "See you later."

Jeff blew him a kiss, leaving the room. Nick stared at the ceiling. Be rational, Nick. Jeff and Sebastian only interacted once, they haven't even texted eachother yet. Stop being overdramatic. After a few minutes, he was able to talk himself down. He was being ridiculous. Jeff would never date an arrogant prick like Sebastian. Jeff hated snobs. There was nothing to worry about. He ended up falling asleep, chanting his new mantra in his head. There was nothing to worry about. There was nothing to worry about.

* * *

"Fuck you, I know you look up cheat codes online!"

"You're just bitter you're losing, as always."

Jeff and Blaine were in the middle of heated trash talk as they played some video game in the dorm's tiny lounge area, Kurt and Nick sitting behind them on the couch. It had been a few days since the party now, and Nick knew that Sebastian and Jeff had been texting, and that they were texting a lot. It made his heart ache and his stomach physically hurt. He didn't know this kind of pain could be physical, but it was there in his tension headaches, in the tightness in his chest. His regret was cold in his stomach.

"Invested in the game?" Kurt asked, addressing the way Nick was staring blankly at the television.

"Yeah." He murmured, gaze falling to the back of Jeff's head. Maybe if he stared hard enough, he'd see his thoughts.

Kurt smiled a little. "You know, I have a friend I can set you up with. He's really cute and sweet, he seems like your type."

"Get it, Nick." Jeff cut in, but he seemed to be distracted by the comment, turning from the game long enough for Blaine to kill his character.

"I- that's okay." Nick shook his head. He was planning on pining after Jeff for the rest of his life, thank you very much.

Jeff was watching him. "Why not?"

Nick met his gaze for a second. "I'm just- I'm okay being single right now."

Jeff looked disappointed, turning back to the TV. Kurt elbowed Nick, widening his eyes, trying to silently communicate something he wasn't getting.

After a minute of trying to get his message across, he gave up, texting him. 'Nick! Tell him you like him!'

Nick made a face at the text message. 'Why would I do that? He likes someone else.'

'He likes YOU idiot. He's probably trying to move on because he thinks you're not interested!' Kurt made expressions at him while he texted, and Jeff turned and caught him mid-dramatics.

"Talking about me?"

Nick laughed. "You wish."

Jeff grabbed for Nick's phone. "You guys so are! If you are bashing my Call of Duty skills in these texts I'm not your best friend anymore."

Nick dodged him easily. "We don't need to bash you, you're visibly horrible at it."

"I hate you." Jeff laughed, jumping on the couch to reach for his phone again. "How dare you dishonor me!"

Kurt quickly got off the couch to avoid Jeff's limbs, giving Nick a panicked look. He couldn't read those messages. "Get off me." Nick laughed, trying to shove the phone underneath himself.

Jeff threw his knee over his waist, pretty much sitting on him. "I watch a lot of WWE, you don't know what you're up against."

"Feels like I'm not up against a whole lot." Nick motioned to the front of Jeff's pants against his leg, and Blaine snorted as Jeff gasped.

"Okay, now it's personal." Jeff reached underneath him for the phone, and Nick imagined that Jeff could feel how his heart was racing, both with the fear of getting caught and their current compromising position.

"You'll never get it!" Nick laughed breathlessly, trying not to focus on Jeff's weight on top of him.

Jeff laughed and finally gave up, collapsing on top of him, chest-to-chest with him. "You're the worst."

"I think you love me."

"I do love you."

For a minute they just laid there, catching their breath. Kurt and Blaine had disappeared from the room. He could smell Jeff's cologne. He could see his lashes catching the sun. The TV was a low sound in the background. And he loved Jeff Sterling. "Well, I love you too."

"I know."

He felt Jeff's fingers brush his side, and his eyes fluttered closed. He could tell him right now. He could be with him. There was a chance for them, there could be. "About Sebastian-"

"I wanted to talk to you about that." Jeff sat up.

Nick breathed in, sitting up as well. "Oh. Yeah, okay."

"He invited me to his dorm tonight. I guess his roommate will be out." Jeff bit his lip. "I don't know what to do."

It felt like his heart was a popped balloon. He felt it deflating in his chest. "Well- do you want to go?"

"Yeah. I don't know. Yes." Jeff sighed. "But I've never done anything with a guy. What if he makes a move? He's had a lot of experience."

He shrugged. He wanted to say that Jeff shouldn't go, that they should stay laying together on this couch until the sun came up. "Do what you're comfortable with. And if he's decent, he'll stop when you want him to. Although I can already tell he doesn't deserve you."

Jeff laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not so great, Nick."

"Yes you are."

He took Nick's hand, squeezing it. "So I should go?"

They held eye contact, and Nick never wanted to let go of his hands. No, don't go. Stay with me. I mean it, I love you. "You should go."

Something odd passed over Jeff's expression. Nick couldn't place it. It was the same face he'd made when Kurt had mentioned setting Nick up. Something akin to disappointment. "Okay."

Nick smiled tightly, and he pulled away first. "I gotta go get my homework done. Have fun tonight."

Jeff nodded, returning the same smile. "Mhm."

Nick left, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. He didn't know why he was like this. He didn't know why he couldn't just _say_ what he was feeling. He didn't know why he was so damn terrified of being anything close to vulnerable. He was just as stony as his parents. Just as cold, just as empty. If he carried on like this, pushing people away, he'd end up in a museum house of his own, and there'd be no Jeff to bring the light in. He wouldn't have anybody warm. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt the hot tears on his cheeks, and he didn't make it to his room, ducking into the library and just letting himself cry. He cried until his eyes were itchy and sore, and his hands hurt from his white-knuckled fists of frustration. He cried until he was physically exhausted, and his shirt was damp with tears. He cried until his head was pounding, and he fell asleep in an armchair, cool leather against his cheek as he slipped into a black sleep where he didn't dream anything and didn't move a muscle.

* * *

Kurt told him crying was bad for the skin around his eyes.

"They'll be swollen. Get some cold spoons and press them there, it'll help."

Nick let Kurt put cold spoons over his eyes. He let Kurt have a Twilight movie marathon with him. He let Kurt believe he was fixing him. But he felt like a shell of a person.

The next days, the next _weeks_ were torture. Sebastian made the Warblers. He was really good, Nick would never admit it. He unabashedly flirted with Jeff through every rehearsal, and Jeff flirted back, saying it was 'just fun' and that they weren't actually dating.

Until they were dating. Jeff had called Nick when he and Sebastian became official. Breathless, Jeff had said that they'd been kissing, and Sebastian said there's no one else he'd rather be with. Nick could see why. Jeff was happy, it seemed, and neither were the type to hide their PDA, Sebastian even more forward than Jeff, which was saying something. Every kiss Nick witness chipped off a piece of his heart that he was sure he'd never get back.

Nick's demeanor changed. He felt it, and the Warblers noticed it. Not Jeff, though. Jeff was caught up in other things. He felt the distance between them grow, and he didn't try to mend it. Nick went about his days doing exactly what he had to and nothing more, reassuring everyone that he was okay. He had his script memorized.

 _Yes, I'm fine. Jeff and I have always just been friends. Really, I'm fine._

But this front was hard to keep up with, and he still felt the guilt when he remembered the night Blaine asked him if he was _sure_ he was okay, and Nick strayed from his script.

 _Of course I'm not fucking okay, Blaine, Jesus Christ. And if anyone asks me again, I don't know what I'll do. I can't take you guys up my ass anymore. Just fucking leave it alone, leave me alone. I just want to be left alone._

Blaine took the not so subtle hint. He stopped asking if he was okay, and he must've spread the word, because the Warblers stopped too. So for three weeks and five days after Jeff and Sebastian got together, Nick barely went out, and he stopped being invited. Instead of asking him if he wanted to see the others, or go to eat or to a party or anything, Kurt just gave him a sympathetic smile and said his own script, which was;

 _This'll pass. We're all here for you._

Nick would nod and not look up from his homework, because he didn't care anymore. It was very strange. To go from caring so much and hurting so bad, to just… not. And he hated himself for getting so low. He didn't want to be the clichè, heartbroken mourner. Wasn't he stronger than that? But it was more than just his heart. It was all the things that stemmed from what happened. How he started hating himself for his fear of everything. How he saw himself losing all his friends, and something sick inside him didn't give a fuck. He felt he was becoming more and more like his father everyday. He didn't have the energy to even hate that anymore.

Four weeks and two days after Jeff and Sebastian got together, he got a text from Jeff. It used to not be a rarity. But now it was.

To: Nick 10:47 PM

are you up?

To: Jeff 10:54 PM

Yeah.

To: Nick 11:04 PM

can we meet up?

To: Nick 11:21 PM

on the bleachers at the lax field

To: Nick 11:39 PM

ok im going there now so come if you want to

Nick watched each message come in. He hadn't hung out with Jeff in weeks, aside from the group setting of Warblers rehearsal. But Sebastian was there. He was always there, brainwashing everyone with his stupid, smirky charm. His heart ached to see Jeff alone, with no one to get in the way, but at the same time he wasn't sure what he'd say when they were just by themselves.

"Please go." Kurt said from his bed, looking to Nick. How he knew, Nick didn't know. But he got up wordlessly, stepping into his shoes and leaving the room. The air outside was freezing, it was well into November now, but he hadn't grabbed a jacket. He didn't plan on staying long.

He made his way up the trail, and he wondered if Jeff had been scared walking up here in the dark alone. Jeff hated the dark. He soon saw the stadium lights, and walked onto the field and up the bleachers where he saw Jeff sitting on the top row, right where they'd sat last time.

"Where the fuck is your jacket?" Jeff said in place of hello.

"Back in the dorm."

He sat beside Jeff, not as close as they were last time. "Well, aren't you cold?"

"No." Nick muttered, playing with the hems of his sleeves.

Jeff sighed, unzipping his jacket and draping it over Nick's shoulders. "Lucky for you, I have a sweater on, so I can save your dumb ass by giving you my jacket."

Nick wanted to shake it off, to throw it over the bleachers. "Thanks." He said in place of all that.

They sat in silence, Jeff looking up at the moon, Nick staring at the field. "I miss you."

A bitter laugh escaped Nick's mouth. "Bullshit."

Jeff looked at him. "What?"

"We've hardly talked in a month."

"That's why I miss you." Jeff frowned.

"That's not how it works. You have to make an effort before you miss someone. You never reached out."

"Because you seemed like a ticking time bomb, you wouldn't let anyone near you and wouldn't even explain why!" Jeff protested.

Nick pulled Jeff's jacket tight around himself. "Is it not fucking obvious, Jeff?"

"No!" Jeff laughed breathlessly. "It's not! You stopped talking to everyone, you don't leave your room, I wasn't ignoring you, I was giving you your space because I have no idea how to act around you anymore."

"Join the club." Nick wiped his tears angrily. He wasn't even angry at Jeff. He was just _angry_. At life, at their situation, at everything that led them to this point.

Jeff touched his leg, and Nick recoiled. "Talk to me."

"About what?" Nick ignored Jeff's hurt expression when he pulled away, vision blurry with tears.

"About what's been going on with you. Please, you're my best friend." Jeff whispered. "I'm worried about you."

Nick wiped his eyes, anger draining from him as quickly as it had come on. It was strange how it could work that way. How fast he could work himself up and then revert back. "I miss you too." He finally said.

"I've been right here." Jeff moved close, and this time Nick didn't move away. "I'll always be right here for you."

Nick knew Jeff was being honest. His hand found Jeff's. He knew he couldn't be angry. Jeff had given him chances to say how he felt. Nick had dodged them all. "I'm scared I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life." He didn't know why he said it. But it was out there. He trusted Jeff with it.

"As long as I'm alive, you're not going to be alone. Even when I die you won't be, because I'll come back as a ghost to haunt you." Jeff added, lightening the tension in that easy way he knew how.

For the first time in a long time, Nick smiled, just a little. "A boyfriend, Jeff. It's different."

Jeff considered that. "Well, people find love at different times. In different ways."

Nick shook his head. "Not me. I'm not- I'm just not…" He couldn't really describe it. Well, he could. But it sounded way too depressing to voice out loud. "I don't see how someone could love me." He finally said. Jeff stared at him. He stared until Nick grew uncomfortable under his gaze, shifting a little. "Wha-"

"You don't think someone is gonna love you?" Jeff asked, blinking. "Nick, that's- I'm sorry, you're stupid."

Nick laughed in shock. "I am not."

"Yeah, you are. That's dumb." Jeff shook his head. "Nick- you're full of things to love. I can think of three thousand things off the top of my head, and six thousand more if I think harder." Nick blushed deeply. He went to cut him off, but Jeff shushed him. "Listen to me, okay? You're gorgeous. You're talented. You're thoughtful, and stronger than anyone knows. You're smart, and you're hardworking, and you don't give up on people. Not even me." Jeff laughed a little, studying him. "You make me feel like… like a whole person. Like without you, I'm just missing something. Does that make sense?"

It made perfect sense. Jeff made him feel whole, too. "I think so."

"So someone is going to fall in love with you. Someone probably already has."

Nick swallowed. "Someone like you?"

Jeff smiled his half-smile. "You don't want someone like me."

"Yes I do." He nearly whispered, it came out so soft. "Someone sweet. Someone who gives their all in everything they do. Someone with a pretty smile and a huge heart and the best worst sense of humor."

Jeff looked away, laughing under his breath and ducking his head modestly. "Awe, Duval. You think I have a pretty smile."

He laughed sadly. "I do."

"Gosh, I'm taken." Jeff teased, and it was meant to be funny, but it was just a sad reminder. Nick wanted to pull away, it was his first instinct to. But then he thought about how lonely he was this past month without Jeff, and he leaned into him instead. Jeff didn't hesitate in wrapping his arm around him, rubbing his hand over his shoulder.

Nick made a promise to himself then. He wouldn't push people away. At least, he'd try his hardest not to. He'd stop recoiling at the first sign of pain. He'd open himself to vulnerability. It could be okay. He could do it. He could go out on a limb, he could take a chance. Just not tonight. Tonight, he rested against his best friend, and made one more promise. He'd fight tooth and nail to keep Jeff Sterling in his life. To stay whole.

* * *

Nick learned to tolerate Sebastian. He still didn't like him. He knew he was biased, the main reason he didn't like Sebastian was that Jeff _did_ like Sebastian. And that was something to deal with, he was coping. But Sebastian gave him a few other reasons to not like him as well. Nick thought he came off as full of himself. He knew he was talented, and he bragged about it. And maybe it was all in his head, but it seemed like Sebastian became more arrogant sounding when he was addressing Nick.

He dismissed the thought as his own jealousy, but then Sebastian proved his point after their most recent rehearsal. Nick was talking to Wes and David, their heads of council, about an upcoming solo. Sectionals was just around the corner, a little bit past Thanksgiving this year, and having just returned from Thanksgiving break, Nick was eager to work out the kinks in his performance. Both he and Blaine had solos, and they'd been rehearsing every night. Sebastian clearly thought he was also deserving of a solo, because he approached him after he finished talking to the council heads.

"Nervous about next week?"

Nick looked up, smiling a little. "I mean, sure, a little bit. But I think I've got a handle on the number."

Sebastian smiled. "Yeah, looks good when we rehearse it here. Shaky on some of the harder notes, but that's understandable."

Nick wasn't stupid, and he caught on to Sebastian's passive-aggressiveness quickly. "Everyone seems to think I'm doing fine."

"Oh, of course you are." Sebastian waved his hand. "No need to get defensive. Just a personal note, I'm picky."

It was a hard song, Sebastian was right. Honeymoon Avenue, by Ariana Grande. Singing a song from someone with her vocal range was no easy feat, but Nick worked his ass off to get it perfect. And the song had meaning to him. He related to it. "I'm just saying, I got picked for a solo for a reason." Nick forced himself to smile, grabbing his backpack.

"I'm sure. I assume my solo is coming next competition. Given, you're good enough to get us through to the next round."

"You can count on it." Nick said firmly. This was his first real conversation with the boy, and he liked him less and less by the second. "You can ask Jeff, I work hard."

Sebastian laughed, nodding. "Right. You and Jeff are joined at the hip, how could I forget."

"I'm his best friend." Nick shrugged.

"And he's your…?"

"Best friend." Nick filled in, going to the door. He didn't like what Sebastian was implying. "Don't worry, he's all yours."

Sebastian laughed again. "Believe me, I'm not worried."

Nick made himself leave. He had too short a fuse for this conversation, and didn't want to say something he'd regret. How did Jeff date someone like that? Jeff hated people like Sebastian. Why was he with him? Was Sebastian different around Jeff? Nick couldn't figure it out at all. He shook his head, entering his room with the intention of working on his solo. But instead, he walked into Blaine and Kurt in the middle of a heated kiss. "Shit."

They parted quickly, both faces burning. "Hi." Kurt said, moving to the opposite side of the bed.

Blaine was laughed a little, trying to tame his messy curls. "Sorry."

Nick shook his head, dropping his school bag on his bed. "No worries." He laughed a little. "You guys are dating? Officially?"

"Yeah." Kurt glanced to Blaine, expression soft. "We have been for a while. But we- don't want to ruin things by telling people just yet."

"How would it ruin things?" Nick wondered.

Blaine shrugged. "People talk. We didn't want- expectations. It's better to just keep it to ourselves for a bit."

Nick considered that, resting back on his elbows on his bed. "Huh."

"We're gonna tell people, though." Kurt said, nodding. "I want people to know he's off limits." He teased at Blaine, laughing over a clear inside joke. Nick watched them and sighed to himself. He wanted that. The same easy relationship he'd always had with Jeff, but with the added bonus of being a little closer. He knew he wouldn't have that with someone else.

"Anyways, why'd you stay late after rehearsal? Not that we're complaining." Blaine motioned for Kurt to come close again.

Nick shrugged a little. He didn't know how much he should say. As far as he could tell, Sebastian didn't act that way with anyone else. He didn't want word to get around to Jeff. "Just talking to Sebastian."

Kurt looked at him disbelievingly. "About what?"

"Competition." He nodded, pulling a book from his backpack, hoping they'd get the hint and leave him to do homework.

"How are things with Jeff and Sebastian?" Blaine asked.

"I dunno, he doesn't talk to me about it much." Nick murmured.

"Really? He never shuts up about it to me." Blaine laughed a little. "Regardless, it's never so much about his feelings towards him, and more, 'Blaine I need the room tonight'."

Nick tried to ignore how it felt like a stab wound. "Hm."

Kurt was quick to fill the silence that followed. "Honestly, I don't see them lasting. It's all physical. I barely see them interact."

Nick smiled briefly, opening his book and staring at the pages without seeing the words. He'd convinced himself he was okay with this. But he was reminded that he didn't think he ever would be. "Your book is upside dow-" Blaine started, and Nick could hear Kurt elbow him, muttering something softly.

"You guys don't have to tiptoe around it." Nick flipped his book the right way, sighing. "They've been together for a couple months. I'm not gonna sit around moping like a loser." _At least, not in public_ , he added in his head.

"We just- we know how you liked him. We know that it hurts." Kurt got up and sat beside him on his bed. "Everyone does."

"Great, all my friends know how I got rejected. Reassuring." Nick mumbled, and Kurt shook his head.

"I meant, we're all here for you, okay?" Kurt corrected. "And we're rooting for you guys."

Nick closed his book. "Don't root for us. He's with someone else. I'm not gonna ruin it. I'm not gonna make him unhappy." Kurt and Blaine were quiet now, and Nick got up to go use the bathroom. "Just let it be." He left, closing the door behind him but not moving from the hall, pressing his ear to the door instead.

"This sucks. They both like eachother. It doesn't have to be so messy." Kurt's muffled voice sounded, and he heard Blaine sigh.

"Sometimes being in love isn't enough."

Nick pulled back from the door, walking to the bathroom. Being in love wasn't enough. It was about timing, and circumstances, and everything but the feelings sometimes. That really did suck. By the time he got back to the room, Blaine had left, and Kurt was using his laptop. Thankfully, he didn't say anything, or push the issue. Nick got in bed and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. His mother always did that. Inhale, exhale. Collect yourself, put up the wall, breathe out the bad so it wouldn't exist in the careful bubble.

Nick felt that any day now, his bubble was going to pop. He wasn't sure what that meant exactly, he just felt… strained. Unstable. One thing was for sure, there would be collateral damage.

* * *

"You nervous?"

Nick was pacing backstage, heart hammering in his chest. The fateful day had arrived, Sectionals. After four nights of barely sleeping, rehearsing his solo until Blaine advised him to rest his voice, Nick was definitely frazzled.

"Me? Nervous? Ha." Nick said, not even trying to hide how his voice shook slightly. He could hear the current choir performing, it was just a couple minutes until the Warblers had to go out there. Nick's solo, then Blaine's, then a group number. Blaine was nowhere to be found, probably doing some ridiculous warm up routine in a broom closet somewhere.

"You know you're gonna crush it, right?" Jeff said, smiling and watching Nick pace. Nick tightened his tie, then loosened it, then tightened it again.

"What if I forget the words? Or the steps? Or I trip?"

Jeff laughed softly. "I'll catch you."

Nick gave a half hearted smile, his stomach too nervous to keep up the banter. "I'm just- I don't know if I'm ready. My parents didn't even come. They don't even think it's important. And maybe it isn't important, it's just show choir, but I- I worked hard, you know? I'm trying so hard all the time, at everything."

Jeff took his arm, stopping him from pacing. "Hey, listen to me." He stopped, swallowing and meeting his gaze. Stage lights made this eyes look greener than usual. "You said it yourself, you worked hard. You bust your ass for everything. It doesn't matter if your parents show up. It doesn't matter if we place first or last, or if you faceplant three seconds into the song." Nick have him a look, Jeff only laughing and squeezing his arm. "Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame, Duval. No one deserves it more than you."

They stared at eachother, and for a brief, fleeting moment, Nick thought Jeff would kiss him. But then Jeff let go of him, and the moment was gone. "Thank you." He murmured, smiling a little.

"I've always known you'd be famous. Even when we were tiny middle schoolers." Jeff teased, and some of Nick's anxiety melted as he laughed.

"I'm far from famous."

"You gotta start somewhere." Jeff grinned. "I'm gonna try my hardest not to clap onstage after you're finished singing, I don't want Wes to kill me."

Nick enveloped him in a hug, holding him tighter than was comfortable. But Jeff didn't care, he hugged back just as tight, not letting go until Nick did. "I'll give you my autograph so you'll remember me someday." He teased, and Jeff laughed.

"Sorry, I love you, but I'd sell that shit online for profit." Nick pushed him, rolling his eyes as he smiled. "Really though, I won't need anything to remember you by. I'll be right there beside you. You're not getting rid of me, Nicholas."

He blushed. "I-"

"And now introducing the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

That was his cue. Jeff gave him a final thumbs-up, and Nick took a few steadying breaths, walking out on stage with the Warblers falling into step behind him, assembling into order as he stepped forward. The lights really were blinding, and hot. He couldn't even see into the audience, not really. It was dark past the spotlight. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. And then he heard the Warblers harmonize on the first note, and that was Nick's cue.

* * *

"Weeeee are the champions, my friennnds!"

Jeff had a talent for acting totally drunk while being completely sober, it was just his personality, and as they entered the restaurant to celebrate their win, he was no different, singing with a few other Warblers.

Somehow, they'd pulled off first place. It was only Sectionals, the competition would be stiffer next time. But for now, they were just happy they'd made it this far. And everyone was raving about his solo, as well as Blaine's. Nick just laughed and waved them off, kind of embarrassed about the attention. But his heart was warm. He hadn't made any mistakes. Jeff had grabbed him into a hug the second they left the stage, going on and on about how Nick was the reason they were going to win.

"I never do this, but I think we deserve it, you have the weekend free, no rehearsals." Wes said, and they cheered. Nick loved rehearsal, but a break was definitely overdue, and the team would be recharged for their next meeting.

They sat at a table that took up half the restaurant, everyone giddy and laughing with eachother, still buzzing from their victory. Jeff sat next to him and never let go of his arm, reminding everyone how amazing the performance was in case someone failed to mention it in the span of five minutes. Vaguely, Nick remembered when he and Jeff first became friends. How that kid had been mean to him, and Jeff had stepped in, and then when Nick told the kid off, Jeff had towed him back to his table, telling all his friends how awesome it was. He held Nick's arm the whole time then, too. This was just like that.

"Hello? Earth to Nick."

Nick realized he'd been unabashedly staring at Jeff, and when he looked away, everyone on their side of the table was watching them. Including Sebastian. "Hm?" He tried not to blush too bright.

"I asked you if you think you'll get another solo next competition." Blaine laughed, and Wes and David were at the other end of the table so they couldn't hear them theorize.

"Oh- maybe. I hope so." He laughed a little. Everyone still stared at him. "Someone else should get a turn though, too. Everyone's talented."

Jeff laughed. "Oh, don't be modest."

Sebastian was giving him a look that made his stomach turn. "I bet Sebastian will get a solo next time." He managed.

"How generous of you to share." Sebastian said, and the sarcasm was evident. Everyone felt the shift, and pulled their stares away, engaging in conversation again, but quiet enough that they could hear the drama.

Jeff had taken his hand off Nick's arm, sipping his drink. "Maybe I'll get a solo and it'll just be a fucking awesome dance number, is that allowed?"

"No." Sebastian seemed entirely uninterested now, looking at his phone. "Babe, want to step outside?"

Jeff looked at him. "Not really." He said, glancing around to the group, who quickly pretended to not be listening.

"I think we should go outside." Sebastian said again, offering Jeff his hand and giving that charming fake smile.

Jeff hesitated, then pasted on a smile just as fake as he took Sebastian's hand. "Just for a minute."

Sebastian led him out, and they watched them go. "What was that about?" Someone asked.

People tossed out theories, but mainly, they agreed that Sebastian was jealous of the attention Jeff had been giving Nick all night, as if Nick couldn't hear them. "I don't think that's it." He protested, but he knew that it was. He hadn't missed Sebastian's stare.

The waiter came, and they ordered. Nick glanced to the door every couple minutes. Conversation changed to something else. Nick checked his watch. Five minutes. Ten. Twenty.

Jeff came back in after the food arrived, smiling briefly at the Warblers and leaning down to talk to Nick. "Me and Bas are gonna get out of here. You did so amazing tonight. My mom has the video so she's gonna send it to you. I love you." Before Nick could even respond, Jeff straightened again. "Sorry for the quick exit guys, wish I could stay. Great job tonight." He was sure Jeff's smile looked real enough to the Warblers. But Nick knew it wasn't sincere. What had Sebastian said?

"Bye Jeff." Kurt said, and he also looked a bit thrown off. It definitely was unlike Jeff to leave like this.

Jeff waved, leaving the restaurant again. Nick cleared his throat and stared down at his food, not hungry anymore. He sent him a text quickly.

To: Jeff 8:43 PM

Thanks for the praise tonight. This is no celebration without my best friend. Let's get dinner this week to make up for the one you're missing?

To: Nick 8:44 PM

sounds good. u deserve the praise. 3

To: Jeff 8:49 PM

Sebastian's not mad, is he?

To: Nick 9:04 PM

hes fine, dont worry about it (:

To: Jeff 9:06 PM

You sure? What did he need you outside for?

To: Nick 9:07 PM

booty call haha (; gtg love you

Nick shut off his phone, getting ready to go with the rest of the group. Something was up. He had said he didn't want to meddle in this. But maybe someone had to look deeper. What were best friends for?

* * *

 **This chapter sets up what's to come, so I'm sorry if it seems a bit filler-y. I know this is painfully slow-burn, but it will be worth the wait (hopefully!).**

 **I'm aiming to get another update out as quick as this one, but the next few weeks are quite busy for me, so if you don't see an update for a little while, don't worry, I haven't given up on this, and I won't leave you on this cliffhanger too long. (:**

 **I mentioned the song Honeymoon Avenue by Ariana Grande in this chapter, give it a listen if you haven't already!**

 **And finally, reviews keep me motivated, so leave reviews for anything! Thoughts, predictions, a smiley emoticon. Up to you. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Later update than expected, my apologies! I don't have much to preface this, so enjoy (:**

 **I don't own Glee!**

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me." Nick smiled over the table at Jeff, who rolled his eyes.

"You act like it's a business affair. I want to hang out with you, idiot."

Nick laughed softly. "Fair enough." It was December now, and it hadn't snowed yet, but it was cold, and Nick loved that. Jeff hated it. He always bundled up an unnecessary amount, and today was no different, as he shrugged off his heavy jacket and unwound his scarf. What was a little different than usual, though, was the giant hickey on Jeff's neck. Or multiple. "Jesus." Nick muttered, his gaze falling to the spot, and Jeff covered it with his hand.

"Oops." He laughed a little, adjusting his shirt collar over it.

"So that's why you weren't texting back last night." Nick half teased, but like always, it stung to see the little reminders.

Jeff laughed, blushing uncharacteristically. "Some are from this morning."

Nick looked down at the menu, effectively hiding his expression. "Damn."

They both pretended to read the menu until the moment passed. They came to this restaurant often, both had usual orders. But they busied themselves reading anyways. "So have Wes and David asked you to solo again yet for Regionals?" Jeff finally broke the silence.

"No." Nick laughed, shaking his head. "Someone else deserves it, I got my turn."

"You're too nice." Jeff smiled.

Nick thought about how 90% of his thoughts were about kissing Jeff and how to hide it from Sebastian. "No, I'm not."

Their waitress came by, taking their order. "And will you two be using the Couples' Discount?" She smiled sunnily.

Nick went to say no, but Jeff was taking his hand over the table. "Sounds great."

She made a note of it before leaving. "Wow, someone in Ohio knowing gay people exist?" Nick feigned surprise. "Why would she guess that?"

"She probably thinks you gave me these hickies." Jeff teased, squeezing his hand.

Or maybe she noticed Nick's cartoon heart-eyes everytime he looked at him. "I'd do better."

"Oh yeah?" Jeff's grin widened, and he leaned in slightly. "You should prove it."

"You wish."

Jeff laughed a little, muttering something under his breath that Nick couldn't catch. "Bas wants me back at eight, so I can't stick around long after dinner."

Nick nodded a little. "You guys have plans?"

"No." Jeff shrugged, absently running his thumb over Nick's knuckles where their hands were still joined. "He just- he doesn't want me out too late."

Nick frowned. "Eight isn't really late." Why was Sebastian having Jeff leave early?

"It's past my bedtime anyways." Jeff teased, laughing a little. He glanced to his phone and loosened his hand in Nick's.

Nick didn't say anything. He knew Jeff wasn't telling him the whole story. "Oh."

Their food arrived a few minutes later, and they started to eat, though Nick wasn't really hungry. "Are you going to that Country Day party this weekend?" Jeff asked.

Nick shrugged. "Maybe."

"You should go." Jeff smiled, and Nick picked at his food.

"Will Sebastian make you go home early?"

Jeff's hand slipped from his. "He's not making me do anything."

He felt bad that he'd said it, but what else was he supposed to think? "What did he talk to you outside about the other night at dinner?" He blurted, and Jeff shook his head.

"What? How would I remember?" His face gave away that remembered it quite well.

"It was just a couple days ago." Nick pressed. "Come on, Jeff. What happened to best friends tell eachother everything?"

"You're making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be." Jeff put down his fork. "I promise, you don't have to- worry, or anything like that. He's just- he's protective."

"So that's why he marked you up like property." Nick motioned to his neck.

"No, no, that wasn't to prove anything." Jeff looked around, clearly embarrassed, though no one was listening to them. "He just likes to do that. Really, you're overanalyzing this."

Nick played with his utensils. He didn't think that he was overanalyzing it. He knew his best friend well, too well. And something was just off. "Fine." He settled. He wouldn't push it. He didn't even know what he was pushing for, all he knew was that he didn't trust Sebastian, not one bit.

"I'm okay. I promise." Jeff held out his hand on the table again, looking at him with a soft expression. He needed Nick to believe him.

"Okay." Nick mumbled, taking Jeff's hand. Jeff held his hand sort of tightly, and he didn't continue to eat.

"Thank you for caring so much." Jeff nearly whispered, and Nick shook his head a little, bringing Jeff's hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles without thinking about it. It felt all too natural.

"I love you."

Jeff didn't say it back, but Nick didn't need him to. His hand trembled slightly in Nick's. Nick started to ask him what was wrong, but Jeff spoke first.

"You know what sucks? Timing. How some things can be so great and perfect but they just come at the wrong time."

Nick smiled a little. "Random."

"No."

When the waitress came back, they'd hardly touched their food, but they paid the bill and left anyways. Nick walked Jeff to his car. "Tell Sebastian I said hi."

Jeff was still holding Nick's hand, ignoring what he just said. "It feels like we're dating."

Nick looked at their hands, then back up at him. "Yeah."

Jeff cupped Nick's jaw, and his heart kicked into overdrive. Neither of them moved. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Nick said back, hands still clasped together and his face hot with Jeff's touch.

And then Jeff leaned in, and kissed his cheek. It was barely there. It was just a brush. It felt like the most intimate thing he'd ever done. He could feel the callouses on Jeff's fingertips from his guitar. He could smell the detergent Amy used on his shirt. His slightly-too-long hair tickled Nick's nose.

All too soon, Jeff's hand was gone from his, and he was getting in the car, leaving Nick off balance and slightly breathless. Jesus, Nick, he kissed your cheek. It's nothing. It was nothing. But he watched Jeff drive away and it felt like everything, and he leaned against his own car and put his hand on his chest where his heart was, feeling it beat fast until it finally returned to normal.

* * *

On the night of the Country Day girl's party, Jeff said he'd be designated driver. Sebastian had protested that loudly, saying he wasn't as fun that way. Nick didn't offer to be the driver, he couldn't tolerate Sebastian sober. Sebastian didn't want to be driver because he needed to drink to have an excuse to get handsy with Jeff in public. So it fell to Kurt and Blaine, who said they'd both stay sober.

The five of them set out in Kurt's car, and Nick was painfully aware of being single, though neither couple were being very couple-y. Kurt and Blaine weren't ones for PDA; at least, they hadn't been so far, and Jeff and Sebastian seemed… irritated with eachother. "There better be good music." Jeff said. He was sitting between Sebastian and Nick in the middle row of seats, Sebastian's hand on Jeff's leg but otherwise not interacting.

"You'll dance anyways." Nick smiled a little.

"Damn right." Jeff grinned, bumping Nick's arm. "Save a dance for me?"

"I'll think about it." Nick laughed, and didn't miss how Sebastian squeezed Jeff's knee, hard enough for Jeff to shift a little bit.

"If it's totally lame, we're skipping, right? Because IHOP is open all night and I want to fuck up some pancakes." Jeff jumped topics, smiling again.

"Monitoring drunk Jeff is harder in a public forum than at the dorm." Kurt teased.

"You guys are all set on making sure I can't have fun." Jeff huffed, slumping in his seat.

They finally made it to the party, another huge Westerville mini-mansion, and got out of the car, Jeff mumbling about the amount of alcohol he'd need to drink to get through the night. Sebastian fell back a little, to where Nick was walking behind the group. "Don't dance with Jeff."

Nick looked at him. "He's gonna dance with everyone. That's just how he is."

"Jeff's taken. If he dances with you more than me, what does that tell you?"

"That I'm a better dancer than you." Nick said easily. "And it's not that deep."

"I don't want him with other guys tonight." Sebastian shook his head. "You don't want it to be your fault when we break up, right? He'd be crushed." Nick bit his lip before he could make a retort. "That's what I thought." Sebastian smiled, walking ahead of him again to the door with Jeff, putting his arm around his waist. Jeff smiled, saying something excitedly to him as they entered.

Nick hung back outside the house. Maybe Jeff and Sebastian were happy together. All couples had their flaws, right? He rubbed his temples. He shouldn't flirt with Jeff. Sebastian was an ass, but he was right, Jeff was taken. What if Nick broke them up and Jeff really was hurt? He didn't want to be the reason for that. So he wouldn't let him dance with him. He wouldn't let Jeff kiss his cheek or make jokes they were dating. He'd be his friend, his best friend, and nothing else. He took a deep breath and entered the party.

* * *

He knew he was playing a losing game after his third drink. It wasn't his fault if Jeff wanted to dance with him, right? It wasn't his fault if Jeff was six drinks in and couldn't stop talking about how pretty Nick's eyes were in the lights. It wasn't his fault if their hands brushed, or their hips, or if Jeff had to lean incredibly close to be heard over the music.

"Having fun?" Nick laughed as Jeff grabbed his arm.

"I'm so glad the music is good. And everyone here is so nice." Jeff smiled widely, spinning Nick around.

Nick steadied himself against his friend, laughing. "You're a lot more drunk than I am."

"Am not. How drunk are you? On a scale of- of two to seventeen."

Nick snorted. "That scale doesn't make any sense."

Jeff only grinned. "I'm at fourteen I think."

Nick pulled Jeff's cup from his hand. "Then let me catch up."

"Hey, that's mine." Jeff laughed, putting his hand over Nick's on the cup.

"You've had enough." Nick smiled, lifting the cup to his lips. Jeff covered Nick's mouth.

"You're rude." Nick kissed the hand that covered his mouth, voice muffled as he tried to speak around it. "Did you just kiss my hand?" Jeff thought that was the funniest thing in the world.

Nick's head swam and he thought it was too. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Jeff grinned. "Kiss you back."

A small bell went off in Nick's head. Don't let Jeff do that. Don't let Jeff do that. Why? He couldn't remember the reasoning he'd had. "Okay."

Jeff leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. "Revenge."

Nick laughed. "You missed."

It felt like the mood changed then, and Jeff met his eyes. The hand that had previously covered his mouth brushed his jaw, and then his thumb touched Nick's bottom lip. He couldn't tell if Jeff was leaning in slowly, or his haze was just making things muddled, and he felt himself tense slightly with adrenaline. This was wrong. This felt right. He couldn't do this. And before any decisions were made- "I'm gonna throw up."

Nick refocused, seeing Jeff turn away from him, going towards the bathroom. Along the way, Sebastian joined him, entering the bathroom with him and shutting the door. Nick felt lightheaded. He'd been so close. How many times had they been so close and still not gotten to that point? "Nick?"

Nick turned and saw Kurt. "Hey." He said, slurring just slightly. He hoped it was just slightly.

"Is Jeff getting sick?" Kurt asked, and Nick nodded dumbly. "Nick- I saw you guys almost kiss. You can't- you can't let him do that."

Nick blew out a breath. "Tell Jeff that."

Kurt nodded. "Fair." He murmured, linking his arm with Nick's. "I'm gonna take you to the car, Blaine is gonna wait for Jeff to come out and meet us there with Sebastian."

"Is it really late?" Nick frowned, having no idea of the time.

"No. But Jeff's sick. And we don't need any reckless decisions being made tonight."

"Jeff isn't a reckless decision." Nick said firmly. Kurt looked at him with a funny expression. A sad one.

"That wasn't what I meant."

"You guys think I don't know what I'm doing." Nick sighed loudly. "I know what I'm doing!" He didn't, not really. But he was figuring it out. He was figuring things out.

Kurt said nothing, leading him to the car. Nick stopped his protest and let him, suddenly feeling sick himself. Soon after he was seated, Blaine was there helping Jeff and Sebastian into the car. Sebastian had had a few drinks but handled them well. Jeff on the other hand, was limp as spaghetti, and pale from getting sick, but still being talkative and trying to sing to the radio.

"Babe, shut up." Sebastian muttered, using his phone while tapping his fingers on Jeff's knee.

Jeff wore a hurt expression, dramatized from the alcohol. "I'm singing."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, leaning in and whispering how he'd keep his mouth occupied that night, not quietly at all. Nick moved away the best he could, pressed to the door. He'd been wrong, no amount of alcohol could help him tolerate Sebastian. The car ride seemed to stretch on forever, until Jeff fell asleep, head dropping on to Nick's shoulder. Nick savored the moment.

"All right, everybody out." Kurt said when they got back to the dorms. Jeff woke, stumbling out of the car. Nick's shoulder felt cold where Jeff had been.

"Come on Jeff, let's get you in bed." Blaine laughed softly, seeing the way Jeff looked up at the night sky in awe.

"Wow, look Nick! I think I saw a shooting star! But everything's so blurry."

Sebastian slipped his arm around Jeff's waist. "Jeff is gonna sleep at my dorm tonight, but I'll send him back in the morning."

Blaine glanced to Kurt, doing that unspoken communication thing they did so well. "I think Jeff needs rest in his own bed tonight."

"M'not even tired." Jeff was talking to Nick like he'd been the one who had said it.

"Hear that? Not tired." Sebastian brushed past them, smiling. "We'll see you guys in the morning." They walked down the hall, Sebastian keeping Jeff upright.

Nick wasn't entirely sober, but he was aware of what was happening. Sebastian had already said it in the car, they were going to have sex, and Jeff was way too drunk for it. "Hey, wait."

Sebastian turned. "What?"

Nick took a deep breath, going over. "Jeff needs to go to his room, okay? He's not up for anything else tonight."

"You don't know what he wants." Sebastian tugged Jeff's hand a bit, like a leash.

"Neither does he, which is why he can't have sex right now." Nick took Jeff's other hand.

"Who is having sex?" Jeff looked around with wide eyes. Sebastian shook his head.

"You're just cockblocking me because you're jealous you don't get to take him home. He chose me, not you."

It was harsh. They were past caring about how openly they showed their dislike for eachother now that they'd had a few drinks. It stung, but Nick held his ground. "It's not about that. Though I don't know why he chose you, because I've never seen you treat him with a shred of respect, ever. He's more than just a warm body." He pulled Jeff towards him.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "You don't know anything about relationships, don't lecture me. If you respected him, you'd let him make his own decisions." Sebastian yanked Jeff back towards himself, Jeff nearly tripping.

"Guys, please-" Blaine tried to interject.

"You don't know him at all and you don't even try. You treat him like a toy." He didn't even think the alcohol played a role in his anger. He'd been keeping this inside since he'd seen Sebastian strut into the dining hall months ago.

"You have no idea how I know him." Sebastian snapped. "But I'd bet you'd like to, huh? You wish he was calling your name instead of mine." They were both trying to pull Jeff from the other, and Jeff was protesting weakly.

"Enough-" Kurt attempted, going over and prying Jeff from both their hands. "Jeff is sleeping in his own bed tonight and that's that. If you two want to continue your catfight, go outside." Jeff leaned against Kurt gratefully, walking with him to his dorm, Blaine right behind them. Nick could feel how hot his face had gotten. He was so angry.

"Thanks." Sebastian muttered, shaking his head as he walked away.

"You'll never know him like I do." Nick couldn't help but say.

Sebastian looked over his shoulder as he left. "Doesn't matter. He still chose me."

Nick watched him go, then went into his room, falling into bed fully dressed and yelling into his pillow to muffle the sound. He thought about what he'd told himself a few hours ago. He'd always be playing a losing game.

* * *

A week after the party, Sebastian came down with the flu. Nick tried not to smile when Jeff told the Warblers Sebastian would be out of rehearsals for a few days. He'd missed rehearsals from pre-Sebastian era, where he didn't feel judged.

The first day of rehearsal without him, Jeff and Nick went to the commons where the piano was, wanting to practice runs. "Fuck, I should've brought my guitar." Jeff frowned as Nick sat down at the piano.

"It's not a jam session, we're just doing scales." Nick laughed, straightening his posture and resting his fingers on the keys.

Jeff sat beside him on the bench and mimicked his postured exaggeratedly, back ramrod straight. "Quite the well-mannered private school boy." Jeff said in an accent that Nick was pretty sure didn't exist.

"Shut up. You're a private school boy too." Nick laughed, tapping out a few notes while humming.

"True, but I do it in a cool way." Jeff teased, bumping his hand out of the way and trying out a few basic notes as well.

"Oh, my bad." Nick laughed, playing the first note on the scale, nodding for Jeff to match the pitch. Jeff did it, going up the scale with him. He didn't have the clearest, strongest voice. It was a little rougher than that, a little breathier, in a way. Nick loved it. "Great job."

Jeff smiled. "I learn from the best." He played the notes for Nick to run the scale, smiling as he sang. "You're so damn good, fuck you."

"Awe, romance isn't dead." Nick teased, laughing.

Jeff kissed his cheek. "Never for you, my love."

Nick missed this. Having that easy chemistry they'd always had. They still joked, but they both knew Sebastian was around, and it wasn't the same. "You know, we haven't done a duet together for the Warblers."

Jeff considered that. "You're right. We'll need to change that." He grabbed his phone, looking through his music library. They tossed ideas back and forth, not sure if they should go with something slow or fast, something they should dance to or not. Once they picked the song, Nick wrote down the arrangement for the Warblers, and by the time they were done with all that, they realized they never went to rehearsal. "God knows what they think we're doing." Nick laughed, putting his notes in his backpack.

"No, they'd know if we were behaving badly. They'd hear you." Jeff grinned, mimicking calling his own name in a breathless voice.

Nick blushed and went to the door as he laughed. "Something tells me you'd be the one chanting my name."

"Think you'd be that good?" Jeff smiled, tilting his head.

"I mean- it's not like I've ever tried." He shrugged, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. He didn't really feel self conscious. Jeff was a person easy to talk to in the sense he never seemed judgemental.

Jeff grinned. "I think you'd be good."

Nick laughed a little, turning back to the door. "Thanks, Jeff."

"Anytime, babe." He could hear Jeff blow him a kiss, and then, "Nick?" Nick turned, waiting for what he was going to say. Jeff's demeanor seemed to have changed. "Uhm, the night of the party? Thank you. For- for being there for me."

"You remember it?" He laughed a little, crossing his arms.

Jeff nodded. "I mean, not all of it. Or most of it. But I remember that you stood up for me."

"He shouldn't be doing things without your consent."

His friend waved his hand dismissively. "He's just pushy. But he means well. He'd had a few drinks that night too, he didn't know what he was doing."

Nick winced. "Don't make excuses for him, Jeff. He would've gone further if we hadn't stopped him."

Jeff's cheeks went a little red. "It was my fault for getting so drunk." He said defensively.

For a brief moment, Nick had a vivid flashback, something he hadn't thought about in a while. Fifth grade Jeff, hiding in his room with a black eye, shaking and begging Nick not to tell anyone his father hit him. That it was his own fault for causing his father to do it. "Jeff-"

"You're making it into a bigger deal than it is."

Jeff had said that in fifth grade too. _It was my fault. I messed it up. It was my fault. You're making it into a bigger deal than it is, it's not like it happens all the time._ "I think we should talk about this."

Jeff stood up, grabbing his bag and putting on a smile that was the same fake one he'd used the night Sebastian had talked to him outside the restaurant. "I won't get that drunk next time. And he said he'll be better about stuff like that." Jeff brushed by him out the door, and before Nick could protest, he was heading down the hall. "See you tomorrow!"

* * *

Jeff had a knack for avoiding things he had no interest in. One of those things being a conversation with Nick about Sebastian. All through the week as they rehearsed their duet, Nick tried to bring it up, and Jeff would dodge it so easily that Nick would've admired the skill if it hadn't been so damn frustrating.

"Ready for tomorrow?" Jeff grinned, modeling his costume in front of Nick's mirror. They'd chosen to do _Summer Nights_ from Grease, because it was one of Jeff's favorite movies and the song was easy to work ensemble into. And Jeff already had one of the Pink Ladies jackets, for reasons unknown.

Kurt had let Nick borrow his leather jacket after the signature of a contract stating he'd keep it in perfect condition because it was the fall line of some designer that was some level of famous. And their duet fell into place from there. They divided the Warblers into T-Birds and Pink Ladies, and the week had been hilarious as they worked with the piece, Jeff in charge of choreography and Nick in charge of the vocal arrangements. They worked perfectly together. "Yeah, of course. It's gonna be really fun."

They were planning on doing the number in the commons, so passing students could watch, as well as potential freshman Warblers. "Sebastian's gonna come and watch, he's feeling a lot better." Jeff popped his jacket collar and winked at himself in the mirror.

"Stop being obsessed with yourself." Nick laughed, Jeff giving his reflection a smirk.

Jeff laughed, sitting on the bed with him instead. "I can't."

Nick smiled, looking down at his homework. "At least you're honest." Except about the real things.

Jeff peered over his notebook. "What are you working on?"

"Notes for an essay." He showed him the book he was reading, _Romeo and Juliet_. He hated it.

"What a classic." Jeff snorted, taking the book and flipping through it. "Romeo and Juliet are such whiny bitches."

"How do I put that eloquently in my essay?" Nick laughed.

"Romeo and Juliet art thou bitches." Jeff opened to a page and cleared his throat to do a dramatic reading. He used to do that all the time, Nick liked to listen to it. It had been a while. "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun." Jeff rolled his eyes. "Doesn't make sense."

"He's trying to say that he thinks she's beautiful, that when she comes to the window she lights up the whole sky." Nick smiled. As much as he disliked the book, he did like a few passages.

"Nobody feels that way about anyone."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "You don't think that about Sebastian?"

Jeff glanced to him, then went back to reading in his accent. "Oh Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

"Iconic." Nick took the book back. "Help me write my essay, Shakespeare."

Jeff laughed, turning Nick's notebook towards himself and taking his pencil. "Easy."

Nick didn't protest, leaning against his headboard and watching Jeff write in the most lopsided scrawl he'd ever seen. "Can you even read that?"

"Mhm." Jeff tapped his chin in thought, then kept writing. "This way no one can steal my ideas." He teased.

When Jeff said things like that, things so utterly and purely _Jeff_ , Nick was reminded why he fell so hard for him. There was no one else like him. "Yeah, that's why."

Jeff flipped him off. "Don't be rude, I'm doing your homework for you."

"I'm very appreciative." Nick murmured, smiling softly. Jeff's hair had grown out, almost bordering being too long. He reached over and brushed it out of Jeff's eyes. "Get a haircut."

Jeff laughed. "With what money?" He teased, stopping his writing to doodle in the margins what looked like tiny aliens. Or they were flowers.

"I'll cut your hair." Nick shrugged.

That earned him a skeptical look. "Do you know how to do it?"

"How hard can it be?"

Jeff wasn't one to weigh the pros and cons of a situation, so they grabbed Nick's desk chair, a towel, a trashbin, and some scissors. "Make me look sexy." Jeff draped the towel over his shoulders, looking into Nick's mirror. "Bye, old hair."

Nick laughed as he opened and closed the scissors a few times experimentally. "It's just a trim."

Jeff smiled. "I'm trusting you."

"You should always trust me."

"I do." They regarded eachother in the mirror. Nick wanted to ask him why he wasn't being upfront about whatever was going on with Sebastian. But he just brushed his fingers through Jeff's hair and set to work. Jeff hummed as Nick worked, holding the trashbin for the hair to fall into. "I can't believe they both die at the end."

Nick looked at him quizzically, then remembered the copy of Romeo and Juliet on his bed. "It's a tragedy. Shit like that happens in tragedies."

"It's not good, though. It's all miscommunications. It's not written well."

He laughed. "Are you saying _Shakespeare_ is a mediocre writer?"

Jeff laughed. "I think he can be a bit overrated. But really. I wouldn't kill myself if I thought my partner was dead."

Nick thought about it. "I wouldn't either. But it wouldn't matter. I'd be dead inside, you know? The piece gone would be so big."

"Objectifying me into a piece?" Jeff teased.

"Who said I was talking about you?" Nick smiled, but they both realized the implication in Jeff saying it, and he could see Jeff's cheeks redden in the mirror. Jeff had automatically assumed they were together in the scenario.

"Well, anyways, my point stands. They were dumb. I hate straight people."

"Me too." Nick let Jeff's mistake slide. There was no use pushing it. He studied the length of Jeff's hair from all sides, laughing when Jeff shivered every time Nick's hand grazed his ears or neck.

"I'm sensitive." Jeff pouted. Nick tried not to let his mind wander with that information, but was failing.

"Okay, done." Nick said quickly, and Jeff leaned into the mirror.

"Hm, I can fuck with this." Jeff studied his face at different angles. "Nice job, Duval. I'd leave a tip, but I'm already doing your homework for you."

They returned to Nick's bed. "Easy tiger, you're doing my pre-writing notes."

"What the fuck are pre-writing notes?" Jeff made a face. "Just dive right into the essay."

"I can't, not all of us can write perfect essays in an hour with no prep."

Jeff was the type that slacked and got away with it. He was insanely smart, but didn't often try. He didn't need to, he was good at getting things done quick and well. It was completely unfair, Nick was the opposite. He had to take his time and be methodical to get things to turn out the way he wanted them. "Well that sucks." Jeff chewed on the end of Nick's pencil.

"Get your mouth off that." Nick flicked his arm, Jeff grinning.

"Jealous?"

"Of how sick you'll be from putting an old pencil in your mouth? I'm so envious." Nick took the pencil back, taking the notebook and reading what Jeff had written.

It was a summary of the novel, with their names replacing Romeo and Juliet's. He skimmed it, smiling to himself. "And in the end, they didn't die for eachother, because they're smarter than that. Jeff and Nick lived happily ever after." He read aloud.

Jeff nodded. "A much better version. Your teacher can thank me anytime."

Nick laughed, closing his notebook and getting up, putting it on his desk. "It's sure to get an A."

Jeff sprawled out on Nick's bed. "I'm sleeping here tonight. Kurt's with Blaine in our room."

Nick laid beside him, pushing him over a little bit for more room. "Don't snore."

"Never."

"And don't talk in your sleep."

"I do that?" Jeff scrunched his nose. "What do I say?"

"You mostly rave about how much you love me." Nick tapped Jeff's nose.

"Probably just the sex dreams." Jeff teased, Nick groaning and turning over.

"Night, Jeff."

Jeff reached over and turned off Nick's bedside table lamp. "Night Duval. Love you."

Nick thought about how weird it was, to sleep next to this boy and tell him he loved him and yet not be dating. "I love you more."

"Love you most." Jeff could fall asleep very quickly, and he did, but Nick looked at the far wall and overanalyzed. He still didn't know the problems of Jeff and Sebastian's relationship. But the way Jeff was acting, it seemed the relationship wouldn't last much longer. Was he an awful person for hoping it fell through? Jeff's hand bumped his, and Nick took a deep breath, lacing their fingers together in the dark, Jeff snoring beside him. He was definitely an awful person.

* * *

"This is gonna be so fun." Jeff said excitedly, practically bouncing. The Warblers were gathered in the commons, practicing a final time. It was almost between periods, which meant they would perform their Grease number soon, when students had a chance to watch it without missing class. Impromptu performances like this were kind of a school-wide event, they always drew an audience.

"Is Sebastian coming to watch?" Nick asked, letting Blaine take over with the Warblers for a while, correcting their pitches and adjusting their steps.

Jeff nodded, checking his phone. "He said he's gonna."

Nick nodded. He hoped Sebastian saw that Nick and Jeff were a great team. That they'd put this all together, and played eachother's complement perfectly. That he and Jeff didn't fit, not like how Nick and Jeff did. He caught himself before his thoughts got uglier, as he often had to do, but he just couldn't help it. He hated Sebastian. He didn't want him to have anything good, and as far as Nick was concerned, Jeff was everything good. "Okay, places!" Nick called, knowing the bell would ring soon, and their performance would start.

The group arranged themselves into their spots, Jeff flashing Nick a smile and a thumbs up. Nick returned it. And then the bell rang, and students emerged from their classes, quickly coming to watch the performance. It was different than other numbers they'd done, they often chose a soloist or made it group-wide, and duets with two boys never went over well in a competition in right-wing Ohio. But this time, Nick and Jeff were leads, and Jeff hadn't toned down the romantic subtext in rehearsal. There was a pause as the Warblers settled in, one of them quietly counting them in. The harmonies started, and Nick took a deep breath, channeling his character before singing the first line. "Summer lovin', had me a blast."

Jeff chimed in with perfect timing, "Summer lovin', happened so fast."

Nick turned to the other leather-jacketed Warblers, swiping a hand through his hair. "Met a guy crazy for me." They'd decided to change the pronouns to fit, and Nick liked it a lot better that way.

"Met a boy, cute as can be." Jeff blew Nick a kiss, winking at him, though they weren't supposed to be acknowledging eachother.

"Summer days, drifting away, to ah, oh, those summer nights." They sang together, facing their groups again. Jeff had choreographed them relatively easy steps, but it came off looking polished and well put-together; the Dalton students watching seemed to like it a lot.

They continued the song, the Warblers having fun with the little parts they'd each gotten, and Jeff and Nick having fun with the theatricality of playing characters, something they never really got to do in their usual numbers. Nick got easily caught up in the performance, but didn't miss Sebastian move through the audience, watching them sing. "Took him bowling, in the arcade." Nick sang, trying to refocus on the song.

"We went strolling, drank lemonade." Jeff moved around him, Nick catching his arm.

"We made out under the dock-" He leaned in as rehearsed, Jeff putting a finger to his lips.

"We stayed out, 'til ten o'clock." He grinned, pulled away from him by the other Warblers. "Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but ah, oh those summer nights!"

"Woah woah woah!" The Warblers were clearly having fun with it, adding in their own dance moves and character quirks, something Jeff had encouraged greatly in rehearsal.

"He got friendly, holding my hand-" Jeff grabbed Nick's hand, and Nick was just a little caught off guard. Traditionally, his and Jeff's parts were supposed to be happening separately from eachother, and while they'd made contact earlier, this part wasn't scripted.

"He got friendly- down in the sa-a-and!" Nick sang, deciding he could improvise a bit as well, gently pushing Jeff to his knees, which caused everyone to laugh and Jeff to nearly break character.

"He was sweet, just turned eighteen!"

"Well he was good, you know what I mean!" Nick pulled Jeff back up to his feet, grinning. The Warblers sang to the end with renewed energy, most still laughing at their bit of improvisation, throwing high fives that may or may not have been in character.

The harmonies got quiet towards the end, where Nick and Jeff separated. "It turned colder, that's where it ends."

"But I told him, we'd still be friends."

"Then we made our true love vow…" Jeff turned to him, Nick looking down the hall melodramatically.

"Wonder what he's doing now…"

"Summer dreams, ripped at the seams…" They harmonized, facing eachother a final time. "But oh, those summer nights!" Nick held the last note, the Warblers finishing out the background vocals with a surge, and people were applauding before they were even finished. Nick always got the same happiness when he heard that applause, his heart swelling and the smile on his face genuine. There was nothing he loved more than moments like these. Jeff wore a similar expression, catching Nick's eye and laughing.

The students gave their praise before heading off to their next class, and the Warblers eventually parted, Jeff coming to Nick first. "We fucking killed that."

Nick grinned. "Why did it take us so long to do that?"

"I have no idea-" Jeff started, Sebastian suddenly cutting in.

"Great job."

Jeff's demeanor visibly changed. Nick hated it. "Thanks." He offered a small smile, glancing around them. "Hall's clearing, we should probably get to class."

"Or we can go up to my room?" Sebastian said to Jeff, taking his hand like it really wasn't an option.

"I can't miss classes. I need to keep my scholarship." Jeff replied, a little bit lower than normal speaking volume.

"I can make it quick." Sebastian grinned, not seeming to care that Jeff didn't look like he was in the mood.

Nick cleared his throat a little. "Aren't you just getting over being sick?"

Sebastian turned to him like he hadn't even seen him there. "Don't worry about it."

"I'll come over tonight, Bas." Jeff pulled his hand from Sebastian's gently, putting a little distance between them.

"At least kiss me goodbye."

Jeff glanced to Nick almost apologetically, leaning in and pecking Sebastian's lips. "Okay, I'll see you tonight." Sebastian said nothing in response, looking down to his phone and giving a half nod. Nick wanted to punch him.

Jeff left in a hurry, and Nick had to get to class as well, but he couldn't possibly focus on chemistry at the moment. "He deserves way better than you."

Sebastian laughed as he typed. "Oh, like you?"

Nick shook his head. "Anyone, really. You don't pay attention to him. You push him into doing things he doesn't want to do. You don't respect him."

"Duval, have you ever been in a relationship?" Sebastian looked at him evenly. Nick stuttered a second.

"No, but-"

"That's what you do in a relationship. You push eachother, the 'yes' doesn't always have to be obvious when you want to get intimate."

Nick really was gonna punch him. "What does that even mean? The yes should always be obvious."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this." He walked back a few steps. "See you." He left, leaving Nick hot with anger. This story was slowly falling into place. And Sebastian was a bigger douchebag than he'd even expected. He was going to make Jeff talk about this. And Nick would talk, too. He couldn't let him be involved in something so toxic. He texted him quickly.

To: Jeff 12:43 PM

We need to talk.

He breathed out once it was sent, pocketing his phone. He'd fix this. No more secrets, from either of them. He'd put everything on the table tonight. He only prayed it didn't backfire.

* * *

 **I used "Summer Nights" from Grease in this chapter!**

 **I'm a sucker for sadness, so we kind of see Jeff retreat into some old habits here, but I promise, next chapter brings the changes everyone needs. Follows, favorites, and reviews keep me writing, so feel free to send your thoughts my way! I'll try to have the next update up soon.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Fairly quick update, in my opinion. This chapter is not too long, but pretty full, and has a couple things I think you guys have been waiting for. Enjoy (:**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

When Nick and Jeff were in seventh grade, they found a stray cat. It didn't have a name, or collar, for that matter. It had green eyes, and shaggy fur matted from being outside for who knows how long. Jeff had immediately fallen in love with it, sitting with it at the park for hours after they found it.

"Jeff, it's getting dark. We really should get back."

Jeff had looked at him like he'd just suggested they jump into a volcano. "What about Monkey?" He'd named it after the monkey bars they'd found it under, and Jeff insisted the cat looked like it liked it.

Nick had shrugged. "I dunno. It's used to being outside."

"That doesn't make it okay." Jeff muttered, petting the cat, even though Nick had warned him of the diseases it might carry.

He sighed, sitting down next to him, watching him pet Monkey and wondering why Jeff was so attached to it. It was just a cat. "What do you want to do with it?"

"Take him home." Jeff said softly.

"You can't bring that into your house."

Jeff was silent for a long time. Nick didn't often see him get emotional, but his lip was trembling now. "Who just lets their cat go like this? Is anyone even looking for him?"

Nick didn't know what to say. He never knew how to act around people when they were upset. "Maybe."

Jeff wiped his eyes quickly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I don't get how people just leave. I don't get how people- people don't care. It's so fucked up."

He knew Jeff was talking about more than the cat. It had been just under two years since Jeff's parents divorced, and he didn't talk about it. Until moments like these. "People care. They just- don't always have their priorities straight."

"Bullshit. If they cared, they'd make their priorities." Jeff shook his head, rubbing his eyes again.

Nick couldn't argue with that. "Well, it's almost nine. My parents will kill me if I'm home late."

Jeff nodded a little. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Nick got up, then hesitated. "Are you coming?"

"I'm gonna stay with the cat a little more." Jeff mumbled, looking to the cat, which was lounging on the grass, half strewn in Jeff's lap.

The way Jeff looked at the cat… Nick would never forget it. He'd only been twelve at the time. But he looked wise and sad, two things that often went hand-in-hand; he looked like he'd seen too much of grim reality for his age. Nick sat down again and ran his fingers over the cat's fur. He wasn't leaving Jeff. He cared. He had his priorities straight. Jeff did not say anything, just sat with him, eventually falling asleep. Nick did too, and when they woke, the cat was gone. Jeff never mentioned it again. But Nick still remembered the way his expression looked. Wistful. Guarded.

It was the face Nick saw in front of him now, as he stirred from his memories and was brought back to the present, where he and Jeff sat in Jeff's room, at opposite ends of his bed. The room was dead silent, as it had been since Nick had arrived. Jeff had texted back to meet him that night, and Nick went. But neither were ready to speak. So they were silent.

"So what did you tell Sebastian? You told him you'd see him tonight." Nick finally said.

Jeff shifted on the bed, thumbing the comforter. "I said I was too tired."

"And what did he say?" Nick asked softly, watching Jeff's reaction. He shrugged, still staring at the blankets.

"He said-" Jeff abruptly cut off, clenching his jaw. Nick knew him well enough to know he was trying not to cry. "He said it's fine."

Nick was surprised, and couldn't really hide it. "Are you sure? You seem upset."

Jeff's mouth was still set, but Nick didn't miss that tiny shake in his bottom lip. Just like when he'd found the cat. "He's cheating on me."

He stared at him. "How do you know?" It was a dumb question. He wouldn't doubt Sebastian would do something like that.

"I heard him on the phone. It's some guy from another school."

"How long have you known?" Nick shook his head slowly.

"A week, maybe."

"Jeff." He couldn't stop staring. "Are you serious? Why are you still with him?"

Jeff swiped his hand over his eyes. "You're judging me."

Nick softened, but he couldn't hide his expression. "I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. Nick Duval, so perfect, never makes mistakes." Jeff said bitterly, the tears falling now.

"Jeff, it's okay. It's not your fault, okay? He's a douche. I'll help you break up with him." Nick ignored Jeff's jab, knowing he was vulnerable.

Jeff shook his head. "I can't. I can't break up with him. He'll make it a huge problem, he'll ruin my life. It'll make drama in the Warblers."

"The Warblers all want you to leave him, too." Nick protested. "We see how he treats you. He's awful to you."

"No, he- he's not awful, he needs help." Jeff said weakly. "I don't do enough for him. This other guy- he gives him what he wants."

Nick took Jeff's shoulders. "Look at me." Jeff looked at him with a fragile expression, but there was strength underneath it. He was putting all his effort into not falling apart. "He's scum. You deserve better. Him cheating doesn't mean you weren't enough for him. It means he's- he's nothing. Why can't you see that? He's worthless."

Jeff was shaking his head slowly, not bothering to wipe his tears. "Why can't /you/ see that I'm the problem? It's not coincidence that people treat me like this. I don't deserve better. I need to /be/ better-"

"Stop!" Nick raised his voice, and Jeff flinched, Nick dropping his hands instantly, but powering through. "Listen to yourself! Your dad is a piece of shit, okay? So is Sebastian. And you didn't do anything wrong. You are generous and kind and full of light and intelligence and heart and I love all those things about you. You're so deserving of love. Stop saying you aren't." Nick was crying now, though Jeff had stopped, silent after Nick's outburst.

Nick couldn't stop the tears. How had it gotten to this point? How could someone with such a perfect soul be damaged so badly? It wasn't fair. "Nick." Jeff whispered, touching his shoulder. "Nick, I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry." He breathed in, calming himself down. "I just want you to love yourself as much as I love you."

Jeff swallowed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek, just as he'd done that night by the car. "I love you."

Nick's eyes fluttered closed. "I want you to love /you/."

"You help me do that." Jeff murmured, close enough to him for Nick to feel his breath. He got chills.

"Good."

"Good." Jeff kissed his cheek again, this time lower, close to his mouth. Nick's heart was racing. His skin felt hot.

"You need to talk to Sebastian." Nick managed, wondering if he even spoke, as he was unable to hear it over his heartbeat in his ears.

Jeff pulled away slowly, nodding a little. "I know."

Nick went on autopilot then. He got up, away from him, though it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He went to the door, and he opened it to leave. He said, "If you need me, you know where to find me." And then he left, closing the door behind him and leaning against it, catching his breath and putting his hand over his heart, an attempt to still it. He hadn't confessed his feelings. But he felt they were still out in the open now. That moment of weakness… he'd said it all then. And Jeff was especially good at listening, at knowing him. He had to wait now. He'd wait as long as he had to. It was terrifying. He'd wait eternity.

* * *

Warblers rehearsal came the next day, and neither Jeff nor Sebastian were there. Nick texted Jeff ten minutes into rehearsal.

To: Jeff 2:45 PM

You okay?

He waited for a response, until he had to actually go rehearse, though he kept the ringer on. Around 3:30, Sebastian slipped in, but still no Jeff. Practice ended at four, and Nick texted him again.

To: Jeff 4:03 PM

Missed you at practice. Are you alright?

From: Jeff 4:13 PM

just clearing my head. outside at the bleachers.

Jeff didn't answer if he was alright. And that was all Nick needed to head in that direction. He pulled on gloves on as he walked. It was getting steadily colder. It was early December, and it felt like it. It had yet to snow, however. He neared the bleachers, seeing Jeff towards the top, just as he'd been last time.

"Hi." Nick said, climbing up and sitting beside him. Jeff nodded acknowledgement, but didn't respond otherwise, rubbing his hands together in steady circles. Whether he hadn't brought gloves, or just didn't have them, Nick didn't know, but he held out his hands in case Jeff wanted to hold them. Just for warmth, no other reason, of course. "How are you doing?"

"I broke up with him." Jeff said, his words a puff of breath in the cold air. Nick didn't speak until the cloud evaporated.

"How did it go?"

Jeff laughed a little. A sad, pained laugh. "He was gonna break up with me soon, apparently. So no harm no foul, right?"

Nick shook his head. "One of these days, I'm gonna break his nose."

Jeff's laugh this time was a little more genuine. "Nicholas, that is no way for a dapper schoolboy to act."

Nick smiled a little. "Exceptions to every rule?"

"Guess so."

They never had to fill silences when they were together, so they studied the sky. "You'll be okay. You're tough."

Jeff smiled a little, looking down at his feet. "Hardened, more like."

"Me too." Nick said, and looked down when he felt Jeff take his hands.

"You're always warm."

"You're freezing."

Jeff rested his head on Nick's shoulder. "Opposites attract." That was definitely the truth. He rubbed warmth into Jeff's hands, letting his mind wander. Last time they were here, it had been dark. But now he could see everything. The way the trees were almost bare, and the grass was frosted, and Jeff's cheeks were ruddy. He thought of the kisses Jeff had left on his cheeks that weren't close enough to his mouth. He thought about how opposites really did attract, but the timing was never right. "You know what fucking sucks?"

Nick tilted his head, stilling his hands over Jeff's. "What?"

"How someone can break your heart even when they have no right to have it." Jeff muttered. And that did suck, Nick thought. He knew. Jeff had his heart in his hands and Nick just had to deal with it. He was forced to be vulnerable.

"Hearts mend." Nick traced his thumb over Jeff's palm.

"Not the same, though."

"Not the same." Nick agreed. Jeff moved closer to him.

"Sometimes I think about what life would be like if I hadn't met you." Jeff said, taking the liberty to put his hands in Nick's coat pockets.

Nick bit his lip. That was something he didn't want to consider. "I think I'd still be closeted." Jeff had always been his biggest support. His only support, really.

"I would have never stood up to my dad."

"I wouldn't have tried out for the Warblers." He didn't realize it was true until he said it. Jeff had always been telling him how good he was, how he'd be famous. His mother had told him to try out a sport instead. He would've listened, had it not been for Jeff.

"I would've stayed with Sebastian." Jeff stated the obvious, shaking his head slowly. "You keep me sane." It was the same thing Jeff had said last time they were on the bleachers.

"And you make me crazy." Nick replied, leaning into him and closing his eyes. He didn't really know if their relationship would progress to a next level. But right now, he was happy that Jeff was out of that toxic relationship, and realizing his worth. Right now, Nick was content.

* * *

The week continued. Sebastian seemed to be going out of his way to be around Jeff, touching him whenever he could and dropping little comments all the time. Nick's blood boiled. Jeff said nothing about it. Luckily, Sebastian's persistence didn't seem to be getting Jeff down. He actually seemed to be doing better than what he'd become these past few months, slowly morphing back into his old self. The Jeff that wasn't overly cautious or timid, that wasn't skittish or tethered to Sebastian's side.

By week's end, Jeff had a little pep in his step again, making jokes and pickup lines at rehearsal, no longer censored by Sebastian. But on Friday, Jeff went a step further, and surprised everyone. "Have you guys ever seen those YouTube videos where people get back at their exes?" He asked casually.

The Warblers were taking a break from rehearsal, lounging on the couches and floor. Sebastian was off somewhere doing something Nick didn't care about. "Oh, those are awesome." Thad grinned.

"Yeah, they're pretty cool." Jeff nodded, tilting his head. "Cool enough that I want to make one."

Nick tried not to smile too wide. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Jeff bit his lip. "I just- I can't stop thinking about the whole thing. Cheating is… it's the fucking worst."

Most of the Warblers hadn't known the details of the breakup, and this raised eyebrows. "He cheated on you?" David said incredulously. "Fuck that." The rest of the team chimed in their agreement.

Jeff laughed a little, blushing. "I've got a plan. For those of you that want to participate. As some of you may know, I've got a taste for theatricality…"

And they went from there. They spent hours arranging a number, Jeff directing and choreographing with a renewed energy. They finished late into the night, but no one minded staying later. They'd all had a run-in with Sebastian at some point, and were given some cause to dislike him. This latest offense was enough to get everyone worked up.

Nick and Jeff walked back to the dorm together, Nick bumping his arm gently. "You seem happy."

"I am." He laughed softly. "Maybe that makes me petty. But- he completely humiliated me. He broke me down. I want him to get a tiny taste of that."

"That's not petty." Nick shook his head. "That asshole deserves way harsher than what you're doing."

Jeff smiled a little. "It feels nice to have control, you know? Not just let people walk over me."

Nick wanted to hug him tight. "I understand."

They reached Nick's dorm, where they had to part ways. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Jeff smiled, and Nick nodded. Their goodbyes were quick, Nick going into his room and smiling to himself. He couldn't wait to see the look on Sebastian's face.

At 7:30 PM the next day, the Warblers stood outside Breadstix. Jeff was wringing his hands, but not outwardly saying he was nervous. Nick could read him well enough to tell, and stayed by him. "You ready?"

Jeff nodded, cracking his knuckles. "I'm ready." Sebastian and the rest of the lacrosse team were inside, celebrating that night's win. Jeff had known they'd be here, and all the Warblers were quick to attend and support him. At first, the heads of council had been wary about doing something like this. But they agreed Sebastian deserved it. And with any luck, it would cause him to drop out of the group. So they stood outside the restaurant, waiting on Jeff's cue.

When Jeff entered, they followed, drawing attention instantly, as large groups of boys in uniform often did. They walked by the hostess stand, they weren't going to sit. Jeff pulled the microphone from his coat pocket, tapping on it. "Testing, testing."

The guests in the restaurant turned to look at him, confused. Nick spotted Sebastian, who also looked quizzical, and maybe a little… nervous. "How are we doing tonight?" Jeff asked. The people looked at eachother, laughing a little, a few responding. "I've come to perform a song for you guys." He nodded. "This one is dedicated to the man sitting there in the lacrosse jersey, number sixteen. Sebastian, wanna give the people a wave?"

Sebastian's face was red. He lifted his hand slightly, forcing a smile. Jeff looked over his shoulder, counting the Warblers in softly, and they started to sing the backup music. "This is a shoutout to my ex." Jeff sang the first line, not wasting time. The guests' faces went to surprise again, but looking at Sebastian now, whose expression was priceless.

Nick couldn't hide his smile as he sang the harmonies, Jeff continuing. "Heard he's in love with some other chick, yeah that hurt me I'll admit, but forget that boy, I'm over it."

Jeff made his way to their table, navigating his way through the crowded restaurant. If he'd wanted a crowd, there was no better time to do it. "I hope he's getting better sex, hope he's not faking it like I did, baby. Took three long months to call it quits. Forget that boy, I'm over it."

Jeff made steady eye contact with Sebastian, not faltering on a note. People around them began to video, even some of Sebastian's teammates. "Shout out to my ex, you're really quite the man. You made my heart break and that made me who I am, here's to my ex, hey look at me now. I'm all the way up, I swear you'll never bring me down." Jeff ruffled Sebastian's hair condescendingly, then stepped up onto the table to do the next verse, the Warblers filling in around the table. Nick couldn't help but flip Sebastian off when their eyes met, and Sebastian just set his jaw, looking like he was about to leave.

"'Cause now I'm living so legit, even though you broke my heart in two." Jeff sang, miming breaking a heart. "But I snapped right back I'm so brand new, boy read my lips, I'm over you."

There was a cheer from someone in the restaurant, others joining in as well, even though Jeff was still singing. He could see Jeff crack a smile. Nick was grateful Jeff could see others agreed- Jeff was not the problem. "Shout out to my ex, you're really quite the man, you made my heart break and that made me who I am." Jeff picked up Sebastian's soda to close out the song, raising it in the air. "Here's to my ex! Hey look at me now, I'm all the way up, I swear you'll never bring me down." He took a deep breath, looking to Sebastian again. He was still smiling, but Nick could see the hurt there. "I swear you'll never bring me down." He repeated the last line after the Warblers had ceased their harmonies, and the restaurant was silent as Jeff poured the drink over Sebastian's head, tossing the empty cup aside.

Sebastian stood up in shock, at the same moment the restaurant burst into applause, calling out their support for Jeff. Jeff didn't seem to be listening. "I loved you." He said simply, and left the restaurant, despite the applause for him. Nick was quick to follow, catching him just before he got into his car.

"That was amazing."

Jeff offered a weak smile, leaning against his car. "I don't feel that much better."

Nick shook his head, smiling a little. "You will. It'll keep getting better."

"Right." Jeff nodded, breathing out and tilting his head up to the sky. Nick studied him.

"Back in the restaurant… you said you loved him?" Nick said softly. Jeff laughed, sort of breathless and sad.

"Yeah. I don't know, though. I thought I did. But I don't think I know shit about love." Jeff smiled sadly.

Nick shook his head. "You do. You're so loving."

Jeff smiled a little. "Romantic love. I have no idea what that feels like."

"It feels like… well, it can feel like a lot of different things." Nick mumbled, leaning against the car as well, watching the hustle inside the restaurant. "Sometimes it feels like- this crazy need. Like your whole heart just needs that person to be there. You can't get them off your mind."

Jeff looked at him. "You've been in love?"

Nick smiled the same sad smile. "Way too deep in it." They regarded eachother for a minute, then Jeff looked away.

"Okay, sometimes it feels like passion. And sometimes it feels like…?"

"Home." Nick said, then laughed at his own cliché. "It's kind of indescribable. Safe. Welcoming. Familiar. You always want to return there no matter how far you go."

Jeff smiled a little, and Nick could feel him staring at him. "You've felt that?" Nick nodded, looking at him. "I think I've felt that too." Jeff said, quieter now.

Nick's heart trembled. "For Sebastian?"

"No." Jeff kept his gaze, turning slightly to face him more, his hand brushing Nick's. Nick's heart was in his throat, in his ears, anywhere but his chest. And then Jeff was leaning in, and Nick nearly forgot to close his eyes, because Jeff looked so beautiful like that. Trusting and open and on the verge of something totally new.

And then, finally, after a lifetime or more, they were kissing. And it was another cliché, but Nick felt fireworks. They kissed, and Nick's hand went to the back of Jeff's neck, just barely. He had never done this before, he realized he had no idea what to do. And he also realized that didn't even matter.

When they parted, Jeff kept close to him, their noses bumping together and making him laugh under his breath. "That's it." Jeff said.

"That's what?" Nick looked at him, trying to still his heart and not to smile too wide.

"That's what love is."

It was hard to kiss him with such a wide smile, but he managed, wrapping his arms around him now, feeling his body against his even through their layers and coats. This was all he's wanted for so long, even before he knew it. He felt full. This was right. He'd gotten it right.

* * *

Needless to say, Sebastian did not return to Warblers rehearsal. He was embarrassed, and rightfully so. All Nick knew was that Sebastian was lucky Jeff only doused him with Pepsi. Nick would've punched him in the nose.

Rehearsals were fun again. Nick was getting a lot of solos, and he couldn't get enough of them. He loved every second he was getting to perform. He didn't feel judged or competitive anymore with Sebastian gone.

"I'm starving. Can we go eat somewhere that's not Dalton's dining hall?" Jeff smiled, ducking out of rehearsal once it ended, pulling Nick by his blazer sleeve, Kurt and Blaine following.

"I could eat." Kurt shrugged, and Blaine agreed, so the four of them piled into Kurt's car.

"Christmas break starts in two days. Are you guys excited?" Jeff wiggled in his seat, having won the battle for shotgun and already fiddling with the radio stations.

Blaine smiled widely. "I'm so excited. I just wish it would snow." Nick looked out the window. Christmas was in four days, and no snow had fallen yet. It was just bitterly cold.

"No, snow is hard to drive in, and all my best outfits get covered up by coats and hats." Kurt said, Blaine laughing.

"Just work your coats and hats into your fabulous outfits."

Kurt smiled, in that way that only Blaine could cause. "And that's why we are dating, Anderson. I like the way you think." Blaine leaned forward to kiss his cheek as he drove, Jeff chastising him for distracting their driver.

It was hard to believe the couple had only been dating a few months, they somehow acted like an old married couple, while still in the honeymoon phase. Nick longed for that. He looked at the back of Jeff's seat. They'd kissed a few days ago, but after parting ways that night, hadn't mentioned it. But Jeff had gone back to his flirty jokes, to keeping him close and making him blush. Nick only wondered if Jeff wanted to kiss him again. "Am I the only one that thinks Christmas break sucks?" Nick asked.

Kurt glanced at him in the rearview mirror. "Probably. But with good reason." Nick traced his name on the frosted glass window. He didn't want to be home for two weeks. That seemed like a nightmare. He liked living at Dalton.

"You can come stay with me as many nights as you want." Jeff nodded, though Nick already knew that. Amy always made sure he felt welcome.

"I just- I think I'm gonna come out to them. So." It had been an idea he'd been revisiting for a long time, but always pushing out before he could think too much about it. But he felt like the timing was right. Well, no. He would never feel that the timing was right. But he wanted to get it out. He needed that weight off. And after that kiss… who knows where things would go? He wanted to be out.

Blaine bumped his shoulder gently. "Good for you. That's awesome." He nodded. It didn't feel awesome. It felt hugely intimidating and depressing, because he knew what the response would be.

"It can be as casual or as formal as you want. I just told my mom while we were making dinner." Jeff added. "And she just said she knew, and that she loved me."

"My parents aren't like Amy." Nick said, and Jeff agreed grimly.

"My parents are like yours." Blaine shrugged. "I'll be honest, their reaction will probably suck. My parents did. But that's who you are. And they can't change you. So they have to accept you. And if they're good parents, somewhere deep, deep down, they will." Nick could tell Blaine had given himself that speech before. He knew that Blaine understood his situation best, and he nodded gratefully.

"My dad was more like Jeff's mom. He said he'd known, and that he loved me. No matter what." Kurt said. Blaine squeezed his shoulder. They reached the restaurant, exiting the car.

Nick pulled his hat low over his ears. "I have a feeling my parents' love isn't so unconditional."

The group walked in, but Jeff stopped Nick outside, letting Kurt and Blaine enter ahead. "I love you unconditionally, okay? No matter what. If they react badly, you know my house is open for you." Jeff did that intense eye contact he did so well, and Nick hugged him in response.

"I love you no matter what, too." He didn't bring up the kiss. Now wasn't the time to have that conversation.

They parted, entering the restaurant, and he thought for the thousandth time how lucky he was he had Jeff. Jeff's hand found his, and Nick let him hold it. He always felt better when he had contact with him. Things would be okay. And if not, Jeff would be there. He'd always be there.

* * *

Once he'd said it out loud, the idea of coming out to his family would not leave his head. The thought had always been there, but now it was all-consuming, just like when he'd first realized he was gay. Coming out to yourself was just as hard as coming out to someone else. Again, Nick found himself in front of his mirror in his home bedroom, staring at his reflection. "I'm gay." He could say it clearly now. He didn't cry afterwards, like the first time he'd admitted it to himself. He nodded a little, wiping sweaty palms on his pants and meeting his own gaze again. "Mom, Dad, Michael- I'm gay."

He winced. He couldn't picture himself telling them. The words felt foreign in his mouth. They wouldn't like it. What if his parents stopped paying for him to go to Dalton? What if they made him stop hanging out with Jeff? What if they didn't let him live at home at all?

"Nicholas, come down for dinner!" His mother called, breaking him from his miniature panic attack.

"Coming!" He stood and made his way downstairs, shaking out his hands and taking deep breaths. They'd attended church earlier, as it was Christmas Eve, and for the first time in a long time, all four of them were sitting down for a meal.

"Smells delicious." Michael smiled, taking a seat at the table. He was still dressed up from the service, hair neat and tie tight. Nick had taken off his tie once they'd gotten home, a habit he'd picked up from Jeff.

His mother smiled. "It's one of the few dishes I can make well." She placed down a dish of lasagna on the dining table. She didn't cook often.

For a few minutes, they were a normal family. Michael asked Nick about Dalton, and they discussed trivial things like how unusual it was that it hadn't snowed yet, and the quality of the sermon that had been given that night. Nick stayed quiet, watching his family interact.

His brother was the golden child. Always had perfect grades, three-season athlete but valedictorian, involved in politics and business and other professions that required a winning smile and a button-up shirt and blazer. Nick didn't hate him, not really. He just hated that there was this rooted competition between them. And that Michael was always winning.

His gaze slid to his mother, who was laughing at something Michael was saying. It was a polite sort of laugh, even though it was unnecessary to hold anything back when they were just with family. But that's just how she was. She'd never let her guard down. Nick had never seen her without makeup, he realized as he looked on.

He glanced to his father as well, regarding him carefully. He was the one Nick was most worried about telling. He was a man of tradition. He didn't take well to anyone different, and he worked hard to keep up a family "image". Nick would be the black sheep. He'd always felt like it, but now it would be obvious. Nick stared, trying to remember the last time they'd hugged, or said they loved eachother. He couldn't remember a single instance. He hardly knew the people sitting around him.

"Nick?"

Nick dropped his fork, surprised at being addressed. "Yes?" He realized it had been Michael that spoke, and turned his attention to him.

"I asked you if it's tough going to an all-boys school." Michael shook his head. "When I went there, I definitely missed having girls around."

Nick shrugged, though he knew his mother hated the gesture. She thought it was rude. "I haven't thought about that much." He hadn't. He'd been caught up in thinking about boys. About Jeff.

Michael laughed. "Sure."

"It's good, he should be focusing on his studies, not girls." His father nodded. "How are the grades looking, son?"

"They're good." Nick said, his father raising an eyebrow. "Really good. 4.0."

"That's what I like to hear." His father finally smiled. "My sons work hard. We don't slack off, do we?"

Michael and Nick shook their heads, Nick looking down at his plate again, pushing his lasagna around with his fork. He wanted to call Jeff and get coached on how to talk to his family. But he knew he had to navigate this himself now. "Hey, can I talk to you guys about something?" Right after he said the words, his stomach flipped. No turning back now.

"Yes?" His mother tilted her head, just slightly. Michael and his father looked at him.

"You're not in trouble at school, are you? That is a very nice school, Nick, we pay a lot for you to attend." His father said firmly.

Nick shook his head. "No, no. Nothing like that." He swallowed, putting his fork down. "Uhm- okay." He realized he had no buildup to this. Could he just blurt it out? Provide some backstory?

"Do you not like it there?" His mother pushed. "I thought you loved it. There's so many opportunities for you there, and it will help you follow in Michael's footsteps-"

"This isn't about Dalton." Nick interrupted, clearing his throat. "I- I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you all." He couldn't look at them. He had to. He slowly brought his gaze up to meet theirs. "I'm… gay." He hadn't meant to hesitate, but the words got stuck in his throat. And then it was dead silent. The kind. It physically hurt. His father's expression was stoic, his mother's unreadable, his brother's surprised. "I've known for a few years now. I wanted to tell you all earlier but it's been- really hard to cope with. I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't know what… you might think." He trailed off, seeing as his parents still had yet to offer any words. And then his father spoke.

"You're not gay."

Nick blinked. "I am." He whispered. Suddenly his voice couldn't go louder than that.

His father wiped his mouth on his napkin, looking away and putting his utensils down. "You're not." Nick stayed quiet, listening to the sound of his heartbeat hammering. There was no one he could turn to for backup. "Frankly, I don't know who planted that idea in your head. But I suggest you move past it. I didn't work this hard, and raise you into the man I wanted you to be, for you to come out with something like this." His father stood, taking his plate to the sink. His mother and Michael did the same, both averting their gazes from him. "Please don't say anything like that at the family holiday party tomorrow. Let's not make a scene."

His father went upstairs without another word. His mother followed without saying anything, without so much as even looking at him. And Michael hesitated, but then retired to his room as well, with nothing but a nod that Nick didn't know how to interpret. He stared at the tablecloth until the pattern went blurry, and his tears stained the fabric. He didn't have the energy to really cry. He just didn't bother to wipe his eyes, slumping in his chair, looking at the wall for what must have been hours, his mind going in slow circles, revisiting what had just happened over and over.

He'd disappointed them. In their eyes, he was doing this out of spite, or rebellion, or confusion. It wasn't worth his words to explain that he'd always been this way. They wouldn't understand. Eventually, his back started to hurt, and his eyes felt raw and dry. He glanced to the clock. 3:43 AM.

Merry Christmas.

* * *

 **Not gonna lie, writing Nick coming out made me cry. Hate to end the chapter with our Nick so upset, but I promise, there are good things on the way. And a certain kiss needs to be discussed.**

 **I mentioned "Shout Out to My Ex" by Little Mix in this chapter.**

 **Please, please favorite, follow, and of course, leave reviews, I definitely would love and benefit from the feedback.**


	11. Chapter 11

**This is my fastest update yet, I believe. It's not as long as my usual chapters, but I was too excited to get this posted. So enjoy (:**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

"Hello?"

"Can we meet up?" It was early Christmas morning. Really early. 5 AM. And Nick was calling Blaine, desperate to get out of his house. Desperate to see someone who understood.

"Mm, yeah. Yeah, I'll come over?" Blaine sounded as if he was still asleep, and he probably was. But Nick was too wrapped up in this right now to feel bad he'd woken him.

"No. Not here." Nick said quickly.

Blaine was silent on the other end, and for a minute Nick thought he'd fallen asleep. But then, "You came out."

Nick swallowed hard. "I need to get out of here."

He heard rustling as Blaine got up. "I'll come get you. Be there in ten. Need me to stay on the phone?"

"No." Nick shook his head, rubbing his tired eyes. He hadn't slept at all. "No, I'll see you then. Thank you."

"Don't thank me." Blaine hung up, and Nick rested his head back against his headboard. He was still processing last night. He felt he didn't have a family anymore. Bitterly, he thought he never had one to start with.

He got himself out of bed, going to the bathroom and sighing at his reflection. He had purple bags under his eyes, which were still red from crying. His hair was messy and sticking up a bit in the back. His clothes were wrinkled, he'd gotten into bed still dressed in his dress shirt and pants. He changed into jeans and a clean shirt, splashing water on his face, but that was the most he could be bothered to do in terms of fixing his appearance. He went downstairs and waited by the door, so Blaine wouldn't knock and wake his parents.

In less than ten minutes, Blaine's car appeared in the driveway, and Nick was grateful that Blaine had probably broken a few speed limits to get there fast. He went outside, getting into the car quickly to get away from the cold.

Blaine didn't say anything, backing out of the driveway and driving through Nick's neighborhood silently. Nick closed his eyes and angled the heating vent towards him. He realized he didn't really know what he wanted to talk about, or how to. He just couldn't be in that house anymore. "Merry Christmas." Blaine finally broke the silence.

Nick glanced over. He'd never seen Blaine looking less than perfectly put together, even when they'd shared a room. His curls were messy, and Nick had only seen him without gel maybe a handful of times. He was in a green henley and flannel pajama pants, and finally Nick felt a twinge of guilt for making him get up. "I'm sorry to wake you."

Blaine shook his head. "Please, don't worry about it. I should've been awake an hour ago, I've got something planned for Kurt." He smiled to himself, and Nick smiled a little too.

"What's the plan?"

"Well, he was upset that Burt didn't really have the time to decorate the house for Christmas, being a single dad and all. And he was too busy with school and the Warblers to do it either. So Wes and David and I are going to put up a tree before he wakes up."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "Wow."

"Yeah." Blaine smiled. "I mean, it's not amazing. It's a fake tree, there's no good real ones left this late. And we have to set it up outside, because it would be too noisy in the house. It's really kind of dumb, I have another present for him too, I just thought he might like it." Blaine rambled, and Nick stopped him.

"I think it's amazing." He said, smiling slightly. "He's gonna love that."

Blaine looked relieved. "You think so?"

"Of course." Nick nodded. "He's lucky to have you."

Blaine blushed, laughing. "I'm lucky to have him." Nick couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. He wanted someone to talk about him the way Blaine talked about Kurt. Jeff, specifically. His mind went back to their kiss. He still didn't know what to think of it. His heart raced just picturing it. "I'm sorry, I'm making this all about me. Tell me about what happened." Blaine added.

Nick shook his head. "No, I like to hear about it." He breathed in, shrugging. "There's… not much to tell. I came out to them at dinner last night. And my dad said it wasn't true, basically. And then they went upstairs. And now we're here."

Blaine shook his head slowly. "That's so… they just don't understand. My parents were the same way. Acting like I was doing it for attention or something."

Nick sighed. "I don't get it. Why would we choose this, you know? To be hated by our own parents, to be discriminated against our whole lives because of people like them."

"I'll never understand it." Blaine said softly, and they drove in silence for a while. Blaine wasn't trying to fill him with fake optimism, Nick appreciated it.

"What do your parents think now?" He asked, though he knew the answer.

Blaine smiled a little tightly. "They think Kurt's a good friend to me. And that I'll get past this, they'll try to support my choices."

Nick's stomach turned. "Choices." He repeated.

"I know." Blaine laughed sadly, an empty sound. "I know." Nick looked out the window, slumping in his seat. There was nothing to be said to comfort Blaine, or himself. It's just how things were. "Does Jeff know?"

"No. I haven't told anyone." Nick rubbed his forehead. "I don't know how to explain it. It's embarrassing, to say your parents don't love you."

"It's not your fault." Blaine said firmly. The sadness that had passed over him was gone. "Okay? You didn't do anything wrong. They're the ones that should feel ashamed."

Nick bit his lip. "They won't."

"They should." Blaine repeated, and Nick realized they were pulling into Blaine's driveway.

"I can walk back. You've got to work on Kurt's surprise."

"No, you should stay. Get your mind off of it." Blaine got out of the car, going into the garage, looking back to see if Nick would follow. And he did. He didn't really feel in the Christmas spirit. But he definitely did not want to go home. He followed Blaine up to his room, where he changed out of his pajamas and offered Nick warmer clothes. His house was similar to Nick's, looking fairly untouched, and feeling sort of drafty and cold. Nick took the offered coat and hat and put them on before they even left the house.

"How come I wasn't invited to this surprise in the first place?" Nick asked, helping Blaine load the parts of the fake tree in his trunk.

"Well… I knew you had your own stuff going on."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "I just came out last night."

"No, not that." Blaine bit his lip. "That night at the restaurant. I saw you and Jeff."

Nick blushed. "Oh, that."

"I didn't tell anyone." Blaine said quickly.

"It wouldn't have mattered if you did. I don't really know what he's thinking about it." Nick fit a box of lights in the car, trying not to sound whiny.

"He hasn't said anything?"

Nick shrugged. "He- might love me. As more than a friend. But we haven't talked about the kiss."

Blaine considered it as he finished loading the trunk with decorations. "Maybe he's scared."

"No way."

"Think about it. He's probably worried about messing up the friendship." Blaine shrugged. "It makes sense. You two really depend on eachother."

"I love him too, though. Nothing would be messed up."

"He just got out of a toxic relationship. He's gonna be wary about dating again." Blaine pointed out.

He could see Blaine's point. But still. "Yeah."

Blaine patted his back. "Let's get to Kurt's."

They got back in the car, driving to Kurt's, where Wes and David were already parked out front. They greeted eachother, exchanging Merry Christmases, then got to work, setting up the tree and decorating it with a million ornaments. Blaine didn't do anything just halfway. They wrapped Kurt's porch railings with red ribbon, and hung a wreath on his door. Nick lined the windowsills with lights, and hung candy canes off the shutters. Blaine passed out bags of artificial snow, and the group sprinkled it over the lawn, as it still hadn't snowed yet. After almost an hour, Blaine decided their work was good enough, and Nick was sort of in awe at what they'd managed to do. Blaine started his car and opened the doors, turning the radio to the Christmas station and turning up the volume all the way. It was blasting.

Enough to wake up Kurt and his father, and Kurt opened the door just a minute later, expression going from sleepy and confused to complete surprise. "Merry Christmas, beautiful." Blaine called over the music. The neighbors were opening their doors as well. Kurt was still stunned on the porch, looking around. He came down the steps, walking towards Blaine, then running, grabbing him in a hug that almost toppled them into the fake snow.

"Blaine!" Kurt was laughing breathlessly, squeezing him tight, while still looking around at their handiwork. "Oh my God-"

"I knew you wanted real Christmas decorations. And I wanted to do them inside but I hope this is still good-"

Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "This is perfect. You're perfect."

Wes took the opportunity to dangle mistletoe over their heads, and Kurt didn't waste time in kissing him, keeping him as close as possible and smiling against his mouth. Nick cheered and clapped with Wes and David, though his mind was occupied, as always, with Jeff. And he had an idea. "I need to borrow this." Nick took the mistletoe from Wes, heading up the street.

"Where are you going?" David called.

"Jeff's!" He shouted back, breaking into a run. His friends cheered behind him, Blaine loudest of all. Luckily, Jeff wasn't too far from Kurt's house, and Nick didn't slow down until he reached the little yellow house, ringing the doorbell over and over.

Amy finally opened it, laughing. "Nick? What are you doing here so early-"

"I need to see Jeff." He said breathlessly, and Amy didn't even need to call him down, Jeff was already in the doorway.

"Did you run here?"

"Yes." Nick panted.

Amy left them with a smile, and Jeff laughed. "Is it because you really want your Christmas present? Because it's actually not ready yet-"

"No." He stepped closer. "I didn't get to tell you everything I wanted to say the other night." He was still short of breath, and he continued before Jeff could interrupt. "Jeff, I'm in love with you. I have been for so long. I love everything about you. I love that you hate ties, and that your mom is your best friend. I love how well you can dance, and how you never give up on anything or anyone. I love that you always know what to say and that you can cheer me up just by looking at me. I love that you are still a beautiful person even after the shit you've been through. I love that you work so hard and are so humble, and that your family comes first to you, and that you share your love so easily." He couldn't stop it all from pouring out now. "I love when you play guitar and make me laugh and don't care what anyone thinks and do the thing where you flick your hair out of your eyes and I love that you love me back. I don't think I've stopped thinking about you since middle school." Jeff's mouth was open, but smiling, eyes alight with some spark. Nick swallowed, lifting up the mistletoe he'd been clutching, now sort of crushed. "So… after all that-"

Jeff took his face in both hands, kissing him. It was completely different than the first time they'd done it. They were both sure now, the mistletoe falling to the ground as he wrapped his arms around Jeff's neck, leaning into him and his warmth, into his kiss, into everything he was that was grounding him in the moment. When they finally pulled apart, Nick was just as out of breath as when he'd gotten there and twice as flushed, for completely different reasons than the fact he'd ran a mile. "Duval, you have such a flair for dramatics."

They both dissolved into laughter, still keeping eachother close, Jeff in a faded T-shirt against Nick's borrowed coat. It was perfect. And then Amy's voice from inside, "It's snowing!"

They looked up, and indeed it was, falling feather-light and staying in perfect snowflake shapes on Nick's jacket sleeves. He pulled the hat he was wearing off and on to Jeff's head so he wouldn't be as cold, though he hardly felt cold at all. Right here, Jeff's arms around him, he was warm.

* * *

To: Nick 9:37 AM

miss u

Nick looked down at his phone, smiling a little to himself. He'd just left Jeff's house after their kiss. His family was awake now, but not addressing him, aside from giving him his Christmas presents: a shiny watch, and a stock. He'd said thank you and returned to his room.

To: Jeff 9:39 AM

I just left.

To: Nick 10:07 AM

yeah i know, come back

He wished with everything that he could. He didn't want to be around his family. And he especially didn't want to be around his relatives. But he didn't really have a choice in it.

To: Jeff 10:09 AM

Get any cool presents?

To: Nick 10:10 AM

a bunch of guitar picks, these cool retro ones and some handmade ones. and snow boots that aren't falling apart at the soles haha

To: Jeff 10:14 AM

I want to see them, and give you your present.

To: Nick 10:16 AM

can i have a hint?

To: Jeff 10:17 AM

Your hint is you'll never guess it. (:

To: Nick 10:23 AM

a box of chocolates? a brand new car? a lapdance to xtina aguliera's dirrty?

To: Jeff 10:26 AM

No, no, you wish.

To: Nick 10:32 AM

i do. come over tonight?

To: Jeff 10:34 AM

Can't wait.

Nick heard his mom call him downstairs, and he fixed his tie and hair. He could get through today. Just a few hours with family. And then he could see Jeff. And maybe they'd kiss again. He got distracted by the thought, fiddling with his tie until he heard his mom call him again, and he went downstairs. "Sorry, had to fix my hair."

She nodded a little, looking anxious. Nick didn't normally see her showing any emotion. "Nicholas, please don't bring up what you told us last night to the family. Okay? For your father's sake. He's right, it will only cause a scene."

Nick shook his head a little, pulling on his coat. "I'm not gonna tell them." He muttered. It wasn't because his father told him not to. He just couldn't handle more negative responses right now.

"Okay. Good, the party will run smoothly." She adjusted her pearls and took a deep breath, and whatever emotion had been there was gone now, her mask had returned.

Nick went outside, walking to the car. The snow had gathered since the early morning, piling at about an inch now. Nick kicked some of it. It was dusty snow, not good for making snowmen or forts. He got into the car and slipped headphones in. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

He'd been right. The day was painfully long. He'd told his relatives in detail about Dalton. He'd told them about the Warblers. He'd described his plans for college, because it was never too early to start planning, even as a sophomore, his father had insisted.

When the questions came to girls, his father commented that the food was delicious, letting Nick's aunt go off on a tangent about the recipes. Nick kept his mouth shut like he was supposed to. He counted the hours, the minutes, the seconds. And finally, after many impersonal hugs (yes, those exist) and more small talk, they were back in the car. "Can you drop me off at Jeff's?" Nick asked.

He saw his parents exchange a look. "We should spend the night as a family. Michael isn't here very often."

The excuse was so see-through. He felt himself get angry. "It's Christmas. I need to give him his present."

"Nick, we want you here tonight." His father said, in that authoritative tone he did so well.

He felt like stomping his foot like an angry toddler. "Why? You never care if I'm there or not. I'm at Jeff's house more than I'm here."

Michael shook his head. "I'd love to spend time with you tonight before I have to fly out again-"

"Bullshit." Nick almost laughed. "You don't have any interest in me."

"Nicholas, please watch your language." His mother gave him a look, and Nick unbuckled his seatbelt.

"I'll just get out here." He was a couple miles from Jeff's house still. He didn't care.

"Don't be ridiculous. Get in the car." His dad said loudly. Nick shut his car door, starting to walk down the street. "Nicholas Duval. I am not kidding." He said through his rolled down window.

"Neither am I."

His dad looked at him with venom. Nick almost stepped back. "I don't know who you think you are now."

"You've never known me at all!" Nick raised his voice.

His father muttered something under his breath, his mother trying to calm him down. "I don't know where I went wrong. I really don't."

The window was rolled up. The car drove away. Nick looked after it until the taillights were tiny specks in the distance, then started walking again. Fuck this. Fuck them. The snow had amounted to half a foot, and only some of the sidewalk was plowed. He was so cold his knees were knocking together like a cartoon. And he'd only walked maybe a half mile. With no other option, he called Jeff.

"Finally, I've been missing you all day." Jeff answered the phone with an audible smile.

Somehow, just hearing his voice made him a little warmer. "Same here."

"Are you home now? Are the roads good for you to come over?"

Nick looked around himself. He could really only see as far ahead as the streetlights lit. "I'm not home yet. I'm coming over now."

"Are your car windows open? The wind sound is making it hard to hear you." Jeff said.

He laughed a little. "No." He trudged on. Only a little more to walk, and the promise of Jeff when he made it there.

"It sounds like you're outside."

"Huh." Nick said, trying to walk on the road where the snow was thinner, so his footsteps couldn't be heard.

"How long 'til you're here? I finished your present." He could hear Jeff's smile again.

"Ten minutes. You just finished? Slacker." He teased him.

Jeff laughed. "I had to make some adjustments."

"How mysterious."

He heard Amy in the background, and the sound of Jeff's hand muffling the phone's mic as he responded. Nick's heart ached. Jeff was so lucky he had Amy. He knew his parents didn't love him anymore. "Sorry, she asked me about your present and nearly spoiled it. Now get over here." Jeff laughed, and Nick nodded.

"I'm on my way." He hung up, lengthening his strides. He'd be there soon. And for a while, he'd forget about his parents, because Jeff could fill up his whole mind.

By the time he got there, he wasn't paying attention to his numb hands or feet, just knocked on the door, Jeff opening it before he could knock more than once. "Hi- what happened to you?"

Nick faltered. "What?"

"You /were/ outside." Jeff frowned, pulling him in. "Jesus, your hands feel like ice. What were you doing outside?"

"Walking." He muttered. Jeff unzipped Nick's coat and hung it, taking his hands in his own again, enveloping them in his sweater sleeves.

"You walked here? Why?"

Nick looked at him miserably. It took a second for Jeff to catch on, and then his expression changed. "Did your parents make you leave?"

He shook his head. "No, no, I got out of the car on the way home from my grandma's-"

"Merry Christmas." Amy came in then, her expression morphing like Jeff's had. "Oh, your nose is nearly purple, Nick."

Jeff pulled him into the kitchen, shaking his head. "Why did you do that?"

Nick followed, tripping a little bit. His feet ached the way they did when they started to defrost. "They don't like that I'm gay. Actually, they don't even believe that I am." He was doing his best not to cry. But bitter tears surfaced anyways.

Jeff sat him down on the kitchen chair. "That's bullshit. They've always been in the dark. They don't know the first thing about this."

Nick watched him fill a basin with warm water in the sink. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Keep living as you always have." Jeff looked at him like he was staring into his soul. "Don't let them make you be ashamed of this."

He carried the basin over and set it on the floor. "You don't have to fuss over me." Nick said softly.

"Make me do everything myself." Jeff muttered, nudging him teasingly as he unlaced Nick's boots. Nick laughed a little, tiredly, leaning his head back against the chair and letting Jeff take care of him. It felt nice to have someone care. Especially after today. Once his feet were in the warm water, he started feeling less chilled, his hands returning to their normal color.

"Change into these after." Amy came up from the laundry room, carrying some of Jeff's pajamas she'd just put into the dryer for a few minutes.

"You guys don't have to do all this for me." Nick tried, but knew it was useless. Amy and Jeff were the same, they wanted to help. And they loved him. He wished fiercely he could stay here forever.

"Come on, let's go to my room." Jeff murmured, holding Nick's hand as he stepped out of the bucket, taking the clothes from his mom and bringing him to his room.

"I'm so sorry."

Jeff looked at him like he was crazy. "For?"

Nick sat on the bed. "For being a bother on your family Christmas."

Jeff pulled him to his feet again. "Take that back." He said warningly, undoing Nick's tie and buttons, the fabric damp from the snow that had seeped through his coat. "We want you here. We want you _happy."_

Nick sighed. "But it's not your responsibility-"

"Nick." Jeff did that soul-seeing stare again. "For one second. Let someone be there for you."

He had nothing to say to that. So he undressed, Jeff turning his back when he got to his boxers, pulling on the warm clothes from the dryer. "You're too good to me."

Jeff turned again, looking Nick up and down. "And I really, really like you in my clothes."

Nick blushed, pulling at the strings on Jeff's Dalton hoodie. "They're just sweats."

Jeff laughed, coming over and taking Nick's waist, resting his hands on his hips. "I like that they're mine."

Nick's heart fluttered like it usually did when Jeff got this close. He didn't think he'd ever stop having that reaction. "Well, I'll keep them."

Jeff smiled, kissing his cheek. "That's your Christmas present." He teased. Nick wanted him to kiss him for real.

"I don't have your present with me." He realized. He'd been proud of it this year.

"Lucky for you, I have yours." Jeff's smile turned a little bit nervous. "You can sit again."

Nick raised his eyebrows, sitting on the bed. "A lapdance to Christina Aguliera's Dirrty?" He mocked, and Jeff laughed.

"In your dreams. No, this is something- well, it's nothing amazing. It's just- I was playing around with my guitar." Jeff got his guitar from his closet, sitting on the bed with him. "And I figured, since you bought me this guitar, it's only fitting I play something for you. But you've already seen me do covers. So I had to get creative." Jeff cleared his throat, pulling his pick over the strings experimentally.

"Jeff-" Nick started, his heart already feeling like it would burst.

"So this is a Sterling original." Jeff teased, unable to keep it serious too long. "And a private exclusive." Nick just shook his head, his smile slowly growing. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve this boy.

He started playing. It was a pretty melody, something chill, but memorable and sweet. Jeff looked focused on the notes, like he wanted to get it all right. It was enough to make Nick want to stop him and kiss him right then. But then he started singing. And Nick could do nothing but listen to the lyrics, his heart swelling in his chest.

 _I've never been one to write a song_

 _Always blasting the radio, singing along_

 _But I see you, and no song quite aligns_

 _Realized I needed to write some words that were mine._

' _Cause no song out there can describe your eyes,_

 _Sort of green like the ocean, kinda blue like the sky_

 _And theres no song playing that matches your laugh_

 _Gets me laughing too, like you're my other half_

 _And now, as I try to sing you the praises you're due,_

 _I know I'll never sum you up, but I'm in love with you._

After the first chorus finished, Jeff played a bit of an instrumental part, keeping his eyes down at the guitar. Lucky for Nick, because he was on the verge of tears.

 _And I can't believe it took me so long to see_

 _That someone I've been waiting for is in front of me_

 _And I can't fit your essence into just one song,_

 _But fuck it, I'm trying it, in hopes that you sing along_

He laughed softly, Nick too, before going into the chorus again.

' _Cause no song out there can describe your eyes,_

 _Sort of green like the ocean, kinda blue like the sky_

 _And theres no song playing that matches your laugh_

 _Gets me laughing too, like you're my other half_

 _And now, as I try to sing you the praises you're due,_

 _I know I'll never sum you up, but I'm in love with you._

Jeff finally looked at him, coming to the final notes.

 _Yeah, I'll never write the words that do you justice_

 _But despite my lame attempt, you can trust this:_

 _I see all that you are and all that you do,_

 _And I'm in love with you._

Nick shook his head slowly, staring at him. He had no idea what to say. "Jeff." He repeated.

"I know it's fast. I know that we only kissed the first time a couple days ago." Jeff hurried to fill the silence. "But if you said everything you've been feeling this morning before you kissed me, I have some things to say now. I've always loved you. I never thought we had a chance. You'd seen me at my worst too many times, I thought there was no chance of us dating. And then I tried to hint that I didn't want Sebastian, I wanted you. I asked you if I should go to Sebastian's room, do you remember that? And I wanted so badly for you to say no, that you wanted me to stay. But you didn't, and I thought it was because you didn't want to be with me. But I wish I said all this before I met him, because- it's true. The song. I don't know anyone else like you, and nothing can really describe- how special you are."

Nick was still silent, trying to take this all in. "Jeff…"

Jeff laughed. "I was expecting to leave you speechless, but please say something more."

Nick laughed softly, moving Jeff's guitar and leaning in. "I wish I'd realized how you felt back then. Because now we have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Jeff had initiated their first kisses, but Nick felt brave enough to kiss him now. After hearing a song like that, Nick had no doubts. He kissed him, Jeff's hands going to his shoulders, and he ended up smiling after a second, pulling away so he could laugh. "What's so funny?" Jeff smiled, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing. It's just- did you take any conceptual ideas from Taylor Swift's 'Our Song'?"

Jeff laughed his genuine laugh, pulling Nick back against the pillows. "Fuck off."

Nick laughed, falling into him, tangling his fingers with Jeff's and squeezing his hand. His parents and his brother and his museum house were long forgotten in the moment, as Jeff kissed his knuckles and kept their joined hands close to his heart. "You've set the bar pretty high for my present."

Jeff smiled. "I'm gonna love whatever it is. Whether you're dancing to Dirrty or Toxic." He teased, and Nick pushed him playfully.

"I don't know why I'm with you."

Jeff perked up, his smile growing. "You're my boyfriend."

He laughed, nodding slowly. "That's right."

"Nick is my boyfriend." Jeff said. "I like the way it sounds."

"You're my boyfriend." Nick said aloud, and Jeff was right. Just saying the words made him happy. He'd been waiting to say them so long.

Jeff smiled softly, moving to lay a little closer. "Stay over?"

There was no way in the world he could say no. Not after that song. Not after that kiss. Not after the way Jeff looked at him like he'd hung the moon and stars. "Of course."

He didn't think it was too late, but Jeff dozed off with their hands still intertwined, and Nick eventually fell asleep as well. This was probably the best Christmas present he'd ever gotten. That he'd ever get. He squeezed Jeff's hand, and studied his peaceful expression, and he didn't know how anything could top this.

* * *

 **For once, the chapter didn't end on a sad note. (But don't think you're off the hook. The next chapter promises a few things these two are going to have to deal with). I referenced Dirrty by Christina Aguiliera, and Toxic by Britney Spears. And then I tried my hand at songwriting, but it came out as a mediocre poem. Just pretend it's better than that!**

 **I hope this was good for y'all, and if it was, let me know by favoriting, following, or leaving a review. I'd love to hear feedback. See you soon (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**A quick-ish update? I don't have too much to say here, aside from thank you to those who left such nice reviews about the little song (: I might try my hand at it again sometime! Until then, have another chapter.**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

Christmas break was a blur. Nick stayed at Jeff's as much as he could. He didn't want to be home. And given that his parents never asked him to come back, Nick could guess that they didn't want him there either. He wasn't too upset about it. He'd expected it. But Jeff was.

"They're so heartless." Jeff shook his head, eating breakfast with him in the kitchen. Nick had always liked Jeff's kitchen. It was cluttered, but it always smelled good, like spices, or something baking, and Amy kept a tiny radio on the windowsill that played old music.

"They just don't get it."

Jeff rolled his eyes. "And they're not trying to get it. That's shitty." It was their last day before school started again, and they have to head up to school that night. Nick couldn't wait. He wanted the familiarity of his dorm and the Warblers and the distance from home.

He shrugged a little, pushing his cereal around with his spoon. "Yeah. But… that's just how it is."

Jeff couldn't argue with that. "Well, fuck that."

"Language." Amy came in then, but she didn't seem bothered. "Goodmorning, Nick." She smiled.

Nick smiled back. "Hi Amy. Thanks for driving me back to school tonight."

She shook her head. "Oh, please. I don't mind at all."

"Personally, I don't want Nick in the car, he's obnoxious." Jeff said with a straight face, Nick shaking his head.

"I don't know why I'm dating you."

Amy turned from the sink, a wider smile on her face. "You two are dating?"

Nick blushed, laughing and looking to Jeff, who answered with raised eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure I kissed him in front of you the other day."

Amy laughed. "I don't know if you two realize this, but that's not too far off from your usual levels of affection with eachother."

Jeff grinned, moving closer to him and resting his hand on his knee. "Well, yes, we're dating." He kissed Nick's cheek, who was still blushing red.

"I'm so happy for you both." Amy said sincerely, and for a moment, Nick's heart ached, because he'd never have that. A parent who was 100% behind him. Proud of him.

As if Jeff could sense his change in mood, and he probably could, he squeezed Nick's knee gently. "Help me finish packing?" Nick nodded, putting his bowl in the sink and going upstairs with him. "Warning, by finish, I mean help me start from scratch."

He cracked a smile at that, shaking his head. "You always do that."

Jeff laughed, opening his closet. "I'm spontaneous."

"You're irresponsible." Nick corrected, opening Jeff's suitcase and laying it out on the bed.

Jeff plugged his phone into a speaker so they could listen to music as they packed, and sang along to all the songs. Nick usually did, but he just wasn't in the mood. He mechanically folded Jeff's clothes, his mind going in circles. What would his parents do when he told them about Jeff? What if they didn't want him to come home this summer? What about when he got married, would they even go to the wedding?

"Hey, earth to Nick."

Nick looked up, slightly startled. "What?"

Jeff was holding up two ties. "I asked you which one I should burn."

"You gotta keep them both." Nick held out his hand for them, but Jeff took his hand instead, sitting with him on the bed.

"You're totally zoned out. What are you thinking about?" He said softly, and Nick's instinct was to look away. But this was Jeff. He could be honest.

"None of my family will come to my wedding."

Jeff frowned. "You're sixteen. Why waste time worrying about something like that?"

"I'm not worrying about it on purpose." He sighed. "I just- I can't stop thinking about it."

Jeff nodded slowly, taking his other hand as well and brushing his thumbs over his knuckles. "Well, you don't want them there anyways. They don't deserve to go." Nick shrugged. "My extended family will more than fill up the place." He teased.

Nick laughed a little, looking at him. "Oh, you're thinking it's our wedding?" He couldn't resist teasing him a little back.

Jeff blushed, kissing his hand. "Nope, my entire extended family is attending your wedding no matter what. Whether you're marrying me or some other lucky guy."

Nick smiled as he nodded, already feeling better. It sucked that his family wasn't supportive. But they weren't his only family. He had the Warblers. He had Jeff. "I see."

"Let's hurry and finish so we can nap before we leave." Jeff got up again, grabbing the rest of the stuff he'd brought home and tossing it on the bed to get packed.

"I don't like naps." Nick protested.

"Well, just lay there and let me use you as a human pillow and you can use your phone or do homework or draw dicks on my face." Jeff bargained, helping him fold and squish the clothes into the suitcase.

"Fine." Nick laughed, leaning in for a kiss. "You owe me."

Jeff only smiled, kissing him and finishing packing, shoving the suitcase off the bed and pulling Nick close. He laid next to him, and Jeff huffed. "Not like that." He instructed, moving Nick around until Jeff was half on top of him, cold nose pressed into the crook of his neck, arm and leg across Nick's body. "Perfect." He sighed happily.

Jeff was lying facedown, and Nick was on his back, looking at the ceiling. It was comfortable, and strangely intimate. Nick had never been so close to another person, their bodies were pressed together and they were dressed only in pajamas, the fabric fairly thin. "Are you even tired? It's like, eleven. We just woke up a few hours ago."

"M'always tired." Jeff mumbled against his neck, and it made Nick shiver, pressing his hand to Jeff's back.

"I see that."

"Tell me a bedtime story." Jeff teased, closing his eyes.

Nick traced his fingers over Jeff's back, drawing designs over his shoulder blades and down the line of his spine. "I don't know any."

"Make one up."

He laughed a little, closing his eyes as well. Jeff was more the creative in the relationship. Nick had never really made up a story before. "You're a child. Let me think." He considered for a minute or two. "Okay. There was a boy-"

"You have to start with once upon a time, Nicholas." Jeff poked his side, and he could feel him smile against his skin.

"You really are seven. Alright, once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a castle. It was a lonely castle, with a big moat around it so no one could get in. Or out." He added. "The boy was never allowed to leave the castle, and the king and queen were very strict with his rules. He learned to be used to it, and it didn't bother him too much. Until one day, he was allowed to go outside of the castle to go to the market for the queen. And there he met-"

"A stunningly handsome street performer." Jeff cut in.

Nick smiled. "Sure. A street performer-"

"Stunningly handsome." Jeff reminded him, and Nick kissed the top of his head.

"And they hit it off right away. And the boy finally had a friend. And suddenly, he wasn't content in the castle anymore. He wanted to go out and explore."

Jeff had slipped his hand under the hem of Nick's shirt as he was speaking, his fingers grazing his hip. Nick got chills again. "Sorry." Jeff withdrew his hand. "I just- like being close to you."

Nick laughed a little, guiding Jeff's hand back to where it was. He liked his hand there, against his bare skin. Again, it was innocent, but intimate, just being so _close_ to him. "The boy was upset that he was stuck up in the castle, but his friend would come visit him anyways."

"That's a really good friend." Jeff muttered. Nick could feel him tracing out the shape of a heart on his hip.

"Yeah." Nick agreed. "A really good friend. Such a good friend that the boy wanted to be more than friends with him."

"Keep it PG Duval, it's a bedtime story."

"Sorry."

Jeff laughed, nodding for him to continue. Nick smiled and closed his eyes to visualize the end. "Turns out, his friend felt the same way. And he helped him escape the castle. And they ran away together."

"And lived happily ever after." Jeff finished, yawning.

Nick shrugged. "Well, that seems unrealistic. Their odds are pretty stacked. We really won't know until-" Jeff covered his mouth with his hand, laughing under his breath.

"I love you."

Nick pulled him a little closer. "I love you back." He said, muffled under his hand. Jeff moved it to his chest, letting out a breath and looking like he was starting to drift off.

"That was a good story. Next time I wanna hear about what they did after they ran away." His voice was slightly slurred, his body relaxed, fitting against Nick like they were meant to lay in that bed and tell stories their whole lives.

"I'll keep you updated."

Jeff fell asleep, and Nick rubbed his back slowly. It felt kind of surreal still. He was dating Jeff. He got to kiss him. He got to be the one he cuddled up to when he slept. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He really did feel like he'd escaped the castle, metaphorically, at least. Jeff had always been somewhere to run away to. To run away _with_.

He didn't nap, he wasn't tired at all. He imagined the rest of their story, where they escaped to somewhere far away and slayed a dragon or two. Forever exploring the world together. Always more in love.

* * *

"Welcome back, Warblers. I hope everyone had a great holiday." Wes addressed the group from the council table. "After a long break, I hope everyone is ready to get back to the grind-"

Jeff stood, going to the table and taking the gavel. "May I?"

Wes raised an eyebrow. "It's already quiet-"

Jeff knocked the gavel against the desk. "I have an announcement to make." Nick knew instantly what it would be, and was already blushing, inching down in his seat. Blaine and Kurt knew as well, and they had the opposite reaction, perking up. "As some of you may know, Nick and I have been best friends for ages." He started.

"You guys are dating now?" A Warbler smiled, and everyone started to cheer, clapping for them.

Jeff crossed his arms. "I had a whole speech!" Nick just laughed, shaking his head and motioning for him to sit with him again. "You guys took all the fun out of it." He pouted, sitting next to Nick and resting his head on his shoulder.

"It's not like it's a surprise." A Warbler shrugged, and others chimed in.

"I always thought you were dating."

"Isn't he why you broke up with Sebastian?"

"You guys have been inseparable since I met you."

Nick smiled, squeezing Jeff's shoulder gently. He liked that people thought that already. That they weren't surprised. It just further proved how they were sort of meant for eachother. "Well, now it's official." There was another round of applause, and as the Warblers fell back into rehearsal, Jeff kissed his cheek.

"Just so you know, my speech was going to be ridiculously sappy." Nick wanted to kiss him, but had a spark of anxiety. He knew all the Warblers were cool with it. But his parents had left him with insecurity, and he couldn't help but feel there would be more people that would react in the same way. Jeff, ever intuitive of Nick's worries, smiled gently at him. "You can set the pace, you know. I wanna do what you're comfortable with. I don't want to be like Sebastian."

Just hearing the name made him want to find him and punch him. "You'd never be anything like that."

Jeff smiled a little. "But tell me if I ever- cross a line."

Nick leaned in, kissing him quickly. "You tell me, too. We'll communicate. We'll be just fine."

The Warblers that weren't rehearsing whistled at the kiss, and Nick blushed, laughing as he got up with him to join the rehearsal. He didn't want to even let go of his hand. He knew how cliché it sounded, and how he was becoming a honeymoon phase stereotype. But he didn't care. He was happy. He was really happy.

* * *

Like all things in life, Nick came to realize, happiness did not last. At least, not a long time. Because there were other obstacles. And as much as he wished his new relationship could make all areas of his life better, he knew it didn't work like that. A wake-up call from his living daydream came in the form of a text from Michael, a week after Nick had returned to Dalton.

To: Nick 4:45 PM

Hello, Nick. Hope you're doing well. Getting back into classes is always tough after winter break. Don't slack, though. Anyways, as you know, I've been working with many state officials, and am running for a state position come next fall. There is a dinner being hosted for the officials this Thursday night, and I think it would reflect well on me to attend with my family. I've already run the idea by Mom, and we have decided I'll pick you up at school Thursday so you can attend the dinner. It's formal, so dress well. Get back to me when you see this, see you Thursday.

Nick had immediately gone to Jeff and Blaine's dorm, knocking on the door with his phone still open on the screen.

Jeff opened the door after a few seconds, looking half asleep. "Hi babe-"

"Hi, I'm here for Blaine." Nick went in, Jeff muttering how his betrayal stung before getting back in bed.

"What's up?" Blaine looked up from his desk, smiling until he saw Nick's expression. "You okay?"

Jeff sat up when he heard that, his sleepiness wearing off quickly. "Is there something wrong?"

Nick just shook his head. "Michael texted me. He says there's some fancy dinner for the guys that work in state office with him and I have to go. With my whole family."

Blaine winced. "Yikes."

"Fuck that, you don't have to go to that. He's an asshole, you don't owe him any favors." Jeff crossed his arms. He'd more than expressed his distaste for Nick's family after what they'd done.

"Yes, I do." Nick sighed, sitting on the bed. "Blaine's from the same type of family, he gets it. I can't _not_ go. I don't have choice in stuff like this."

Blaine shook his head. "Yeah, you'll have to go. They still haven't mentioned you coming out?"

"No." Nick said miserably. "They won't want to even look at me. I'll have to spend the whole night acting like we're some happy family." Jeff had moved next to him, and just the touch of his shoulder against Nick's was a comfort.

"Why should you have to pretend?" Jeff protested.

"That's all our families do." Blaine said softly.

Nick rested against Jeff, turning over the situation in his mind. He didn't want to go. It wasn't fair. He couldn't stand the thought of his family only pretending to love him because they had an audience. "I wish you could go." Nick murmured to Jeff, who was silent a minute.

"Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea."

Nick leaned back a little to look at him. "It would be the worst idea ever."

Blaine tilted his head. "Maybe Jeff has a point."

Jeff nodded his agreement. "Think about it. Bring me as your plus-one. Tell your family we're dating. They won't be able to make a scene, we'll be in public. It's a giant fuck you to them. And then Michael gets a little gay rep in his campaign, whether he likes it or not."

Nick was still skeptical, but considered it. It was true, his family wouldn't say anything rude to Jeff in a public setting. And having Jeff there would make the night a lot more tolerable. And maybe sitting through a dinner with Jeff as his date would make his family realize it wasn't so bad. "You'd have to wear a tie."

"The plan is cancelled." Jeff laughed, leaning into him. "I'll wear a tie for you, and for you only, Duval."

"Awee." Blaine murmured, a wide smile on his face. He spun his chair to face his desk again. "Sorry, this is as much privacy as I can give you guys, I've got homework." Blaine slipped headphones in and made a show of turning the volume up loud, giving them a thumbs-up behind his back.

Nick laughed, dragging Jeff to lay down with him, fitting against his side. Jeff draped his arm over him, kissing his nose before closing his eyes again. Nick toyed with the hem of Jeff's T-shirt, still thinking about Thursday. "I have to warn you, my parents might be incredibly passive-aggressive."

"I can handle it. I'll smile and be the perfect boyfriend all night." Jeff reassured him, but it only made Nick's heart break a little.

"It doesn't matter what you do. They won't accept us. They won't approve of you." He muttered.

"That sucks for them. They're really missing out." Jeff tilted Nick's chin up, catching his gaze. "I don't give a fuck what your parents think about me. This isn't about them. I don't need their approval. Really, I don't want it."

Nick moved closer. "Promise me you won't take anything they say to heart?"

Jeff held up his pinky between them. "As long as you promise me that you won't either."

"I can't promise that. They're my parents. It hurts when they- look at me like I disappointed them." He held his pinky up as well, but didn't touch Jeff's.

Jeff nodded. "Okay, that's understandable." He thought for a second, looking to the ceiling. "How about this. Promise that no matter what they say or do, you'll remember that you're worth so much more than they know. And remember that you've got tons of people that love you just how you are right here. And that your boyfriend will fight anyone that dares upset you, and he's probably going to spend the whole night thinking about how good you look in the suit you'll wear."

Nick couldn't help but laugh, finally locking his pinky with Jeff's. "Okay, you have yourself a deal."

Jeff smiled, stealing a kiss. "Good. Sleep over?"

How could he say no? He didn't know how Jeff could always make him smile, but he'd always been able to do that. "I guess." He teased softly, Jeff pulling the covers over them.

"Sleep tight, babe." Jeff leaned over him to turn out the light, Blaine flicking his desk lamp on, but angling it down at his work to make the room dark still.

Nick really liked when Jeff used pet names like that, and he kissed his jaw while he was reaching over him. "I always do when I'm sleeping next to you."

"Cheesy." Jeff laughed, getting comfortable again.

"Says the guy who wrote a song for me." Nick countered.

"That was just a ploy to get in your pants." Jeff grinned, and Nick flicked his arm, laughing.

"Looks like you'll have to write a follow-up song."

Jeff squished close to him, as they sort of had to on a twin bed, and kissed under his ear. "I'll write you a whole album if it gets you naked."

Nick blushed, laughing as he tilted his head. "You're so romantic."

Jeff snorted, tickling his side. "Go to sleep."

Nick obeyed, turning over and still smiling to himself. Jeff wrapped his arm around him again and yawned, his breath on the back of Nick's neck making him feel even closer to him. He tried not to think about Thursday, and think instead about Jeff cuddling him close. It was an effective distraction, and he fell asleep fairly quickly after that. It was just one dinner. They'd survive.

* * *

"How do I look?" Nick re-tucked his shirt in and adjusted his belt, studying his reflection in the mirror.

Jeff was lounging on Nick's bed, only half-dressed. "Sexy. Say 'The name's Duval. Nick Duval.'"

Nick rolled his eyes, laughing as he re-tied his tie. "How about you say, 'Nick, I know this dinner is really important to you and I'll finish getting dressed now'."

"Fair." Jeff got up, buttoning his shirt and tucking it in, putting on a tie with exaggerated huffing and groaning, and pulling on a suit jacket.

Nick finally left the mirror, knowing he would keep finding flaws if he stayed, and smiled at Jeff. "Sexy." He mocked him.

Jeff spun around, shaking his hips before tripping on one of Nick's discarded tie choices and promptly falling on his face. "Sabotage!"

Nick laughed, pulling him up and brushing him off. "You really do look good."

"So do you." Jeff smiled, kissing him quickly. Nick wished it was a little longer. He really wanted Jeff close tonight. He followed Jeff's lips when he pulled away, kissing him again, and Jeff didn't protest, his hands going to Nick's waist. They both indulged in the moment, before Jeff's hands wandered, and Nick knew they'd end up missing the event if they carried on like that.

He finally turned his head, catching his breath, Jeff doing the same. "Michael will be outside any minute."

"How dare he, doesn't he know what he's interrupting?" Jeff teased, and Nick really wished they could stay here and go just a little further. He wanted to let his hands wander too, and to be maybe a little less clothed. And maybe Jeff would call him babe like he always did, but it would sound different this time- "Thinking less than dapper thoughts, Prince of Ohio?"

Nick shook his head a little, blushing as if Jeff knew what he was thinking. With how well they knew eachother, he probably did. "Sorry."

Jeff grinned. "Am I that good at kissing?"

Nick straightened his jacket lapels and smiled, though he tried to hide it. "Don't flatter yourself." He got a text from Michael then, letting him know he was outside, and his smile wavered. "Okay, time to go."

Jeff slipped his hand into his. "It's gonna be okay. Only a few hours. I'll be right there." Nick nodded, leaving with him and trying not to overthink. Just a few hours. Jeff would be right there. "And if you wanna get out of there, squeeze my hand twice, and I'll fake being sick."

Nick laughed a little, but knew it was a real offer. "I'll keep it in mind."

They got outside, seeing Michael's car and climbing in. Nick took the passenger side, Jeff getting in the back. "Hey, Michael."

Michael looked over his shoulder in surprise. "Uh- hey there, Jeff." He looked to Nick with raised eyebrows. "I said a family dinner over text, right?"

"He's my plus-one." Nick muttered, buckling in and trying to seem calm and collected.

Michael shook his head a little. "A friend can't be your plus-one."

Nick shrugged. "That's okay. He's my boyfriend." He said it casually, but his heart was racing. He didn't want to see that disappointed look again.

Michael was quiet again, then looked to the backseat. Jeff smiled and waved a little. "Mom and Dad aren't going to like this."

"What about you? Do you have a problem with it?" Nick tested, though he didn't really want to know the answer.

But Michael surprised him. "No. I mean, I wish you'd given me some warning you were bringing him. But- I mean, I don't know. Jeff's a good guy."

"Thanks." Jeff piped up.

Nick gave him a look, then faced Michael again. "So- you're okay with me having a boyfriend? Because at dinner you didn't say anything."

Michael sighed. "I know. I should've. You're my little brother. I haven't really been acting like a big brother lately."

"Lately?" Nick laughed a little.

"Okay, I haven't ever been a good sibling to you." Michael admitted, toying with the gear shift. Nick had never seen him do anything seeming nervous. "But I want to change that. Okay? I'm not like Mom and Dad. Or at least, I don't want to be. I know that you can't change who you are. And if you're… gay, well, then that's what you are." Michael nodded.

Nick was a little floored. "Right."

"I'm sorry." Michael looked to him. It was genuine. Sincere. Nick was still in a sort of shock.

"It's okay." He managed.

Michael gave him a look that showed he knew it wasn't okay, but they'd leave things here. This was enough. "Alright, let's go. We don't want to be late." They started driving, and Nick caught Jeff's eye in the rearview mirror. Jeff smiled and shrugged a little. The night was starting on a good note. He took a breath and dared to turn the radio on, keeping himself distracted until they reached where they were having dinner. It wasn't too long of a drive, but the building they pulled up to was unfamiliar. It was some official-looking state building, with flags out front and steps like the Met. "Mom and Dad are already here."

Nick nodded, getting out of the car when valet took it over, and finding Jeff's hand again. "We'll meet you inside." Michael hesitated, but nodded, heading into the building. Nick turned to Jeff and let out a breath he felt he'd been holding the whole car ride. "What just happened?"

Jeff laughed, squeezing his hand. "Something that should've happened a long time ago."

Nick shook his head, smiling. "I can't get my hopes up for the rest of my family, though."

"No. But I'm glad Michael really thought about this. You should be surrounded by people who support you. You deserve it. And everyone at Dalton-"

Nick kissed him, smiling against his mouth. "You already gave me the 'Dalton is your family' speech."

Jeff laughed, kissing back. "Well, it's true." He said softly. "It's my job to make sure you know you're cared about."

He didn't even feel cold, despite the winter temperature. He felt loved and safe and special. And that anxiety tugging at his heart faded a bit, because he had this protection now. He wouldn't take his parents disapproval too hard. He _was_ surrounded by support. "I love you."

Jeff smiled. "I'm a lucky guy." They went inside, holding hands. No one in there had the power to take away how Nick felt. And that made him walk a little taller.

The inside of the building was really nice, as expected, and they were escorted into a big room that was serving as a dining room. The tables were adorned with white tablecloths and silver, and each had a delicate centerpiece. Nick straightened his tie again.

"You ready?"

Jeff smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be."

He spotted his parents and Michael sitting at the far side of the room, and he made his way over, focusing on Jeff's hand in his and nothing else. "Hi, Mom. Dad." Nick nodded, sitting down.

His parents looked at Jeff like he was an alien. Clearly, Michael had not told them. "What is Jeffrey doing here?" His mother asked.

Jeff waved a little. "Nice to see you both again."

His parents ignored him. "Well, I thought it would be a good chance to introduce you." Nick said, and his father shook his head.

"We know him already." They were talking about him as if he weren't even there. It was so rude, Nick could barely keep his composure and it had only been a minute.

"I wanted to re-introduce you to him. This time, he's my boyfriend."

There was a hush over the table. Then, "We aren't doing this here." His father said it in a low voice. Nick didn't back down.

"I don't care what you think." Nick muttered, not wanting to make a scene either, for different reasons than his father. "He's here. He's with me. And Michael is fine with it, and he's who we're here for."

His parents looked to Michael quickly, his father speaking first. "Michael, you know how this will reflect on you as a candidate-"

Michael shook his head. "It's not about that. We've been turning a blind eye to what Nick told us, and it's not right. I'm proud to be his brother. It's time I start showing that." He glanced at Nick apologetically, like he'd done in the car.

Nick was sort of surprised Michael had stood up for him in front of his parents. "Thank you." He whispered.

Jeff, who had been quiet through the exchange thus far, cleared his throat slightly. "I know my being here isn't ideal. And- you weren't expecting me. But I'm here. Nick wants me to be. And I'm going to keep supporting him, no matter what. So if… you really hate that, you should take it out on me. Not him." Jeff seemed to be choosing his words carefully. Nick knew he had a lot of other things he wanted to say to them.

"No one should be taking anything out on anyone." Nick gave Jeff a look. Jeff didn't deserve this either.

"It's his fault, isn't it?" His father spoke up. "He caused it. I always knew he was trouble. And now he's convinced you to do- to do things like this." Nick could practically see Jeff biting his tongue.

"He didn't convince me to do anything-" Nick tried.

"I should've never let you associate with him." His father plowed on, still in a low tone that assured no one around them was hearing this. "It's kids like that, kids that come from broken homes that lead good kids astray."

Jeff's jaw was set, and aside from color rising in his cheeks, he was showing no reaction to what was being said. Nick wanted to flip the table. "Dad, Jeff has always been a good kid and a model student-" Michael cut in, but was also interrupted.

"You didn't grow up in a house like Jeff's, with bad examples being set." His father's face was also reddening. "I won't allow this."

It felt like there was fire in Nick's stomach. His father didn't know anything about Jeff. How his little family in his yellow house was a better example of what a family should be like than the Duvals would ever be. And now they were daring to say they didn't allow him to be with Jeff. Well, not _they_. Nick's gaze finally slid to his mother, who was sitting perfectly still, staring at the tablecloth. Nick dared to ask, "Mom?"

She looked up, and her eyes were sort of glassy, if Nick wasn't imagining it. "I…"

"Nick, you heard what I said." His father said, more aggressively, but still keeping himself together. If anyone were to glance for more than a few seconds at their table, they might see the inner workings of a quite dysfunctional family. But everyone kept to their tables, and their light dinner conversations, and didn't know that just across the room, the Duvals were cracking.

"Nothing you do or say is going to change this." Nick said softly, looking to his mother as well now.

She kept her gaze averted, while his father glared. "Drop the attitude."

Nick opened his mouth to protest, and then they were approached by a woman carrying a camera. "Hello, you all look lovely tonight."

He looked around the table. How his father's mouth was still a little twisted, his mother's eyes a little red. How Michael had finished his drink already, and how Jeff had crumpled a wad of cocktail napkins in his white-knuckled fist. "Thank you." Michael managed, pasting on a smile.

The rest of them tried the same. The woman had a much better fake smile than them. "Can I take your picture for the news article? I assume these are your parents and siblings?"

Everyone looked to Jeff and Nick. His father daring him to tell the truth. "I'm his brother. This is my boyfriend." Nick looked at his father just briefly before looking to the photographer.

"Lovely." She smiled, backing up and lifting her camera. "Smile!"

They grimaced. The flash went off. She collected their names and hopped to the next table, leaving the family and not seeing their smiles melt off. "Congrats, Michael. Here's to the start of a great campaign." Nick broke the silence, lifting his glass.

Jeff's hand was shaking when he lifted his. Michael gave a short nod, toasting them. His parents didn't lift their glasses at all. Food was served, and they ate in painful silence, just pushing their food around for the most part. And then it was over. They pulled their coats back on, and said their goodbyes. His father made a point to not address them, leaving right after the closing words of the hosts, and his mother followed, silent again.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom before we go." Jeff muttered, slipping away from Nick before he could ask him if he was okay.

He was going to follow him, but Michael stopped him. "I shouldn't have invited you all here. I didn't know it would be such a trainwreck. I thought they'd come around."

Nick smiled a little. A mixture of sadness and bitterness. "They'll never come around. They don't want to understand this."

Michael sighed. "I can try to talk to them-"

Nick just shook his head. "Nothing will change. Thank you. But… this is just how they are." He stepped away from him. "I'm gonna check on Jeff. I'll meet you at the car."

"Yeah." Michael nodded, but then stopped him again. "You know, if Jeff ever does something to hurt you, I'll kick his ass."

It was oddly sweet. "He would never hurt me." He smiled a bit more genuinely.

"Good." Michael left in a hurry. Maybe he and Michael were friends now. He liked the idea of it, but was hesitant to get too attached to it. He pushed it from his mind and went to find Jeff.

He entered the bathroom, finding Jeff by the sink. "Are you okay?"

Jeff looked up, wiping his eyes quickly. "Yes. Yeah."

Nick frowned, going over to him. "I'm so sorry he said such awful things. None of it was true."

"I'm really fine." Jeff insisted, turning his head away slightly. "I promised you I wasn't gonna take anything they said to heart. I'm not breaking the promise."

Nick touched Jeff's arm. "That was before we knew what they would say."

Jeff shook his head, wiping his eyes again. "I should be the one comforting you."

"You don't need to pretend you're okay for my sake." Nick tilted Jeff's head towards him to keep him from avoiding his gaze. "I don't want you to. If you're upset, I want to know. I want to help."

"I know my family isn't perfect." Jeff finally said, looking away again. "And my dad was a bad example. But I didn't follow it. I'm not like him at all. I hate that people know what happened, and that they think I'm changed because of it." Jeff bit his lip. "Maybe I am changed because of it. But not to be like him. To be his opposite. And my mom has done so much for us and I know we don't have money and we don't look so polished on the outside but I'm proud to come from the family I have." He seemed to start rambling, his shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry, you have enough to deal without this on top of it-"

"Jeff, no. You are my top priority. It doesn't matter what else I have going on." He kept eye contact with him until Jeff softened, nodding slowly. Nick handed him a few tissues. "Remember what you told me? The same goes for you. There are people that love you all around you. You're worth more than you realize. I'll fight anyone that dares upset you. And you look- incredible tonight."

Jeff laughed under his breath, drying the last of his tears. "Incredible enough to lead you astray?"

"Jeff." Nick frowned.

"I'm kidding. I'm okay." Jeff took his hand, smiling a little. "Let's just get out of here before this tie chokes me to death."

Nick couldn't help but kiss him first, holding his hand tight. "I have a new promise to make. No more Duval family dinners."

Jeff laughed, holding up his free hand for Nick's pinky. "Amen."

They locked pinkies, and Nick left with him, feeling… surprisingly okay. His parents had reacted poorly. But that was to be expected. He knew now not to come to them anymore. And he might have gained a brother from this disaster. He wanted to be closer with Michael. He was the only family he had now. And Jeff knew that what his father had said wasn't true, he was so much stronger than anyone gave him credit for, he'd remind him of that everyday if he had to. They climbed in the car, Michael not asking about Jeff's slightly bloodshot eyes. "Ready to go back to Dalton?" He asked, and Nick nodded, finally relaxing.

"So ready."

* * *

 **Ending on a semi-positive note, these boys are finally learning that families come in all shapes and sizes, and they're not always the ones you're born into. And they've got eachother to remind themselves of that. Next chapter will bring us through the end of their sophomore year, and we'll see what new struggles being upperclassmen will bring. Stay tuned, and favorite, follow, and review to let me know your thoughts!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey all, bit of a time skip to start this chapter, from Christmas break to February! There's another pretty sizable time skip midway through this chapter that brings us to April, so be on the lookout I guess (:**

 **I don't own Glee!**

* * *

After what felt like years, Ohio thawed out. The bitter cold faded slightly, and snow wasn't as regular. Nick was grateful. It felt like the winter was just a generally dark time he was happy to move on from. January came and went, and February came with Valentine's Day. Nick had never cared much about the holiday, he'd never had a reason to. But now he did.

"What are you doing for Blaine?" Nick asked Kurt a few nights before the day, distracting himself from his homework.

Kurt smiled to himself, putting down the textbook he'd been poring through. "Nothing too big. He didn't want me to spend money. I wrote him a much-too-sappy card." He laughed. "And I got him this little stuffed bear that has a bowtie on."

Nick smiled, biting his pen. "That's really cute."

"I know he's going to have something so thoughtful for me. He always does." Kurt was still smiling, shaking his head. "This time, I'm determined to top him. I wrote a poem in his card."

"He definitely can't top that level of sappiness." Nick laughed. "Jeff wrote me a song for Christmas, so I've pretty much given up already on ever doing something that good."

Kurt put a hand over his heart. "He wrote you a song? He just blew my boyfriend out of the water." He teased. "Wow. I didn't really know he was the love song-writing type."

Nick chuckled. Jeff was outgoing at rehearsal, and most of his humor revolved around sarcasm or sex jokes. Kurt was right, he definitely didn't seem like the type to sit down and write a love song. "There's a lot about him people don't know."

Kurt smiled gently, nodding. "It's the best, isn't it?" Nick raised an eyebrow in question. "Knowing your partner so well." Kurt continued. "Knowing they trust you enough to show you the parts of themselves that no one else sees."

It was true. His bond with Jeff had always been like that, best friends and confidants. Jeff knew him better than anyone. And he knew Jeff better than anyone. "I know him like the back of my hand, but I can't figure out what to give him for Valentine's Day." Nick sighed as he doodled on his homework. Everything seemed like too much or too little. Jeff deserved something amazing, and thoughtful, and it had to be perfect.

"He's going to love anything you give him." Kurt reassured him. "Because he loves _you_."

Nick shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Cover his bed in rose petals and kick Blaine out for a few hours, I'm sure that will be more than enough of a gift for him." Kurt wiggled his eyebrows, and Nick blushed.

"We haven't- we're still waiting-" He stammered.

Kurt nodded his understanding. "Right. You shouldn't do anything until you're ready."

Nick twirled his pen, a whole flood of thoughts entering his brain. "I don't really know how to tell when I'll be ready. He's got a lot more experience than me. And he's more comfortable talking about that kind of stuff. I- wouldn't even know where to start." He hadn't thought about it in too much depth. Of course, he had thought about it before. But before dating Jeff, he'd always pushed the thought away, guilty. Now that they were together, he thought about that kind of intimacy more often. But again, he pushed it away, intimidated by the unknown.

"I was exactly the same. I pretty much put my fingers in my ears if someone even mentioned sex around me." Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "But luckily, I'm with the right person. And that's all that counts, really. It's not about experience or confidence or anything like that. It's about who you're with." He seemed to be daydreaming as he spoke. "If they make you feel comfortable and safe… you won't have to worry about what to do."

Nick stared at his doodled hearts. "I see your point." He still couldn't shake the anxiety, though. Now he was going to be worrying about this _and_ finding the perfect gift.

As if sensing his distress, Kurt spoke again. "There's no rush. You two love eachother. You have all the time in the world. You'll know when the timing is right."

"Will I?" Nick laughed a little, hoping to hide his nerves.

"Trust me." Kurt turned his bedside table lamp off, getting under the covers. "You'll know." Nick digested that, eventually shutting his desk lamp off and retiring to his bed as well. Kurt wasn't being specific enough. How do you know? What exactly happened that made you feel you wanted to keep going? What if he thought the timing was right, but it turned out it wasn't? What if he messed up or did something wrong? What if- "Nick?"

Nick turned over. "Yeah?"

"Stop worrying." Kurt said softly in the dark. "That boy is head over heels for you. He never takes his eyes off you. His hand is never not in yours. You can do no wrong in his eyes." Nick stayed silent, looking at the ceiling. "Those feelings won't change."

Nick nodded, though Kurt couldn't see him in the dark. He heard Kurt adjust his covers and doze off. Jeff loved him, Nick didn't doubt that. He would be patient and make it special and Nick knew that too. So why was he still so scared? He sighed and shut his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly and to forget about this in the morning.

* * *

When he woke up, he hadn't forgotten. His anxiety had mounted, and he didn't know what to do. He always turned to Jeff with problems, but now he couldn't really.

Valentine's Day was two days away. He needed to think of something to do. Or he needed to up his confidence, and fast. He kept mulling it over as he got ready to go to classes, to no avail. When he was finally beside Jeff in their history class, Jeff moved his desk to be closer to Nick's. "You look tired."

Nick gave him a look. "Thanks."

Jeff laughed. "Don't get me wrong, you're as handsome as ever. But did you sleep at all?"

Nick shrugged, opening his notebook. "A bit."

"Is there something bothering you?" Jeff asked softly, sounding a little more worried.

"No." He responded reflexively, but sighed. "Maybe. It's nothing."

Jeff touched his shoulder briefly. "We can talk after class?" Nick nodded a little, looking down to his work as the teacher came in and began the lesson. He didn't know what he'd say when they talked, but he tried his best to ignore it and focus on the class. After what seemed like eternities, the bell rang, and he gathered his things, hoping that the class had distracted his boyfriend and made him forget about the talk. But no such luck, Jeff was there picking up his backpack for him.

"Tell me the reason you weren't sleeping was something good." Jeff teased. "Like marathoning _Gossip Girl_ or having crazy sex dreams about me."

Nick avoided his gaze. "Neither."

Jeff moved into his line of sight. "Then what's up? You don't have to keep anything to yourself. I'm here to talk to." He nodded, and Nick swallowed, waiting until the classroom emptied out to speak.

"I… was actually marathoning _Friends_." He lied, and he could tell Jeff saw right through him. He held out his hand for his bag, which Jeff handed over.

"Liar. You hate _Friends_." He didn't say it accusingly. Just… curious. Worried. Nick wished he didn't have to hear that tone, but knew he was causing it.

He shrugged. "I have a newfound appreciation for Ross."

"Ross is the worst character, there's no way you watched the show." Jeff took his hand. "Nick, you're worrying me. Is it something with your parents?"

"No." Nick pulled his hand away, feeling awful when Jeff instantly looked hurt. "It's nothing. Okay?" Jeff didn't say anything, just looking at him. Nick knew Jeff would figure it out if he looked at him long enough, they knew eachother too well. So he stepped back. "I'll see you at lunch." He went to the door. "I love you." He added, glancing back.

Jeff nodded a little, pulling his own bag on his shoulder. "I love you too."

Nick left feeling guilty. He didn't want to lie. Especially not to Jeff. But what could he say? _I'm insecure and probably suck in bed, sorry._ He shook his head, going to class. There was only one solution.

* * *

Jeff and Nick didn't talk much the rest of the day, and the next day was similar. Only their usual goodmorning and goodnight texts, as well as the occasional cat gif from Jeff. Then it was Valentine's Day. He knew what he had to do.

He knew Blaine wasn't going to be in his and Jeff's room that night, thanks to Kurt. He also knew Jeff would be gone from the room for an hour to help Trent with choreography he'd missed in a Warblers rehearsal. So Nick showered and dressed, letting himself into Jeff's room when he was still gone. His stomach was doing flips. He was doing this tonight. It had been almost three months since they started dating. Jeff must expect this, he and Sebastian started having sex much earlier than that. Nick would get over himself, he could do this. He had brought roses, and he left them on Jeff's bed. After a second, he moved them to the desk, wringing his hands nervously. Was it normal to feel so nervous?

Jeff opened the door then, and Nick turned as if he'd just been caught committing a crime. Jeff smiled, pulling his headphones out. "Hey, I was just gonna text you."

Nick tried not to let on that his heart was beating out of his chest. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Jeff grinned, coming over and kissing him chastely. "Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful. I wish we could go to dinner or something, but I figured we could spend the night here. I think it's a good night to watch some cheesy romance movies and cringe because we're just like them now." He teased. Nick barely laughed, shifting his weight.

"I was- thinking we could do something else."

Jeff raised an eyebrow, not catching on. "I mean, there's not much to do around here, but we could always go on a walk or something? It's pretty cold-"

"No." Nick shook his head, going to the door and taking a deep breath, closing it and turning around, hoping Jeff got what he was trying to say.

He tilted his head a little. "So… we'll stay here-" Nick went over to him again, kissing him quickly, then again, this time cupping his jaw. His mind was racing. How do you initiate this? His hands moved to Jeff's chest, then slipped off his blazer, dropping his own as well. "Oh." Jeff breathed, finally catching on.

Nick stopped kissing him for a second, but stayed close, working on Jeff's tie, and then the buttons of his shirt. Jeff let him set the pace, keeping his hands at Nick's hips. "You should be wearing less clothes." Nick managed, and Jeff complied, pulling off his loosened tie and shirt. He'd seen Jeff shirtless before, obviously. But not in this context. He didn't know what to do next.

"How about you make things even?" Jeff suggested softly, smiling a little as he undid Nick's shirt, a lot less clumsily than Nick had pulled at Jeff's. Nick nodded wordlessly, short of breath even though they hadn't done anything yet. Jeff didn't take off Nick's undershirt, leaving it up to him, and after a quick thrill of nerves Nick pulled it off. Jeff kissed him gently, but Nick knew that wouldn't lead anywhere. He had to take control of the situation, and show Jeff he wanted this. Even if he wasn't sure yet himself. He pushed Jeff slightly, backing him to the wall behind him, kissing him as if he wasn't scared at all.

Jeff was clearly surprised, but he let Nick keep him there, not making any moves until Nick did it first. He was making all these breathy sounds, Nick felt hot all over. "I want you." Nick said breathlessly between kisses, keeping his eyes closed. He felt Jeff tense slightly.

"Babe, we can slow down." Jeff tried, but Nick cut him off, shaking his head.

"I know what I want. I'm ready." He pushed, feeling almost lightheaded. There was so much happening at once. Unsure of what to do next, he moved his hand to Jeff's belt, trying to unfasten it. But his fingers were shaking.

Jeff put his hand over Nick's. "Wait a minute, we should talk about this-"

"Do you want me, too? Don't you want this?" Nick sank to his knees, grappling with the belt again and trying to stop himself from overthinking.

"Nick, stop." Jeff got to his knees too, taking Nick's hands. He went to say something else, but Nick didn't hear it. He pulled his hands back from Jeff's, and he felt tears prick at his eyes. Jesus, he couldn't start crying right now. Jeff didn't want him like that. Sebastian probably didn't fumble or not know what to do. "Talk to me." Jeff begged, and Nick only ducked his head, seeing his tears hit the carpet.

"I'm not good enough for you."

"What?" Jeff didn't touch him, he knew Nick needed space. But he still moved closer.

"I won't be able to- be sexy or do what you'll want in bed." Nick hated himself for crying, he was acting like a baby. But he couldn't help it, all the anxiety he had built up for this had come to a breaking point. "I'll never be like Sebastian."

There was a silence, Nick just sniffling. And then Jeff was guiding his chin up. "Why on earth would I want you to be anything like Sebastian?"

Nick felt stupid when he heard it out loud. "I- Because he wasn't inexperienced."

Jeff held out his hand for Nick to take. After a minute, Nick took it. "I'm in love with you. Do you know what that means?" Jeff kept his gaze, and Nick shrugged.

"Yeah." He wiped his eyes.

"What does it mean?"

He sniffed, shaking his head. "I don't know, you can tolerate me for long periods of time."

Jeff rolled his eyes, squeezing his hand. "It means that I love you and everything that comes with being your boyfriend. I love your smile, and how you're such a damn perfectionist, and how you want to be better than your circumstances. I love how talented you are, and how you stand up for yourself and for me." Jeff searched his face for understanding. "I don't care if you don't know what you're doing in bed. I don't want you to be like Sebastian. I want you to be Nick Duval."

Nick blushed, feeling even more dumb. "I'm sorry. I just thought… I don't know. I didn't know what to get you for Valentine's Day and Kurt made a sex joke and it made me realize that we haven't done anything sexual and you probably wanted that and I wasn't doing enough and- I don't know." He repeated, face burning.

Jeff shook his head slowly. "You have it all wrong, okay? Sex should be something special. Not something you do just because you think you have to. I'd never just expect it from you." Jeff smiled a little. "And for the record? You're totally sexy."

Nick laughed under his breath, drying his eyes. "Shut up."

"You are!" Jeff laughed, protesting. "I hate wearing a tie, but fuck, you look so damn fine in your uniform." He grinned, leaning in. "Or when you got dressed in that suit for dinner, you looked like a model." Nick knew his face must be red, but he couldn't help but smile as Jeff continued. "And even when you don't get dressed up, you're gorgeous. When your hair is all messy and you're in a pair of my sweatpants… it's my kryptonite." He kissed him, Nick's heart fluttering. Not from anxiety this time.

"Am I sexy after I have a breakdown on the floor in front of you?" He smiled halfheartedly, and Jeff just kissed him again.

"I was too worried to notice." He teased, brushing his fingers through Nick's hair. "But honestly? That part where you kissed me against the wall?" He whistled. "You've got moves, Duval. I think you know what you're doing for damn sure."

Nick laughed, blushing and pulling his T-shirt back on. "I'll keep in mind that you like that." He teased, and Jeff wiggled his eyebrows.

"Please do."

Jeff pulled a sweatshirt from his closet and tossed it to Nick, changing into sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt himself. Nick put it on, loving how it smelled like him. "This is mine now."

Jeff laughed, sitting on the bed and moving over to make room for him. "Consider it your Valentine's Day gift."

Nick sighed. "I didn't get you anything."

"I think making out with my boyfriend is more than enough of a gift." Jeff laughed, pulling his laptop into their laps and logging into Netflix. Nick leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Next year I'll do something so good, okay? You'll be blown away."

Jeff kissed the top of his head. "You never fail to impress."

Jeff picked something cheesy and awful, and Nick sighed contentedly. He was silly to have thought that Jeff would be that shallow as to only want sex. Jeff wanted him happy. Comfortable. No matter what. In that moment, watching a poorly made rom-com, cuddled up to Jeff in his sweatshirt, he thought he must be the luckiest person alive.

* * *

"I'm not going to a dance. I'm not."

"Please? Please, Nick. I'll do anything you want." Jeff begged him, grabbing his hands.

Nick groaned, turning to him in the busy hall. "No, Jeff. School dances are the worst things in the whole world, it's a known fact."

"I'd make it fun though, we'll request songs and dance and it'll be so great." Jeff turned out his bottom lip in a pout. "Come on. We're celebrating the end of our sophomore year, it's a big deal!"

Time had flown by, and somehow they were in April, nearly towards the end. Two more months of their sophomore year. It seemed still too long. "So we can celebrate it by skipping the dance."

"What do I have to do to convince you?" Jeff shook his head. "Formally ask you to be my date to it?"

Nick smiled, rolling his eyes. "It might sway me. But probably not."

"Can I have everyone's attention, please?" Jeff raised his voice, and the crowded hall halted, the students looking to Jeff, who was clearing a space. Nick laughed, covering his face. He should've known Jeff wouldn't do something like this half-assed. "I would just like the whole hall to witness me asking my wonderful boyfriend to next week's Spring dance." The Warblers in the hall clapped, and the other guys, though confused, joined. "Nick Duval, would you do me the incredible honor of accompanying me to so-called stupid dance next Friday night?" Jeff was grinning like an idiot, and how could Nick say no?

"Fine." He crossed his arms, trying to hide his smile.

"He said yes!" Jeff motioned for the crowd to cheer, and they did, Nick blushing as he pulled him back to the side of the hallway.

"You are absolutely insane." Nick laughed, leaning in. "It's still gonna be dumb."

Jeff smiled, pecking his lips. "We won't know until we try. Maybe I just want an excuse to see you dressed like Bond and dance with you for hours."

Nick took his hand and walked to class with him. "So you're going to wear a tie?"

"If it's the price I have to pay." Jeff kissed his knuckles, and Nick just shook his head, pulling him into class. He really was crazy. Nick loved it.

* * *

When he got ready for the dance, he was feeling nostalgic. The last time he'd done this was eighth grade. Jeff had gone with a girl. Nick had worn Jeff's favorite color. He'd sat on the sidelines and felt his heart break because he'd never be able to take Jeff to a school dance. There were so many things that had been out of his reach then. But now…

"There he is." Jeff entered his room with a wide smile, Blaine behind him. "You look like a million bucks, Prince of Ohio." He'd called him that at their last dance, too. Difference was, now he could pull Jeff in close and kiss him. And he did.

"If you're dating me, you're also a prince." Nick pointed out.

Jeff grinned. "We're Dalton royalty."

Blaine and Kurt laughed. "Don't let it get to your head." Kurt warned. He was dressed in the same soft blue of his eyes, Blaine matching.

"Too late." Jeff smiled, turning to Nick again. "Red was a good choice for us." He pinned a small red poppy to Nick's lapel. "And I know it's not really typical for a guy to wear a corsage. But this isn't technically one." Jeff pulled something from his pocket, a silky red ribbon. The one that had been tied to the neck of Jeff's guitar when Nick had given it to him. The one that Jeff had looped around his crutches at the last school dance.

"I can't believe you still have that." Nick tried to hide how full his heart felt with an eye-roll.

Jeff laughed, taking Nick's hand and tying it onto his wrist in a lopsided bow. "Sorry it's crooked."

"It's perfect." Nick muttered, looking down at it. So much had changed since the last time he'd seen this. He felt emotional, and knew Jeff could tell, because he drew him closer and kissed his forehead.

"Let's go?" Jeff smiled, squeezing Nick's shoulder.

Nick nodded, smiling again as he leaned into him, Kurt and Blaine leading the way out of the dorm. Because it was a combined dance with Country Day, it was being hosted at a hall off-campus, and Kurt volunteered to drive there, so long as he had complete radio control. Jeff had protested this vehemently, but finally complied when Kurt promised Jeff was allowed to request three songs. Once they started driving, Kurt regretted his decision, as the three songs Jeff chose were "Stacy's Mom", "Mambo No. 5", and "Ignition".

The group let him had his fun, thankful to gain the aux back before they got to the dance. Truthfully, Nick felt a little nervous about going. He mainly hung around the Warblers at school, what if guys from Dalton he hadn't really associated with before saw him with Jeff and had a problem? Or what about the Country Day girls? There would be girls he went to middle school with that didn't know he was gay. He hated that he still stressed so much about what others thought about him, after all, he was out already. And he was proud. But it didn't make it any less anxiety-inducing.

"Thinking of some awesome dance moves?" Jeff nudged him, and Nick looked over, laughing.

"Don't need to think, they come naturally."

Jeff grinned. "I knew I picked the right guy."

Nick smiled, pulling at his bow. There was no reason to be nervous, he knew. He had Jeff right there. It could be fun. Jeff would keep him laughing. They finally arrived, and they piled out, Nick taking a deep breath. This wasn't like the last dance. Tonight, he had Jeff. And he'd always have Jeff. So he pulled him inside and left his worries in the car.

They walked in the building, and Nick widened his eyes a bit. It was definitely nicer than their eighth grade dance. This seemed classy; there were fairy lights strung everywhere he looked, and an ornate chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Tables circled the dancefloor, draped in white linen and adorned with centerpieces noting the table number. There was music playing, as there were already people there, and Nick slipped his hand in Jeff's. Jeff grinned and led him to a table, with Kurt and Blaine close behind. "They went all out."

"Guess so." Nick laughed, sitting with him. Students continued to file in, spotting their friends and joining their tables. Trent sat with them for a while, as did a few other Warblers, and a couple girls from Country Day that knew Blaine from his middle school. And then Nick recognized someone. "Cara?"

The girl turned, widening her eyes and smiling. "Nick!" She hurried over, hugging him before sitting beside him. "Oh my gosh, it's been forever."

"It has." He agreed, laughing and shaking his head. It felt a bit surreal. This was the first person he came out to. Now he was sitting with his boyfriend, out of the closet completely. Tonight seemed to carry a theme; growth.

"Hey, Cara." Jeff smiled, waving.

"Jeff!" She hugged him too, leaning over Nick to do so, smile still wide. "Oh, it's so good to see you guys. Last time I saw you, you were in a cast." She nodded to Jeff.

"And I was still the best dancer there." He winked, and she laughed.

"You'd better prove it tonight. Oh, Sadie is around somewhere, remember her? She'll want to see you." Cara scanned the room, and Nick's first thought was that he hoped she didn't find her. But he mentally kicked himself. Sadie was a nice person. And she and Jeff hadn't talked in years. And it wouldn't matter if they did, because Jeff was with him now. And he loved him. He didn't realize he was staring at Jeff while these thoughts ran through his head, but Jeff brought him out of it with a kiss on his nose.

"I'll leave you two to catch up. I'm gonna get us drinks, I'll keep an eye out for Sadie." Jeff smiled, getting up and heading over to the table of refreshments.

Cara looked back to Nick with raised eyebrows after seeing the kiss. "Are you two…?"

Nick blushed, smiling as he nodded. "Yeah."

"Finally." She laughed, and Nick pretended to gasp. "I always knew you two would end up together. It's about time." She smiled, squeezing his arm. "You really deserve this."

He smiled a little, looking over to Jeff at the punch bowl, making easy conversation with a group of people he'd probably never met before, bobbing his head to the music. "I don't deserve him, actually."

"You two are made for eachother. I could see that years ago." She teased, and Nick rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"We started dating in December. So I feel like we're still pretty new. But at the same time… I don't know. It feels like it's been in the making for years. I guess it has been." He laughed, finally looking back to her.

She nodded. "Well, I'm happy for you. So you're… out? Like, completely?"

He breathed in, nodding slowly. "Yup."

"And how has everyone been about it?" She said softly.

"Wonderful, for the most part. It's a little more complicated in the family area." He laughed a little to cover how he felt about that situation. "But that's not a good topic of conversation at a dance." He smiled. "How have you been?"

"Good, good." She smiled back. "Is it too early to say I'm looking forward to graduation?"

Nick laughed. "No. Not at all."

They chatted a bit more, and Nick introduced her to Kurt and Blaine when they came back to the table, and Jeff came back after catching up with Sadie. "It was so great seeing you again." Cara said sincerely, hugging Nick tight. "Don't be a stranger, okay? Text me."

He promised he would, letting her go and turning back to Jeff. "God, it's weird to catch up with people you haven't seen in so long."

"But good." Jeff passed him a cup. "She's sweet."

"She is." Nick agreed, smiling a little to himself. "She was the first person I came out to."

Jeff smiled, tilting his head. "Really?"

He nodded, moving his chair closer to Jeff's so he could rest his free hand on his knee. He hadn't realized his want for physical affection until after he started dating Jeff. Jeff had always been a hands-on person, and that was the same in their relationship. But now that Nick was free to touch him with feeling like he had to keep catching himself, he found he was a pretty touchy person as well. At least, with him. He wanted to be close to him, even in the small ways. "She guessed it before I even knew, because she thought I had a crush on you."

Jeff laughed. "Eighth grade me is so flattered."

Nick smiled, flicking Jeff's shoulder. "Tenth grade you should still be flattered."

"I am." He leaned in for a kiss, Nick keeping it brief. But there would be more later.

"How was Sadie?" Nick asked, tracing his thumb over Jeff's knee.

He shrugged. "Good. She has a boyfriend, I guess she moved on from me." He teased, Nick wondering how anyone could get over Jeff Sterling.

"Well, she's crazy."

"And I'm crazy for you." Jeff grinned, proud of his line, and Nick dragged him out of his seat.

"Let's dance." He laughed, pulling him over to the middle of the room where the tables were pushed back, clearing a space for everyone. It was an upbeat song playing right now, and Jeff pulled out his better dance moves, though most of the time everyone was just jumping around and laughing. The last time he'd danced with Jeff, they'd both had alcohol in their system, and hadn't resisted being closer and letting their inhibitions go. But now, Nick stayed aware of the others around him, keeping his touches PG, Jeff, not quite.

"You're a really good dancer." Jeff said over the music, moving close to him as they danced to music that was admittedly not that bad.

Nick laughed, trying not to get too caught up in the feel of Jeff's body against his. "I think you're the dancer in this relationship." Nick was always blown away by how Jeff could move. Even now, in a crowded room surrounded by their classmates, Jeff didn't hold back, and he was easily the best one there. It made Nick want to drag him out to Kurt's car and kiss him senseless.

Jeff smiled, taking Nick's hips and making him part of his dance, guiding him to the same beat his hips were moving. "Then you're a fast learner."

Nick bit his lip against a smile. "Thanks."

The song switched to a slow ballad, which Nick decided was the worst song ever, because it meant Jeff wasn't dancing or putting his hands where Nick wanted them. "May I have this dance?" Jeff stepped back, extending his hand.

Nick laughed. There could be pros to a slow song, he supposed. "You may." He took Jeff's hand, smiling when Jeff pressed a kiss to his knuckles before drawing him close again, this time without that charged energy. They swayed back and forth, Nick taking a moment to look around them. Many guys paired off with Country Day girls, but there was still stragglers on the sidelines. He spotted Kurt and Blaine, looking totally wrapped up in eachother, talking softly and closely, the same lovestruck smiles they'd had when they met. He wondered how he and Jeff looked from the outside. And when he turned his head back to him, he realized Jeff was staring at him with that same expression. Like he was head over heels in love.

"I'm glad we came." Nick admitted, smiling when Jeff's smile grew.

"Me too. You're the most gorgeous guy here." Jeff leaned close to say it, his lips brushing Nick's ear. He had goosebumps. What if this was all a dream? It was too good to be true. But then Jeff's mouth touched his jaw, his neck, next to his mouth, so lightly that he could just barely feel it, but it still left his skin tingling.

"Hey guys, when do you feel like heading out?" Blaine interrupted them, and Nick had never been more grateful. He wanted to bring Jeff home, now.

"I'm ready." He looked to Jeff, catching his eye. Jeff nodded slowly.

"Me too."

"I'll get Kurt." Blaine smiled, pushing back a few unruly curls that had escaped the gel from a long night and disappearing to find him.

Nick trailed his hand slowly down Jeff's chest. "I'm ready." He repeated, hoping Jeff would catch the double meaning.

He seemed to, judging by the way his mouth parted slightly, and his gaze regarding him with something that made butterflies swirl in Nick's stomach, bringing him close again. Before he could say anything, Blaine had returned with Kurt, and the group walked out to Kurt's car. Nick tried to let the cooler night air bring him back to reality. But even Jeff's hand in his was enough to make him feel hot.

The ride home, Kurt and Blaine chattered away, and if they noticed Nick and Jeff were silent, they didn't comment. Not until they arrived back at the dorms, at least, where Kurt gave him a knowing look and said he'd be in Blaine's room for the night, pushing Blaine down the hall with a chuckle. Nick nodded, looking to Jeff and pulling him gently into the room. "You can say stop at any time." Jeff said softly, slipping off his blazer and running his hand down Nick's arm before taking his off also.

"I know." Nick kissed him, not fast and needy like the last time they'd attempted to go far. Or, Nick had attempted, at least. This time, their mouths were pliant, Nick trying to commit this all to memory. The way he tasted, the way he felt against him, the smell of his cologne. He loosened his tie, then Jeff's, taking them off and unbuttoning his shirt. He wasn't in a hurry now, wasn't shaking. He trusted Jeff so fully. Since that incident, they'd fooled around, of course. But it didn't go beyond taking their pants off.

Now, they got undressed to their boxers, Jeff's hands everywhere, Nick's heart beating fast in the best way, because this time he knew this was where they usually separated to cool off, but not tonight. They ended up on the bed, Nick's narrow twin bed, the sheets soft and cool on his heated skin. "I love you." Jeff murmured, his mouth at his neck like he had at the dance, but this time they were alone, and Nick's head tilted back, hand finding Jeff's and squeezing it tight. He kept hearing Jeff say it, that he loved him, leaving the words everywhere his mouth travelled. Over his collarbone, his wrists, low on the lines of his hips until he couldn't hear Jeff's whispered 'I love you's' because he was breathing out Jeff's name louder.

It was perfect. Everything about it, everything about Jeff. Later, they collapsed into the pillows, still keeping close together to be able to fit on the bed. He didn't know if he was feeling Jeff's heartbeat or his own. He pushed his sweaty hair back, catching his breath and resting his hand on Jeff's back. "Wow."

Jeff laughed lazily, his lips grazing Nick's jaw. "Wow, for sure." Nick tried to commit this to memory too; the flush of Jeff's skin, the way the sheets tangled between their legs, how Jeff's hair stuck a bit to his forehead and the back of his neck.

They managed to get their boxers back on and slip under the covers, but couldn't be bothered to do much else, sleepy and content and in love. Always more in love.

* * *

 **I kept their messing around pretty implied rather than outright, but you get the gist (: I hope you guys liked this, let me know what you want more or less of, or review just to leave your feels. Next chapter=upperclassmen Niff, so get ready.**


	14. Chapter 14

**So this is my quickest update yet, wow. Couple big changes in this chapter. I figure I won't have another update up for a little bit because of Thanksgiving break, but who knows, I do love writing this story. So for now, have another chapter (:**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

Nick's sophomore year ended in a flash. Before he knew it, he was done with classes, cursing the fact that he had to move out of Dalton for the summer. But he knew he could stay at Jeff's everyday if he wanted to. He really wanted to.

Their first day of summer break, Nick biked to Jeff's house as usual, carrying his backpack with the yearbook stuffed inside. He let himself into the house and was greeted by Jeff sock-sliding down the hall and into him, knocking them both off their feet. "Jesus!" Nick gasped, landing on his back and getting the wind knocked from his lungs. Jeff was a laughing mess on top of him.

"I meant to slide into your arms and kiss you oh-so-passionately." Jeff managed through his laughter, Nick struggling to catch his breath as he too started laughing.

"Smooth." Jeff grinned and kissed him, Nick pushing him off so he could keep trying to breathe again , rolling his eyes with a smile. "I brought us the yearbook to look through." He knew Jeff hadn't bought it, he didn't have the budget. Nick especially hated it this summer because now Jeff had a job, and Nick worried he'd see him a lot less than he was used to.

"Sweet, I'm gonna deface your picture." Jeff snatched the backpack from his arm, scrambling to his feet and taking off down the hall, still slip-sliding in his socks.

Nick groaned, pushing to his feet and chasing after him. "It's too hot for this!" He narrowly missed colliding with Jeff's younger brother, chasing Jeff up the stairs and grabbing his wrist. "Got you." He panted, pulling him into his bedroom and pinning his arm to the wall above his head.

"Oooh." Jeff had clearly planned the outcome, grinning like an idiot. "What are you gonna do now that you have me?"

Nick pinned his other arm and kissed him, pressing their bodies to the wall. "What do you want me to do?" He muttered, letting his teeth graze close to Jeff's ear where he knew he was sensitive.

Jeff was easily distracted, humming approval under his breath. "That." Nick was momentarily distracted too. Seeing Jeff like this, _making_ him like this in his old room, the room where Nick had fallen in love with his best friend over and over, it made his head swim. But he collected himself, grinning and taking the backpack in Jeff's moment of weakness.

"I'll take that." He pulled away with a smile.

"Babe." Jeff whined, hands dropping back to his sides. "Tease."

Nick winked and pulled the yearbook out, settling on Jeff's bed. "Let's see what we have here." Jeff begrudgingly joined him on the bed, but Nick knew he wasn't actually mad, and within a minute Jeff was moving to sit between Nick's legs, resting back against Nick's chest and leaning his head on his shoulder. Nick kissed the top of his head and opened the yearbook. He flipped through the boring stuff, finding their pictures first. "I hate that picture." Nick covered his grainy image with his thumb.

Jeff swatted his hand away. "Shut up, you look good." He drew the book closer to his face and kissed Nick's picture. "Oh, Nick! Love of my life! Future father of my children! You're so adorable I can't stand it!" He mocked the voice of a teenage girl, putting his hand over his heart.

Nick laughed, but secretly, his heart fluttered at Jeff's words. Love of his life. Father of his kids. It was enough to make Nick tilt Jeff's jaw back and kiss him again. "You're a dork."

Jeff laughed and reached over to his bedside table, grabbing a pen and drawing a heart around Nick's photo. "And you're so adorable I can't stand it." He teased, this time in his normal voice.

Nick flipped the pages until he saw Jeff's picture, smiling at it and stealing the pen from Jeff's hand to draw a heart around his picture as well. "Damn, I'm lucky."

Jeff drew his brows into a unibrow on the page despite Nick's protests. "Even better."

"Gimme that." Nick took the pen back, laughing. "You ruined it."

Jeff pulled it back easily, drawing a heart on Nick's wrist. "I did not." Nick let him draw their initials inside the heart outline before taking the pen back and drawing an 'L' on Jeff's forehead.

"Oops."

Jeff laughed, tackling him into the mattress, yearbook toppling to the floor. "Oh, you're in for it now." Jeff held him down with his arm across his chest, drawing what Nick knew was a penis on his cheek.

"Jeff!" He laughed, unable to push him off.

"It's art." Jeff protested, fighting to stay on top of him.

Nick finally gave in, mostly because he was worried the pen would end up in his eye. "I hate you."

Jeff capped the pen and tossed it off the bed. "Mhm."

"I do."

"Right." Jeff smiled, spreading out on top of Nick. Nick found he actually liked the position a lot. He liked feeling Jeff's weight on him, a reminded that he was there. Even if it was 80 degrees out and sweat was sticking the hair to his forehead. This summer would be good, he could feel it.

"The heat makes me so tired." Nick sighed after a few minutes in thought, closing his eyes. Jeff murmured a response, clearly already sleep-drowsy. Nick laughed to himself at how quickly Jeff could fall asleep. "Naptime?"

"Naptime." Jeff affirmed, his body lax as he fell asleep. Nick drew lazy circles over his back and started to drift off as well, glancing over to where the yearbook had fallen to see it open on a page illustrating a spread from the dance. Towards the center was a photo of him and Jeff he hadn't known was taken. Jeff was retying the bow on Nick's wrist, leaned into him and Nick's hand in his. Nick was staring at Jeff like he'd hung the stars. As far as Nick was concerned, he had. He fell asleep thinking about red bows and their initials in a penned heart.

* * *

Jeff worked over the summer as a lifeguard. And a lawnmower. And a babysitter. And a tutor. Nick felt he hardly saw him anymore.

"What kids even need tutoring over the summer?" Nick complained one night when he particularly missed him, laying in his bed on the phone.

"Ones that need to be prepared for the school year so they can make good enough grades for Dalton." Jeff answered, and he heard kids in the background.

"Aaron and Jason or babysitting?" Nick asked, and Jeff sighed.

"Babysitting Aaron and Jason."

"Is your mom giving you anything for it?"

Jeff laughed a little. "Considering she gets my paychecks, that would be counterproductive."

Nick frowned. "You should get to keep some of that. You work so hard."

"I keep some sometimes. But I'm offering it to her, not being asked. She needs it more than I do." There was a silence, Nick understanding enough without fully being able to understand.

"You're still on scholarship for next year, right?"

"Yeah." Jeff breathed out in the receiver, and Nick felt he could hear him run his hand through his hair, stressed. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep it though. Everyone says junior year is the hardest, and I was barely keeping the GPA I need last year."

"You're so smart." Nick shook his head. It was true, and unfair. Jeff was the type that just knew things; he got good grades without studying, could write an essay in under an hour, could throw together a project on a whim and ace it.

"Maybe. But… I'm not always so conscious with deadlines." He admitted, and Nick knew that.

"Well that's an easy fix. I'll help you stay on track." He promised. He would do anything be could to keep Jeff there. Sure, some of it was for selfish reasons. He wanted to go to the same school as him, to see him in the halls and visit his dorm at night. But mostly he wanted to do it for Jeff, who deserved this. Who was just as smart as everyone else there, if not smarter, and had proved it over and over. Who needed an escape to live in a dorm and be a student and a teenager, not a full-time employee and stand-in father.

Jeff's smile was audible. "You make me a thousand times more distracted, Duval."

He smiled too, closing his eyes as he spoke. "Well, I can't help that." He teased, loving the sound of Jeff's laugh on the other end. He'd sounded so exhausted.

"Wanna meet up tonight? We can get sloppy on a shit ton of Mike's hards, we've got a bunch leftover from a barbecue."

Nick smiled. "Sounds perfect. The park?"

"Yeah, I'll be able to escape here in a couple hours- Jason, don't touch that!" Jeff's voice was far-away for a second, then returned. "I gotta go. See you tonight babe, love you. Jason!" Jeff hung up before Nick could answer, and his heart ached for him. It shouldn't be on Jeff to watch the kids all the time, like he was their parent. Jeff missed out on childhood in so many ways. He stared at his ceiling. He didn't want to wait until tonight to see him. He left his house and hopped on his bike, pedaling to Jeff's house. He'd help him out. Jeff needed some stress relief. He reached the yellow house and entered, calling out that it was him so Jeff would know it wasn't another thing to worry about. Jeff emerged from the kitchen dragging Jason behind him. "I don't think now is a good time." Jeff sounded like he hadn't slept in years. He also had a cut on his cheek that was bleeding.

"I'm here to help you babysit. What happened there?" He frowned, and Jeff wiped the blood.

"He nicked me with some scissors."

Jason pulled away from Jeff and ran back into the kitchen, laughing like it was all a game. At nine years old, it was. "Catch me, Jeff!"

Jeff had to wipe the blood again, noticing it dripping. "Jason, I'm not fooling around, you need to sit down-" Aaron made an appearance then, popping out from behind a corner to shoot Jeff with a Nerf gun in the back of his head. "I said not to keep aiming that at me." Jeff made a grab for it, Aaron running as he giggled.

Then both brothers re-emerged, Jason wielding the scissors again. "Let's play superheroes, I'm the bad guy!" Jason yelled.

Jeff looked on the verge of breaking down. Nick stepped in. "Speaking of superheroes, do you guys wanna watch a superhero movie? That would be so fun, right? And I can make popcorn." He tried to make the offer enticing.

Aaron and Jason regarded eachother, then nodded. "Let's watch Batman!"

Nick found the movie and slid it into the DVD player, making sure to take the scissors and Nerf gun with the excuse that superheroes didn't need those things. He sat the boys on the couch and told them he'd be right back, taking Jeff's hand and pulling him into the kitchen. "You need to quit one of your jobs. Or two. You're wearing yourself too thin."

Jeff sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm not."

Nick searched the cabinets for popcorn, grabbing a package and popping it in the microwave. "Yes, you are. You work everyday. You're only sixteen, it's not fair."

"It doesn't matter what's fair or not fair." Jeff leaned against the counter. "It's just how it is."

Nick pushed him to sit down in a kitchen chair, getting a washcloth and dampening it. "You'll still make money if you just keep one job, or cut down your hours at another."

"It won't be enough." Jeff let Nick wash the cut on his face, closing his eyes. "You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't." Nick muttered, cleaning up the cut. Jeff tilted his head away.

"If you're just gonna judge me, go back home."

It stung, but Nick didn't take it to heart, turning to the medicine cabinet for a bandage. "I'm not judging you. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Well, I'm fine."

Nick put the bandaid on Jeff's cheek. "Promise me you'll work less."

Jeff stood up and took the finished popcorn from the microwave. "I can't." He brought it into the living room and gave it to the boys, coming back in to wash his hands of the butter.

"I can lend you money if you need it-" Nick regretted the words the second he said them, watching Jeff shut the faucet off with a frustrated shove.

"You don't even realize how insulting that is, do you?"

Nick held his ground. "No, I'm trying to help you-" He repeated, Jeff looking exasperated.

"I don't need you to help me! I don't need you to throw your stupid money at me, can't you see I'm handling it? I don't work all these hours to get handouts. My life isn't like yours. Money isn't just _there_." Jeff had raised his voice, and Nick tried to re-evaluate the situation.

He remembered having a fight like this with him before. Jeff had always been sensitive on the topic. Going to a boarding school filled with privileged kids didn't help. "Jeff, please." Nick pleaded.

"Just go." Jeff turned back to the sink, drying his hands and avoiding Nick's eyes.

"Jeff." He moved closer to him. "I just want to help." He knew he'd said it a thousand times. But it was all he could say.

Jeff continued to avert his gaze. "It would help me if you left."

Nick willed himself not to cry. "What about tonight?"

"Don't know when my mom will get off her shift. Rain check."

He shook his head, staring at the back of Jeff's head. "Fine." He blinked back his unshed tears. "Whatever." He left, getting on his bike and pedaling hard on the way home, frustrated. Jeff was letting his pride get in the way. He was gonna wear himself down to nothing, he was working harder than most adults. He threw his bike down in the garage and stormed into his room. He wasn't even angry at Jeff. He was just angry at the whole situation. He cursed Jeff's dad for leaving them with nothing. He cursed all the jobs that overworked and underpaid his best friend. He cursed how expensive everything was just to get by.

He flopped on his bed, squeezing his eyes shut and wishing there was a way to give Jeff the money his family needed without him knowing. He ended up falling asleep as he dwelled on ideas, tired from the biking and the tears.

He didn't know how much later it was when he woke to his phone ringing, and he groggily fumbled for it in his pocket, answering without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry."

Nick sat up, rubbing his eyes. Jeff. "No, I'm sorry."

Jeff didn't push the subject. "My mom's home now. I wanna see you."

Nick glanced at the time. It was 11:38. "The park?"

"Yeah. See you." Jeff hung up, and Nick was wide awake now, getting up and grabbing a sweatshirt, though it was still warm outside. He was relieved Jeff still wanted to see him. He biked to the park, the same park they'd found the stray cat. The same park Jeff had broken his leg. He spotted Jeff sitting on the grass, looking just as young as he had the last times they'd been here, sitting with his knees drawn to his chest like a boy. Nick rested his bike against the swingset and went over, sitting beside him.

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean to be so pushy-" Nick started, but Jeff waved his hand.

"I was stressed. I was taking it out on you. I'm the one that's sorry." Nick saw the case of beer by Jeff's side, noticing two were already empty.

He laid back. "Well, you don't have to be. It makes sense why you're stressed." Jeff cracked open another, drinking it and not answering. "I know you don't need my help. You're capable of so much. I could never do it." He murmured.

Jeff laughed, but it wasn't funny. "Clearly I'm not capable of it."

There was a slight lilt to Jeff's words, and Nick watched him drink from his reclined position. "You are. You've been doing it all summer."

"Not well."

Nick looked up at the stars. "You're doing what you have to do. Be proud of that."

Jeff finished the bottle, pulling another without hesitation. "Hm."

Nick didn't stop him from drinking. He knew Jeff wanted to not think about anything for a while. "Tomorrow you should call out. We can hang out, set up your sprinkler."

Jeff played with the twist-off cap to his drink. "I shouldn't."

"Come on. It's just one day." He was determined to give Jeff a fun day and let him rest.

Jeff drank and considered. "I dunno." He spilled his drink on himself a little. "Fuck."

It was his fourth one. Nick took the remaining two bottles in the case and moved them out of reach. "It'll wash out." Jeff tipped the rest of the beer back, chugging it with his eyes squeezed shut. It spilled again slightly. Jeff tossed the empty bottle, muttering under his breath. "What?" Nick leaned closer to hear.

Jeff rested his hand on the back of Nick's neck, drawing him closer and whispering in his ear. "I'm so fucked up."

Nick took his hand. "Don't say that."

"I am." Jeff looked at him unfocused. "Fuckin' stereotype daddy issues. You know why- why I dated Sebastian?" Nick stayed quiet, still holding his hand. "'Cause he looked like he'd break my heart. I think I wanted him to. I wanted him to. 'Cause he'd never let me down, you know? I'd never be let down again if I just expect people to be shitty."

Nick swallowed. "I won't let you down."

Jeff laughed, hard, an insane sounding laugh. "I'm gonna let _you_ down! 'Cause I'm so fucked up." He repeated. Nick's heart was breaking. It was so easy to forget how scarred Jeff was, because he put on such an optimistic exterior. But in moments like these, Nick could see how what he'd been through affected him. How it still did. How his situation now was because of the past, and that's what was fucked up.

"You won't let me down-"

"Wanna know something so sick?" Jeff was still laughing. "I hated having sex with Sebastian. Fuck, I hated it. I hated it!" He called to some invisible audience. In the limited light, he saw Jeff was crying. "And I let him do whatever he wanted. And I let him look through my phone. And I let him set curfews and I didn't make him wear a condom. What does that say about me?" It was jarring, how Jeff was still laughing through his tears, like he was disconnected from what he was saying.

"It doesn't say anything about you, it's all him." Nick was on the verge of tears too, hand shaking in Jeff's.

"I'm disgusting." Jeff's free hand found one of his empty bottles, and he threw it at the swingset, flinching at the smash. "You should break up with me."

Nick started crying then, pulling on Jeff's hand like he was pulling him out of a dream. "I'm never going to do that."

"Why? Break up with me. Break up with me. You can do so much better."

"Stop it!" Nick protested, trying to shake him out of it. Jeff's laughter had ceased to tears, ducking his head into Nick's chest and sobbing so hard his body shook. Nick held him like he'd slip away at any moment. "I'm never leaving you. I'm never breaking your heart." He rambled, blurting anything that came to mind. "I'm in love with you. All of you. Every dark part you hate. You can't push me out. I won't let you."

Jeff's crying didn't subside for at least fifteen minutes. He was limp against Nick, tears just leaking out of his eyes. Nick whispered to him and combed his fingers through his hair and kissed his face until Jeff fell asleep in his arms. Nick moved their position to be laying down, and pulled Jeff close to him, wrapping his arms around him tight. He'd never let anyone hurt him again. His own tears didn't stop until the sky was starting to lighten again.

* * *

They didn't talk about it. Jeff woke up, and puked three times. He wiped his mouth and said he didn't remember what he said last night, and didn't want to know. Nick had complied.

But Jeff took some lesson from Nick. He started working less. Still five days a week, but now he kept weekends free. They went out on cheesy dates and acted like dumb teenagers and got tan and addicted to popsicles, which Jeff turned into a game called 'How Fast Can I Make Nick Sexually Frustrated', which always ended with the answer, _very fast_.

Jeff didn't bring up that night, but they didn't need to talk about it for Nick to help him. Nick made sure he was nothing like Sebastian. They only fooled around when they were both in the mood to (they almost always were). They both had the freedom to do what they wanted, and knew they didn't need to spend every second at eachother's sides (but they usually were). And Nick reminded Jeff how much he was worth constantly, how deserving he was of everything he had. He knew that Jeff wasn't cured of the things that haunted him, but he was coping, and it was enough. The rest of the summer was perfect.

So it only made sense that the school year was a rude awakening. As excited as he was to get back to Dalton and the Warblers, he'd miss laying around under the sun with Jeff, his boyfriend shirtless most of the time, and there was no homework or deadlines to interfere with their sleepovers. It all ended much too quickly, and before he knew it, Amy was driving them to school with their suitcases. Nick still didn't have a car, his parents wouldn't pay for one, as they were still pretending he didn't exist, and Jeff couldn't afford one. But Amy was more than happy to drop them off, hugging them both tight. "This is a big year, boys. It'll be great. You'll have the best time." She wiped her eyes, crying as she always did when she dropped Jeff off, and Jeff hugged her again.

"I'll text and call." Jeff promised.

"You too." Amy pulled Nick in for another hug. "I want updates from both of you."

"Of course." Nick laughed softly.

She finally left, the pair hauling their bags inside the building. "This could be the year we end up roommates." Jeff smiled. "I have a good feeling."

"With my luck, I'll end up with the worst roommate in the world." Nick laughed, lining up at check-in with him.

"Like that scrawny, loud Warbler that never shuts up." Jeff entertained the idea.

Nick groaned. "God, please no. As long as it's not him, I'll be fine."

The lines split into an alphabetized order, and they parted ways, Nick trying not to let his imagination run wild. What if he got stuck with someone that wouldn't let him practice his songs in the room? Or someone that snored like a chainsaw? What if he was paired with someone that didn't like that he had a boyfriend? What if he ended up with-

"Nicholas Duval? Your roomate is Sebastian Smythe, in room 226."

Nick stared at the woman who read the names off the list. "What? No. No, there must be some mistake."

She raised an eyebrow, showing him the list. "You are Nicholas, right?"

"Yes." He said miserably. Oh my God. This was not happening.

"Alright, then 226. Go on now." She looked around him for the next person. Nick dragged his feet as he stepped out of line. He must have done something morally unforgivable and God was cursing him. Karma was kicking his ass for something, he didn't know what.

"I'm with Max, remember him?" Jeff came up to him with a smile. "He was in our Chem class last year, really tall?" Nick said nothing, looking at him blankly. "Not ringing a bell?" Jeff shrugged. "You'll meet him later. Who did you get?"

"Sebastian."

Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "Ha ha, funny. Who did you really get?" Nick just shook his head slowly, and Jeff's smile dropped. "No."

"Yeah." He felt like throwing his suitcase against the wall. "I'm dropping out. I can't do this."

"No, you can do it, he's an asshole but you'll probably hardly see him." Jeff tried, but he looked just as upset as Nick. They walked to Nick's new dorm like they were headed to the guillotine. It felt like it. Luckily, Sebastian wasn't in there when they entered. "You can sleepover my dorm all the time, okay? I don't care if my roommate has a problem with it."

Nick tossed his suitcases on the bed. "No, no. You're right, he'll probably hardly be in here." He shook his head. He didn't want to make it seem like a huge deal, he knew the problems Jeff and Sebastian had and he didn't want to trigger any bad memories.

Jeff sighed. "Still, the invitation is open."

Nick leaned in and kissed him quickly. "Go meet Max. We'll grab dinner in a little bit."

He nodded, kissing back and leaving him in the room to unpack. Or, stare at his suitcases and wonder again how he could be screwed over so badly. After a few minutes of sulking, he started unpacking, hanging and folding his clothes and uniform pieces, hoping to be done before Sebastian showed up. But no such luck.

"Shit." Sebastian's voice made him turn, and there he was, leaning against the doorframe and chewing gum obnoxiously. "I thought someone was playing a joke on me, but turns out we're really roomies."

"I'm not too thrilled either." Nick stowed his empty suitcases in the closet, already losing his will to stick this out.

Sebastian moved his suitcases to his side of the room, looking around. "This is smaller than what I'm used to." He laughed to himself. "You must be used to hearing that, huh Duval?"

Nick flushed red. Don't punch him. Don't punch him. "Jeff has said some things about your performance that makes me think that's not true."

Clearly irritated that Nick had a comeback, Sebastian's smile faltered. "I'm surprised you two are still together." He had his easy persona back on in a second, popping his gum as he unloaded his bags. "He gets bored easily. And you're… well, you're not the most interesting kid in Ohio, are you?"

He crossed his arms. "I've managed to keep his attention for over six years now. You really don't know him at all." He knew that Sebastian knew how to push his buttons, he got him riled up so easily. He wanted to stay silent, brush him off. But he couldn't.

Sebastian laughed. "You're so sore. You hate that we dated."

Nick didn't care that he hadn't dressed in his uniform yet, he went to the door to pick up Jeff to go eat. "So does he." He left without looking back, feeling like a cartoon character with steam blowing out his ears. He wasn't going to let this kid ruin his year. This snarky, snobby, arrogant, taunting, vile, manipulative, rude-

"Oh, I was just coming to get you." He nearly walked right into Jeff without paying attention, shaking out of his thoughts.

"Hi." He said, wanting to pull Jeff into the nearest room and let him distract him. But his roommate was there. "You must be Max." He tried to shake his foul mood and give a smile.

Max smiled back, nodding. "That's me." He was tall, with dark skin and eyes. He was really attractive.

"This is my boyfriend, Nick." Jeff introduced him, taking his hand.

Nick waved with his free hand. "Nice to meet you." He felt bad for giving a bad first impression, he knew he must look as irritated as he felt.

"You too, I've heard a lot about you." Max laughed.

"In the half hour since we moved in?" Nick raised his eyebrows.

"I may have mentioned you once or twice." Jeff smiled, biting his lip and squeezing his hand.

Max snorted. "Yeah, and how you're the best singer in the show choir, how you guys met in the fifth grade, how your first kiss happened outside a restaurant where Jeff publicly humiliated his ex-"

Jeff shoved Max's arm, blushing as he laughed. "Okay, I mentioned you a _few_ times."

Nick's bad mood fell away a little, smiling at Jeff. "You're a dork."

The three of them walked to the dining hall, Nick chatting with Max and getting to know him, pushing all thoughts of Sebastian to the back of his head. They sat and ate, joined by a few other Warblers, as well as some of Max's friends from the lacrosse team. Max was a great guy; funny and pretty chilled-out, and Nick was grateful that at least Jeff had a good roommate. Everyone exchanged their summer stories, and given the budget of most of the students, many involved traveling. Nick just listened, playing with Jeff's hand and chiming into his stories when they involved Nick. By the time dinner was over, Nick thought that maybe, just maybe, this year wouldn't be all bad. He had the Warblers. He was already making new friends. He had Jeff.

He and Jeff left dinner before Max, walking down the hall and hoping to find Nick's room abandoned. But before they got there, they ran into Blaine. He definitely appeared to have traveled, his skin darkly tanned in the way that only a vacation gave. "What's up, dude?" Jeff grinned, pulling Blaine in for a hug. "How come I didn't see you all summer?"

Blaine laughed a little, shrugging. "Went to Italy. Interned at my father's office. Kept busy."

"Boring." Jeff teased. "I worked a lot, too. It sucked."

Blaine smiled in a funny way. A fake way. "Sorry to hear that."

"We had fun on the weekends." Nick laughed.

"Anyways, how was Italy?" Jeff prompted. Nick could tell something was a little off, but let him talk about his vacation, telling them about the sights and the things he'd done, promising to show them pictures later.

"It was good catching up with you guys. I'll see you around." He did the same tight smile, slipping past them.

"Wait, is Kurt already here? I wanna say hi." Jeff looked around.

Blaine shrugged. "I- don't know. Sorry."

Oh. "Have you talked to him?" Nick tested, beginning to catch on to what might be going on.

"Ah… not recently, no." Blaine shook his head, looking away.

Jeff glanced to Nick, also realizing, but being a lot less subtle than him. "You guys are okay, right?"

Their friend looked back to them, wearing his smile like it was another standard-issued piece of his uniform. "We actually- we broke up." You didn't have to know him well to see that if he wasn't putting his energy into fake-smiling, he'd be crying.

Nick was still taken aback when he heard it, despite suspecting something was wrong. "Blaine… I'm really sorry."

Blaine waved them off, taking a few steps backwards down the hall. "No worries. See you." He left Jeff and Nick standing in the hallway, both mildly shocked.

"They broke up." Jeff repeated, shaking his head slowly. "Jesus. I thought they'd be married before we graduated. They were so perfect for eachother."

Nick frowned. "I never even saw them get annoyed with eachother. What do you think happened?"

Jeff blew out a breath. "I can't even guess. Blaine looks heartbroken, though."

"Maybe Kurt will tell us what happened. I hope he's doing okay." Nick realized he hadn't seen Kurt really over the summer either. Nick and Jeff had kind of lived in their own little bubble.

They made their way to their rooms, Nick thankful to find his empty. Sebastian must have left for dinner. Jeff came in to see how Nick had semi-decorated his side, smiling at the framed photo of them on the desk. "Cute."

Nick pointed out the other photos of them pinned to his bulletin board. "You're the cute one, going on and on about me to Max, like you have a crush on me or something." He teased.

Jeff laughed, pulling him close. "Maybe I do have a crush on you."

Nick smiled. "You might be in luck. I sort of like you, too."

"Really? God, I'm lucky." Jeff kissed him, and Nick relaxed in his arms. If Jeff just kept kissing him, he wouldn't have to think about grades, or potential failed relationships, or-

"Hey, it's Sebastian. Remember me?"

The pair broke apart with a shared sigh. Sebastian had re-entered the room, holding out his hand for Jeff to shake, grinning like it was the funniest joke in the world. Jeff didn't take it. "Hey." He said simply, giving a brief nod.

"Am I interrupting something?" Sebastian tilted his head.

"Nope." Nick said, at the same time Jeff said "yes".

Sebastian did his signature dumb smirk. "My bad. How have you been, Jeff?"

Jeff ran a hand through his hair, smiling like Blaine had in the hallway. Fake. "Great."

"I've been good, too. Went to Paris over the summer. Remember how I said I'd take you sometime?" Again, Sebastian knew Jeff and his old relationship got Nick worked up. He had to physically bite his tongue.

"Hm, I can't really remember." Jeff shrugged, looking to Nick. "Wanna head to my room?"

Nick nodded, taking his hand. "Yeah."

Sebastian leaned against his bedframe, waving goodbye. "See you soon."

They both left without responding. "I've never met a bigger douchebag." Jeff muttered as they walked to his room, kicking at the carpet.

"Ask Max if it's okay for me to take up permanent residence on your floor." Nick sighed, shaking his head. He didn't want to ever go back to his room, and hear Sebastian drop little comments about dating Jeff and throw underhanded jabs at him.

"I told you, you're welcome anytime. Max won't care. And if he does, we'll introduce him to Bas, and he'll see the necessity in you staying with us." Jeff pointed out, and Nick nodded. But he knew he couldn't hide in Jeff's room the whole year. He entered his room and climbed on the bed with him, grateful that Max was there so they could all talk and keep Nick's mind off things. Eventually, Nick got tired, leaning into Jeff and listening to their conversation as he drifted off. He felt Jeff comb his fingers through his hair as he spoke quietly, and he liked the reminder he was there, focusing on his hand so he could fall asleep.

He'd do his best to survive his dorm. Only 179 more days with Sebastian as a roommate. But who's counting?

* * *

 **I couldn't resist bringing back this villain, so get ready for Adventures in Having the Worst Roommate Ever. Also, next chapter sheds light on a pretty sad breakup. Stay tuned, and if I don't post before then, Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating. Get in the holiday spirit by leaving reviews?**


	15. Chapter 15

**I hope everyone had a good holiday, I have an update sooner than expected. (: Enjoy the chapter!**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

Jeff decided that year he missed soccer. He hadn't played since middle school, at least on a team, and decided to pick it up again. He made the team easily, and practices started their second week of school. He had to split his time between the team and the Warblers, but was good enough at both activities that neither side minded he wasn't always present. But Nick missed him. Just like the summer, Jeff had busy days, between rehearsals and practices and classes and games and studying hard and long enough to keep his scholarship.

"You need to give yourself time to relax." Nick said to him when they were lounging in Jeff's room one night, Max having gone home for the weekend.

Jeff smiled, strewing his legs over Nick's lap. "I have everything under control. Are you gonna come to our first game on Tuesday?"

"I wouldn't miss it." He promised.

Jeff kissed him, slow and sweet. Those kisses always made Nick smile midway through. "Good, you're my good luck charm."

"I still think you need to de-stress, though." He nodded, looking around the room. His desk alone reflected how full Jeff's plate was. The surface was covered completely in homework, and the back of his chair was draped with parts of his school and soccer uniforms. There were about five empty five hour energy bottles scattered around as well.

Jeff leaned closer. "My shoulders are a little tight, I guess." He smiled, making a show of fluttering his lashes and moaning dramatically when Nick rubbed over his neck and shoulders.

Nick laughed, pulling Jeff's shirt off. "If you stop that, I'll actually take the knots out." Jeff complied, still laughing at himself, laying on his stomach on the bed and folding his arms under his head. Nick straddled his hips and rubbed his back, frowning when he felt how tight it was. "Babe, you need to take up meditation or something."

Jeff laughed, going limp under his touch, closing his eyes. "Mm, or I could just keep having you come over and do this."

Nick rolled his eyes, pressing the heels of his hands into Jeff's shoulder blades and down his spine. "Both."

"Meditation is scary." Jeff whined, breathing out when Nick flicked his back.

"It is not."

"It is!" He protested. "Just sitting there in dead silence, listening to your own thoughts, I don't like that."

Nick considered that as he kept massaging down Jeff's back, pressing his thumbs into the muscles that felt especially taut, smiling when Jeff made noises of approval. "I'll do it with you then."

"Or we can just fuck, that'll take all the tension right out." Jeff suggested, laughing lazily when Nick traced 'N O' on his back. "Fine. Maybe. But you don't need to worry about me, okay? You have enough to think about. Like Sebastian."

Nick groaned at the mention. "Jeff, I was just starting to forget about that nightmare."

"At least he leaves a lot." Jeff tried to cheer him up. That was true, Sebastian was also on the soccer team, as well as other clubs at the school, and at night he went god knows where. Nick wouldn't question small victories. But when he was in the room, Nick plotted ways to smother him in his sleep. He played his music too loud, touched all Nick's stuff, constantly talked about Jeff, and managed to spin everything Nick said into an insult.

"Would I get expelled if I locked him out of our room and threw the key out the window?"

Jeff thought. "Probably a detention or two. Maybe a short suspension. It would be worth it."

He sighed, stilling his hands on Jeff's back. "It's not fair. He drives me nuts."

"Let's drive him nuts back." Jeff shrugged.

"How?" Nick raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno. 'Misplace' his textbooks. Steal his food. Have really loud sex while he's trying to sleep." He teased, and Nick snorted, getting up for a second to turn Jeff over before getting on top of him again.

"Something tells me the last one is just a perk for you."

Jeff grinned, pulling him down for a kiss. "Is it a crime that I want him to know how much better my sex life is now?"

Nick kissed back, laughing. "Not a crime. Definitely a weird kink though."

"It is not a kink." Jeff laughed, pulling off Nick's shirt. "I just get insanely turned on whenever I think about it."

Nick shook his head, covering Jeff's mouth as he kissed his jaw. "No more talking about Sebastian while we're making out, it'll kill the mood." He felt Jeff smile under his hand, tilting his head and complying.

As he made quick work of Jeff's belt, he hoped Max visited home a lot.

* * *

Sunday night, Nick was stuck in his room doing homework. He wanted to be with Jeff, but they distracted eachother, and both had things due the next day. So Nick confined himself to his desk, thanking his guardian angel for Sebastian's unexplained absence. After a few hours of steady working, (with only a few texts to Jeff) Nick left to use the bathroom, and bumped into someone on the way. Kurt.

"Oh my God, I was starting to think you dropped out." Nick was surprised to see him. They didn't share any classes, so for the week they'd been at Dalton, Kurt had been MIA. He hadn't been going to Warblers rehearsals either. Maybe because Blaine was there.

Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "No, no. This school has my heart."

Nick smiled a little. "How was your summer?"

His friend shrugged. "Worked at my dad's shop. Raided every thrift store in Ohio." He laughed a little. "And… I'm sure you've heard about Blaine and I by now."

Nick bit his lip. "Uhm, yeah. Blaine mentioned it, briefly."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we just- I don't think we're a good fit."

Nick blinked. "That's the reason?" He winced at the way it came out. "Not that that's not a good reason. I just- I'm surprised. You guys always seemed like an eerily perfect match."

He looked away, smiling slightly, like he was physically looking at the past. "Things change, I guess. Over the summer we… started to disagree on a lot of things."

"Like?" Nick didn't mean to pry, but they were close after having been roommates for a year, and he just wanted to know how something like this happened.

"Like, Blaine is a little clingy. And he says I can get sort of closed-off. And we don't have all the same interests." Kurt sighed. "I don't know. At the time, it seemed like reason enough to break up."

Nick tilted his head. "You say that like you're rethinking it now."

Kurt blushed, shrugging again. "I'm- well, he was my first love. I miss him. And maybe I got scared this summer because we were spending all our time together, and it's just hard to let someone in so much, you know?" It seemed like Kurt had never gotten to get this out. Nick didn't mind listening. He knew where Kurt was coming from. "And when people get that close they want to know everything and I just can't talk about everything, it's hard. Because then you blame yourself if you get too deep and scare them off."

"You wouldn't have scared Blaine off." Nick said softly. "Love doesn't work like that. And you guys were in love."

Kurt looked at him helplessly. "It's not worth talking about now. I made my decision this summer." The way he faltered showed Nick everything he had to know. He was still in love. But he didn't press anymore.

He only nodded. "Well, it's never too late." He could tell by the look on Kurt's face that he already thought it was too late. And an idea started to form. "I have to use the bathroom. Text me, okay? You don't have to go through this alone." Kurt nodded, and Nick turned away, but then looked back. "Oh, and start coming to rehearsals again. We miss you."

Kurt cracked a smile. "I miss everyone, too."

"Then I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow?" He asked, not planning on leaving until Kurt said yes.

Luckily, Kurt caved quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Relieved, Nick waved goodbye, heading to the bathroom. He was going to get Kurt and Blaine back together, and he could already visualize the steps in his head. He texted Jeff to gather the Warblers minus Kurt and Blaine in the common room that night. He had a plan.

* * *

"Do I need to keep the minutes if this is an unofficial meeting?"

"Wes brought the gavel, so I would argue that this is an official meeting."

"But we don't have all the members here."

The gavel was put to good use by Jeff, effectively ending the conversation with a loud smack against the table. "Nick and I have gathered you all to discuss a very important issue about one of our own." Nick stood next to him at the front of the room, nodding his agreement. "We all know that Kurt and Blaine broke up. Clearly, it was a mistake in a moment of weakness." Jeff continued, uncapping a marker and turning to the dry-erase board behind him. "So that is why we must put into action a mission I've called Operation Klaine."

Jeff wrote the words at the top of the board, Nick rolling his eyes. "I ran into Kurt earlier and he seems just as crushed about the breakup as Blaine." He explained. "He seemed like he regretted it, but said it was too late to change things now."

The Warblers muttered amongst themselves, frowning at the news. They were all close, and didn't want to hear that a couple of their members were upset. "So what do we do?" Someone piped up.

"We have an intervention." Jeff grinned. "There's six simple steps."

"The first is that someone needs to offer up their house for a house party." Nick nodded. The Warblers discussed, and finally someone raised their hand.

"I'll do it." It was a senior Warbler, and Nick nodded, looking to Jeff to write it down. Jeff marked step one and drew a house with a stick figure next to it labelled 'Cameron'.

"Are pictures necessary?" Nick laughed, and Jeff smiled.

"They add effect."

"Fair enough." Nick shook his head, turning back to the group. "Okay, step two is to invite all the Warblers. I told Kurt to rejoin the Warblers when I saw him earlier, so he'll definitely come. And someone needs to be in charge of alcohol, because step three is getting them buzzed just enough that they're okay confessing their feelings."

Jeff drew a group of stick figures with music notes above their heads for Warblers, then a bottle of beer for step three. "I can bring drinks." Trent offered, to everyone's surprise.

"Okay." Nick loved how easily this was falling into place. Usually, he wouldn't meddle like this. But this was Kurt and Blaine. If they needed a little intervention to be happy, Nick would do it. "Alright, so they get a little tipsy. That's where Jeff and I come in." Jeff drew a tall stick figure, then a shorter one holding hands, hearts over their heads and eyes. Nick smiled as he shook his head. "That's a little bit of an exaggeration on the height difference, but okay."

"Is not." Jeff drew himself even taller.

"The bottle looks like a dick." Someone said, causing other Warblers to pitch in with the drawing's flaws.

"Why is the house round?"

"That shape music note doesn't exist."

"Jesus!" Jeff squared out the edges of the house and redrew the bottle. "Everyone's a critic!"

Nick laughed, squeezing Jeff's arm. "Okay, okay, they're beautiful. You're a true talent." He gestured to the board. "Okay, so back to what I was saying, step four, Jeff and I come in. We both remind them how in love they are with eachother with stories from their good old days."

"Step five, they reunite, totally in love again, and they have a kiss for the ages." Jeff smiled to himself, drawing a stick figure couple embracing that more closely resembled a pile of spaghetti.

The Warblers clapped, a freshman speaking out. "So what's the sixth step?"

"Making sure that they don't regret it when they're sober." Nick breathed out, wringing his hands. That was definitely going to be the hardest part. "But you can leave that to me."

After setting the date and time for Friday at eight, and a few final critiques of Jeff's drawings, the Warblers dispersed, leaving Nick and Jeff in the common room alone. "This will work, right?" Jeff looked to him, playing with the marker.

"It has to." He nodded, sitting on the couch. "I hope so."

Jeff sat next to him. "It feels like the Parent Trap."

He laughed, leaning into him. "And that ended well, right? So trust me."

"I trust you." Jeff took Nick's hand and uncapped his marker again, carefully drawing a line that wrapped around Nick's ring finger.

Nick blushed, pretending to admire it like it was a real ring. "Beautiful."

"Beautiful." Jeff agreed, but he was looking at Nick. They eventually had to part ways and go to their rooms to finish their homework, and Nick kept glancing to his doodled ring. Before he showered that night, he traced over it with a permanent marker, and drew a tiny 'J' on the inside knuckle. He fell asleep later thinking about the day he'd wear a real one.

* * *

Before Operation Klaine day, it was game day, as Dalton's soccer team had their first home game. Soccer was widely celebrated here, as was lacrosse, and the turnout was always good. Tonight was no different, as Nick made his way through the crowd to the bleachers with a few Warblers in tow. Blaine had tagged along, though Kurt had opted out, saying he wasn't much of a sports fan. While that was true, Nick could wager that it was more about Blaine being there than a distaste for soccer.

"What's his number again?" David asked, sitting with him in the stands.

"Seventeen." Nick scanned the field, spotting him easily. It was easier to look for his white-blonde hair than his number. The game hadn't started yet, and Jeff was talking to Max, who was also on the team.

To: Jeff 6:38 PM

You look cute.

He saw Jeff read the text, then look up with a smile, looking around until he spotted Nick, blowing him a kiss and doing a little dance. Nick rolled his eyes, sending him a couple hearts anyways before pocketing his phone and talking with his friends before the game started.

"The team we're against today is really good." Blaine shook his head. "It'll be lucky if we win."

Nick looked over the rest of the players. He hadn't attended a game before, but he knew their team had a fairly good reputation, and could recognize a few of the players that were known for being talented. "I don't know, I think we have a good chance."

"Is Jeff good?" Trent asked, and Nick nodded.

"I mean, he hasn't played in a while. But he was really into it in middle school."

"Why'd he stop?" David frowned, and Nick thought back to all Jeff had been through in middle school, how a single mother stopped having time and money to put into a sport for her son.

He shrugged instead. "No idea."

They let it drop, as the game was starting, and Nick kept a close eye on Jeff. Having not ever been to a school sporting event, he found it was actually pretty easy to follow, and to get caught up in the rowdy crowd. And Jeff _was_ good. Nick wasn't an expert, but he could see Jeff was one of the better players, and the coach kept him in play for a long time. Nick's heart swelled with pride everytime he got to call Jeff's name in support, cheering him and his teammates on.

Halftime came quickly, and Nick came down the bleachers, tossing Jeff a water bottle. "You're killing it."

Jeff grinned, wiping sweat from his forehead and gulping down some of the water. "You think so? I still feel a little rusty."

He shook his head. "I can't tell at all."

"Maybe I'm doing so well because my good luck charm is here." Jeff drew him closer, and Nick didn't care that he was sweaty, kissing him with a smile.

"Well, whatever is causing it, I'm a proud boyfriend."

Somebody's father walked by and cleared his throat loudly. Instinctively, Nick pulled away, feeling self conscious. Jeff wasn't having that, keeping him close. "Fuck what people think. I'm gonna kiss my boyfriend at my game."

He laughed a little. He'd forgotten that many of the parents of Dalton boys were similar to his own parents, and there were plenty of them around tonight. "We're always gonna have to deal with it, huh?"

Jeff tilted Nick's chin up. "Yeah, probably. But it doesn't affect me. Because I get to kiss the most gorgeous guy here. And that makes it all better." He teased softly.

Nick breathed in, looking back to him. "You make it better."

He smiled gently, kissing him again. "I love you." He murmured, quiet so only he heard. Nick kissed back in answer. "Now smile." Jeff splashed him with a little of the water from his bottle, laughing as Nick gasped. "We've still got another half to go."

Nick flipped him off, but was laughing too. "Win the game, and I might forgive you for that."

"And reward me for my hard work?" Jeff wiggled his eyebrows, Nick heading back to the bleachers with a shrug.

"We'll talk once you win."

Jeff finished his water and jogged out to the field with a new determination, texting Nick about a thousand peach emojis from the bench. Once the game was back in play, Nick forgot all about the rude father, again getting lost in the hype. He was here for Jeff. And he wasn't going to lose sight of that because some conservative old asshole made a passive-aggressive gesture. He cheered louder than any of his friends, and was on the edge of his seat the entire half. The scores were close, and the players looked tired, but Jeff caught his eye, winking at him.

In Jeff's classic dramatic fashion, he dribbled the ball to the goal with seconds remaining, punting it in just in time, the opposite team's goalie missing by barely a foot. The crowd erupted, and Nick yelled himself hoarse with the rest of the Warblers, Jeff immediately finding him in the crowd from the field and pointing at him with a face-splitting grin. Nick was going to him before he was even off the field, practically knocking him over as he ran into his arms and kissed him. Jeff was laughing against his mouth, spinning him around. Nick didn't even think twice about what anyone might say. "You did it!"

Jeff laughed, breathless and happy. "I told you, good luck charm!"

"No, no, it was all you." Nick smiled, pushing Jeff's sweaty hair off his forehead and kissing him again. Eventually, the other Warblers made it over, congratulating Jeff and handing him another water. Nick was too happy to let go of his hand for even a second. People continued to come up to Jeff to give him their praise, and Nick grew steadily more proud, admiring him as he talked to teammates and parents and his coach. He liked that everyone else could see Jeff how he saw him. Talented and strong and humble and _amazing_.

Finally, Jeff got away from his team, grabbing Nick's hand again. "Do I get my reward now? Max is going out with the team, the room will be empty."

Nick laughed. "You have earned it for sure. But wouldn't you rather go out with your teammates?"

Jeff looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Let me think. Go to a shitty restaurant with the guys I saw all night, or get VIP treatment from my boyfriend?"

Nick snorted, shaking his head. "Fair."

"I was thinking you wear my jersey and nothing else." Jeff suggested casually, and Nick looked to Jeff's sweaty jersey, half-sticking to him.

"Gross." He looked at him with a smile. "Fuck yeah."

Jeff laughed, pulling him to a jog back to the dorms, his teammates whistling behind them. Maybe not _everyone_ got to see Jeff how he saw him.

* * *

"Do you see them yet?" Jeff was bobbing his head to the music, looking around the house. Friday night couldn't have come fast enough. Since Kurt rejoining the Warblers, rehearsals were a little awkward, as he and Blaine tiptoed around eachother.

"No, they'll be here." Nick shook his head, taking a sip from his drink. It wasn't part of the plan for him to get drunk, so it was only water, and Jeff was having a juice box from Cameron's kitchen. Blaine arrived before Kurt, instantly being passed a drink, which he declined politely. Nick frowned. That was not part of the plan. He moved around the groups of people, greeting Blaine like he just noticed him. "Blaine, glad you made it." He smiled, offering him a drink.

Blaine declined it again. "Hey, I'm okay. I drove here, so." He smiled, shrugging. Fuck. Nick hadn't thought of that variable.

"Honestly, we'll all probably end up crashing here." Nick smiled easily. "So it wouldn't matter if you got a little tipsy."

Jeff came over then, taking Nick's hand. "Babe, why don't you have a drink?" Jeff gave him a look that translated to 'stop being pushy'. Nick breathed out, but complied, taking the cup he'd offered to Blaine and having a sip.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom." Blaine gave them a weird look, going to the bathroom and leaving Nick to sigh in frustration.

"The plan is already falling apart."

Jeff brought the drink up to Nick's lips again. "Chill out, beautiful. Everything will go fine, the night is young. But you need to unwind, yeah? It's a party."

Nick finished the drink in a few gulps, shaking his head. "A buzz will help me think."

"Love that logic." Jeff laughed, also acquiring a drink from someone and gulping it down. "Just keeping things light."

Nick nodded, and looked around again, in the middle recalculating his plan when he saw Kurt. "Oh, there he is, offer him a drink."

Jeff brought a solo cup to him, smiling. "You look as stunning as ever. Thirsty?"

Kurt laughed. "Unless it's water, I'm good. I drove here."

Nick put his head in his hands as Jeff gave him his juice box instead, coming back over to him. "No luck."

"What now?" He shook his head.

Jeff shrugged. "I mean, they don't _have_ to be drunk. Just comfortable. And they will be as the party goes on."

"You think so?" Nick bit his lip.

Jeff nodded, kissing him. "I know so. There's no way this night goes wrong."

Irony was a not-so-funny thing. After the first drink, Nick decided a second one would be fine. He was stressed and Jeff was right, it was a party. Jeff, not wanting to be left behind, also drank more. He wasn't really sure how they ended up here, but a few hours in they were both tipsy and stacking their collection of empty cups.

"Nick, wasn't there some sort of plan here?" Wes bent down to where Nick sat on the floor with Jeff, and Nick frowned.

"Plan… oh! Yeah." He laughed, pushing Jeff's shoulder. "Dude, the plan!"

"Duuuude, the plan!" Jeff repeated, eyes wide.

Wes pulled Nick to his feet. "Go tell Kurt the wonders of love and how he can get it back." He angled him in Kurt's direction and prodded him gently that way.

Nick made it over to where Kurt was leaning against the wall, looking at his phone. "Kurt." He said seriously, straightening his posture so as to appear sober.

Kurt looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Hey there, you doing okay?"

"You know, I'm so wonderful." Nick nodded, tilting his head. "Because- love."

"Love." Kurt repeated, nodding slowly.

"Yes!" He grinned. "I am a person who is in love. With a person. With a Jeff. You know him." He clarified before moving on. "Life is… so amazing. When you have a boyfriend. Because then you're not alone. And I was fuckin' alone before." Nick laughed, leaning against the wall as well and spotting Jeff, who was still concentrating on building his cup tower. "But now I'm not. 'Cause… he loves me too." He trailed off, studying his furrowed brows and his hair over his eyes. "Once Jeff and I went to a mattress store." The memory popped into his head randomly. "And we tested all the mattresses. And I just kept- I just kept laying back on the beds with him and imagining it was our own bed in some tiny apartment. And he kept moving closer, every bed we tried. And we weren't dating but I kept wanting to kiss him. 'Cause- God, he just drives me crazy, you know? Imagining your whole future, kiss-him-all-the-time crazy. And he smelled like coconut shampoo, I remember it. He had a blue shirt on. He looks so good in blue." Nick closed his eyes, leaning against Kurt. He'd forgotten where he was going with this. "Fuck, I'm fucking lucky. 'Cause I get to kiss him all the time and let him make me crazy and I make him crazy back and he tells me it's a good thing." He laughed hard, almost doubling over.

Kurt laughed too, keeping him steady. "Easy there."

He righted himself again, smiling at Kurt. He knew there was a plan, but he'd forgotten it. "I'm gonna marry him."

Kurt nodded, squeezing his shoulder with a smile. "I know you are." Kurt looked past him to someone, and Nick turned, seeing Blaine talking to Jeff. "I'll be right back." Kurt said after a moment, leaving Nick and going to where they'd both been looking, taking Blaine's hand and disappearing into another room with him. Jeff made eye contact with him, giving a lopsided thumbs-up and blowing a kiss.

Nick smiled, going over to him. "We did it."

Jeff leaned into him. "What did we do?"

He thought, turning his nose into Jeff's neck and inhaling. Coconut shampoo. "I dunno."

Jeff cheered, knocking over his cup stack. "We did it!"

Nick laughed, falling to the floor with him. "Yes!" Somehow they got back to their dorms that night, thanks to a sober Warbler. Jeff hadn't wanted to let Nick go, stubbornly holding a fistful of Nick's T-shirt and trying to hug him while the Warblers separated them, leading them to their rooms. "Please, David, please please please let me go back." Nick pouted, looking at Jeff over his shoulder.

David laughed, sitting Nick on the bed. "You're lucky Sebastian isn't here, I feel like drunk you would have some things to say to him."

"Oh, fuck him!" Nick remembered his roommate, rolling his eyes. "Fuuuuck him. He thinks he's so much better than me. He's- he's a bad dude, David." He warned him.

David patted Nick's head and guided him to lay back. "He is. How about you travel to dreamland now, does that sound fun?"

Nick laid back, rubbing his eyes. "Is Jeff there?"

He heard David laughing. "Probably."

That sounded good to Nick, so he closed his eyes, rolling onto his side. "Mmm, okay. Night."

"Goodnight, Nick." He heard the soft click of the door closing, and smiled to himself as he started drifting off, looking forward to seeing Jeff in dreamland.

* * *

"Morning, sunshine." Nick woke to Sebastian standing over him with his arms crossed. "Sick invite to whatever party you got trashed at last night."

Nick groaned, rolling over. "It was for Warblers only." He mumbled into his pillow, head pounding.

"What happened to once a Warbler always a Warbler bullshit?" Sebastian nudged his side, and Nick moved away.

"It doesn't apply to cheating scumbags."

Sebastian whistled, the noise piercing Nick's skull. "Yikes."

Nick pulled himself to a sitting position, holding his head. "How'd you even know there was a party last night!"

"I know everything, Duval." Sebastian tilted his head. "And it was on everyone's Snapchat stories, you and Jeff drunk off your asses professing your love for eachother." He rolled his eyes.

Nick frowned. "I don't even remember that." He grabbed his phone off the nightstand, opening Snapchat and looking at the stories of his friends. It was true, he was greeted by a video of a very drunk a Nick, leaning against the wall next to Kurt. He turned the volume up and blushed as he listened to himself ramble about an old story. The ending surprised him. "I'm gonna marry him." He'd stated confidently to Kurt, and Kurt had assured him he already knew that.

"Gross." Sebastian left to use the bathroom, and Nick skipped ahead in the Snapchat stories until he found one of Jeff, talking to Blaine in a similar fashion to how Nick had spoken to Kurt.

"I can't even remember the last time I was so so happy before I met Nick." Jeff was saying, or, slurring. "It's all about that. Happy. Being somebody's happy and they're yours. He makes me laugh even when he's not trying, and he makes me smile when I'm a mess, and…" Jeff's gaze travelled to somewhere out of the camera frame, and Nick assumed he was looking at him. His heart fluttered. "I gotta admit, we're trying to get you and Kurt back together. Because you should have that. You and Kurt still have a bunch of stories in this big book you just, like, abandoned. And you gotta pick it up again. Because if he makes you half as- no, a _quarter_ as happy as Nick makes me, that's it, dude. That's your guy. Nick's my guy." Jeff smiled widely, and Blaine nodded his agreement. "Nick's my forever guy. I'm gonna marry him." Nick didn't hear the rest of the video, caught up in his thoughts. Hangover forgotten, he smiled wide enough to hurt. He knew they were only juniors. They were still young. But he just knew that they were both right. They'd end up together. Like Jeff had mentioned, they had a book to write, and they were nowhere near done. There was no way he was abandoning his and Jeff's story.

Sebastian re-entered. "If you're gonna throw up, leave the room in time."

Nick looked up with a smile. "I feel great." He looked back down to the looping video, and then the now-faded sharpie ring on his left hand. "I feel absolutely great."

* * *

Monday came, and with that, a Warblers rehearsal. He hadn't seen Kurt or Blaine since the party, and they hadn't arrived at the rehearsal yet.

"I hope the plan worked." Someone said, and Trent laughed.

"The plan never happened. Nick and Jeff got shitfaced and then forgot what they were supposed to do."

Nick moved closer to Jeff on the couch. "It didn't really happen like that."

David shrugged. "It kind of did."

"Well, we'll try again." Jeff nodded. "I already have a new plan-"

The doors of the common room opened then, and Kurt and Blaine walked in. In only took about half of a second for everyone to realize they were holding hands, and burst into cheers. Nick held up Jeff's hand in victory. Both Kurt and Blaine blushed, laughing. "Hey, guys." Blaine said when the cheers died down, smile still wide.

"When did this happen?" Jeff pressed. "Why? How? Where?"

Kurt shook his head, sitting with Blaine. "Actually, it was you guys." He looked to Jeff and Nick. "At that party, you both rambled on about how in love you were, and it made me realize I'd had that feeling and let it go."

Blaine nodded, looking at Kurt like he'd never seen him before. If he was a cartoon, he'd have giant heart-eyes and a visible pounding heart in his chest. "And sure, we had a rough patch. But it doesn't mean we should give up. He makes me happy."

Nick bit his lip against a smile, turning to Jeff, who was looking at him like how Blaine was at Kurt. "So we did do it after all." To think that they were so in love they made other people want to be in love… that was all he could hope for right there.

Jeff grinned and high fived him, keeping their hands clasped afterwards. "We're amazing."

The Warblers settled down and rehearsals began, but Nick waited a bit to join, still holding hands with Jeff on the couch as everyone else started doing runs and steps. "I couldn't help but go on and on about how in love I was with you on Friday night." Nick teased softly, playing with Jeff's hand.

Jeff laughed. "Me neither. I saw someone's story with you on it. Your little speech was very cute."

Nick smiled, tilting his head. "So was yours. I'm glad I make you happy."

"The happiest." Jeff corrected, kissing his cheek.

"Happy enough to marry me someday." He laughed, biting his lip. They hadn't even been dating a full year. And of course, marriage was just an abstract idea for them right now. But Jeff brushed his thumb over Nick's sharpie ring that he'd drawn over and over each time it faded, and Nick felt like he was touching his heart.

"That's a promise."

Nick kissed him, shaking his head. "How'd I get so lucky?"

"The fates decided on us years ago." Jeff teased, but Nick believed it. He had always thought things like fate and destiny were bullshit. But how could they be, when somehow Jeff was his? When everything leading up to this had fallen into place, against their stacked odds with parents and exes and all the things they tried their best to leave in the past. There had to be some external force that pushed them to eachother. And Nick was grateful for it. He kissed him until the Warblers made them start rehearsing, but even then, he kept gravitating to Jeff as he always had, some invisible string tying them together, always.

* * *

Now that Kurt and Blaine were back together, Jeff and Nick hung out with them often, usually in Nick's room, since Sebastian was usually absent. They played cards and watched movies and prayed Sebastian didn't return. But he always did come back. And everyone usually left immediately. But tonight was different, because Jeff and Blaine were invested in the movie they were watching, and when the door opened, neither of them looked up. Nick and Kurt shared a quick look.

"Hey." Sebastian dropped his bag on his bed, looking to the TV screen. "What's on?"

No one answered at first, but Blaine, ever polite, cracked and glanced to him. "The Room."

"The worst movie ever made?" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Nick picked it."

"I picked it." Jeff spoke up, though he usually made a point to not talk to Sebastian when they were around eachother. "We're watching it because it's bad."

Sebastian nodded slowly, looking irritated that Jeff had defended Nick. "Hm. I've gotta study, so, take it somewhere else."

"There's only a little left." Blaine shook his head, though he looked to Nick to see if they should actually leave.

"We'll be done soon." Nick sighed, not looking to Sebastian.

He sat at his desk chair, reclining in it. "I'll watch with you guys, then." Jeff moved closer to Nick, resting his hand on Nick's leg and keeping his eyes trained on the movie. For a few minutes, they were all able to co-exist and watch the movie. But it didn't take long for the silence to be broken. "Jeff, when's our next game?"

Jeff didn't look at him. "Tuesday."

Sebastian got a kick out of Jeff's coldness, and he joined them on the floor. "We should get out and practice. You guys can come. We can play a pickup game."

Jeff brightened for a second, but quickly changed his demeanor back to stony, moving a little closer to Nick. "We don't need the practice."

Nick regarded Sebastian carefully. God, how he would love to punt a soccer ball into his face. His competitive side flared. "What are the teams?"

Sebastian grinned, pleased he'd gotten them engaged. "How about me and Jeff against you guys? Experts against rookies, since you have us outnumbered, it'll be fair."

"I'm not playing pickup soccer." Kurt arched an eyebrow, and Sebastian just shrugged.

"Fine. Jeff and Nick against me and Blaine. Kurt can keep score or paint his nails on the bleachers or something."

Kurt gave him an icy look, and Nick grew more irritated. "Okay. Let's go."

"Really?" Jeff asked, surprised. "We don't- we can just finish the movie-"

"No, let's play." Nick stood, meeting Sebastian's gaze evenly. It wasn't that he saw Sebastian as competition. But he'd take any opportunity to watch him lose. Especially if Nick was the one winning.

The group moved outside to the quad, setting up makeshift goalposts with their backpacks and Jeff retrieving a ball from his closet. "Do you guys know how to play?" Sebastian dribbled the ball from foot to foot as he spoke, and Nick crossed his arms.

"Yeah."

Blaine, who seemed reluctant to be involved in the game at all, nodded. "Five years of experience in elementary school." He tried to lighten the mood, but everyone was on edge.

"First to five points wins?" Jeff suggested, stealing the ball from Sebastian and bringing it to the middle of their impromptu field.

"Sounds good." Sebastian looked to Kurt, who was leaning against a tree and staring daggers at him. "Got that, Hummel?"

"Loud and clear." Kurt whistled sharply to signify the start of the game, catching Sebastian off guard. Jeff was able to gain possession easily, though he didn't play hard, dribbling to the goal and neatly sidestepping Blaine, who didn't get to the goal in time to stop him. "Point." Kurt said dryly.

Sebastian cracked his knuckles and smiled. "Wow, just as skilled with his feet as he is with his hands."

Jeff blushed, but smiled back coolly. "Wish I could say the same about you." He dropped the ball back at midfield, and Sebastian seemed unfazed. Kurt whistled the start of the play again, and this time there was a bit of a struggle for the ball, but Sebastian ended up scoring the point, not without brushing past Nick hard enough to make him stumble.

He clenched his hands at his sides. The game carried on like that. Sebastian and Jeff were the ones mainly in control of the ball, occasionally Nick and Blaine making assists. The score climbed to 4-4, and like usual, the next play started with Sebastian and Jeff fighting for the ball. But this time, Sebastian was more aggressive when Jeff got away with it, tripping Jeff not-so-subtly. But when Jeff fell, he tripped up Sebastian as well, who fell on top of him in the grass.

"Penalty!" Jeff managed, the wind having been knocked out of him. Sebastian laughed, not moving.

"No way! It was an accident." He put his hand on Jeff's chest, who was coughing and trying to sit up.

"Bas, get off."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You're so touchy now." Nick watched his hand move lower on Jeff's chest and felt his blood boil, jogging over to where they were.

"Hey, get off." Nick tried to resist the urge to punch him. His resolve was wearing thin.

Sebastian laughed. "You guys are seriously so sensitive! It's not like we haven't been in this position before. But you were wearing a lot less and a lot more restrained." He teased like this was all some joke. Jeff's face burned as he again tried to get up, but was still coughing from his fall. "I'm sure your sex life is a lot more vanilla now-"

Nick felt his resistance snap, and he pulled Sebastian off Jeff by his shirt, drawing back and punching him hard enough to make Sebastian's head turn. He barely registered the sound of the gasps, and how his knuckles instantly started to bleed. "Oh my God-" He heard Kurt say, but he didn't have time to shake out of his haze, because Sebastian had turned back to him, eyes flashing with anger. He saw Sebastian raise his fist, and Nick braced himself for a punch, but it never came. Blaine had grabbed his arm and pinned it behind him.

"Enough."

Kurt and Jeff wore mirroring looks of shock. Nick still felt like he was watching this from someone else's point of view. "Fuck you." Sebastian pulled away from Blaine, wiping blood from his nose. Nick thought he might try to fight again, but he just stalked back towards the school, pressing his hand to his face.

"Oh my God." Kurt repeated, but when Nick looked to him, he was smiling. "Nick! You just punched him!"

He blinked, looking at his bloodied hand and nodding slowly. "I- yeah." He looked to Jeff, helping him to his feet. Suddenly, he felt a wave of anxiety. He should've never punched someone in front of Jeff. Not after what he'd been through. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, he just wouldn't get off you and he was saying all this awful stuff and I got so mad and next thing I know I was just grabbing him-" He rambled, but was cut off when Jeff pulled him in for a kiss, holding his hair and kissing him deeply.

"That was so fucking hot."

Nick widened his eyes, laughing breathlessly as they broke apart. "Really?"

Jeff still held him close, shaking his head. "You defending my honor and finally punching the douchebag that's had it coming since he transferred here? Fuck, that's a fantasy."

Kurt laughed, slinging his arm around Blaine. "I have to say, Blaine stopping him from punching back takes the cake for me."

Blaine blushed, laughing. "What can I say?" He joked.

Jeff took Nick's injured hand and studied it. "Let's get you cleaned up, Rocky."

Nick smiled, biting his lip. "Sure." The pair walked back to the school, Kurt and Blaine a bit behind. "I- I want you to know that I won't ever do something like that again. I'm not a violent person."

Jeff looked at him, catching on. "You socked him because he was making me uncomfortable. You have never been the one to make me uncomfortable. I know you don't just throw punches around." He laughed softly. "Next time, though, if there is a next time, tell me so I can catch it on video. You should've seen the look on his face. He looked like he was gonna pass out. He's never gonna give you shit about anything ever again, now that he knows you can pack a punch like that."

He laughed, leaning into Jeff as they walked back. "Good. As soon as these knuckles heal, he's back in the danger zone." He tickled Jeff's side with a grin, Jeff laughing and kissing his cheek.

"You're my hero."

Nick smiled, wrapping his arm around him. "You're mine."

Jeff tapped Nick's penned ring. "Is that a promise?"

Nick nodded, looking at him. He saw so much love there. He knew Jeff would do anything for him just the same as he knew he would do anything for Jeff. He squeezed his hand despite the sting in his knuckles and kissed his cheek. "It's a promise."

* * *

 **He had it coming, I was waiting 'til Nick could finally show him what he's up against. Upperclassman Nick isn't messing around! Let me know you like by following and favoriting, and reeeevieeewwwwww (:**


	16. Chapter 16

**Another update for y'all! Not much to say here, but I have a few things to say at the end, so read the end notes for that (: Enjoy!**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

Sebastian was distant for a while after Nick punched him. He didn't make any cracks at Nick, didn't talk to Jeff when he happened to be in the room when Sebastian was. At first, Nick was grateful. But then he started to get paranoid. "What if he's being quiet because he's plotting? What if I'm gonna wake up one day with my hand in warm water, or Sharpie on my face?"

Jeff, who was kissing his neck, lifted his head. "Babe, he thinks you're gonna knock him out if he talks to you, that's why he's being quiet. Now at least pretend you're turned on." He teased, and Nick sighed.

"Sorry. I'm just overthinking."

Jeff kissed his forehead instead, adjusting so he could lay beside him, though his legs were still tangled with Nick's, and his arm draped over his chest. "There's nothing to worry about. He knows his place now, he's not going to bother you."

Nick shrugged, turning his head so his nose brushed Jeff's. "Still. He could decide he wants revenge."

"Then I'll kick his ass." Jeff smiled, leaning in close enough to flutter his eyelashes over Nick's cheek. He shivered.

"I hate that."

Jeff laughed. "It's a butterfly kiss!"

"It feels like a spider legs." Nick protested, but laughed, leaning in to do the same to Jeff.

"I like it, my mom and I used to do that." He smiled, kissing him for real this time. "Can I sleep over tonight?"

"Of course." Nick pulled the blanket around them.

"It's too hot for a blanket." Jeff kicked it off, Nick groaning.

"It's almost October."

Jeff tugged at Nick's shirt. "And it's still hot."

Nick took his shirt off, Jeff following suit. It was warm out still. And he had the added bonus of shirtless Jeff. "Fine. I'll allow it."

Jeff laughed, pulling Nick's knee over him. "Thank you."

The door opened abruptly, and Sebastian came in, Nick and Jeff quickly separating. "I don't care if you fuck." Sebastian slurred, shedding his blazer and dropping it on the floor. That was unlike him, he usually was really neat.

Nick glanced to Jeff. "We weren't going to."

Sebastian gave a wobbly thumbs up. "Cool."

They were still parted, Jeff propping up on his elbows. "You okay?"

Sebastian nodded slowly, then held his head like the motion hurt him. "I'm awesome. Are you awesome?" With that, he covered his mouth, and Jeff was up in a flash, taking Sebastian's arm and pulling him out of the room. Nick sat up, shaking his head.

After a few minutes, the pair came back, Jeff dragging the hall trash bin behind him and leaving it next to Sebastian's bed. "How much did you drink?" Jeff asked, sitting Sebastian down on the bed.

"Not even a lot!" He confided, but then laughed to himself. "Like, a medium lot."

Nick crossed his arms. "Jeff, can you bring him to the common room?"

Jeff frowned. "He's sick. We need to make sure he's okay." Nick cursed Jeff for being a good person and leaned back against the headboard.

Sebastian leaned over the bin and threw up again, Jeff sitting on his bed and waiting for him to be done, handing him a water from the nightstand. A tiny part of Nick felt jealous. Why did Jeff give a fuck if Sebastian was throwing up? Why was he bothering to take care of him? Sebastian was never good to Jeff when _he_ was drunk. "Want me to be shirtless too? Is this a threesome?" Sebastian grinned after he drank some of the water, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

"No." He made him drink more. "I just want to make sure you don't choke and die."

"I thought that's what you guys wanted."

"It is." Nick said, at the same time Jeff said "It isn't". They looked at eachother, Jeff giving Nick a 'be nice' look, which Nick just sighed in response to.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian said, and for a moment, Nick thought he might look sincere. But he dismissed the thought quickly. Sebastian was a tool, he wasn't capable of apologizing.

Jeff shook his head a little. "Just lay down, okay?"

"I'm really sorry." Sebastian persisted. "I really am. I can be a bad person sometimes."

Nick sat up more. "You _are_ a bad person."

Sebastian winced. "Well I don't want to be. I don't want you guys to hate me. I don't want anyone to hate me. Do you hate me?" He looked to Jeff.

Jeff blinked, hesitating. He looked away when he answered. "No."

Nick breathed out. "I, personally, hate you."

"I deserve it." Sebastian nodded for too long of a time, eyes going out of focus for a second. "I'll try to be better. I'll be better. I can be better."

Jeff pushed his shoulder gently so he'd lie back. "Okay."

"I'm sorry, Jeff." Sebastian looked at him intensely. "I'm sorry."

Jeff nodded a little, shutting off the light and returning to bed with Nick, laying beside him. "Don't accept that apology." Nick muttered, and Jeff closed his eyes.

"He doesn't even know what he's sorry for."

But as Jeff and Sebastian dozed off, Nick knew that Jeff _had_ accepted the apology, even without saying it. He wanted to see good in people all the time, even when there wasn't any. He rubbed his eyes, pulling Jeff closer and praying he didn't ever make the same mistakes again.

* * *

When they woke, it was to the sound of Sebastian throwing up in the bin. Nick groaned, covering his head with his pillow. It smelled awful. "Go to the bathroom."

"Fuck off." Sebastian muttered, voice hoarse.

Jeff rubbed Nick's side soothingly. "At least get a new trashbag for the bin."

Sebastian grumbled and got to his feet, leaving with the trash. Nick sighed, moving the pillow from his face. "We should've made him sleep in the hall."

Jeff laughed a little. "Next time." He sat up and stretched, Nick letting his eyes travel down Jeff's back. He had a lean enough build that Nick could see the bumps of his spine, and faded stretch marks from his childhood growth spurt that made him taller than Nick. He reached out and ran his fingers over the lines. Jeff looked over his shoulder at him. "I love your hands."

Nick snorted. "Weird."

Jeff laughed, taking his hands. "You're weird."

"You're weird." Nick pulled his hands back and tickled his sides, Jeff laughing and trying to move away, but the bed was too small.

"You know I'm ticklish!" Jeff protested, trying to protect his sides as he shook with laughter. Nick grinned, grabbing him in a bear hug instead, kissing all over his face. Jeff immediately relaxed, leaning into him. "I thought you might be mad at me."

Nick raised his eyebrows, not following. "For?"

Jeff shrugged. "For helping Sebastian."

Nick brushed his fingers over Jeff's hip. "I'm not mad. You're just… you're a better person than me. I'll never forgive him." He said honestly.

"I don't forgive him." Jeff said softly, and Nick could tell he was going to say more, so he waited, drawing hearts with his finger on his hip. "I don't know. He needed someone. I don't want to stand idle when someone needs help. Even if he totally fucked me over." He laughed a little, sadly. "I guess that makes me weak, but."

"No." Nick frowned. "No, it doesn't. It means you have a big heart." As frustrated as he was that Jeff helped Sebastian at all, that was the person he'd fallen in love with. Jeff was kind and loving and had always, always been there for him. People like that were few and far between.

Jeff kissed him. "Lots of room for loving Nick Duval."

He smiled, kissing back. "Lucky me."

Sebastian returned looking slightly less pale, carrying a bottle of orange juice. "I'm not going to throw up anymore." He promised, sitting on his bed and rubbing his temples.

No one mentioned Sebastian's apology from the night before. If he meant it, he'd say it sober. "Let's go to my room." Jeff suggested quietly, and Nick nodded, finding their shirts and pulling his on, Jeff doing the same.

Sebastian watched them, playing with the cap to his drink. "Thanks. For last night."

Jeff shrugged, getting up. "I didn't want Nick to have to deal with it alone." Nick said nothing, he hadn't done anything to help, and wouldn't have.

"Well, thanks." Sebastian repeated, nodding. "Are you- I was thinking maybe we could talk sometime."

Silence fell over the room. Nick had half a mind to punch him again. "I- we don't need to talk." Jeff said, looking uncomfortable.

"We do." Sebastian swallowed. "I… I'm sorry. For everything that I did. And I think we should talk about it."

Nick didn't say anything still, it was Jeff's choice to make. Jeff looked to Nick like it was his though. "Okay." He finally said. "Just for a little while."

"Does tonight work?" Sebastian asked, and Jeff nodded, then left without saying goodbye. Nick hung back a second, turning to Sebastian.

"I hope you have a better apology tonight than last night's half-assed one." Nick muttered. "You really, really hurt him, and you know he didn't deserve it. If he comes back and gives me even the slightest idea you said something tonight to upset him…" He trailed off, shaking his head. He didn't even know what he'd do.

"I want to fix this." Sebastian murmured back, looking away with an expression Nick had never seen on him before. Guilt.

"You can't fix it." Nick snapped. "You can't go back and change that you broke his trust in more ways than I can count."

Sebastian blushed. "I know. But it can't hurt to try to put this to rest."

Nick shook his head, leaving in the same way Jeff did. Jeff was waiting in the hall, head tilted back against the wall and his eyes closed. "We should go on a walk." Jeff nodded, taking Nick's hand automatically. He looked tired. "You don't have to go tonight. There's no obligation to have to talk about anything with him."

"I know." Jeff sighed. "But maybe it could be good. Like closure."

Nick squeezed his hand. "If he does anything-"

"You'll defend my honor." Jeff cracked a smile. "I know."

He laughed softly, going outside with him. The weather was still nice, and Dalton's walkways were lined with flowers that were still doing well. Jeff picked one and put it behind Nick's ear. "You're too nice to me." Nick laughed, leaning into him.

Jeff smiled. "You're right. I used to mess with you more. You made me all soft."

Nick rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't dare mess with me, you're too in love."

His boyfriend wiggled his eyebrows. "Wanna bet?"

He tilted his head, taking the bait. "What are you saying?"

"Prank war." Jeff grinned. "We can get the Warblers involved."

Nick considered it. Jeff was better at this sort of thing than Nick. But he also knew exactly which pranks would make Jeff tick. "Fine. I'm down."

Jeff clapped, his bad mood fading. "This is gonna be legendary. I already have plans."

He laughed. "I don't know what I'm getting myself into."

"No sir, you do not." Jeff kissed him. "We can keep it up two weeks starting tomorrow, whoever gets the most successful pranks in wins."

"What will I win?" Nick crossed his arms.

"I don't know why you're implying you'll win." Jeff teased. "Hm. How about, the winner gets to pick all the movies for Netflix dates for a month."

"We need higher stakes than that." Nick scoffed.

"I knew I was dating you for a reason." He grinned. "Okay. Winner gets to pick all the movies, plus our Halloween costumes."

"What are the costumes you have in mind?" Nick questioned.

"Rocky and Frank N. Furter." Jeff smiled widely. "I'd love to see you in some fishnets and a corset."

Nick groaned. "Those stakes are _too_ high."

"Hm, not as confident anymore, sweetheart?" Jeff smiled, and Nick shook his head.

"Oh, I'm confident."

Jeff held out his hand. "Then let's seal the deal."

Nick took his hand and shook it, keeping his gaze. "You're on, Sterling."

* * *

That night, Nick had the room to himself. Sebastian and Jeff were out, and Nick was trying not to let anxiety eat away at him. What if Sebastian was saying bad things? What if Jeff was upset? What if Sebastian was winning him back over? He should've insisted on going with them. He should be there for Jeff. When his phone rang, Nick practically dove for it, answering on the second ring. "Hello?" He said breathlessly.

"Hi." Jeff said. "Come out to the bleachers?"

Nick nodded, though Jeff couldn't see him, and quickly headed out. He passed Sebastian in the hall. "How did it go?" He tested, and Sebastian shrugged.

"It went well. I think. He had me drop him off at the field."

"Was he upset?" Nick tried, and Sebastian shook his head.

"Seemed fine to me. I'm not that bad of a person."

Nick scoffed. "Yeah, you're worse." He left him, walking to the field and finding Jeff in their usual spot on the stands. He was playing with something, and when he got closer, he could tell it was a twenty dollar bill. "Paying me to hang out with you?"

Jeff laughed softly, looking up at him. "You're worth a lot more."

Nick sat beside him. "Why do you have that?"

He shrugged. "I stole it from Sebastian's wallet."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"He left it on the table when he went to the bathroom. I could really use a twenty." He said simply.

Nick snorted, pulling Jeff into his side and kissing his temple. "Well, he had that coming. You should've slashed his tires instead."

Jeff rested his head on Nick's shoulder and folded the bill into different shapes. "We talked things out." Nick nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. "He said he was really sorry about cheating. And about the shit he did when he was drunk. Or I was drunk."

Nick played with Jeff's hair. "And what did you say?"

He was quiet for a while. "I told him I forgave him. But not for him, for me. So I can move on from all of it."

He traced the outside seam of Jeff's jeans. "So it was good closure? I don't have to go for round two in the ring?"

Jeff laughed, miming throwing a punch. "No, you can go back to your usual day job of being the Prince of Ohio."

"You're never letting that nickname die, are you?" Nick sighed, smiling as Jeff shook his head.

"Absolutely not." He leaned back on his elbows and looked at the sky, letting out a breath of relief. Jeff was okay. Jeff was healing. He felt Jeff nip his ear. "Ever thought about sex outside?"

Nick laughed, pushing him. "I thought we were having a heartfelt moment!"

Jeff grinned, pushing back. "I can make it romantic!"

Nick got up, putting up his fists like a boxer. "You're asking for a fight, Sterling." He teased.

"You'll have to catch me first!" Jeff yelled, taking off down the bleachers, Nick quick to follow. They bounded down the steps, Jeff leaping onto the field and shouting just to shout. Nick chased him, finally grabbing him by his waist and spinning him around, Jeff's loud laugh filling the whole sky.

"Got you."

Jeff laughed, pulling him down into the grass with him. "You've always had me."

Nick smiled, leaning in for a kiss. "Good."

They kissed until they forgot where they were, falling asleep on the field, bodies intertwined under the stars.

* * *

In a prank war, there's no time to waste. After all, "war" was right in the title. It was time to play dirty. Nick considered his plans. His best in was with Max, he'd definitely help him set traps in Jeff's side of the room. Early the next day, he knocked on Jeff's door. Luckily, Max answered it. "Jeff is down at breakfast." He yawned, and Nick shook his head.

"I'm here to see you, actually. I need your help."

Max raised his eyebrows, stepping aside to let him in. "What do you need?"

"Jeff and I are having a prank war." He prefaced, pulling a vial of glitter out of his pocket as he spoke. "Basically, I need you to help me get in and out of the room when Jeff's not here." He found Jeff's shower caddy and opened his bottle of shampoo, pouring the glitter in and shaking it well.

Max grinned. "Sick. I can do that."

"You're the best." Nick smiled, placing it carefully back in Jeff's caddy. "Thank you. I really appreciate-"

"What do we have here?" Jeff had entered quickly. "What are you thanking him for?"

They both smiled innocently. "I'm going to tutor Nick in math." Max lied smoothly, and Nick nodded.

"Yeah, I'm slipping on the current lesson."

Jeff scoffed. "I'm in your math class dude, you have an A." He walked around Nick in a slow circle. "It seems you're trying to pull a fast one on me, Nicky." He also regarded Max with a suspicious gaze. "But my own roommate wouldn't conspire against me, would he?"

Max held a hand up like he was swearing on the bible. "Never."

Jeff looked back to Nick, looking him up and down. "I'll let you go with no further questioning. Only because you're cute."

Nick winked, ruffling his hair. "You could use a shower." He left before Jeff asked him about it and his expression would give it away. He knew Jeff would be too busy singing and dancing in the shower to realize his glittery shampoo.

And sure enough, later that day at their Sunday Warblers rehearsal, Jeff came in with hair sparkling like Edward Cullen. "I would just like the record to state I'm doing this on purpose, because it's a new trend you guys wouldn't understand." Jeff said after their classmates stared, and Nick laughed.

"Oh no, he's doing this because he doesn't check the contents of his shampoo before he uses it." Nick snapped a picture. "Point Nick."

The Warblers thought it was hilarious, and Jeff spent the rehearsal trying to shake the glitter out like a wet dog. "This is never coming out." Jeff groaned as rehearsal ended and he scratched his head, glitter falling to the carpet.

"Me in my freshman year." Kurt said as he passed, Blaine laughing and shaking his head as he left with him.

"If either of you need help, you know where to find me." Blaine smiled, and they both nodded. Blaine seemed too nice to pull off a prank.

Jeff turned back to Nick. "Alright, so you've got one point. But I wouldn't be surprised if I got a point before the day is out."

"Is that a threat?" Nick tilted his head.

Jeff winked. "Totally."

Nick shook his head, smiling. "I'm gonna win this. I'm not scared."

Jeff flipped his hair, glitter falling to the floor. "You should be." He strutted out, leaving Nick laughing.

* * *

They carried on for the duration of the contest like this, taunting eachother more than actually doing the pranking. Jeff tied all of Nick's uniform ties to the flagpole and roped them up. Nick flipped everything in Jeff's room upside down. Jeff ordered a giant blanket with Bob Saget's face in large-scale printed on it and made Nick's bed with it. But Nick's best prank came to him on one of their movie nights.

"This truly is an American classic." Jeff was cuddled into Nick's side, laptop balanced on their laps as they watched _10 Things I Hate About You_.

"You say that everytime you make us watch this." Nick rolled his eyes, but he secretly loved how invested Jeff was in the movie. It was cute, seeing him so happy when the characters were happy. Jeff connected to people so easily like that.

Jeff laughed. "Because it never stops being true."

"Fair." He readjusted so he could rub Jeff's shoulders, because Jeff loved it and Nick loved the reaction. Instantly, he was putty in Nick's hands, lolling his head back on his shoulder.

"Just because I'm relaxed doesn't mean you can prank me. I'm still on guard 24/7." Jeff murmured, but his body language said otherwise, as he slumped into him.

"Sure." Nick laughed softly. It only took a few minutes for him to fall asleep, snoring softly. Nick kept rubbing his shoulders as he watched the movie, and by now it had gotten to the scene where Heath Ledger serenaded her at the soccer practice. The marching band played and his character ran up and down the bleachers, and Nick had an idea. He shut the laptop quietly, and texted Blaine.

To: Blaine 9:49 PM

Remember how you offered to help with a prank? I could really use you at Jeff's game Friday night.

He smiled to himself and shut off his phone, careful not to wake Jeff as he pulled the covers over them. This would not only be a prank, but the performance of a lifetime.

* * *

Jeff's Friday night soccer games always drew a big crowd when they were home games, most of the school would attend and be as rowdy as prep school boys could get. Nick had to say, he was nervous. He'd performed in front of bigger audiences than this at competitions, but never audiences comprised of so many people he knew. The Warblers were all around, watching the game and waiting for halftime. Nick and Blaine had recruited them, and with just one late night rehearsal Jeff didn't know about, they were able to arrange Frankie Valli's " _Can't Take My Eyes Off You_ ", just like in the movie.

"You ready?" Thad asked him as the first half of the game drew to a close. Nick smiled.

"Let's do this."

Thad gave him a slap on the shoulder and jogged to the table with the switchboards for sound by the field, conversing with the student sitting at the desk. Nick pushed through the crowd to the top of the bleachers, pulling the microphone out that he'd stashed in his pocket. Just as halftime began, Thad gave him the thumbs-up, letting him know his mic and song were hooked to the speakers. The players were still milling around the field, and everyone turned as Nick sang the first line.

"You're just too good to be true. I can't take my eyes off you." He began, everyone quickly falling silent as they tried to figure out what was going on. Jeff looked up from the field with a priceless shocked expression. "You'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much…" He continued, people making a path for him to walk down the bleachers. "At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you." He pointed to Jeff, who was smiling like an idiot and covering his eyes. There was a beat of pause, and then a whistle was blown, the Warblers emerging from the sidelines singing the backup harmonies like an instrumental break.

People started to clap to the beat, and Nick half-ran to centerfield. "I love you baby, and if it's quite alright I need you baby, to warm the lonely nights, I love you baby, trust in me when I say…" He blew him a kiss before falling into choreographed steps with the Warblers. "Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray, oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay and let me love you baby, let me love you!" They all sang in harmony, Jeff laughing and blushing hard as everyone sang along, the crowd joining in. He walked forward, ahead of the Warblers, as they faded out.

"Let me love you, baby, let me love you…" He sang the last part into his mic, reaching Jeff by the end, who pulled him in for a kiss without missing a beat. Their audience cheered, and he could hear people applauding and stomping the stands. They were both smiling so wide they had to break the kiss, just resting their foreheads together.

"That does not count as a prank. I loved that too much." Jeff smiled, shaking his head.

Nick gasped in protest, but his smile wouldn't leave. "That counted!"

As the Warblers crowded around them to recount what had just happened, Jeff and Nick stayed wrapped up in eachother, only parting so Jeff could finish the game, but leaving together right after. They walked hand-in-hand away from the noise, going to Jeff's room and thanking God his roommate was gone for the night. They didn't do anything, though. Jeff showered and joined him in bed, where Nick had already stolen and dressed in Jeff's hoodie. They got as close as possible, just trading lazy kisses and touches. "So, this is the end of the prank war. Who won?" Jeff said as they settled back for sleep.

Nick smiled, closing his eyes. "With what just happened, I have to say me."

Jeff sighed dramatically. "I _guess_."

"Movie nights will be so much better now that I'll get to pick all the movies." Nick grinned, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

"You'll regret that when I stop giving you blowjobs during the movies."

Nick laughed, leaning into him. "You haven't heard my idea for our Halloween costumes yet. Kurt and Blaine."

Jeff grinned. "Nevermind, you can get all the head you want, you're a genius. I call being Kurt."

"Of course." Nick laughed, leaning in to kiss him. "Now, about 'all the head I want'-" His phone rang, effectively cutting him off, and he groaned as he reached for it. Jeff was already pulling at the drawstring on Nick's sweatpants. Nick swatted him away. "Hello?"

"Nick, your father's been in a car accident."

It took him a second to realize it was his mother. "W-what?"

"You'll need to get to Westerville Hospital as soon as possible." She said, and though her words were business-as-usual, her tone was off. Worried. Upset.

His perfect night was rapidly being torn to shreds. "Alright." He finally said, hanging up clumsily. He didn't think to ask how bad it was. What if he was really hurt? What if he was going to die?

"Who was that?" Jeff asked, tilting his head.

He swallowed, staring at his phone. "My mom." He paused. "My dad was in a car accident."

Jeff was silent, then laughed a little, a nervous, breathless sound. "No more pranks, Nick. You already won."

Nick looked at him, shaking his head slow. "It's not a prank."

Jeff breathed in, getting off the bed. "Kurt will drive us. Hold on." He left the room in a hurry. Nick felt numb. What was he supposed to feel right now? Kurt came in with Blaine in tow, they were rarely apart, and Jeff pulled Nick to his feet. "Westerville Hospital?"

Nick nodded, barely registering his hand was in Jeff's. Kurt led the way to his car in the parking lot, and Jeff and Nick slid into the back, Jeff never letting go of his hand. "It will be okay, Nick, if the accident was really bad your mother would have said so." Blaine said softly from the passenger seat in that comforting voice he knew so well.

Nick nodded, but he didn't believe him. His mother wouldn't have told him. That's not how she was. She'd said get there as soon as possible. For her, that translated to something bad happening. "We'll wait the whole time with you." Kurt spoke for all of them, and didn't need to ask if they all agreed. Of course they'd wait with Nick.

A glance to Jeff told him Jeff was more nervous than he was, tapping his fingers against his knee anxiously. He knew Jeff hated hospitals, and that whenever Nick was upset, Jeff was unsettled. "How much longer 'til we're there?" Jeff asked, still tapping his fingers.

"Five minutes." Kurt answered, looking in the rearview mirror and giving Jeff a look that Nick didn't miss. Jeff saw it and stilled his fingers, knowing Kurt was trying to tell him to collect himself for Nick. But Jeff wore his emotions all over his face, and Nick knew him too well.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, and when they got there, they piled out. Nick was grateful for Jeff's hoodie, as it had gotten cooler outside. And the smell was comforting. Jeff was right there with him. They got inside, and Nick went to the desk. "My father is checked in here. Richard Duval. He was in a car accident." He realized he didn't recognize his own voice speaking to the woman at the desk. If sounded formal. Void of emotion.

The woman searched the database. "Room 324. Name please?"

"Nicholas Duval." The monotone voice came again. He sounded like his father. He had to hold the edge of the desk to stay upright. It felt like he saw his entire future flash before his eyes. Pushing away everyone he loved. Living in a house way too big in a rich Ohio town. Working in business and quietly returning to the closet so he could have a poster family. It felt like someone had flipped a switch on his emotions.

"You can go up." She handed him a pass, and Jeff tried to move with him. "Family only." She shook her head, and Jeff squeezed Nick's hand.

"He needs me with him. Please."

Before the nurse could say anything, Nick spoke. "I'm fine, Jeff." He let go of his hand. Jeff followed him as far as the doors.

"We'll wait here, okay? As long as it takes." Jeff searched his face. But Nick wasn't like Jeff. He hid his emotions easily. He was more like his parents than he'd thought.

"Thank you." He said, turning away. He didn't want to feel anything right now, and looking in Jeff's eyes made him too vulnerable. With a deep breath, he pushed through the doors.

* * *

 **Okay, I'm the worst person ever for leaving you guys on this cliffhanger, but I had to! Quick announcement, I will not be updating this story for a few weeks. I'm not sure if anyone has heard of this, but there's a writing challenge on Tumblr happening this month, where each day a word is given, and the goal is to write a short scene/story using the word! It's meant for Klaine, but of course I'm using it for these two dorks. So, I'm taking a break from this story to write a series of little stories about Niff! When I finish the challenge, I'll return to this (: I already have a collection of short Niff stories up on this account, so you guys can check those out! And if you guys want me to post a separate collection for the challenge month on here, leave a review to let me know! Or leave a review to let me know your thoughts on this chapter (:**

 **I referenced the song "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" by Frankie Valli in this chapter, and if you don't know the scene Nick is imitating, watch it!**

 **See you guys soon!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A late Christmas present: this long overdue update. I hope you guys are still sticking around, this story has ways to go (: I did write a series of one-shots about Niff for a challenge, that will probably be posted soon, though they are unrelated to this story. Anyways, sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy.**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

Three cracked ribs. Severe concussion. Left arm broken. Still unconscious.

"We have high hopes that he'll wake soon." The doctor had said. Nick sat by the bedside and stared at him. He looked a lot less intimidating like this, body limp on the bed, dressed in a hospital gown instead of his usual expensive clothes. Nick didn't leave the room for hours. His mother came and went. So did Michael. Nick just sat there, watching the heart monitor and counting the beeps just to pass the time. He had gotten texts from Jeff and the rest of the Warblers that had found out, but he couldn't reply right now.

When he looked to the clock, it was three AM. He slowly got out of his chair, his legs feeling like they were creaking as he stood. He walked out of the room like a zombie, down the deserted hallway. It was eerie, the fluorescent lights on, the wing empty aside from a few idling night shift nurses. He came out into the waiting room, where Kurt was asleep on Blaine's shoulder, and Jeff had a magazine on his lap, but he was staring at the wall. "Hi."

Jeff looked up, standing so fast the magazine fell to the ground. "Hi."

Nick went over. "Sorry I didn't text you. You should be asleep."

He shook his head. "No, I was too worried. How is he? How are you?"

After being silent for hours, answering these questions felt exhausting. He just leaned into him instead, Jeff enveloping him in his arms instantly. Nick rested his weight against Jeff, trusting him to hold him close and upright, squeezing his eyes shut. "He's still out. They said he should wake up. He has a few broken bones and a bad concussion."

Jeff was rubbing his back in slow circles, with a firm pressure that made Nick feel safe. He felt some of his numbness melt away, Jeff thawing him. "He'll wake up. I know it."

"What if he doesn't?" He heard his voice tremble. He hated to cry, and tried to keep his tears at bay, but it was hard. "We've barely spoken. Only to fight. He still hates me. What if I lose him like that?"

Jeff was silent for a moment. "I… I don't know." They were still just kids. Sixteen. They didn't know the answers to questions like that. He forgot sometimes how young they still were. He felt like they were wiser for what they'd both been through, but moments like these made him feel small, and scared. "But you can't dwell on that. Okay? You can't. He hurt you. It's not your fault you were distant. And you didn't know this would happen."

Nick felt a few tears slip, the cotton of Jeff's shirt stained with them. "I'm scared."

Jeff held him a little tighter. A little closer. "I know. I'm right here." He didn't say 'don't be scared' or 'look on the bright side'. Jeff knew what that scary, confusing feeling was like. He didn't let Nick go.

Eventually, they sat down, Jeff still keeping Nick close to his side, Nick focusing on Jeff's warmth instead of the coldness of the hospital waiting room. He didn't want to go back in the room yet. They watched out the window as night turned to dusky morning, then cloudy day. "You didn't sleep all night." Nick said softly.

"Neither did you." He pulled Nick's legs over his lap. "We can sleep at my dorm. Max will go somewhere."

Nick rubbed his eyes. He felt exhausted, but not sleepy, if that made any sense. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. "Okay."

Kurt woke up a bit later, blinking his eyes open groggily. "What did the doctors say?" He said instantly, Nick sighing.

"He's… he hasn't woken up. He has some broken bones. And a concussion."

Kurt bit his lip. "Well, he should wake up. It's only been a little while since it happened. His body is just recuperating."

Jeff nodded his agreement, and Nick leaned into him more. "Yeah." He wasn't convinced. But he didn't feel like crying again, so he let himself think Kurt was right and listened to Jeff's heartbeat. About ten minutes later, his mother came into the waiting room. Nick had never seen her look disheveled. But she clearly had slept in a chair by the bedside, her eyes bloodshot and her hair loose.

"Nick, can you come to the room?" She asked. She didn't seem to even notice the way he was cuddled up to Jeff. He nodded, separating from him and promising he'd be back soon. He followed his mother down the hall.

"Did the doctors say anything else?"

She shook her head. "No." She tucked her hair behind her ear, smoothing out her wrinkled shirt. "He's stable though."

He nodded a little, taking a deep breath. Okay. Everything would be okay. "That's good."

Nick entered the room with her, nodding hello to Michael and standing by the bedside. He tried not to look at his father's face, looking at the heart monitor instead. "I just wanted to bring you in here to- say a couple things. To the both of you." His mother said, twirling the ring on her finger. "If something happens to him…"

"He'll wake up." Michael said gently, but assertively. Nick couldn't bring himself to say anything.

His mother nodded a little, resting her hands in her lap. "Well, I know that he hasn't had the closest relationship with you two. But he loves you. He does."

Nick didn't believe her, but he nodded. "Yeah." He said softly, gaze wandering along the IV in his father's arm.

"And something like this- it makes me realize I should foster a relationship with both of you. I want to be your mother."

Michael looked to Nick, who looked back with a weary expression. She didn't know how to be that, she never had. "I guess we could all stand to be a little closer." Michael said, and Nick nodded a little.

She wiped her eyes and looked to Nick. "How is- how is Jeffrey? He stayed the whole night?"

Nick straightened a little, surprised she'd asked. "Uh- yeah. Yeah, he wants to be here for me."

"That's good." She nodded, as if telling herself that. "He's good to you?"

He breathed in. That didn't even begin to sum it up. "No one has ever cared about me like him."

She rubbed her eyes. "I'll be better. I'm going to be better about this. I'm still trying to understand it all. But you're happy. And healthy." She looked at Nick's father, shaking her head. "That's all I really want."

It wasn't perfect. But she was trying. That was… touching. "Yeah." He said softly.

"You can go back to Dalton. You don't have to stay. I will call you if there are any updates." His mother said, slowly returning to her calm exterior. Nick could watch the transition like a switch being flipped, rendering her blank again. Nick never wanted to be like that.

"Okay. Jeff's not gonna leave without me, and he needs sleep, so." He went to the door. "I'll be waiting on the call."

She nodded. "Don't let this get in the way of your studies. Junior year is incredibly important on your transcript."

There was the mother Nick knew. "I know. I'll see you soon." While normal families might hug here, Nick just waved, Michael giving him a nod. He left the room and let out a breath. His mom was coming around. Michael had come around. There was hope. He wanted desperately for his family to love Jeff, though he knew it shouldn't matter what they think. It didn't. But still. When he reached the waiting room again, Kurt and Blaine were gone, and Jeff was on the phone.

"Yeah, I guess he should wake up. But I'm more worried about Nick. He's stressed, obviously. And he's scared. I don't know what to do, I know nothing I do can help." Jeff was saying, rubbing one of his temples and shaking his foot. "I don't want him to pull away from me, he does that sometimes. I don't want him to clam up." He listened to the other person, then nodded slowly. "I know. I love him too. I love him more than anything." Nick made his presence known then, his footsteps a little louder, and Jeff looked up. "Hey, beautiful. My mom says she's thinking of you."

Nick sat next to Jeff, leaning against him. "Thanks, Amy."

Jeff relayed the message to her, listening to her response and kissing Nick's forehead afterwards. "She says she loves you, and if you need some homemade food or a good hug, she is more than happy to provide." Nick couldn't help it, his eyes brimmed with tears. Jeff pulled him closer. "I gotta go, mom. Yeah, I'll talk to you later. Love you." He hung up, brushing his fingers through Nick's hair. "Was it bad news?"

Nick shook his head, wiping his eyes. "No. No news. My mom told me… she's okay with us. That she wants me to be happy."

Jeff took Nick's hand. "That's great, it's about time she got her priorities straight." He squeezed Nick's hand gently. "So are these happy tears?"

Nick shrugged, dragging his sleeve over his eyes. He had no idea. He was so emotionally drained. "I think I'm just tired. I want to get out of this hospital."

"That's understandable." Jeff stood, bringing Nick up with him. "How about we spend the weekend at my house instead of Dalton?"

Nick nodded, moving close to Jeff again. He didn't want to be apart from him. "Please."

They went out to the parking lot, getting in Kurt's waiting car, where the couple had retreated to pick up real coffee and catch up on sleep in slightly more comfortable seats. "Can you drop us off at my house, Kurt?" Jeff asked, relaying directions to him as they left the hospital parking lot. Nick made sure his phone was off silent so he could hear if his mom called, then rested his head on Jeff's shoulder. Exhaustion took over, and Jeff was warm and comforting, and Nick fell asleep before they even made it to Jeff's house. He woke slightly when they arrived, Jeff giving Kurt and Blaine whispered goodbyes and promises for updates, picking Nick up bridal style and carrying him inside and up to his bedroom. He laid Nick in bed and took off his shoes and jacket for him, pulling the covers around him and kissing his forehead. Nick dozed off again somewhere around there, dreaming about Jeff in a hospital gown and spilling coffee all over the hospital floor.

* * *

Nick didn't know how much later it was when he woke, but he felt like he'd slept for a year. It was good, though, he'd needed it. Jeff wasn't in the room, and Nick could see that it was dark out now. He took his time stretching and sitting up, looking around Jeff's room. He'd always loved Jeff's room, how it was messy but not in a bad way, in an organized chaos kind of way. He still had his childhood board games and books on his shelves, as well as his newer possessions, soccer trophies and his collection of classic movies. Nick pulled Jeff's pillow into his lap and inhaled, sighing out afterwards. He wished he could bottle the scent, it was so instantly comforting. It smelled like Jeff's shampoo and cologne and just _him_.

He pulled himself out of the warm bed and changed into some of Jeff's clothes, tossing his wrinkled and tearstained clothes from his hospital visit in the hamper. He washed his face and studied his reflection. There were still faint bags under his eyes, but there was nothing he could do about that. He headed downstairs, entering the kitchen where Amy was making dinner and Jeff was doing homework at the counter. "Nick, you're awake." Amy smiled, and Jeff looked up, putting down his pencil.

"How did you sleep?"

"I slept well. Probably for too long, though." He laughed a little, and Jeff shook his head.

"No, you needed it."

Amy nodded her agreement. "And now, you need to eat. And you need to eat a lot."

"Mom." Jeff laughed softly, shaking his head as Nick sat next to him. "Don't force feed him."

"I'm actually starving." Nick laughed a little as well, smiling at Amy gratefully. "Thank you."

Amy looked pleased, serving both Nick and Jeff way more than they could eat. "Of course." Nick ate, and realized he really was hungry, having barely eaten since his mother had called him with news of the accident. He filled up on Amy's food, which made Amy even happier, and for a few moments he could pretend nothing was wrong. He was in his boyfriend's comfy sweatshirt, full and rested and watching Jeff count on his fingers as he worked through his homework and listening to Amy hum as she cleaned up the dinner dishes. The kitchen was warm and smelled like spices and Jeff kept pausing to kiss his cheek and nose. This was perfect. "How has your year been so far, lovebug? Aside from recent events." Amy asked as she wiped down the counter, and Nick shrugged.

"It's been okay. My classes are good. The Warblers have a show coming up. I don't love my roommate, but I don't spend too much time in my room."

"You're rooming with that asshat Sebastian, right?" Amy shook her head. "Ugh. I wish I could give him a piece of my mind."

Jeff blushed, laughing. "Easy there. It's all water under the bridge now."

Amy huffed her disagreement, and Nick laughed. "Me and Amy don't forgive people that have hurt you that easily."

Jeff kissed him. "My true heroes."

"Don't ever forget it." Amy smiled, finishing the dishes. "I have to go pick up Aaron and Jason at their friend's house. Don't burn the house down when I'm gone."

"No promises." Jeff smiled, Amy shaking her head as she left.

"I love her." Nick sighed, and Jeff laughed.

"She loves you back." He drew hearts in his notebook with Nick's name inside them.

Nick leaned over his shoulder. "What are you working on?"

"Pre-calc." Jeff sighed, erasing the hearts and going back to the problem he was on. "I'm not doing too hot."

Nick frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jeff picked at the fringe on the side of the paper. "I have a C in the class right now."

"What?" Nick sat up a little straighter. "Jeff, you can't go below a B with your scholarship."

"I know." Jeff closed his notebook. "I know that."

Nick softened. "You need a tutor."

"No, I can figure it out. I don't need help." Jeff assured him, but Nick knew he was lying. Jeff hated asking for help from anybody. And he hated other people knowing he was getting help, too.

"If the grade isn't up by the end of the week, you're getting a tutor." Nick didn't want to sound like a mother, but he was terrified that Jeff would have to leave Dalton.

Jeff nodded. "It'll be up." Nick opened Jeff's notebook again, taking his pencil and drawing a heart with Jeff's name inside, just to see him smile again. It worked, and Jeff wrapped his arm around him. "Let's go up to my room? When you're in my sweatshirt you look irresistibly snuggly."

Nick laughed softly, nodding and getting up from the table with him, going to his room. "I'll keep that in mind and wear it more often."

"Please do." Jeff entered the room with him, getting in bed and immediately pulling Nick close, adjusting until they fit together perfectly. "I love you."

Nick pulled his hands inside the sleeves of the sweatshirt and cuddled into him. "I love you more."

"I might fall asleep."

"I'll allow it." He smiled softly, feeling Jeff go limp within minutes. He wasn't tired after his long nap earlier, so he just laid there with him, tracing over his back and trying to contain his thoughts to what was happening here and now. Not his father or family or Jeff's scholarship. Just Jeff's back slowly rising and falling. Eventually, his mind did wander, but to a good place. He imagined a shoebox apartment in New York, with a big window that let in the light for their cat to sunbathe in. A collection of old furniture, not all pristine and matching like at Nick's house. Blankets laying around and a few plants that Jeff would forget to water, so they'd have to keep getting replaced. A tiny kitchen with an old-fashioned fridge and toaster, where they could eat breakfast before they left to do whatever it was they had to do that day. A comfy bedroom that Nick could think about returning to all day. And Jeff. Jeff, making their house a home, filling it with the sounds of his guitar and singing to a little radio they'd keep on the counter. Jeff, wrapping Nick in his arms and pulling him to dance around the living room. Jeff, kissing him goodnight every evening and kissing him goodmorning everyday.

He wanted it. He kissed Jeff's forehead and closed his own eyed. He'd have it. He was already halfway there.

* * *

When they went back to school, Nick felt lighter. Amy had sent them back with food and hugs and well wishes for Nick's father, who still hadn't woken. But he was going to wake up eventually, so Nick pushed the thoughts of him from his mind. No need to grieve someone who wasn't gone yet.

"You should sleep, you have to wake up early for class tomorrow." Jeff kissed his cheek at the door of Nick's dorm, and he sighed.

"So do you."

Jeff nodded a little. "Obviously."

Nick played with Jeff's shirt. "You should study a little before sleep."

He looked at Jeff's expression, which suddenly looked weary. "I'll try my best."

He kissed his jaw. "If you get good grades I'll kiss you a million times."

Jeff smiled softly, running his hand down Nick's side. "Where?"

Nick laughed, leaning into him just as Sebastian approached. "Sorry to interrupt." He unlocked their door.

Jeff shook his head. "You're okay." He kissed Nick and separated from him. "I'll get sleep." He promised Nick, crossing his heart.

"See you tomorrow." Nick nodded, and Jeff blew him a kiss from down the hall.

"I'll be seeing you tonight in my dreams!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, slipping into the room with Nick following. "How are you guys still in the honeymoon phase?"

Nick smiled a little to himself. "It's how it's always been." He shrugged. It was true, he and Jeff had never left the phase where they couldn't help but be affectionate. But in no way was their relationship not serious because of it. They had changed since they started dating in other ways. Jeff let himself be more vulnerable. Nick gained more confidence. They learned from eachother everyday. "The honeymoon phase isn't a thing. It's an idea straight people came up with so when they get sick of eachother they have an excuse, and to push those bad romantic comedies where they hate being married."

Sebastian snorted, sitting on his bed. "One way to put it, I guess. Or you guys are just the rare exception to how most relationships wind up."

He liked the idea of that. That he and Jeff had something other couples didn't have. "Maybe." Nick pulled off the sweatshirt Jeff had lent him and folded it, putting it on his desk chair before getting into bed.

Just as he was beginning to fall asleep, Sebastian spoke. "I heard your father is in rough shape."

Nick looked over at him, only seeing his expression vaguely in the dark. "He'll be fine. Not that it's really your business."

"Sorry." Sebastian muttered, Nick looking to the ceiling in the beat of silence that followed. "If you wanna, like, talk about it, I can listen."

He almost laughed. "You can? You've never listened to me before."

He heard Sebastian settle back in bed. "Just wanted to put it out there."

A long stretch of silence punctuated the conversation. "Thanks." Nick finally said, though it pained him to. A few minutes later, Sebastian was snoring, leaving Nick to his thoughts. His main thought being he wished Jeff were here, he'd fall asleep easier then. After a while of tossing and turning, he got up and took Jeff's sweatshirt, bringing it back to bed and holding it as he attempted sleep again. With the soft fabric against his cheek, he could relax, inhaling and pretending Jeff was there, reminding him not to worry and stroking his fingers through his hair. There's no way he'd survive if Jeff lost his scholarship and had to leave. There was no way. Jeff had to pass that class.

* * *

The next day, Nick focused his worries on Jeff's studies. If he occupied himself with that, there would be no room to worry about his father. After school, Nick went to Jeff's dorm, knocking.

Max opened the door, smiling. "Nick, hey. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." He nodded, though it wasn't quite true. "Is Jeff here?"

"Yeah, but he's asleep." Max stepped aside to let Nick in. Sure enough, Jeff was sprawled on his stomach, arm hanging off the bed and snoring softly. Nick sighed.

"We've been out of class for like, twenty minutes, how did he even fall asleep that fast?" Nick went over, shaking his arm gently. Jeff stirred, glancing over.

"Mm, hi." He held out his arms for Nick to lay beside him, and Nick waved them away.

"You should not be napping. You should be studying pre-calculus."

Jeff turned back over. "I'm not gonna know it, Nick. There's no point."

"Are you serious?" Nick turned him back to face him. "You're just gonna give up?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I'm not giving up. There's just- there's no chance, okay? I don't understand it. I'm not going to understand it."

Nick crossed his arms. He wanted to pull Jeff into his arms and reassure him he could do it, everything would be fine. But he knew he had to be harsher with him to get him to keep pushing through. "The Jeff I know wouldn't back down from a challenge."

Jeff looked conflicted. "You don't understand, it's not a challenge, it's flat out impossible."

"It's not impossible. Where is my boyfriend?" Nick tilted his head. "He'd have way more fight in him than this."

Jeff sat up. "It's not that easy-"

"I know it isn't." Nick stopped him. "It's gonna be hard. But you've overcome a lot of shit that hasn't been easy. I want that guy. The guy that faces problems and does everything he can to come out on top."

Jeff threw off his covers, getting up. "I hate you for knowing me too well."

Nick nearly sighed in relief, seeing Jeff grab his backpack. "Don't forget it. I know you. You're gonna get through this. And like it or not, I'm helping you out." He held a hand up before Jeff could protest. "And so are the rest of the Warblers. We're meeting them in the library in twenty minutes. We're not letting you fall through the cracks, okay? We care too much."

Jeff gave a tiny smile, looking at Max. "See what I have to deal with?" He teased, but wrapped his arms around Nick anyways. "Thank you, beautiful. Thank you."

"This is too sweet, my teeth are rotting." Max pretended to groan, laughing as he waved them off. The pair headed to the library, Nick ruffling his hand through Jeff's sleep-messy hair.

"Kurt is great with math, he'll be able to show you what to do."

Jeff nodded. "Right. I'll pay him in hugs and awesome mixtapes." He laughed softly, Nick rolling his eyes.

"No one expects anything in return. This is what friends do."

"You're still gonna get lucky." Jeff blew him a kiss, Nick dodging it like a bullet.

"No one's getting lucky until your grade is safe."

"Bummer." Jeff smiled, setting his bag down on the table in the library where a few other Warblers were already seated. "Hey."

Other Warblers trickled in slowly, all working on their homework as well to keep Jeff from getting distracted, taking turns doing practice problems with him and testing him on his homework questions. He started off determined, focused on his work and letting everyone help out. But as time ticked on, Nick could see Jeff grow discouraged. He listened to those helping him but get frustrated, resisting their attempts to further explain and shutting down instead. "You're making progress." Nick pointed out when Jeff looked particularly down, Jeff just shaking his head.

"It's not easy, don't beat yourself up." Blaine touched Jeff's arm, who leaned into his touch. Nick wished he could keep him close right now, Jeff was like a battery that recharged with human contact.

Kurt picked up Jeff's pencil. "And look, you're nearly done. Just a few more."

Jeff looked at Nick miserably, and Nick read him easily. "How about a break? We've been at this for hours."

The Warblers agreed. "Let's get dinner, then we can go to someone's room and keep going." Trent suggested, and everyone nodded, packing their things and heading to the cafeteria. Nick hung back when Jeff didn't get up.

"Hungry?"

Jeff shook his head, clenching his jaw like he always did before the tears fell. "I deserve to lose my scholarship."

He felt his heart drop. "Don't say that-"

"It's true." Jeff shook his head. "I'm not smart enough to be here. I can't even do five homework questions myself." He pushed his papers across the table and put his head in his hands.

"You need to stop with this." Nick bit his lip. "Stop sulking. Stop giving up."

"Stop fucking saying I'm giving up."

Nick's stomach twisted. "It feels like you are. Do you even care if you stay here? You're not even trying. What if you have to leave Dalton?"

Jeff lifted his head, looking at Nick like he was another frustrating math equation. "I _am_ trying. It just doesn't matter. I don't get it."

"You need to try harder." Nick felt his patience wear thin, how frayed his nerves were. He'd lose his dad. He'd lose Jeff. He felt like he had zero control right now. "We'll stay up all night. You'll learn it. You have to."

"I can't!" Jeff raised his voice slightly. "I'm doing everything I can. I can't just _learn_ it. Just because you understand it doesn't mean everyone else isn't trying hard enough to."

Nick knew he was right, but he felt like he was at the end of his rope. "I know that. But if you spent half as much time studying as you did sulking, you'd have an A." Jeff's expression changed to hurt instantly, and Nick felt like an asshole, watching him shove his papers in his bag. "I didn't mean-"

"I don't care what you meant. I'm done studying. My brain is fried." Nick sat there silently. He hated fighting with Jeff. It made his stomach hurt. "See you tomorrow."

Jeff left without looking at him. Without blowing a kiss or flashing a smile. Nick's heart was tight. He knew Jeff was trying his hardest. He was just so terrified of Jeff having to transfer out. He needed to push him. He stayed in the library a long time, thinking about scholarships and pre-calculus and Jeff until his phone rang, breaking his trance. He dug it from his pocket and answered. "Hello?"

"Your father woke up."

Nick breathed in sharply. "He did?"

"Yes, he's stable. You don't need to come up here, stay at school, it's a school night. I just wanted to let you know." His mother said, and Nick nodded, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders.

"Yeah. Okay. Tell him…" He trailed off. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell his father. It was a bit complicated of a feeling to translate into words. "I'll see him soon."

"I will. Goodnight, Nick." She was already talking to someone as she hung up the phone, Nick running a hand through his hair. It wasn't a big emotional event. That wasn't how his family worked. But still, he felt a lot right now. His father waking wouldn't change anything with their relationship, he wasn't stupid enough to get his hopes up for a sudden personality switch. But he was alive. And Nick was grateful for that. Everything else he was feeling was too abstract to think about. He got up with the intention to find Jeff and tell him the news, but then paused. Maybe he should give him his space right now. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what would be best, they didn't fight often and Jeff rarely snapped like that. Space was probably good.

He headed back to his dorm instead, thankful Sebastian was absent from the room and getting into bed even though it was early. If he was asleep, he wouldn't overthink. He toyed with his phone for a while, debating, then sent Jeff a text.

To: Jeff 7:34 PM

I'm sorry for pushing you too hard earlier. I didn't mean to say you weren't capable or anything like that. I just love you. And I'm scared you'll have to leave. And I love you.

He sent it without reading it over, pulling his covers up tight and staring at his phone on the bed, willing it to light up. It didn't, not for a long time. Not until Nick began to fall asleep, and then it buzzed with a call. He quickly started, answering. "Hello?"

"I love you too."

Confused, Nick rubbed his eyes. "That's not usually how people start conversations, Jeff."

He heard Jeff sigh. "I'm responding to your text, I have stuff I wanna say. But I wanted to start with that." There was a pause, then Jeff's voice again. "You know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, right?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "You're the best thing that's happened to _me_."

"I'm fucking terrified I'll lose my scholarship. I don't want to go to a different school where I can't see you all the time and I don't want to feel like a failure and I don't want my mom to be disappointed and I don't want _you_ to be disappointed in me-"

"Stop, I'd never be disappointed in you over something like that." Nick interrupted, hearing the shake in Jeff's voice. "I was stressed earlier, that's why I said what I said. You're trying your hardest, I know that you are. That's what matters, okay? So math is a tough subject for you. That doesn't mean anything. You have straight A's in every other class. And even outside of book smarts, you have brains. You're clever and witty and have this weird wiseness like a sixteen year old grandpa."

Jeff sniffed. "Much to learn I still have, young grasshopper."

Nick laughed a little. "The point is, you are not a failure, okay? You're smart, and worthy of being at this school, and if you talk like Yoda again I'm gonna be the one leaving you."

He could hear him tapping on the table, his anxious habit, as well as a tired sounding laugh. "Sorry. I didn't mean to push you to give me a pep talk. I'm just- if I have to leave so much will change. And I love how things are. I don't want them to change."

"Have faith in yourself." Nick said, drawing in a deep breath. "No one is leaving. Nothing will change. You'll get that grade up."

"If I don't get a good grade on tomorrow's test, my grade will go too far down to be able to salvage it to an A or B by the end of the term." Jeff said, and Nick looked at the clock. It was almost nine.

"You up for a late night study session?"

* * *

The Warblers were crammed in Nick's room, taking up both beds and the floor, all armed with textbooks and notebooks and whiteboards to help Jeff study.

"You guys didn't need to all come. It's gonna run late and it's a boring subject-" Jeff had tried protesting, but his friends weren't having it, piling into Nick's dorm and blanketing the floor with study materials.

"There's no way we're letting you leave Dalton." Kurt said, uncapping his marker like a weapon and poising it over his mini whiteboard. "For the next hours, the only conversation is to be about pre-calculus."

And it was. Similar to the library earlier, everyone took turns quizzing Jeff, but they had a system now. They wouldn't let him get frustrated, Nick rewarding right answers with kisses and everyone else keeping him motivated with music and snacks they'd brought. Kurt and Blaine played good cop bad cop, which also worked extremely well, until Jeff said Kurt's bad cop was turning him on and distracting him from studying. So were Nick's more passionate rewards. But he kept going, getting more and more answers right and not seeming to get worn down. But that could be due to the excessive amounts of Red Bull he was running on. By one in the morning, Jeff had scored an 86% on one of Kurt's practice tests, and the Warblers popped soda like champagne, Jeff collapsing in dramatic relief and pulling Nick down with him.

"You've got this, Jeff. You already did it. That test is gonna be a piece of cake." Nick laughed as Jeff held him close, the other Warblers cheering their agreement.

"Speaking of cake, I super appreciate all you guys coming over and helping me, but I'm high off victory and caffeinated drinks and Nick is looking extremely do-able." Jeff grinned, everyone laughing and making various remarks as they left, Jeff making sure to throw in a few sincere thank you's as they filed out the door. Once they were gone, Jeff looked at Nick, who was still on top of him from where Jeff had pulled him down. "I don't deserve any of them. Or you."

Nick shook his head, kissing him. "No one wants you to leave. You make everyone's days brighter. Or at least, a lot more interesting."

Jeff laughed, running his hands down Nick's back. "You make my days brighter _and_ more interesting."

Nick rolled his eyes, smiling as he kissed him again. "Is this a competition?"

Jeff nodded, wrapping his arms around him and keeping him close. "Yeah, but I'll always win."

"As long as I'm with you, I'm always winning." Nick grinned slyly, Jeff laughing.

"Okay, I'll give you points for that one."

Nick smiled, unbuttoning Jeff's shirt. "I can definitely earn a few more points tonight."

"As long as we're not up too late, I have a test tomorrow." Jeff teased, and Nick laughed.

"You being responsible is such a kink." He teased back, and the pair made use of the empty room, falling asleep together later with Nick's head pressed to Jeff's chest. He wouldn't lose him. Jeff could do this. But he still snuggled a little closer and kept their hands intertwined.

* * *

The next day, Jeff and Nick didn't get a chance to see eachother until Warblers rehearsal. Needless to say, Nick felt on edge. He had faith in Jeff to pass, but his anxiety about losing him overruled his logical thinking, and he paced the floor as he waited for Jeff to enter.

"He knew his stuff last night Nick, don't stress." Kurt reassured him, and Nick nodded a little.

"Yeah, I know. I can't help it."

Blaine took Kurt's hand, absorbing Nick's emotions. "Of course. It's scary to think the people closest to you won't be around as much anymore."

Kurt gave him the silent reassurance the couple did so effortlessly, and Nick had to turn away. What if he didn't get to kiss Jeff in the hallway anymore, or the team lost his innovation and new ideas, or Nick had to start sleeping alone most of the time again? Just when the hypotheticals were starting to eat his brain, the doors opened, and Jeff walked in. "Finally." Wes said, though he looked concerned rather than mad.

"How did it go?" Kurt asked, and Nick knew just by glancing at Jeff's face what his answer was.

He stood there on the stairs, rubbed the back of his neck and laughed a little, a laugh that pierced the otherwise dead silent room. It felt like the room was holding its breath, everything suspended as they waited for the verdict. Jeff looked at Nick when he said it, his eyes giving it away before he spoke. "I'm not coming back to Dalton next semester."

* * *

 **I promise, the next update will come sooner than the last. In the meantime, reviews would mean a lot, tell me your thoughts, what you want to see more of, anything (: See y'all soon x**


	18. Chapter 18

**Tried to get this update out quick :) This chapter jumps around a bit to keep things moving along so bear with me, and it's pretty long.**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Nick used to think that phrase was an exaggeration. But standing there, looking at Jeff at the top of the stairs, the room was heavy with quiet.

"No." Trent broke the silence first, shaking his head. "No way. You're coming back."

"I can't. I got a C on the test." Jeff said, in a funny voice Nick didn't recognize. Equal parts upset and trying to keep it together.

He could barely focus. Jeff had to come back to Dalton. There was just no other option. "There must be something we can do." He finally spoke, going to him. "I'll talk to the headmaster. We'll make it work."

Jeff just shook his head, and standing close, Nick could see his eyes brim with tears. "This school has a waiting list a mile long of kids that can get straight A's effortlessly. There's no way they'd let me stay."

The Warblers pitched in with various ideas and condolences but they all fell short. "Has the headmaster talked to you yet?" Kurt asked, biting his lip.

Jeff took a breath. "No, it won't be official until I get the final grade for the semester. So I- I can't come back after Christmas break. Which is bullshit, because I could've maybe redeemed myself the next semester in the class."

"Well, that means we have a couple months to get this sorted out. It's early October. We have until late December before Christmas break." Blaine pointed out, and everyone agreed optimistically. Jeff looked unconvinced.

"I don't think I'm up for rehearsal today, if that's okay." Jeff swallowed. "I'm gonna go tell Max so he has some warning to find a new roommate." And just like that, he left, the door swinging shut behind him and leaving the Warblers with a weight on their shoulders.

"I can't believe this." Someone said, and Nick sank down on the couch. A tiny voice in his head said he was being dramatic. He could see Jeff on the weekends and they could still call and text and everything. But the bigger voice screamed that wasn't the same, and he didn't know how to get by without his best friend by his side.

"I can't imagine how he feels right now." Kurt murmured, and Nick wanted to kick himself for being selfish. This was about Jeff and what he had to deal with now, not Nick. Jeff, who already felt like a failure. Jeff, who would have to start at a new school knowing nobody. Jeff, who would have to give up soccer and choir to babysit his brothers now that he'd be living at home again. His heart clenched.

Blaine touched his shoulder, seeing his conflicted expression. "Everything will be okay. You'll be there for him. You know how to cheer him up, how to keep him going."

Nick looked at him. He wanted to say he didn't know how to fix things, not this. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to cheer Jeff up when there were no bright sides. But he just said, "Yeah."

Rehearsal began eventually, but no one's heart was in it, and without Jeff there to keep the energy up like he usually did, they ended early. Everyone gave Nick messages to relay to Jeff, but they went in one ear and out the other as he dragged his feet out of the common room.

Maybe Nick didn't need to go to Dalton. He could go to Jeff's new school. But the idea instantly made him nauseous. He didn't want to change schools. He loved it here. The safety of his uniform, his Warbler family, the opportunity to live away from home. His parents wouldn't give him a choice to transfer anyways. He made it to Jeff's room and knocked.

Jeff opened the door, smiling a little. "Hi."

"We can talk about it, if you want." Nick sort of blurted. "Or not."

He shook his head a little. "Not."

Nick nodded, taking a breath. "That's fine."

Jeff stood aside for Nick to come in. "I would love some cuddles, however."

"Anything." Nick wrung his hands. They climbed into bed, Jeff fitting against him like he did so well, resting his head in the crook of Nick's neck. "Where's Max?"

"Meeting his girlfriend at some restaurant." Jeff traced his fingers down the lines of Nick's blazer. "We talked before he left. He said he won't say he'll miss me, because he's not letting me leave."

He knew Jeff didn't want to talk about it, but Nick needed to. "We'll make a plan."

Jeff pressed a kiss just under his jaw. "Just lay here with me."

"My mom can call. She will be able to work something out, we can donate to the school." Nick brainstormed aloud, and Jeff only kissed him again, right by his mouth.

"Sweetheart. Please." Nick looked at him, seeing a million things in Jeff's expression. "Let's just lay here."

They did. Nick combed his fingers through Jeff's hair until he was putty in his hands, humming softly and keeping him close enough to feel him everywhere. They didn't talk, Jeff didn't want to and Nick didn't know what to say. It was comfortable, but Nick had too much on his mind to really relax. Vaguely, he recalled what Jeff had said a few years ago. It felt like they were having an end of the world moment. Like everything they knew was about to change. That night felt like it was a decade ago, and that it was only yesterday. He held tighter to Jeff and closed his eyes, willing himself into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Time worked in a funny way when you were waiting for something. Some days passed in a blink, Nick barely remembered them happening until he realized they were another day closer to the date. And other days, most days, dragged on. While it may seem like a good thing that the days they had left together felt long, it was far worse than the shorter days, because those days felt restless. Timed. Like they had to use every second wisely. He hated it.

Before he knew it, it was Halloween. Jeff wanted to go as Frank-n-Furter and Rocky, as that was his prize for winning their prank war, and Nick had begrudgingly conceded.

"Why hello, Rocky." Jeff showed up in his doorway in fishnets and something silky and red, his eyes dark and covered with glitter, lips coated with a deep red lipstick.

Nick widened his eyes, laughing sort of breathlessly. "Hello to you too."

Jeff grinned, giving him a spin. "Like the costume?"

"You totally owned these fishnets before Halloween." Nick teased, hooking his finger in the netting.

"You caught me." Jeff smiled, throwing his arms around him. "And you are definitely inhumanly gorgeous."

Nick rolled his eyes, adjusting the gold shorts and laughing as Jeff pushed his hand away. "You're lucky I love you."

Jeff ruffled his hair. "Hell yeah I am. Let's go party."

They grabbed jackets and headed to the parking lot where Kurt and Blaine were waiting, as the party was off campus at a Dalton student's house. They hadn't mentioned Jeff's transfer in a couple weeks. It became an off-limits topic at rehearsal, everyone going silent whenever it was brought up or commented on. Jeff always brushed it off, changing the subject and acting unfazed. But Nick knew him better than he knew himself, and knew that Jeff was crushed about having to leave. He didn't even want to talk about it when it was just the two of them, insisting there was no sense in crying over what they couldn't control. Nick didn't want to push it, it wasn't his favorite subject either.

So they pretended it wasn't there. "Awe, y'all are boring!" Jeff yelled when he climbed in Kurt's car, seeing the couple dressed as Prince Charming and Cinderella. Kurt's Cinderella costume was a silky blue suit he'd made, and a gold tie, as well as shiny dress shoes to mimic glass slippers. Blaine was dressed in a suit he probably had already owned.

"You guys look great." Nick pushed Jeff. "Kurt, Project Runway would be lucky to have you."

Kurt smiled, smoothing his hair back. "They don't deserve me."

"Your confidence is sexy." Jeff blew him a kiss, Kurt pretending to wave it out the open window. Nick laughed, leaning into him and singing to the radio on the ride over. They made it there in good time, and cars lined the driveway and street.

"Damn. Full house." Blaine whistled, and Jeff grinned.

"The best kind of party." They entered to the sound of a bad Top Ten hit, but didn't care, Jeff leading the way to the table for drinks. Kurt just had water, as he was the driver, and Jeff took it upon himself to mix up something insane and sweet and way too strong. "Try it." Jeff held his cup out to Nick, who took a sip and made a face.

"Way too much vodka. Way too much… is that Capri-Sun?"

Jeff winked, taking a gulp, and Nick laughed, grabbing something more normal and letting it help him ease up. They circulated the party, running into other Warblers, as well as other students they didn't usually socialize with as much. Jeff knew everyone, but the second anyone brought up they'd heard about his transfer, he suddenly spotted someone else he needed to go say hello to, and was gone in an instant. Nick stopped after the first drink, but Jeff did not, as he was known to do at parties like this. Normally, Nick would advise him to slow down, but he had a feeling Jeff could use the distraction tonight.

"These shorts are so good on you. You're so good in them." Jeff smiled, nursing his plastic cup and leaning against the wall.

"Thanks, a genius picked my costume out." Nick tilted his head, and Jeff high-fived him.

"I'm a genius!" He repeated, quickly going sullen. "Not enough to stay at Dalton, though."

Nick wilted. "Jeff, I told you, none of this means you're not smart-"

"I know I know I know." Jeff groaned, slumping against the wall. "Can I come sleepover next semester?"

He smiled sadly. "Of course."

"I don't care about Dalton." Jeff waved his hand. "I care about you. I just wanna be where you are."

He stared at him, his heart flipping as it always did after Jeff said things like that, even after dating for nearly a year. The rest of the party wasn't so memorable, but that line stayed with Nick a long time.

* * *

"How about instead of going to your parents' house for Thanksgiving, we go to the tallest bridge in Ohio and jump off?"

Nick sighed, shaking his head. "It won't be that bad, Jeff." Jeff looked at him, and Nick crossed his arms. "Fine. It's gonna suck. But the sooner we get it over with, the sooner we get to go to Amy's house for dessert."

"I just don't understand why we're going at all." Jeff flipped through the pages of the book he was looking through, then pushed it across the table, uninterested. Despite not returning next semester, Jeff stayed on top of his studies, keeping excellent grades in his other classes. He didn't want to fall down a slippery slope. He still needed a good transcript.

"My mom invited you." Nick shrugged. Truthfully, he didn't quite understand it either. He knew his mother had said last month that she was going to work to be better about Jeff. He just didn't know how she'd suddenly gotten to a point where she was inviting Jeff to dinner. Thanksgiving dinner, for that matter. And he definitely had no idea how his father had approved it. But he didn't want to question. He wanted to believe this was a positive thing.

Jeff sighed, looking to him. "What if it's a prank? What if I get there and your mom dumps Thanksgiving dinner on my head?"

"She'd never make such a mess." Nick teased, but took Jeff's hand. "Listen. It's gonna be really awkward. But she's trying. She's trying to accept us. I- I want to try to forgive her. This is a good first step, right?" He searched Jeff's eyes, and Jeff squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you're making progress with them." He pecked his lips. "I'll be the perfect boyfriend all night. I'll be there for you. But just say the word and I'll pull the tablecloth out from under your mother's perfect centerpiece."

Nick laughed, kissing back. "My hero."

Jeff returned to his book and Nick worked through his homework, Jeff interrupting occasionally to draw on his arms with pen or read aloud lines he found particularly funny or accidentally sexual. Nick pretended to chastise him and tried not to think about what it would be like to have to study alone. "Do you think your parents will come to Sectionals? It's in a couple weeks." Jeff said after a while of studying, and Nick breathed in. He hadn't thought about it.

"Uhm… I'm not sure. I don't think that's really their kind of thing." He shrugged, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

"I don't think my mom's a high school choir junkie, but she still comes. It's not about the show, it's about supporting you."

Nick smiled a little and tapped his pen against Jeff's nose. "You support me."

"They should too." Jeff said, and Nick nodded, though he knew that wouldn't happen.

"I know. Get back to studying." He nudged Jeff's book towards him.

Jeff groaned. "It's only hot when you're bossy in bed."

Nick laughed, shaking his head before looking at his homework again. Baby steps with his parents were okay. Slow progress was still progress.

* * *

"I look good, right? I look okay?"

Nick leaned back against his headboard, smiling as he held his phone to his ear. "Yes, Jeff. I got your thousand mirror selfies of you in your suit and you look perfect." He heard Jeff shuffling on the other end, probably re-tying his tie for the tenth time. "It's not like you to be nervous about things like this, babe."

"Thanksgiving dinner with your parents is probably the most important dinner I'll ever attend." Jeff huffed. "Well, besides the dinners we'll attend at award shows."

"What will you be famous for?" Nick laughed softly.

Jeff laughed too. "They'll be for you, obviously. Haven't I always told you you're a star?"

Nick blushed, covering his face briefly as if someone was there to see it. Jeff was constantly making him feel the butterflies he'd felt when his crush first developed. "Shut up."

"I'll be over soon." Jeff said, and Nick heard him call to Amy for a lint roller.

"I love you. Don't stress."

Jeff turned his attention back to the phone, his voice close again. "You either, okay? Even if they have changed, their opinion doesn't mean anything about us or you or our relationship."

Nick nodded a little. "I know. I know." They hung up, Nick playing with his phone and turning over what Jeff had said. He was right, it didn't matter what his parents thought. But one good night with them would be nice. That's all. He got up and checked his own outfit in the mirror, making sure he looked presentable. Then he took a steadying breath and headed downstairs.

The kitchen smelled amazing, his mother had actually been cooking, though you wouldn't be able to tell looking at her now. She emerged from the kitchen in an expensive looking dress and shawl, already changed from the clothes she'd been cooking in. "You look nice, Nicholas." She commented, and Nick nodded, adjusting his shirt collar.

"Thank you."

His father came out of the living room with Michael, walking with a slight limp that the accident had left him with. Nick hadn't felt much had changed with their relationship, they had barely talked since what happened. But he seemed different. Seeing him, someone Nick had always thought to be this unbreakable, hardened person, limp into a room made him seem more human. "Jeffrey is coming by, yes?" His father asked, and Nick fought the urge to cross his arms, as he'd always been told it was disrespectful.

"Yeah. He'll be here soon."

There was a brief silence before Michael responded. "That's good."

More silence. His father's expression was pretty unreadable, though Nick had never been able to read him and this was not surprising. But it wasn't openly angry, so Nick would count that as a win. They migrated to the kitchen to take dishes from the oven and pretended to be a functional family, Nick counting down the minutes until he'd see Jeff. He didn't have to wait long, the doorbell rang just a while later, and Nick answered it, smiling when he saw him. "Hi."

Jeff kissed him quickly. "Hi." He still seemed nervous, which was understandable considering what had happened at their last dinner, but he'd always been good at covering it up. He hung his coat and scarf and put on his smile, going to the dining room with Nick. "The table looks great."

Nick's mother smiled as well, and it also seemed less than real. "Thank you, Jeffrey."

"Just Jeff is fine." Jeff nodded, and Nick's mother breathed in.

"Well, you can call me Lucy."

Nick's jaw almost dropped. Jeff looked surprised too, though he masked it quickly. "Sure." He caught Nick's eye, who shrugged and bit his lip against a smile.

His father entered without letting on to his limp, lifting his chin and not giving a smile. "We're glad you could make it."

Jeff nodded slowly. "I wanted to spend the holiday with Nick. It's about family, and he's always been mine." Nick blushed, smiling a little and not looking at his parents expressions. He just looked at Jeff, who was already looking at him.

"It's also about food. Let's eat." Michael laughed, and they took their seats at the table, Jeff sitting next to Nick and crossing his ankle over his.

They served themselves and Michael made most of the conversation, talking about local government drama and things Nick couldn't care less about. Jeff listened, though whenever Nick's father spoke Jeff looked down to his food and focused on that instead. Nick didn't expect Jeff to forgive him for the fight they'd had. Nick hadn't either. "When do you two go back to Dalton?" Lucy asked later.

"Sunday." Nick answered, but quickly tried to steer conversation away from the topic of school. "The turkey really is great, what do you guys think?"

"Your grades have been good, right?" His father ignored him, and Nick nodded.

"They've been good. What's the recipe-"

"What about you, Jeffrey?"

Jeff smiled a little. "I'm- doing my best."

Lucy raised an eyebrow. Nick could already see the conversation derailing. Before he could think of something to distract them, his father was speaking again. "What does that mean?"

Nick touched Jeff's leg under the table in silent apology. "I… struggled with keeping my scholarship. So I'm going to relocate next semester." Jeff nodded.

"The headmaster asked you to leave?" Lucy frowned, and Jeff shook his head.

"No. I just- without the scholarship I can't afford to keep going." Nick knew how Jeff hated talking about money, and tried to interject again.

"But he still has time left." He said, then put his fork down. "That meal was delicious, thanks mom."

No one responded, his parents sharing looks. "How much would it cost to keep going?" Lucy asked, and Jeff blushed.

"Oh, I don't know. It doesn't really matter."

"We could cover it for you." Lucy continued, Nick's heart picking up. "You just have three semesters left. Education is important-"

Jeff was shaking his head. "I can get a good education at a public school. Thank you, but that's not necessary."

"You should really consider what we're offering, Jeffrey." His father spoke sternly. "It's quite generous, you should be grateful-"

Jeff smiled tightly, standing up. "Thank you, but it's not necessary." He repeated, and Nick took his hand.

"Jeff-"

Jeff pulled his hand from Nick's and looked at the time. "My mom is expecting me back for dessert. Dinner was wonderful."

Nick watched helplessly as Jeff excused himself from the table, quickly doing the same and following him into the foyer. "Jeff, don't be mad."

"Of course I'm mad." Jeff whispered angrily and pulled his coat on, wrapping his scarf haphazardly. "I don't need your family's money, and I _especially_ don't need favors from your dad, who thinks I'm some trailer park punk."

Nick grabbed his own coat as Jeff opened the door, following him out. "He's trying to do something nice for you. He's trying to help you-"

"I don't need his help!" Jeff opened his car door and got in, Nick following suit on the passenger side. "Jesus, when has your father ever done a nice thing? He just wants to show that you guys have money and that he's powerful, I'd rather drop out of school entirely than let him give me a cent."

Nick breathed out, slamming his door. "You need to swallow your damn pride, Jeff. You can't do everything yourself all the time, it doesn't make you strong, it makes you stupid."

Jeff rolled his eyes, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway faster than needed. "Oh, fuck that. You have no idea what it's like."

"You're right! I don't! But I'm trying to help you and you're too damn stubborn to accept it!" Nick raised his voice. "Grow the fuck up." He realized how fast this fight was escalating, it was something that had been bubbling under the surface since Jeff had said he was leaving. They were scared.

Jeff laughed breathlessly, driving faster. "Your parents fucking brainwashed you already! They flash one smile your way and suddenly you're just like them, making everyone your charity case. I don't need it!"

"They did not brainwash me." Nick glared. "Is it so bad that I want you to be happy?"

"No, you want _you_ to be happy. You only want me to go to Dalton because you don't want to be alone." Jeff said louder, and Nick reddened.

"Pull over." He snapped, unbuckling his seatbelt. "You're acting like an ass."

Jeff pulled over, nearly slamming the brakes. "You're gonna walk home?"

"Yeah." Nick said, but didn't open the door. "I'm mad at you."

"I'm mad at you." Jeff countered, face flushed and hands taut on the wheel. And then they were kissing, Nick climbing over the center console and into Jeff's lap, fumbling with his seatbelt and pulling back the lever to drop Jeff's seat back, the seat flattening with a bounce that made them both gasp. "I'm not stubborn." Jeff breathed between kisses, Nick pulling his tie loose and tossing his jacket in the backseat.

"Yes you are." Nick protested, kissing everywhere he could reach and not bothering with Jeff's shirt, unbuckling his belt.

"Fuck." Jeff groaned, threading his fingers through Nick's hair as Nick's hand wandered below his waist. "I still- am mad at you." He managed, Nick kissing him instead.

"Same." He muttered, and the pair stopped talking then, making use of their limited space and being mindful of the windows, Nick finally catching his breath and resting against him. "God."

Jeff wiped his forehead, breathing hard. "And you said keeping lube in the glove compartment was impractical."

Nick couldn't help but laugh, turning his face into Jeff's neck to hide it. "Shut up."

They laid there in silence for a while, chests rising and falling fast and breath hot on eachothers' skin. "I can't take the money, Nick."

Nick traced his fingers over Jeff's chest. "I know." He whispered. "I'm sorry. I just… I want you to go to Dalton so badly. And you're right. I'm being a little selfish. But you're the love of my life. Of course I want you there with me."

Jeff ran his hand up and down Nick's back. "You're the love of my life too." He breathed out, breath fogging up the window. "And I know I'm too prideful. It's so much money, though. I can't accept that from anyone. And I really don't want to feel like I owe your parents anything."

Nick looked up at him, brushing his fingers over Jeff's collarbone. "Do you really think I'm like them?"

"Not at all." Jeff leaned in for a kiss, a softer one this time. "I shouldn't have said that, it's not true. You are generous for the right reasons, and your heart is so big. You're a good person, through and through." His voice was sincere, and Nick cuddled closer.

"I think they're getting better. They're trying." Nick murmured, and Jeff took Nick's hand.

"It's good they're trying. Just remember they're not your only family."

He smiled, squeezing Jeff's hand. "I know."

They eventually drove to Jeff's house, quickly getting to Jeff's room before Amy saw them and changing, fixing their hair and making themselves decent again. If Amy noticed, she didn't say anything, and they ate pie and told stories and they fell asleep early, full and content. He was grateful his and Jeff's fight had been so short-lived, more of a heat of the moment scenario than anything else. He didn't want to waste time fighting with him. Soon, they'd be seeing less of eachother. And Nick was going to make his days count.

* * *

"I love competitions." Jeff stepped off the bus with Nick, already dancing as they walked towards the building Sectionals was being held in this year.

Nick smiled, taking deep breaths. "Same." He had a solo part this competition. Not a whole song, but a pretty sizeable part. He was nervous, but he loved the adrenaline. Performing was what he loved doing.

"Think we have a shot at winning?" Trent worried behind them, and Blaine nodded.

"Don't you guys keep up with the show choir blogs? The teams we're up against are hardly competition."

Jeff grinned. "I love when Competition Blaine comes out."

The team had a running joke that Blaine had two sides, his usual sunny self, and the Blaine that made appearances at performances. That Blaine was a lot sassier. "Me too." Kurt stole a kiss from his boyfriend, Blaine laughing.

"I just like winning, okay?"

"With Nick in a solo part, we'll be winning." Jeff patted Nick's back, Nick looking at him gratefully. Jeff had been hyping him since he'd gotten the part.

"And that freestyle bit in Stereo Hearts, your dancing will definitely spice things up." Kurt added to Jeff, and Jeff smiled widely.

"Damn straight. Let's go win this thing."

They all cheered, it was easy to get a group of teenage boys riled up, even dapper private school boys in suits and ties. The building was nice inside, swarming with other show choirs and guests. Nick wondered idly if his parents would show, but dismissed the idea quickly. It didn't matter. "Alright guys, we should run through our numbers at least once before we go on." Wes led the way to their assigned room, a few Warblers groaning. They had held an extra long rehearsal the previous day, six hours of running their numbers without a break longer than fifteen minutes. Jeff had tried to start a protest, but was still the most lively out of the group.

They followed Wes's orders, rehearsing until the show started. They would be performing last. Nick used his nerves to fuel his energy, as well as Jeff's encouragement, and then they went out to watch the other groups perform. Jeff sat next to him and held his hand, running a whispered commentary under his breath the whole time. "You're gonna blow these guys out of the water." Jeff murmured, and Nick rolled his eyes.

"I have a small part, Jeff."

"There's no small parts, only small actors." Jeff bumped his arm. "And you're not small." He threw in a wink.

Nick laughed, bumping back. "Shhh."

The professor that had come along as their chaperone shushed them as well, but Jeff kept up his commentary quietly, Nick stifling his laughter. Soon enough, it was their turn. There was a brief intermission first, and the Warblers went backstage, doing various vocal runs and warm-ups. Jeff massaged Nick's shoulders like he was about to duke it out in the boxing ring. "Hey, I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

Nick breathed in, turning and pulling him close. "I know. I'm proud of you, too."

Jeff smiled sadly. "This is my last performance with you."

Nick's heart broke a little bit. "Jeff-"

The Warblers crowded around them then, putting their hands in the middle for their pre-show chant. It was a horrible chant, with multiple guys making bird calls and harmonizing, but it made everyone laugh, and it made them feel like a family. Jeff was part of that family. "Let's win this one for Jeff." Kurt spoke up then, looking to Nick quickly. He must've heard what Jeff had said.

Jeff blushed, laughing. "You guys!" They all cheered louder, hugging him close and slapping his back. Nick never let go of his hand. And then the lights were flashing, signaling the end of the intermission, and the Warblers separated to take their places behind the curtain. Jeff was on the opposite side of the stage, and he went to leave, but turned at the last second, pulling Nick to him and kissing him like they were never going to be able to again. Nick kissed back instantly, holding him tightly as if it would make him stay. And not just for now. "Good luck." Jeff said when they parted, disappearing to the other side of the stage before the curtain rose.

Nick took a deep breath and took his place, his heart beating fast for different reasons now. He heard the audience quiet, and the announcer introduce them. The curtain rose, Blaine stepping forward and singing the first notes to _Just the Way You Are,_ the Warblers falling into step and filling in the seamless harmony they'd practiced for the better part of two months. Halfway through the song, Nick and Blaine switched places, and Nick felt at home under the spotlight as soon as he stepped into it. "Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change. If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same." He sang, and he couldn't help but look to Jeff as he did so. "So, don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say-"

The Warblers came in for the chorus, but Nick still held the main part, and he smiled wider when Jeff caught him looking. "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, 'cause you're amazing, just the way you are. And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, 'cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are."

The song rounded out with a harmony as usual, fading out as the audience applauded. Nick grinned, stepping back into line as their other song began, catching Jeff's eye again and subtly brushing his fingers over his own heart, meant to say 'I love you'. Jeff got the message, copying the motion, and Nick got caught up in their second song. It had been Jeff's idea to do Stereo Hearts, and everyone had eventually agreed, though it wasn't their normal type of song. Thad was happy to do the rap, and it spotlighted some Warblers that didn't usually get performance solos, like Jeff's dancing, as well as some other Warblers that joined in on Jeff's choreography behind him.

He did perfectly, and the crowd loved it, it was definitely new for the Warblers to do something like this and Jeff was always charming. When it finished, they all joined hands and bowed, filing offstage and waiting to goof off until they were out of sight. "We killed that!" Jeff cheered, pumping his fist until everyone else joined in, making noise and hugging eachother until their chaperone made them quiet down again. Just a few minutes later, they were back on stage again along with the other teams, waiting for their results. Jeff was squeezing Nick's hand hard enough to break it, but Nick didn't mind.

"I'm sure you're all eager to know who the winner of this year's competition is, so let's get right into it." The judge was monotonous, but the teams were still buzzing with energy anyways, waiting with baited breath. "In third place, the Clef Hangers!" A student came forward and accepted the trophy, Jeff flashing Nick an excited smile. "And now, the moment you've been waiting for…" Nick closed his eyes, holding his breath. "In first place- the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

Jeff cheered first, and everyone was quick to follow, Blaine stepping forward to receive their trophy and everyone moving around him excitedly. They stayed cheering even as they walked off stage, everyone congratulating eachother and grappling to hold the trophy. "You won that for us. I'm convinced." Jeff held Nick to his side, smiling so big Nick could hardly kiss him.

"No, it was you."

"No, it was me." Kurt teased, pushing Jeff's shoulder. "Get a room."

"Gladly." Jeff laughed, squeezing Nick tight. He wanted Jeff to always be this happy.

Thad, now holding the trophy, got everyone's attention. "Let's celebrate at my house?"

Everyone clapped, and they piled back onto their bus, Jeff and Nick sitting together and Jeff pulling Nick's legs into his lap. "You did so amazing, seriously. I'm the luckiest guy to have the most talented boyfriend."

Nick laughed, taking his hands. "I actually have the most talented boyfriend."

"God, we are so sappy, everyone must hate us."

"We do!" A few Warblers said in unison, and Jeff dissolved into laughter, resting against Nick's side.

"Haters are our motivators!" Jeff called, kissing Nick's cheek.

Nick brushed Jeff's hair back and smiled a little. He didn't want to think that this was the last time Jeff would be on the competition bus with them all. "If you join choir at your new school, we'll be competitors."

Jeff looked up, biting his lip. "That could be kind of hot, right?"

He laughed softly, shrugging. "I guess so." He knew Jeff would rather make jokes than talk about it, so he let it be. Eventually, Jeff fell asleep on him, as it was a long ride and Jeff always fell asleep if he was still for too long. They won. Today was a good day. But Jeff was still leaving. And it was always in the back of Nick's mind.

* * *

"God, time has really flown by, huh?"

Warblers rehearsal had been replaced with a pizza party today. It was the last day before Christmas break. Jeff's last day at Dalton. "Way too fast." Jeff agreed with David, leaning his head on Nick's shoulder. While usually, pizza and teenage boys made for a happy group, the mood was sullen.

"You'll like McKinley." Kurt said to Jeff, who raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you have to leave there because of homophobes?"

Kurt breathed in. "Yeah. Just trying to lighten the mood."

Jeff nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry." He smiled a little. "I'll be fine there. I'll just… miss you guys."

"We'll all be in touch all the time." Trent offered. "And we can skype during Warblers rehearsals-"

"Not during competition rehearsals, though." Blaine cut in.

Jeff's lip trembled. "Oh, Blaine. I'm gonna miss you being a tightass." He enveloped Blaine in a hug, eyes brimming with tears. Blaine had to laugh, tearing up as well as he returned the hug.

The pizza party turned into everyone reminiscing on times they'd had with Jeff, from his extravagant auditions to all the shit he did when he got drunk at house parties. Eventually, attention fell to Nick. "What are your favorite memories?" Jeff asked him, searching his face.

Nick took a deep breath, smiling a little. "Every second I spend with you is memorable." A mixture of awe's and booing filled the room, Jeff laughing as he kissed him. "My favorite memory has to be when you tried to prank your Algebra teacher and got caught so easily." Nick said, though this was a lie. It wasn't his favorite memory. It was just the easiest memory to talk about without crying.

Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "Who knew trying to smuggle five birds into the school would become such a spectacle?"

Nick drew him closer and laughed with everyone else, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Conversation died down eventually, pizza gone and everyone realizing that this was the end now. "Jeff, as a council member, I want to personally say a few words about how you've helped the team." Wes began, but Jeff shook his head.

"Actually, if it's alright, I want to do something for you guys." Jeff smiled a little, standing and grabbing a stool from the corner of the room, as well as one of the guitars they had laying around that Jeff always toyed with. "I may have made a small impact on this team. But you guys have made a much bigger impact on me." Nick swallowed. Don't cry. "You guys made me feel accepted. Wanted. You are all my family." He looked around at each of them, holding Nick's gaze a little longer. "You never gave up on me. And I just hope that I did the same for all of you. And that you'll remember me when I'm not here to fill your lockers with Silly String or serenade you in the hallway."

The Warblers laughed in that sad sort of way, remembering those times. Jeff began the song, playing the first notes slow, and as the Warblers recognized it, they chimed in with a subtle harmony. "Won't you come see about me, I'll be alone, dancing you know it, baby." Jeff sang, winking at the mention of his dancing, and it was the perfect song choice for him. "Tell me your troubles and doubts, giving me everything inside and out." He stood, looking to Nick with a smile. "Love's strange, surreal in the dark. Think of the tender things that we've been working on. Slow change may pull us apart, when the light gets into your heart, baby."

Nick couldn't stop the tears now, not bothering to wipe them as Jeff continued. He ceased to play the guitar at the chorus, the Warblers filled in the background fully. "Don't you forget about me. Don't you forget about me."

 _Will you stand above me_

 _Look my way, never love me_

 _Rain keeps falling_

 _Rain keeps falling_

 _Down, down, down_

 _Will you recognize me_

 _Call my name or walk on by_

 _Rain keeps falling_

 _Rain keeps falling_

 _Down, down, down_

Jeff made a point to go to each Warbler and hug them as he sang. "Don't you forget about me, I'll be alone, dancing you know it, baby. Going to take you apart, I'll put us back together at heart, baby."

The background began to fade out, and Jeff put his guitar down, his voice the only one in the room as he sang the last lines. "As you walk on by, will you call my name?" He got to Nick last, taking his hands. "As you walk on by, will you call my name?" He kissed his hands, going to the steps of the common room. "When you walk away, will you walk away, will you walk on by, come on call my name." He finished, and tears were rolling down his face just like everyone else's, though he still wore a smile. "I was going to walk out on that note, but I don't want to leave." He admitted, laughing through his tears, and they pulled him into a hug, sandwiched between everyone.

Nick wiped his own eyes and kept him close at the center of the circle. He looked around and tried to memorize every detail of the scene. He didn't want things to change. But change was inevitable. Looking at Jeff, he knew that things would be tough. But they'd get through. They had to. He kissed him, not caring that everyone was around, and they didn't care either. He knew this wasn't like the last time he'd see him. He'd probably see him tomorrow. But it was that end of the world moment again. Things were going to be different when he came back here. He only hoped that not all change was negative.

* * *

 **End of an era, but start of an age. Their story is definitely not over, and I'll try to get an update up as soon as possible. Next chapter will bring some new stuff, mixing things up a bit (: I referenced the songs Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes, Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars, and Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds.**

 **Leave reviews on your thoughts and what you liked! Sorry to leave this chapter on a sad note, I won't leave you guys here too long.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hopefully the wait wasn't too long on this one (: Not much to say up here, enjoy! I don't own Glee, y'all know the drill.**

* * *

Christmas break was a blur. Nick had been assigned a ton of homework, and because Jeff hadn't been at his new school to receive break assignments, he got off the hook with no homework. This meant Nick spent most of break at Jeff's house doing homework while Jeff tried to convince him to take a break to make out. (He only caved twice).

They also celebrated their one year anniversary, which was on Christmas. They agreed they weren't going to do gifts for either event, but they both got eachother something anyways. Jeff had gotten Nick a pin for his blazer, a small music note with their initials in tiny lettering on the bar. And Nick had gotten Jeff a Dalton sweatshirt and a navy and red striped guitar pick, something to remember the school by. They didn't go out for the day or anything, they spent it hanging out as they normally did, they both liked that better. Wrapped up in eachother on the couch watching Netflix seemed like the perfect day to him.

Somewhere in the middle of their marathon of Scandal, Jeff looked at Nick seriously. "Nick, I want to raise a cat with you."

Nick laughed, looking away from the TV. "Parents after only a year of dating?" He teased, Jeff resting his head on his chest.

"Think about it. A little guy we can pick out and name and take care of. We can keep him here. And then you'll have an excuse to come over."

Nick brushed Jeff's hair back. "You're my excuse to come over."

Jeff smiled a little. "He can keep me company when you're at school."

His smile fell slightly. "I won't leave you lonely. I'm going to come home a lot."

He shrugged. "You'll be busy. And that's okay, I don't expect you to come home a ton. A cat just sounds nice."

"It does." Nick bit his lip. "Let's do it."

"Really?" Jeff looked at him hopefully.

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, let's."

Jeff kissed him. "Amazing. This will be perfect."

Nick nodded, rubbing his back. "You're perfect."

"No time for sappiness, we're getting a cat!" Jeff jumped up, grabbing a coat and hat from the rack and stepping into his boots. Nick followed, smiling at Jeff's enthusiasm.

"Should we ask Amy?"

"Nah, she'd love a cat." Jeff nodded, going outside with him. "Especially if it's a rescue."

"We're getting a rescue?" Nick raised his eyebrows as they got in the car, Jeff starting the engine and letting it heat up.

"Well, I would like to." He laughed. "What do you think?"

Nick was about to protest, those cats were more likely to have health issues, right? But then he remembered that night at the park again, where Jeff had found that stray cat and cried because he couldn't bear to think of someone abandoning it. "Yeah, I like that."

Jeff smiled, heading towards the local animal shelter. "I already have a million ideas for names."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Nick laughed, shaking his head.

By the time they arrived, their excitement had increased. Getting a pet together, that was serious. And while normally Nick was scared of things like that, this was different. He'd marry Jeff tomorrow if he could. He had no doubt in his mind Jeff was the one he wanted to be with forever. "I might want to get every cat we see so just restrain me, okay?" Jeff walked in with him, instantly melting before they even passed the front desk. "Nick, we need to adopt them all. The puppies too."

Nick rolled his eyes, laughing as he followed him. "Amy wouldn't be pleased."

Jeff was too distracted to be disheartened, breathing out as he knelt in front of one of the cages. "Look at him."

Nick joined him in kneeling in front of the crate, smiling when the cat lifted its paw to the grating and meowed at them. "He's adorable."

"He's only a year old." One of the employees piped up, and Jeff looked over at her.

"Yeah? How long has he been here?"

"A month." She smiled sadly. "He has a few health conditions that are making people wary to adopt him. He was declawed in his infancy, and the surgery left him with a limp. And a bit of past trauma with his owners makes him a little skittish."

Jeff looked back to the cat, touching his finger to where his paw was on the grate. "Can I hold him?"

She nodded, unlocking the cage and setting the cat in Jeff's lap. It was a grey cat, with soft fur and a few patches of white. He did have a bit of a limp, walking near Jeff but not getting too close, looking around at the various little movements and noises at the shelter. "Does he have a name?"

"His given name is Leo, but a lot of owners rename their pets." She smiled gently. "I'll leave you two alone." She went back to the desk, leaving the pair with the cat.

"Here, little guy. Come here." Jeff said softly, showing the cat his hand before slowly brushing his fingers over his back. The cat moved at first, but then came closer to Jeff's hand, rubbing against it. Jeff smiled widely, looking to Nick. "He likes me."

Nick smiled, also petting the cat lightly, watching as it came a little closer. "He does."

They spent a few minutes fawning over him, and then Jeff bit his lip against a smile. "He seems like the one."

Nick nodded. Jeff was right. "He doesn't look like a Leo though. He'll need a new name."

Jeff thought, scratching its ears gently. "Nicholas." He teased, and Nick laughed.

"No way. How about… Warbler?"

Jeff brightened, tilting his head. "I like that. But if we tell the Warblers we named him after them, their egos will get way too big. We need something close, but not exact." He looked up in thought, then smiled. "Bird."

"You want to name our cat, Bird?" Nick laughed, crossing his arms. "I'm dating a crazy person."

"It's perfect!" Jeff laughed. "A subtle nod to the Warblers, and it's also kinda weird, you know? Out of the ordinary. Special, like this little guy."

"And like you." Nick smiled, Jeff grinning.

"That too."

He blew a breath out. "Alright, fine. Bird it is."

Jeff leaned over to kiss him, smiling wide. "This is amazing." They filled out the paperwork to adopt him, and they even had pet supplies available to buy there, so picked up a collar, a food and water bowl, and some dry food. They got back in the car, Nick holding Bird on his lap carefully, trying not to spook or hurt him. "Look at us. We're a family." Jeff said, and Nick smiled to himself.

Sitting there, their cat in his lap and Jeff's hand on his knee as they drove home, they were their own little family. And it would only grow from here.

* * *

Returning to Dalton felt strange. Usually he and Jeff made the trip up together. Today it was Michael driving him back, suitcases stowed where Jeff would usually sit. "Are you ready to be back?" Michael asked as they drove, and Nick shrugged.

"I guess. It won't feel the same without Jeff there."

"Mom and Dad offered to pay for him." Michael pointed out, and Nick sighed.

"He doesn't want to be there because of someone else's handout. He wants to get there himself."

Michael nodded, conceding. "Well, he's gonna re-apply for senior year, right?"

Nick nodded. "He says he is." He had insisted Jeff re-apply. He'd gotten in once, he could do it again. Jeff had agreed, but seemed discouraged. He couldn't blame him.

"I'm sure he'll get in again. He could write an essay about overcoming adversity, or getting over obstacles to get back, or something like that. They'll eat it up."

Nick thought about that. It was true, Dalton might lean towards a special case like Jeff to put on scholarship again. "Maybe."

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Michael helping unload his bags before giving him a brief hug and leaving. Nick gripped his suitcases and sighed, looking up at the towering school. He could do this.

* * *

His and Sebastian's room was pretty much exactly as he'd left it, and it only took Nick a few minutes to put all his clothes back in the closet and unload the laundry he'd brought with him. Sebastian walked in on the phone, giving Nick a quick wave and returning to his conversation before Nick could respond. Sebastian must've gotten there a while ago, his closet was full and his empty suitcase under the bed.

Luckily, it was Sunday night, so Nick could settle in before classes tomorrow. He got in bed with his laptop, intending to Skype Jeff, but Sebastian had hung up the phone and was looking at him expectantly. "Welcome back."

Nick nodded a little. "You too."

Sebastian leaned back on his hands elbows on his bed. "So Jeff's gone?"

"I don't know how you hear about this stuff." Nick muttered, shaking his head. "Yeah, he's home."

"That sucks." Sebastian said, and Nick couldn't help but snap.

"It shouldn't make a difference for you. You were never his friend." He felt a little guilty for being harsh, but it was true, and he was in a bad mood given the circumstances.

Sebastian shrugged. "Guess not. But I know how much it hurts to be away from someone you love."

Nick kept his eyes on his computer, logging into Skype. "I have a hard time believing you've ever loved anything."

He laughed a little. "Fine. I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me. I just want you to know- I can talk, if you need it."

"I don't." Nick said, and Sebastian nodded.

"Alright."

After a pause, Nick glanced to him. "Thanks." He muttered, Sebastian only nodding again before leaving the room. Nick sighed, looking back to his computer and finding Jeff's name, clicking on the icon to video chat. He waited while it rang, and smiled when Jeff answered it in just two rings.

"Hi beautiful." Jeff smiled, waving.

"Hi." Nick waved back. "Am I allowed to say I miss you already?" Jeff had helped him pack earlier, which had ended up in kissing on Nick's clothes strewn over the bed.

Jeff laughed. "You are. I miss you too."

Nick smiled. "You haven't missed much here yet. Just the beginnings of another awkward semester with Sebastian as my roommate."

Jeff frowned sympathetically. "Have you met Max's new roommate? Is he better than me? Max says no, but I don't trust him."

"I met him, he's much better, he's my new boyfriend." Nick put his hand over his heart, Jeff flipping him off.

"Liar!"

Nick laughed. "I haven't met him yet, but when I do I will report back to you with full detail."

"Thank you." Jeff laughed, leaning back into his pillows and yawning. "It feels weird to be home when everyone's at Dalton."

Nick also adjusted to be more comfortable. "Yeah, it's not the same." Already, Dalton felt different without him, and he'd only been back an hour. "Are you nervous to start at McKinley tomorrow?"

Jeff shrugged. "Kind of. Kurt said he talked to some of his old McKinley friends about me and that they'll show me around and stuff."

"And you'll definitely get into their show choir." Nick added. "They're a lot different than the Warblers. More room for your freestyle."

Jeff smiled, doing a little dance the best he could laying down. "Well that's good. I'll let you know how it goes after tomorrow."

"I'll be waiting to hear from you." He said softly, pulling his covers up more and sighing. "Hey, look on the bright side. You don't have to wear a tie anymore."

Jeff smiled. "I'm pumped. Luckily, those ties won't go to waste. Next time you visit-"

"Okay, no talking dirty when we're hours apart." Nick covered his ears, laughing as Jeff pouted. "We should probably get to sleep early. Early day tomorrow."

Jeff groaned. "Babe. Let's be irresponsible and talk all night."

"I won't let you be a bad influence on me." Nick stuck his tongue out at him. "I'm gonna hang up, and we're both going to get lots of rest."

"You're evil."

He blew him a kiss. "Goodnight."

Jeff pretended to catch it and hold it to his heart. "Goodnight, my love. I'll miss you every second you're gone." He said dramatically.

Nick smiled, waving. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jeff waved back, and they did hang up, though Nick really didn't want to. He put his laptop on the bedside table and settled into his blankets, breathing in deeply. One day down, five months to go. But who's counting?

* * *

They kept up with their Skype calls, trying to do it at least three times a week, and keeping in touch through text and calls too.

After a couple weeks, Jeff said he actually liked his new school. For the most part. He'd joined glee club and made friends that he already seemed close with, and joined the basketball team. He kept busy, and at home he was Aaron and Jason's full time babysitter, but if it bothered him, he didn't let on. Nick kept busy too. Because the Warblers had won Sectionals, their rehearsals got longer and more intense. Nick loved that, he wished they were even longer. He really wanted to win. Sadly, though, despite his solo at Sectionals, Nick didn't have any solo parts for Regionals. Blaine sang two songs lead, and then one duet with Kurt. Of course, Nick was happy for them, but he was frustrated. He thought he'd done well last time. He didn't want to be just another ensemble member again.

He ranted about it to Jeff on one of their Skype calls after he came from rehearsal. "It's not that I don't think Kurt and Blaine deserve solos. They do, they're talented. But- I don't know. I think I can keep up with them vocally and no one's giving me a chance to."

Jeff frowned. "Of course you can. Your solo last competition was one of the reasons we won. The council should be giving you more time to shine."

"Is it greedy, though? To want to have solos? I don't want to take them away from Kurt and Blaine, it's not like they _don't_ work hard-"

"Listen, you're too humble." Jeff shook his head. "You're talented. The Warblers just- they always play it safe. Blaine usually gets the solos, and he wins competitions, so they never change it up. Even when there's people just as deserving of that chance."

Nick shrugged. "I guess you're right." He sighed. "What do I do, though?"

Jeff thought, tilting his head. "Talk to Blaine about it, maybe."

"I don't know." Nick sighed again. "Just come over and kiss me, then I'll feel better and forget the whole thing ever happened."

Jeff smiled, leaning in and kissing the webcam. "I can't believe I haven't kissed you in seventeen days. That's a new record."

"I'm coming home this weekend." Nick nodded. "Then you can make up for all the days we missed."

Jeff laughed. "I hope you're planning on spending the entire weekend with me, then."

"I am." Nick promised, then looked up as Sebastian entered the room.

"Good, because after three weeks of not seeing you I'm gonna do so much more than kiss you-" Jeff started, and Nick blushed.

"Hi Sebastian." He said loudly, and Jeff covered his mouth, laughing on his end of the video chat.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I don't care if you sexy Skype, you're forgetting I've seen your boyfriend's dick."

Jeff made a face on the screen, Nick angling the computer away from Sebastian. "I haven't forgotten, you love bringing it up." Nick muttered.

"Fair. Hey, have you seen the new kid?" Sebastian asked, unfazed.

Nick sighed, wishing Sebastian would leave so he could get back to talking to Jeff. "No."

"He's gorgeous. Word on the street is he's straight as an arrow, but I think once I get him to spend some time with me things will change."

"What's his name?" Jeff asked, and Nick gave him a look for encouraging him.

"Hunter Clarington."

"Sounds like a hot guy name." Jeff nodded, and Nick rolled his eyes.

"Are you guys ever not thinking with your dicks?"

"No." Sebastian and Jeff both said, and Nick slumped against his headboard in defeat.

"I'll let you guys finish jacking off. I'm gonna go introduce myself to Hunter." Sebastian left with that.

Nick looked back to the webcam. "Do you think I can survive the rest of the semester living with this guy?"

"I believe in you." Jeff nodded.

Nick brushed his fingers over his keyboard absently. "What would we be doing now if you were here?"

Jeff looked at the time. "Let's see, five o'clock on a Tuesday? You'd be starting your homework, I'd be using your laptop to take selfies on PhotoBooth."

Nick laughed, closing his eyes to picture the scene. Jeff in his bed while Nick was at the desk, only managing to get a quarter of his homework done before he joined Jeff in playing with the filters on his webcam, dissolving into giggles when their faces distorted and swirled around eachother. "Sounds perfect."

"I'm actually super awesome at doing my homework now." Jeff smiled. "Turns out when you're not here, I'm a lot less distracted." He teased.

"Please, you're the one always trying to distract me!" Nick protested, laughing.

"Because you're so gorgeous I just think about kissing you all day and it's so hard to get work done when my boyfriend is right next to me looking all perfect and kissable." Jeff said, and Nick bit his lip against his smile.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't visit this weekend so you can get your homework done."

Jeff gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I would." He tilted his head. "But you're actually pretty kissable too. So I might make an exception and come over."

"You'd better." He heard one of Jeff's brothers calling for him, and Jeff sighed. "I gotta go be a stay at home dad."

Nick nodded. "Have fun. I love you."

"Love you back." Jeff kissed his webcam again before hanging up, Nick switching tabs to work on his homework. Three more days until he saw Jeff.

* * *

"Alright Warblers, today's meeting kicks off with an audition." David tapped the gavel against the table, Nick perking up a little. He enjoyed watching auditions, and getting new members would be a good thing. They needed some fresh faces for their upcoming competition, newcomers usually brought up morale in the group. Besides, he was already in a good mood, because he left tonight to stay at Jeff's for the weekend, and it had been twenty days apart.

Before David could continue his introduction, the boy stepped through the doors, his hands folded in front of him like a lieutenant. "Hello, I'm Hunter Clarington. I'm from upstate New York, and I am a junior. I don't have a heavy background in show choir, but I am a quick learner, a hard worker, and I take my extracurriculars very seriously."

Nick saw some Warblers raising eyebrows, and he knew if Jeff were here he'd be laughing openly. This was the new kid Sebastian had mentioned, and he'd been right, he was pretty good looking. But he also seemed pretty intense. Wes nodded and glanced around the room. "Alright. You can start whenever you're ready."

Hunter cleared his throat, then sang a somber sounding song that Nick didn't recognize. He had a good voice, but Nick also thought there was a possibility he could be a robot. He'd discuss it with Jeff tonight,

When he finished, the Warblers clapped, and Wes gave him a smile. "Thank you. We'll let you know on Monday."

"Thank you." Hunter bowed his head, and left without anything further. If Jeff had been there, he would've started the robot theory conversation. But he wasn't, so they moved on, diving back into rehearsal.

Nick gave his all, as usual, but the council didn't announce anymore solo parts for Regionals. He sighed as he left. That was okay. His time would come. As he walked back to his dorm, he took out his phone to text Jeff, and in the process, bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry-" He looked up, tilting his head. "Hey, Hunter."

Hunter gave him a nod. "Nicholas."

Nick kept walking, only realizing a second later that Hunter had said his name. "How did you know that?" He looked back at him, Hunter moving to walk alongside him.

"Oh, I do my research."

Nick blinked, laughing a little. "You know that sounds extremely creepy, right?"

Hunter shook his head. "It shouldn't. I want to know the people I'm going to be working with. I'm a military kid, I transfer schools faster than the Kardashians make headlines. If I don't know my peers, I just get swept up into the school like dust."

Nick shrugged. "I guess that makes sense." It sort of did, in a weird, overly driven kind of way. "Well, a lot of the time, people will tell you their name if you just ask them, believe it or not."

Hunter nodded. "I get the sarcasm. But I like to figure things out on my own. Especially in getting to know the people that are my competition."

"We're on the same team." Nick looked to him with a laugh, and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Obviously. But to think that takes the competition out of it is naïve. Everyone who is wanting the same solos as you are your competition."

Nick frowned. "Yeah, but they're also my friends. It's not really like that."

Hunter lifted his shoulders a bit, brushing him off. "Maybe that's the reason they overlook you for solos. You're okay with being walked over."

Nick looked at him indignantly. "I am not. How would you even know that?"

"I told you, I do my research." Hunter shook his head. "I saw the tape of your last competition. You had a solo part, you were really good. But they're still using the same soloists over and over again."

He stayed silent, thinking about it. "Well- okay, yeah. They do have some favorites. But it's not like there's anything I can do, what the council says goes."

"Wow." Hunter whistled. "That's disappointing. You're more of a pushover than I thought."

Nick reddened, crossing his arms and stopping in the hall. "If you really think I'm good, why are you encouraging me to speak out for solos? That just makes me more competition for you."

"Exactly." Hunter pointed at him like he'd scored a correct answer. "I thrive off competition. I need it to keep things interesting, and the Warblers won't keep me entertained if I have nothing to work for. I need someone to beat."

Something flared in his stomach. He wasn't a pushover. And there was no way he was going to let someone totally new waltz into the group and take the parts Nick had been working towards for years. "Keep in mind you haven't gotten in yet." Nick reminded him, walking away, but then turning to look at him. "And you're not going to beat me. If you think you can, clearly your research isn't as good as you thought it was." He left Hunter standing there, going towards his dorm with new energy in his step. He wasn't going to be overlooked anymore. He was going to take charge. He was going to say what he wanted, not wait for people to give him chances.

* * *

When Nick got to Jeff's house that night, he was still high off of his new attitude. Jeff had texted him that Amy would be working the late shift that night, and it worked out well, as Nick didn't make it over until around nine PM. Aaron and Jason were asleep, so Jeff had said to let himself in quietly, and Nick did, going to Jeff's bedroom.

"Finally." Jeff looked up as he entered, smile wide as he got up from his desk to pull Nick close. Nick beat him to it, taking his waist and kissing him deeply. Jeff wrapped his arms around him and kissed back, still smiling against his mouth. "Mm, not even a hello?"

"No time." Nick kissed him, running his hands down Jeff's chest. "We should get on the bed."

Jeff agreed, getting into bed with him and never breaking apart. "Wow, three weeks apart is about to be so worth it." He teased, and Nick held Jeff's hands down against the mattress when they started to wander. Take control, that's how he would get ahead in life.

"No talking until I say you can." He said, testing it out. Jeff raised his eyebrows with a smile.

"You finally read Fifty Shades of Grey."

Nick blushed. "No. Quiet." He covered Jeff's mouth and shifted on top of him. "I know what I want. No messing around." It felt weird to try on this new persona, he was trying to give orders and they felt like hesitations. He felt Jeff laugh under his palm, and he retracted it. "What are you laughing at?"

"You."

Nick sat up, getting off him as he felt his face turn red. "Oh, thanks."

"No, stop." Jeff sat up as well, taking his hand. "I'm totally turned on, I promise. Everytime you're on top of me I'm putty in your hands." Nick looked to the floor as Jeff rubbed his arm. "But- this doesn't seem like you."

Nick groaned, ducking his head. "That's the problem!"

"What do you mean?" Jeff frowned, moving closer to him.

"I'm a pushover." Nick muttered, glancing to him.

Jeff tilted his head. "Where did you get that idea? You're not a pushover."

Nick got up, pacing back and forth. "I am. I never speak up in the Warblers when they hand all the solos to everyone else. I still let Sebastian get to me and I don't tell him to stop saying the things he knows bother me. I don't tell my parents how it hurts when they don't go to my competitions. I let-"

"Nick, stop this." Jeff held out his hands for Nick to take. "This is crazy talk. You're not a pushover." Nick took his hands, but didn't look at him. "You don't demand solos in the Warblers because you're humble, not because you're weak. You don't tell off Sebastian everytime he makes stupid comments because you're mature enough to let it go. And you don't tell your parents what upsets you because you know they won't listen. Look at me." Nick finally met his gaze, and Jeff squeezed his hands. "Don't mistake kindness for weakness, right?"

Nick sighed, sinking beside him on the bed again, leaning into his side. "I'm just tired of it. I don't want to be the bigger person. I want to yell that I'm working just as hard as everyone else and I want to be recognized, and I want to scream at my parents that they've been hurting me since before I could remember by being so ignorant, and I want to- I don't know. I want to feel like I have some control in my life."

Jeff combed his fingers through his hair as he spoke, pausing to consider Nick's words. "You could punch Sebastian again."

He couldn't help but laugh, burying his face in Jeff's shoulder to hide it. "That was a one time thing."

Jeff smiled, kissing the top of Nick's head. "Damn." They sat in silence for a while, Nick calming down and Jeff playing with Nick's hair. "You know, you can take control of your life without having to yell or be aggressive about it. Talk to David and Wes, tell them why you're frustrated. They'll listen, they know you're talented and sometimes those guys just need a nudge in the right direction. And Sebastian will back off if you tell him he's really bothering you, I think he wants to be your friend. He thinks the sort of stuff he says is funny. And with your parents, you can make little strides. Start by inviting Michael, he'll go. And ask your parents too, but tell them how much it would mean to you. They'll realize what they've been missing."

Nick kissed Jeff's hand softly. "You give really good advice, you know."

"No, I just know you." Jeff smiled. "I love you, okay? _This_ you. I like that you're humble, and that you care about people. I like that you're not just some machine that is set on getting everything it wants. I like my Nick."

"I like my Jeff."

"Let's save the kinky sex for tomorrow, then, Mr. Grey." Jeff teased gently, getting under the covers with him. Nick laughed, blushing as he laid down beside him. "Tell me about your day until I get sleepy."

"Oh, is my life that boring?" Nick chuckled, and Jeff pushed his shoulder.

"Hush. I just like the sound of your voice."

Nick smiled, leaning in to kiss him. "Fine. I met the new kid today. I have a theory he's a robot."

Jeff closed his eyes, sighing contentedly. "Amazing. Explain."

Nick told him about his audition and run in with him, Jeff offering comments and jokes until he started drifting off, Nick lowering his voice until he fell asleep. He wasn't quite tired yet, and he didn't mind just listening to the sound of Jeff's breathing, it had been so long since he had gotten to sleep beside him. By the time he finally slept, he felt at ease. Things would work out. He was glad he had Jeff to keep him sane. He cuddled close in his sleep. Not having him at school had been putting him on edge. But laying beside him, he felt that all was right in the world.

* * *

Morning came, and Nick and Jeff played with Bird while Amy made breakfast. Jeff cradled Bird in his lap and coached Nick through being assertive, which so far had gotten them nowhere. "So here's what you're going to say. Wes, I respect the decisions that you and the council have made, but you're on some bullshit if you think-" Nick gave him a look, and Jeff switched tactics. "-but I've been working hard and I think I deserve a shot."

Nick sighed, rubbing Bird's head. "I'll try it."

"The Warblers vote on things, right?" Amy piped up, serving breakfast at the counter. "Ask them to bring it to a vote. I'm sure there are other people that feel how you do."

"That's a good idea." Nick considered, going to the counter. "Thanks, Amy."

Amy ruffled his hair. "You're talented. They'll see it."

Jeff smiled, kissing his cheek and also tousling his hair. "We're your biggest fans. I'm gonna get us shirts that say 'We 3 Nick Duval'. Bird can get one too."

Nick laughed, shaking his head. "I appreciate the support." Amy smiled and disappeared to make sure Aaron and Jason were getting ready to go their friend's house.

"They're gonna need you to solo, because the New Directions aren't half bad. Competition's stiff." Jeff grinned, and Nick shook his head.

"I've been selfish. Tell me all about New Directions."

Jeff smiled. "Well, I can't give too much away. I'm already guilty of fraternizing with the enemy." He teased, Nick rolling his eyes. "It's fun. It's a lot different than the Warblers. Everyone kinda just does what they want."

Nick scrunched his nose. "I don't think I'd like that."

Jeff laughed. "Maybe not. I like it, though. Everyone's been nice. The people in Glee, at least."

"Have other people been giving you a hard time?" Nick frowned, his heart fluttering a bit with anxiety. Kurt had said the kids there could be mean. Jeff had never mentioned anything like that, though.

"No, no." He shrugged. "They're just not- I don't know. People outside of that club aren't really dying to be friends with the people in it. That's a big difference from the Warblers. At Dalton, we were like… the most prestigious group at school. The New Directions are like the school's leftovers. But it's cool, to be part of something that's different."

Nick smiled a little. "You've always been unique."

Jeff kissed him, returning the smile. "You'd like them. There's this one guy, Mike, who is a really great dancer. I get to dance a lot more." He laughed. "And this girl Brittany who dances too, she's super sweet. The teacher's creepy, though. I get the feeling the club is the product of a midlife crisis."

Nick listened to him talk about the club and his friends, and the more he listened the more he realized how much he'd missed him. The easy conversation, the way he made him laugh, how just a touch could put a smile back on Nick's face. "I love you." He interrupted him in the middle of him telling a story about Rachel and Finn re-making up, Jeff pausing with a laugh.

"I love you back."

Nick breathed out, smiling. "Okay. Continue."

"You're a weirdo." Jeff laughed, launching back into his story. Nick wished this weekend could stretch on forever. He wasn't ready to leave again.

* * *

Monday came too fast, but Nick was ready. He entered his dorm when he arrived back at school early that morning, keeping Jeff's advice in his head. After rehearsal today, he'd catch Wes and David and tell them what he thought. He was going to stand up for himself and Hunter would sure as hell get a taste of that competition he wanted so bad-

"Hey." Sebastian was at his desk, putting his books into his bag. "Cutting first period?"

"No, we got stuck in traffic on the way back." Nick shook his head. "And if you're here, t means you're cutting it too."

"Well, yeah." Sebastian shrugged. "Good weekend? How's Jeff?"

Nick breathed in, shrugging. "He's fine."

"That's all?" Sebastian tilted his head, and Nick called on Jeff's advice as he turned to him.

"I actually don't want to talk about Jeff with you." He said simply. "You're invasive and petty about it, and I'm sick of you dragging up the past."

Sebastian whistled, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Damn. You guys must not have banged this weekend, you're tight-"

"Sebastian-" Nick started, but he waved him off.

"I know. I get it. I'll back off. It's just so easy to get you going, sometimes I can't help it." Sebastian went to the door. "I'm happy he's with you. You're good for him."

Nick fell silent, not expecting that answer. "Thanks." He finally said, and Sebastian nodded, saluting as he walked out. Nick sat on his bed, smiling a little. There. He'd been assertive, and it had went well. He could do this. He unpacked the bag he'd packed for the weekend and went to class, waiting for rehearsal.

It seemed to take years until rehearsal came, and Nick felt just slightly on edge as they practiced. Half of it was nerves to talk to the council, and half of it was Hunter. Hunter had made the cut and was subsequently at rehearsal, taking every opportunity to watch Nick closely. It was as irritating as it was motivating. He wanted to show Hunter what he could do. Wes called a meeting at the end to go over the setlist for Regionals, and Nick had a fleeting burst of confidence. He shouldn't wait to tell Wes and David after rehearsal. He should bring it up now, see what everyone else though and let them weigh in too. His hand raised clumsily, he hadn't even expected to raise it. Wes looked to him, pausing mid-sentence. "Nick? Is there something you want to say?"

He cleared his throat, nodding. "Yes." He said, as surely as he could. Hunter, who was sitting across from him, raised his eyebrows. "I think the songs for the setlist are great choices." He began, keeping his voice steady. "But I feel… I feel as if giving the solo parts immediately to Blaine may be a bit of an oversight to other members in the club."

Wes blinked, glancing to David. Blaine spoke up quickly. "I definitely agree. Everyone in here is talented-"

"Everyone in here is talented, yes." David agreed, interrupting him. "But we know what wins competitions, and Blaine has the most experience with solos. If we want to go to Nationals, we can't afford to change things up."

Nick pressed on. "I have worked really, really hard to prove I'm capable of handling a solo, even a small part, and I'm sure everyone in here can say the same. I think there should be auditions for solos for each song. It's just- it's not fair." He quickly looked to Blaine. "Not that you don't deserve the solos you've gotten."

Blaine shook his head. "No, I get it. I think it's a good idea."

"Me too." Kurt chimed in. "At McKinley, we did our best when we shined the light on everyone, not just one person."

A few other Warblers agreed, and Wes tapped the gavel against the table. "Guys, I see where you're coming from. But Blaine knows what he's doing-"

"Council, if I may?" Hunter spoke then, and Nick bit his lip. Fuck. Hunter wasn't going to support him. But then he surprised him. "Blaine joined right around the same time as most juniors here did, correct?" Hunter glanced over to Blaine. "I took the liberty of peeking at your file."

Blaine looked confused, but nodded. "Yeah, that's right."

"So, if you truly wanted to go based on experience, you'd pick a senior." Hunter continued. "Clearly, this is not a matter of who has been here the longest. It's playing a favorite. I think Nick should get a solo. I also think Trent should, and Miles." Hunter nodded to each of them, Nick watching Trent and Miles stutter in protest. "Those are your best, underrated voices."

"We should do an audition-" Nick protested, but Blaine was already agreeing with Hunter.

"Show choir critics already scrutinize us for being too stuck in tradition. I think switching it up will be a good tactic."

Kurt made a face. "There are show choir critics?"

Blaine nodded. "The show choir blogs are full of them, I've told you to check in on them." Kurt rolled his eyes, but kissed his cheek, smiling at how dorky he could be. It made Nick miss Jeff.

"All in favor of Nick, Trent, and Miles getting solos at Regionals?" Hunter spoke, and most raised their hands immediately, the others following suit after glancing to Wes and David to see their thoughts.

Wes looked a little wary, tapping the gavel. "The council is supposed to call the votes." There was a stretch of silence, hands still raised, before Wes sighed. "But I have to agree. You might be on to something here." Wes and David raised their hands, and Nick felt a grin blossom on his face instantly.

"Next meeting, we'll discuss this further. Rehearsal adjourned." David dismissed them with the gavel, and Nick hurried out, eager to call Jeff and tell him everything. He'd gotten a solo. A major one. At a Regional competition. He was nearly laughing out loud. He caught sight of Hunter leaving as well, and in his adrenaline rush, he called out to him.

"What did you do that for?"

Hunter turned, tilting his head. "What?"

"You supported my idea. I thought I was your competition." Nick shook his head, and Hunter laughed a little.

"Actually, your audition idea was weak. I raised my own idea."

Nick breathed in. "Still. You promoted me."

"I want to win Regionals." Hunter said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "And you're going to make us win."

He laughed, a little breathless. "No pressure."

"Lots of pressure, actually." Hunter turned away again. "But you can handle it."

Nick smiled, then covered his face as the smile grew wider. He was going to do this. He could picture it. Spotlight, an audience full of people, Jeff giving him flowers after and kissing him without caring who was watching because he was proud. And Nick was proud of himself. He dialed Jeff on his way back, talking fast as soon as he picked up. "You'll never believe what just happened, I can't stop smiling, I have to Skype you as soon as I'm back and tell you everything and see your face when I say it."

Regionals, let's do this.

* * *

 **Giving Nick what he deserves 2k18. I hope you guys liked this, it was a bit more Nick focused than Niff but hopefully there was a good mix of both in there. Next chapter is Regionals, so get ready for the introduction of the New Directions! See y'all soon, favorite and review (:**


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow, really really late update, for the few of you that have stuck around, thanks for waiting. I didn't realize I would take this long, but hopefully college and writers block won't strike again. Anyways, enjoy.**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

"Help, I'm dying."

Nick often got phone calls like this from Jeff. Usually they meant he was hungry and couldn't find something to eat, he had to pee and couldn't find a bathroom, or his "heart was breaking" because he hadn't seen Nick in a few days. "What's up?"

He heard Jeff spitting something out, and frowned, straining his ears a little. "I just got a fucking slushy thrown in my face."

"You what?" Nick stood, drawing the attention of everyone in the library. He quickly sat back down again, lowering his voice. "What happened?"

"I was leaving Bio, and these three giant jocks passed and tossed a slushy in my face. Where did they even get it?" He heard the sink running, and knew Jeff must have gone to the bathroom to wash up. He wanted to drive to McKinley and destroy those guys.

"Where do they get off doing that? You never did anything to them."

"It's- I must have done something to bother them." Jeff said, and if Nick was there he would have scowled at him.

"You did not. Did they do it because you're in the glee club? Kurt said the glee club is like, bottom of the food chain."

He heard Jeff pulling paper towels from the dispenser, waiting for his answer. "Judging by a few choice words they used, I think they did it- because they know I'm dating you."

Nick felt his blood boiling. The same thing that happened to Kurt would happen to Jeff. "What the fuck is wrong with that fucking school? A bunch of homophobic assholes. Go to the principal-"

"It's not like Dalton, Nick." Jeff interrupted. "The principal doesn't do anything. I just have to deal with it."

"No, you don't have to deal with it." Nick wracked his brain for some solution. He couldn't find one. "Fuck. I'm so- fuck."

"Listen, I'm okay, alright? Don't get worked up, I didn't mean to upset you." Jeff said softly, and Nick eased up slightly, but his fist was still clenched on the table. "I can handle some ignorant dummies. I don't care what they say about me. I'm just pissed they got red dye on my Star Wars T-shirt."

Nick rubbed his temple, breathing out and trying to relax. "I'll have Kurt text you with ways to get out the stain, I'm sure he'll know how." Silence fell again, and he listened to the water run. "Jeff, I'm sorry."

"Why?" Jeff answered, confused.

"That you have to put up with shit like that. It's- it makes me sick."

"That's nothing you have to apologize for." Jeff said, the tap squeaking off. "You have Regionals to focus on, Mr. Soloist."

Nick shook his head, though Jeff couldn't see him. "You're more important than a dumb competition."

"Did my boyfriend just call a competition _dumb_?" Jeff gasped, Nick laughing a little, despite feeling like crying. "Don't worry about me, okay? I mean it. I actually like it here, aside from those idiots."

"Okay." Nick gave in. He'd never stop worrying about him, but he didn't say that. "I miss you."

"Next time I see you, you'll be winning a Regionals trophy."

Nick smiled a little. "Shouldn't you be rooting for your own team?"

"Nick, I've always played both sides." His wink was practically audible, and Nick groaned. "Think of me as a sexy double agent."

"Don't make me hang up."

Jeff laughed, making a kissing noise in the phone. "I love you. Don't get distracted from rehearsing, you'll need the practice so I don't kick your ass next week."

"I love you back." He sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "Talk to you later."

They hung up, and Nick fiddled with his textbook. For the thousandth time, he wished that Jeff were here with him, where they could be in their own little bubble and ignore people like McKinley jocks and Nick's parents and anyone else that couldn't see what they had.

* * *

Nick's best distraction was work, and he had a lot to do. Wes and David had asked that he prepare a song to present to the Warblers, one that he thought would show his vocal range. This was huge, the council had always been in charge of song choice. Of course, they'd still have the final say, but giving Nick the chance to do a personal choice was a big deal. The only problem was, he couldn't think of a song.

"Your range is good, but you lean more towards an alto, you should pick something in that range." Blaine said, laying on Nick's floor and typing an essay.

Kurt was on the bed with Nick, flipping through some of Blaine's sheet music. "I don't know, I think taking a risk could be worth it. That's how stars are made."

Nick rolled his eyes, researching possible choices on his laptop. "The Warblers aren't big on risks, if you haven't noticed."

"Awe, if Jeff were here, he'd be so proud of your distaste for the patriarchy." Kurt teased, Nick laughing under his breath. "Speaking of, how is he?"

"He's good." Nick nodded. "He says he likes it there."

Kurt shrugged. "I can see how he would. He's never been one for structure. And that school can be a zoo."

"He got a slushy thrown at him." Nick added.

Kurt sighed. "I'm surprised he made it over a month there without getting one until now. They suck. Cold and sticky and the ice can hurt."

Nick frowned. "Do you think it's gonna happen again? I've never heard of something like that."

"I hate to say it, but probably." Kurt said softly.

Nick slumped against his headboard. "Fuck that. I wish he could just come back."

"You should Skype him." Blaine spoke up. "I haven't seen his face in a while."

Nick agreed, pulling up Skype and starting a video chat with Jeff. He answered after a few rings, grinning wide. "Hey. I can't sexy Skype because I'm at rehearsal but I'm so up for tonight. I had this dream last night where you were wearing-"

"Hi Jeff." Kurt spoke up, Nick pressing his hand to his face.

"Kurt!" Jeff smiled, unashamed. "Nick, turn the computer to Kurt."

Nick passed it over, laughing at Jeff's enthusiasm. "Are you Skyping from rehearsal?"

"Yeah, I just stepped out and answered on my phone." Jeff nodded, leaning against a row of lockers. "I gotta say, you guys better be prepared. Because the number we're working on right now is totally amazing."

"So is ours." Blaine said loud enough for him to hear.

"Blaine's there too? Show me him!" Kurt turned the computer to Blaine, who waved. "Hey!"

Blaine got onto the bed, squishing into the frame with Nick and Kurt. "Hey, we miss you."

"I miss you guys too." Jeff smiled sadly. "We need to hang out soon-"

"Sterling, you'd better not be fraternizing with the enemy right now." A girl took Jeff's phone and turned it on herself. "You are!"

"We're just catching up, no spoilers, I promise." Jeff laughed, coming into the frame again.

"Hey, Santana." Kurt waved, and the girl waved back.

"As much as I'd love to gossip with you ladies, we are in the middle of rehearsal and I don't like losing." Santana gave Jeff a look.

"I was the one that choreographed the dance, Tana. Believe me, I know it." Jeff took his phone back.

"Yeah, and you have to teach it to all the clumsy idiots in there that don't know their left foot from their right." Santana went back down the hall, and Jeff smiled at them.

"I think I might have to get back."

Nick felt a surge of pride for Jeff. "You're choreographing a number?" He'd always wanted to do that at Dalton and hadn't gotten the chance.

"Yeah." Jeff laughed, rubbing the back of his head modestly. "It's pretty simple, they're not all dancers. But- I think it's pretty good."

"I bet it's amazing." Nick shook his head. He wished Kurt and Blaine were gone so he could say more, but he stopped there.

"We'll all Skype again soon. And I'll see you guys at Regionals." Jeff promised, blowing kisses.

"Love you." Nick said while Kurt and Blaine said their goodbyes, and Jeff hung up. Jeff was getting to do something he really wanted to do. He was going to blow everyone away.

"Let's get back to song hunting?" Kurt said. "It's gotta be emotional, it has to come from your heart. Sing about what inspires you, what gets you out of bed everyday. Passion."

He thought of Jeff, how far he'd come, how much he loved him. How he wanted to tell everyone that he was lucky enough that Jeff loved him. "I know what song I want to do."

* * *

"Hi, mom?"

"Nicholas, how are you?"

"Fine, fine. I was just wondering- you're coming to Regionals this weekend, right?"

"Regionals…?"

"Show choir competition."

"Oh, right. Your father and I are quite busy this weekend, I'll have to look at the schedule. You'll have other competitions, right?"

"It depends on if we win this one."

"We'll try our best sweetheart. How are your classes? Maintaining good grades, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, good. Alright, well, I've got to get to dinner with some family friends. The Walsh family, do you remember them?"

"No."

"Their son is about your age, they think he'll be valedictorian. I said you were on track for the same. You are, right?"

"I don't know, I-"

"Oh, that's them beeping in now. We'll talk soon, keep studying."

"Love you-"

 _Call Ended 5:47 PM._

* * *

The bus to regionals was charged with energy. Nearly thirty teenage boys competition bound was a recipe for rowdiness, and they fulfilled that expectation and then some. "I know we're going to win this." Blaine was saying, hyping them up even further.

Nick tried to participate in the fun, but his stomach was doing somersaults. Yes, he wanted this solo. But now that he had it, he was nervous. He'd practiced his song about a million times in a row, Wes and David had approved it, but his stomach felt unsettled. _With great power comes great responsibility_. His father's voice droned in his head, listing off the same quotes he always did. He had a responsibility with this solo, he's be one of the major deciding factors if their team won or lost. He felt like he needed to breathe in a paper bag.

"How are you feeling?"

Nick looked over to see Trent had slid into the spot next to him, smiling a little. "Pre-show jitters. You?"

Trent nodded his agreement, taking a deep breath. "I don't feel ready, honestly." Trent said, biting his lip. "I'm not as talented as you or Blaine or Kurt. And I don't have that much experience-"

"Hey, don't talk like that." Nick interrupted him, pushing his own worries aside for the moment. "They didn't just hand you this. You earned this solo because everyone can recognize that they had been underestimating you. You're perfectly capable of nailing this."

Trent blushed, laughing a little. "I don't know. I don't want to be the reason we lose."

Nick could definitely understand that. "You won't be. Everyone trusts you to do well, we wouldn't be putting you out there if we didn't."

"You're definitely going to be a head of council next year." Trent said in response, shaking his head slowly. "You're a leader type. I'm not." Nick paused, sitting back a little. He hadn't really thought of himself that way. Blaine was the one that got solos. Jeff was the more outspoken one. Michael was more successful. Kurt gave the best advice. What did Nick have that made him stand out, made him a leader? "We're here."

Trent's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked out the window as the bus pulled up to the window. McKinley's bus was currently unloading, and Nick caught sight of Jeff coming out, holding a blonde girl's hand and laughing at something. He looked like he was having fun, like he was ready for today. Nick ached for his presence by his side to keep him at ease. The Warblers got off the bus and migrated into the building, their chaperone ushering them to their room backstage before they could convene with the New Directions. Jeff caught his eye across the busy lobby and stood on a chair so Nick could see him better, waving and blowing him a kiss. Nick laughed, catching it and shaking his head. Jeff's teammates pulled him down, and they got lost in the crowd, but Nick felt a little better. He kept the hand that had caught Jeff's kiss tightly closed, like it was really there.

"Let's run numbers before the show starts." Wes said as soon as they made it to their room, a few Warblers groaning. Nick wanted to rehearse though, the more practice they had, the better their chance of winning was. They ran their numbers until the blinking lights signaled showtime, finding their seats in the audience. Right behind McKinley. Relieved, Nick sat behind Jeff, who stretched his arm behind his chair to hold his hand.

"You look so good today." Jeff said softly, Nick squeezing his hand.

"So do you."

"This must be the boyfriend we always hear about!" A girl with bangs turned in her seat, extending her arm to shake his free hand. Nick blushed as he shook her hand.

"Hopefully all good things."

"Of course!" The girl smiled widely. "I'm Rachel Berry, your strongest competition. Jeff says you have quite the voice, but don't let confidence get to your head, I know my solos backwards, forwards, and in three languages- ow!" She was cut off by Santana thumping the back of her head.

Jeff laughed, kissing Nick's hand. "That's just how she talks."

Nick shook his head a little and smiled, hoping she wasn't as good as she let on. "Wow."

"How long have you guys been dating?" The blonde girl who had been holding Jeff's hand smiled at them.

"Just over a year." Jeff nodded.

"Wow, I can't even remember what happened last year. That's so long."

The tall one, Kurt's stepbrother, interjected as well. "We were worried Jeff might be a spy, because he talked about you so much that we thought there's no way he would actually transfer away from you."

Jeff blushed. "He's a keeper."

"If Jeff's sexting has gotten better, you have me to thank, because I looked through your conversations and you guys can get a little dry." Santana ruffled Jeff's hair. Nick went to protest, but Santana kept going. "But don't worry, I can offer a master class on the subject-"

"We're all set." Nick laughed a little, widening his eyes at Jeff. This was possibly the strangest group of people he'd ever met.

"Amy wants to say hi to you, by the way, she's somewhere around." Jeff scanned the crowd. "What about your parents? They made it this time, right?"

Nick's stomach dropped just slightly, looking to their joined hands. "Not this time, no."

Jeff looked at him again, frowning. "What? This is a big competition. You have a solo."

"I know that." Nick muttered, wishing their teammates weren't listening. "It's fine. I'm glad Amy's here."

"She has always considered you family. So you do have family here." Jeff kissed Nick's hand, so easily softening his heart.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's true."

Jeff smiled and turned more in his seat, leaning over the back of the chair to kiss him. Nick laughed under his breath, meeting him halfway and kissing him. The Warblers made their usual sound effects, while Jeff's team cooed and slapped Jeff on the back in congratulations. They separated laughing, eyes locked and showing that at that moment, they understood each others worries and that everything would work out fine. "Welcome to this year's Regional Show Choir Competition!" The announcer cut through the buzz of the crowd, and Jeff winked before turning back around in his seat, still holding his hand.

Nick listened to the announcer and focused on the feeling of holding Jeff's hand. The Warblers went sixth, and the New Directions went seventh, coincidentally. At the fourth number, they filed backstage to be ready for their entrance, the New Directions following minutes later. His nerves were kicking in again, but he also felt the same adrenaline rush he always did. Those minutes in the spotlight were what he lived for. "You're going to do great." Nick turned at the sound of someone's voice, another blonde from the New Directions with short hair. "Really. Jeff has waxed poetic since he transferred in about how talented you are."

Nick blushed, glancing to Jeff, who was running steps with one of the other dancers on the team. "I think he thinks too highly of me."

"No." She shook her head. "It was genuine, all of it."

Nick's nerves faded slowly. Jeff knew he was capable. He trusted Jeff's judgement. After all, he was the one he was about to sing about. "Well, good luck to you guys."

She smiled. "You too." She went back over to her team, trading places with Jeff, who took his shoulders like a prize fighter and shook him gently.

"I can't wait to hear you sing. I can't openly cheer for you, Rachel will kick my ass in the competitive spirit, but know that I'm your biggest fan."

Nick leaned into him, nodding. "I'm yours."

"Can I get your autograph after the show?" Jeff smiled widely, and Nick laughed.

"You can get a VIP pass."

Jeff grinned, kissing him. "Noted. Now go kill it."

Nick pulled away, straightening his tie and flashing a smile. "My song is for you."

"You're a sap." Jeff smiled, but Nick could see his blush. He never got tired of seeing it.

He went to say more, but the Warblers were being called, and it was time to take their places. He traced a heart in the air as he walked away, turning back to see Jeff mimick the motion. He took his thousandth deep breath and took the stage, trying to remember tricks to quell anxiety. But the curtain parted, and he turned into the spotlight, and his nerves faded away.

The first line opened their set with a bang, and he couldn't resist looking sideways towards Jeff in the wings as he sang it. "My gift is my song, and this one's for you."

Jeff's expression showed he immediately recognized it, the version of 'Your Song' from Moulin Rouge. His smile was wide, and it was hard to look back to the audience when all he wanted was to pull Jeff on stage and serenade him. But somehow, he did. "And you can tell everybody, that this is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that it's done, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words… how wonderful life is, now you're in the world."

The intro had been him singing without backup, but as the Warblers began to join in, their practiced harmony setting a perfect backdrop for the song.

 _Sat on the roof_

 _And I kicked off the moss_

 _Well, some of these verses, well they_

 _They've got me quite cross._

 _But the sun's been kind_

 _While I wrote this song_

 _It's for people like you that_

 _Keep it turned on_

 _So excuse me forgetting_

 _But these things I do_

 _You see I've forgotten_

 _If they're green or they're blue_

 _Anyway, the thing is_

 _What I really mean_

 _Yours are the sweetest eyes_

 _I've ever seen_

It was easy to sing this song with Jeff in mind. Effortless to pretend Jeff was there in front of him, that there was no one else in there but the two of them. "And you can tell everybody, this is your song!" The chorus was full with every voice in their choir, all blended together to fill the auditorium. "It may be quite simple but, now that it's done…" He had to look to Jeff again, to deliver these last lines. "I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is, now you're in the world."

The Warblers faded off to the end, and their audience stood to applaud, but Nick hardly noticed, because Jeff had tears in his eyes and it took every ounce of willpower not to go to him. But Jeff signaled for him to turn back to the crowd, and he did, bowing and soaking in the sound. It was like recharging a battery. He wanted to stay on that stage forever if it meant just one minute of this. They switched into Trent's song, with Miles in some bigger parts of it, and that brought a standing ovation as well. They left the stage all too soon, but it was okay, because Jeff was waiting on the other side.

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" Jeff grabbed his arm the second he was offstage, pulling him close. Nick grinned, cupping Jeff's face with both hands to kiss him and not caring who was around. He was buzzed on applause.

"You're the amazing one. I know I can't write you original songs like you can for me-"

"Shut up." Jeff cut him off, kissing him back. "That was perfect. That was the most amazing performance you've ever given and that's saying something. Don't tell my team I said this, but you guys are gonna win."

Nick flushed with the praise, hugging him tight. "Not after the judges see your dancing."

"Nothing compares to you." Jeff said, and Nick went to protest, but Jeff was being pulled away from him to go perform.

"Break a leg!" He called after him, Jeff's laughter audible as he was shuffled to the stage.

"I need my legs to dance!"

Nick rolled his eyes, smiling as he leaned against the wall in the wings, letting happiness wash over him. He only needed a few things in his life. A place to perform, and Jeff to perform for. He could see the stage from where he was standing, and watched Jeff with held breath. He was always amazing to watch, he knew how to draw attention, but this time was especially good. He was totally in his element here, able to do what he loved without conformity. He was having a blast, and it showed in every number.

Just like when Nick came offstage, Nick enveloped Jeff in his arms as soon as he saw him, smiling into his shoulder. "You lit up the entire stage tonight."

Jeff smiled. "I was performing for you, too."

There was a moment where sounds faded to background noise and everything around them washed away, where it was just the two of them catching their breath and coming down from adrenaline highs and looking at eachother with smiles wide enough to hurt their cheeks. And then the moment was gone, both of them being tugged apart by their teammates, but knowing they'd meet up again later.

"Great job." Hunter's voice was the first to cut through his haze, and Nick turned towards him as he was pulled into their group, migrating to the hallway to discuss their performance at intermission.

"Thanks." Maybe he should be more wary of Hunter, take his praise with a grain of salt. But he was so high off the ground right now.

Wes and David cut in then, discussing their performances and judging the other teams' performances so far. "Jeff was so great." Trent piped up.

"He was." Wes sighed. "He really looked like he was having fun. We should've let him choreograph a lot more."

Nick nodded his agreement. "The Warblers could stand to spice it up a little bit."

"I think three new soloists is enough change for now." David laughed, straightening his blazer. Nick rolled his eyes good naturedly. He knew the Warblers wouldn't break old habits for a while. Nick listened to them talk after, not contributing anything, just nodding along. He leaned against the lockers, zoning out, and then he saw them. His parents.

He straightened up quickly, leaving the group without saying why and heading down the hallway. "Mom? Dad?"

They turned, his mother offering a brief smile. "Great job tonight, Nicholas."

Nick was stunned, to say the least. "I- You said you were busy this weekend."

His father shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we won't be able to stay for the second half, but we made some time to come. We still want Michael's campaign to have a supportive family behind it, show we're involved and all that."

His mother visibly nudged his arm, but Nick had already deflated. Of course. "So this wasn't about seeing me at all? Jesus, you couldn't even lie and say it was?"

"Nick, please. Let's not make a scene." His mother said gently, smiling all the while. "Of course we wanted to see you sing, too. And you were great."

Nick shook his head, slowly. He tried to collect himself. He turned away from them and took a few steps back down the hall, with every intention to walk back to the Warblers, who were currently staring at him. He saw Jeff come out of the theatre then too, smiling wide and looking around for him. Nick didn't want to let his parents win tonight. And before he knew it, he was turning back around. "I'm tired of how obsessed this family is with image." He said, keeping his distance but holding their gazes. "Don't you guys get sick of keeping up appearances? Don't you have any real emotions? Somewhere?"

His mother looked around at the students who were staring and pretending they weren't. "Can we do this at home-"

"I'm not coming home tonight. I'm going to Jeff's." Nick shook his head.

It was his father's turn to check their audience's reaction. "You're coming home."

"I'm going to Jeff's." He repeated, feeling a hand brush his arm. He knew instantly it was Jeff, and he was relieved just with his presence.

"Then don't come home." His father said, and this time Nick didn't think it was in his head when everything around them went silent. "Not until you decide to start respecting your parents again." His mother looked torn, but as usual, stayed quiet at his father's side. The New Directions, emerging from the theatre, stopped at the threshold. The competitors milling around them hushed, turning their backs to try to give Nick an ounce of dignity.

He lifted his chin, though he felt like his body was weighted to the ground. "Fine."

Someone pressed play on the hallway again, and everyone returned to what they were doing before Nick's world was flipped. His parents were gone with the crowd after one last look. His father's, disappointment; his mother's, unreadable.

And then he turned to Jeff, who took his hand and held it tight and led him through the hall without saying a word. The hallway was miles long. Lined with spectators. In his head, there were camera flashbulbs and microphones in his face, asking him for the story of how his family could cut him off with a single sentence. Front page magazine, "Local Boy Asks for A Little, Gets Even Less".

They ended up outside, then Amy's car, then Jeff's house. Home. And somewhere along there, he could breathe again.

* * *

"You know you can stay as long as you need. My house is your house. We're your family too. They don't know what they're missing out on."

Amy was a walking Lifetime special, but Nick didn't mind. It was nice to hear those things. Mom things. But it sort of went in one ear and out the other, everything happened too fast. He was still in his Dalton uniform. Finally, he was in Jeff's room with him, and he could let go of his brave face. "I won't stay here for long. My dad just wanted to act tough." Nick said, pulling off his uniform and digging through Jeff's drawer for the sweatpants he always stole from him.

"Nick. You know I wouldn't mind if you moved in permanently. I'd actually prefer it." Jeff found the sweatpants he knew Nick was looking for, handing them to him.

"No. No, I wouldn't do that." Nick shook his head, then sighed when Jeff looked hurt. "Not because I don't want to stay. Because I can't."

Jeff sat on the bed, shrugging. "You could."

"No, I can't. This is temporary. My dad just got worked up." Nick ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath as he changed. "Amy does everything for me. I'm not gonna be more of a burden."

"God, a burden?" Jeff laughed. "You're family."

Nick blinked, shaking his head and looking away. "I know you say that. But it's not really true. I'm not family." He felt tears brim, and turned towards the closet. "I have a family. I'm stuck with that one. And you can say that I'm family here but it won't change that the one I'm really part of doesn't even want me." He didn't realize that the tears were falling until he saw them on the sweatpants he still had bunched in his hand, and the night's events were finally hitting him. He sank to his knees on the floor, letting himself cry.

He heard Jeff get off the bed and kneel beside him, rubbing his back slowly and not saying anything yet. Nick was grateful that Jeff knew him well enough to let him cry uninterrupted for a while. It hurt, the way they treated him. How they didn't have to say what they were thinking for Nick to see the way they looked at Jeff and judged Nick dating him as some disrespectful act of rebellion. How even tonight, when they fought about something other than that, it always circled back to the disconnect they'd had since he'd come out. Just when he thought progress was being made.

When the tears subsided, and he felt exhausted, Jeff was there to lean against. "Nick. You don't have to be blood to be family. You can choose your family, as far as I'm concerned, the only requirement is a group of people that love you and want the best for you." Jeff said softly, kissing his temple. "And you have that here. You have that with the Warblers."

Nick rubbed his eyes. "I just wish things were easier."

Jeff nodded slowly. "I know. I wish I could make things easier for you. I wish I could tell your parents… well, I wish I could tell them a lot of things." Nick shoved him lightly, and Jeff conceded. "But I want to tell _you_ that you are so much more than their approval. You're more than how many shows they go to or what they think about your sexuality, and it's only their loss. Not yours."

Nick looked up at him, still slumped into him. "I'm trying to keep that in mind. But it's hard."

"Believe me, I know." Jeff smiled a little, bittersweet. Nick squeezed his hand. "But we have eachother. So that means we have all the love in the world right here." Jeff pointed to their joined hands, as if between them they held all the stars. Maybe they did. It felt like they did.

"Thank you." He brought their little galaxy up to his lips and kissed the back of Jeff's hand. He'd needed to hear it.

Jeff nodded, getting up with him and climbing into bed, pulling him close and keeping their hands clasped. His problems with his parents weren't solved, far from it, really. But right now, they didn't need to be. He was with someone he loved. He was with family. Jeff's phone buzzed on the bedside table then, and he leaned over to check it, Nick taking the opportunity to move closer. "Oh my God." Jeff said, sitting up after reading the text and handing Nick the phone. Nick tilted his head, taking the phone and reading the text on the screen. Or, should he say, multiple texts.

To: Jeff 9:14 PM

From: Rachel

WE WON!

To: Jeff 9:14 PM

From: Santana

while u were running out for a quickie with your bf, we won regionals !

To: Jeff 9:15 PM

From: Quinn

Pack your bags for New York, New Directions are headed to Nationals!

"Oh my God." Nick laughed, pulling Jeff close. "I'm so proud of you. Seriously. I told you, you won that for them."

"It was a team effort." Jeff said, but he was blushing, hugging him back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to rub it in."

Nick shook his head. "You deserve this. You all do." It was true. Nick was proud of his performance, but it didn't mean the New Directions weren't worthy of first place. Especially Jeff.

Jeff smiled, reading the texts again. "This is crazy. New York."

"You'll have the best time." Nick smiled, reclining against the pillows.

" _We'll_ have the best time." Jeff corrected, putting his phone back and grinning at him. "You think you're not coming with me?"

"It's a trip for the New Directions-" Nick protested, Jeff rolling his eyes.

"And a vacation getaway, if you look at it the right way."

Nick couldn't help but laugh, pulling him back to lay down. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"You're coming." Jeff nodded, breathing out contentedly.

He brushed Jeff's hair out of his eyes, studying his face in the dim light and smiling to himself. "I'd go anywhere with you."

"Careful, Duval, I could plan some pretty crazy outings." Jeff laughed, tickling his side.

"I trust you." He laughed, swatting his hand away. But he quickly found his place close to him again, closing his eyes and getting comfortable. Jeff always made him believe everything would work out fine. Because as long as Jeff was there, it would.

* * *

 **Hopefully worth the wait? Niff taking on the big city next chapter, so stay tuned. I used Moulin Rouge's version of "Your Song" in this chapter. Favorite and follow, and review to say absolutely anything to keep me motivated, clearly I need a push. :)**


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